Friends and their interests
By Porcospino
@Porcospino (31366)
Denmark
March 27, 2012 10:29am CST
My friend told me about an experience she had with an online friend. She and her friend had never met, but they used to exchange emails. My friend had sent her online friend an email where she described some of the things that she was very interested in. When her friend replied she wrote: "I am not the least bit interested in the things that you mentioned and I think that we should end the friendship"
Personally I don't really understand her opinion and I wouldn't end a friendship because we don't share every interest. Of course it is nice when my friends and I are interested in some of the same things, but I also like to have friends who are interested in things that I don't know much about. I like to ask my friends questions about the interests that I don't share and I see it as a chance to learn something new. I think it would be a little boring if shared every single interest.
What do you think? Is it important to you that your friends and you share every interest? Why/why not? Would you end a friendship if your friend was interested in something that you didn't find interesting?
3 people like this
17 responses
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
27 Mar 12
Well,a friend online that ask interest i don't know if i can trust it.In other site, i always got some inbox message that the person is interested to look my profile and interested to be my friend.
Well,i don't entertain it because i know a long that they are a fake people.Maybe a online secret liar,and fraud or scam.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
28 Mar 12
I get those messages, too. I agree, most of them are from scammers, and I delete them straight away. Actually many of those messages are written the same way and I don't trust them. I don't know what would happen if I replied to one of the messages, and I don't want to try it, but I think that some of them are romance scams where the person pretends to be interested in a relationship. The only thing they are actually interested in is our money or our personal information, so I think it best to delete the messages.
1 person likes this
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
28 Mar 12
That's true,maybe they sent those messages so we can be like or interested to response and responding each other until they will do things ask you.I am careful on that, at first i wanted to response
1 person likes this
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
27 Mar 12
Hi Porcospino,
online friend becomes personal friend when someone feels interest about him or her. I think to show to much interest is not good. We should restrain our curiosity. Everyone should be careful about not to cross the limit. But your friend's attitude is a bit mysterious. She broke friendship for a silly matter.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
27 Mar 12
I also think that the reason that she mentioned is a bit silly. I think that we can be friends even when we don't share every interest. Sometimes online friends become close friends in real life, and sometimes we never get to know eachother that well. Some of my online friends have become very good friends in real life. We started out as strangers, but today we close friends. I agree with you when you say that we shouldn't be too curious or ask too much. I think it is better to get to know eachother little by little and let the friendship develop gradually.
@kat_princess (1470)
• Philippines
28 Mar 12
You know friendship is all about knowing each other's good & bad side yet learning to accept all these & to accept each other. :)
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
1 Apr 12
That is very good description of friendship 
It reminds me of the quote by Elbard Hubard: "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." In a friendship we have to accept eachother and accept that we all have good and bad sides. I don't feel that I have to share every interest with my friends and be like my friends in every way. We share some interests and I think that is great ,because it means that we can discuss the things that we are both interested in and do things together that we are both interested in. On the other hand we can also learn from eachother and learn from our differences, and I think that it would be a little boring if my friends were completely like me.
It reminds me of the quote by Elbard Hubard: "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." In a friendship we have to accept eachother and accept that we all have good and bad sides. I don't feel that I have to share every interest with my friends and be like my friends in every way. We share some interests and I think that is great ,because it means that we can discuss the things that we are both interested in and do things together that we are both interested in. On the other hand we can also learn from eachother and learn from our differences, and I think that it would be a little boring if my friends were completely like me.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
28 Mar 12
No I would not. They must have had one shared interest to start sending each other e-mails. I think some interests must be shared. Maybe only one, and anything else is an chance to learn something. Maybe they had another reason for wanting to end the friendship?
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
28 Mar 12
Hi,
You said it. Differences make things interesting. If everything you and me share is the same what would be left to talk about? So , as you have said they should send emails keeping in minds that though they are friends they have their own personal likings and disliking and that should not affect their relation.
1 person likes this
@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
28 Mar 12
Friendship doesn't exists on sharing same interests or breaks merely because two people have different interests. My friends and I have similar and dissimilar interests. We enjoy our similar interests and learn from each others different interests. I think that girl just wanted to end the communication so she gave this excuse of being uninterested in your friend's pursuits.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
1 Apr 12
Yes, it could have been an excuse to end the friendship. I don't know that girl, because it was my friend who exchanged emails with her, but it is possible that she didn't want to tell my friend the real reason why she wanted to end the friendship. Like you and your friends my friends and I share some interests but not every interest. We talk about our similar interests and we do things together, and I think that is great, but I also think that it is nice that we don't share every interests. That way he can inspire eachother and learn new things. We can also help eachother, because are aren't good at the same things.
@sourabharoy1992 (730)
• India
28 Mar 12
Hello porcospino,
great story of your friend. And really I like it.
Actual i dont think i have to share every interest with my friends. Its may be he/ she very bashful. And its may be our choice is different. And interest also different but I cant break friendship only for that little reason. I enjoy it. And want to try hush up him/ her with my interest.
