Forgiveness for Family
By kedralynn
@kedralynn (980)
United States
March 23, 2012 6:51pm CST
Growing up, my older sister was a horrible person. She got pregnant young, was in gangs, stole from the family, had me sent to a foster home, got arrested a lot, did all kinds of drugs and many other bad things. She tore the family apart to an extent. She stressed my parents out and we had to eventually give up on her and shut her out. My parents kept trying to help her but she never changed.
Well now it is 15 years later and I am happy to say she's turning her life around. She's off the drugs, married, and she got her kids back from foster care. She goes to church and she's been a kind responsible person.
I used to think I could never forgive her for the troubles she caused, for the pain and trauma she put me thru. But I have to say that she's earned the forgiveness. Now that I'm sick, she's been helping me clean my house and run my errands. She's one of my best friends. I am so glad to have her back!
Have you forgiven a family member recently? Or is there one that you're not sure how to forgive?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
I once said that to myself that I will never forgive my sister who put me down and wanted me down who causes my husband to break up. But, when she asked forgiveness of what she did, I accepted her apology right away and didn't get angry at her anymore. My husband couldn't forgive her. They said blood is thicker than water.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
24 Mar 12
Yes they do. I hope your sister is truly sorry for what she did. I forgave my sister because I can tell she knows she did wrong and she's truly sorry.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
For the first time she asked forgiveness, I thought she was sincere, but it turned out that she just wanted to know how my life was being heartbroken. 1 year later after that, she asked forgiveness again and told me that it is really true. I gave her another chance and forgave her. I think she really mean it now.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Mar 12
I hope she does mean it. Maybe it just took her time to realize how bad it was.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
24 Mar 12
Hello there... They say that do not blame a bad guy, he is bad because the circumstances made him so... I am not a philosopher or something... But I have seen enough life to recognize that we can't blame anyone for going bad.. There are reasons, good ones, for one to behave anti-socially.. And we are too small to understand that..
I am glad that your sister is back to normal life... May it remain so forever... My blessings to both of you.. Take care...
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Mar 12
I've tried so hard to figure out why my sister was the way she was. We grew up the same way, in the same house. Perhaps it was my father. He is bipolar (as am I) and spent most of our lives fighting cancer. It made him cold and bitter. It messed me up too, but maybe my sister just took it a little harder. I guess the next person to forgive would be our father!
Thank you. I pray my sister stays on the right path and has a happy life.
@CelticSoulSister (1640)
• Southend-On-Sea, England
24 Mar 12
That's a lovely story and I'm glad your sister has turned a big corner. I can't help forgiving people eventually. It does take me some time to do it, but I get there in the end. After a while, I feel guilty for bearing a grudge, plus a grudge is a heavy load to carry so I do try to let go of them and lighten the load. Also, I think people who have sincerely shown that they are truly sorry and genuinely willing to make amends, they deserve to be forgiven.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Mar 12
It's true, it takes a lot out of you to hold a grudge! I didn't think that I was holding a grudge against my sister. She wasn't a part of my life for many years and I didn't even think of her. But then she showed up again one day and the emotions flooded back. Thankfully that's all behind us now!
@Ghajini (776)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
It's really great to see people change for the good, like the old saying goes as long as there is life, there is hope. I personally have experienced some bad things with some relatives but as time passes by, I realize that I should learn to understand and forgive others because nobody's perfect and if GOD can forgive us, who am I not to forgive people who have done wrong things to me. Furthermore, it's really great to have a good and healthy relationship with other people especially with our family and relatives. Lastly, I wish you and your sister the best :). Happy lotting!
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Mar 12
So true. I know I've made mistakes as well. Not as bad as her, but I could always use a little forgiveness too. Thank you! I just hope she stays on the right track!
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
24 Mar 12
I've forgiven my dad alot for his drinking in the past. We help each other and he is pretty much deaf now too so it still brings a big damper on things especially where my mom is concerned, she has no patience with him. I feel like my life is almost always in turmoil with some thing or other (it can never go totally smooth for like a week) since I moved to this two years ago.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Mar 12
I am sorry to hear that. My dad has made many mistakes as well. Some I've forgiven, some I long to forgive, but don't know if I can. I mean I love him, but he's not really in my life anymore. He just walked out one day and that was that. I wish we could talk out the issues of the past but he's too stubborn.
I hope things get better for you. Do you often feel kind of stuck in the middle of your parents problems? I grew up being in the middle of my dad and my sister fighting constantly. I longed to move out but I was too young back then.
@Vvance (280)
• United States
24 Mar 12
"To err is human, to forgive divine."
Guess that makes you divine, kedralynn :) !!
Well, I'd say you're pretty lucky to have gotten your sister back. Many people who go down that path never return and destroy themselves, scratch redemption.
Fortunately, I haven't yet had such trouble with anyone in my family, and I hope I won't anytime soon, either. But I guess if I did face something like that, I would strive to forgive them, like you did. Holding a grudge against someone doesn't do either the 'grudger' or the 'grudgee' any good, lol!!
Congratulations on getting your sis back :D, and hope you get better soon !!!
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Mar 12
Haha thanks! Honestly there was a time when I thought I'd never have her back in my life and I didn't want her back! But I am thankful to have her back.
It was hard hating her. I feel hate is a wasted emotion. So I didn't hate her, but I didn't care for her either. Whenever I heard she was back in jail, I just shrugged it off. Not my problem kind of thing. Now I would feel bad if she went back down that dark path!
@GardenGerty (157674)
• United States
24 Mar 12
I am sorry you are ill, and also that your sister had such a rough start. It is a blessing that she is on the right track now. I have not had to forgive to the extent you have, and I am sure some people need to forgive me as well. I am not perfect. Your post reminds us that there is often hope,even when we have to give up.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Mar 12
Thanks hun! I'm not perfect either and I am sure I need to be forgiven as well. Perhaps not as badly as her but I am truly grateful she's turned around and is righting her wrongs :) I honestly never thought the day would come!