Nice to meet you. Hope to see you again. Have a nice day.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
28 Mar 12
It is nice to meet you, too 
I feel the same way, I wouldn't end a friendship because we have different interests. It is nice to share some interests, but I don't think that it is problem that we don't share every interest. I actually see it as a way to learn something new. Sometimes I learn new things from my friends and sometimes they learn new things from me, and I think that our differences is a strength and not a problem.
I feel the same way, I wouldn't end a friendship because we have different interests. It is nice to share some interests, but I don't think that it is problem that we don't share every interest. I actually see it as a way to learn something new. Sometimes I learn new things from my friends and sometimes they learn new things from me, and I think that our differences is a strength and not a problem.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
27 Mar 12
it depends on the person
I personally have no problem with people having different interests
but most of the time, in fact almost always, they are the ones who are narrow minded
they keep mocking what I like to do, what I believe in
when I defend my interest and belief, they said I am trying to convert them LOL
I seem to attract this type of people
they were usually kind and caring in the beginning and then true colors started showing up I can see their arrogance and bigotry thinking they are perfect powerful etc which is fine until they start mocking me
Now learning from this experience, in the beginning of friendship or before they add me on FB, I would tell them point blank what my interests are and tell them that if they have a problem with that, don't bother to add me becaus they won't like the newsfeed LOL my interests are mostly astrology, natural health, yoga, meditation
as for now most of my friends share the same interests because apparently I haven't met many open minded people who can mind their own business as I mind mine
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
28 Mar 12
I am interested in some of the same things as you and most of my friends don't share my interests. Sometimes they joke about it and make fun of the kind of books that I read. I used to have a few friends who were interested in the same topics and it was very nice to spend time with people who just accepted that part of me and didn't make fun of it. I understand what you mean when you say that you tell new friends who you are and which things you are interested in, and you might be able to avoid some bad experiences that way like people who are nice in the beginning and start mocking you after a while.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Mar 12
I have a ton of friends that just have maybe one interest of mine. very sad that person would say they cant be friends based on all interests. 
im thinking there may have been another reason and the person ending the friendship just didnt want to tell the truth. 
im thinking there may have been another reason and the person ending the friendship just didnt want to tell the truth. @Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
27 Mar 12
Yes, that could have been the reason why that woman said that they couldn't be friends anymore. Maybe she didn't want to tell my friend the real reason. I have never anyone else say that you can't friends if you don't share every interest. I think that is nice when we share some interests, but we can't expect to share every single interest, that would be unrealistic I think. Like you I have friends who have only one of my interests, but I don't think that is a problem, we are still friends.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
27 Mar 12
I think that online friends can become very close friends. I have found some of my best friends on the internet. In the beginning we were online friends and now we are friends in real life. I would like to meet other online friends as well, but some of them live quite far away from my country, so it is not easy to meet in person. I hope that you will get the chance to meet your online friends in person one day.
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
27 Mar 12
Hi Porcospino,
Great say. This does not mean necessarily that my friends interest should be exactly like that of mine. I say rather beauty would be there if there are contradiction or differences. What you like, I like, good. What I like you do not like should not be the margin to end the tie. That is not friendship. When you do not like my likings or vice versa better we try to learn from each other and this is the essence of friendship.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
27 Mar 12
I also think that differences can be a good thing and that we can learn from eachother. My own friends are very different from eachother. We have some things in common, but we are also different in many ways. I learn a lot from our discussions because we see things in different ways and sometimes they point out things that I wouldn't have thought about on my own and vice versa.
The woman that gave up the friendship with my friend has a different view of friendships, she only wants friends who share all of her interests, and I think that her view of friendship is quite narrow. I don't think that differences should be the end of a friendship.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
27 Mar 12
Hi Porcospino
Of course sharing EVERY interest is something asking for too much. No two people on earth can have 100% identical interests. I think this was just a mere excuse to break the friendship(if you can call it that).
Personally, a few interests, if common, I think add to the strength of the friendship. But this is still not any reason to be or not to be friends. What matters to me is the fact that most of our thought processes should match.
My wife and me are almost opposite people but still we are the best friends. Simply because, we love and care for each other and also Respect each other - in almost every aspect. Yes, we do have confrontations at times (quite horrible ones) but then we get over with them as we want the relation to exist and not get withered away by just one or two places where we contradict beyond acceptance - One Must realize the fact that we both are different individuals and as such we do have our own Identity, views and opinions.
Of course sharing EVERY interest is something asking for too much. No two people on earth can have 100% identical interests. I think this was just a mere excuse to break the friendship(if you can call it that).
Personally, a few interests, if common, I think add to the strength of the friendship. But this is still not any reason to be or not to be friends. What matters to me is the fact that most of our thought processes should match.
My wife and me are almost opposite people but still we are the best friends. Simply because, we love and care for each other and also Respect each other - in almost every aspect. Yes, we do have confrontations at times (quite horrible ones) but then we get over with them as we want the relation to exist and not get withered away by just one or two places where we contradict beyond acceptance - One Must realize the fact that we both are different individuals and as such we do have our own Identity, views and opinions. @Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
27 Mar 12
The comment about the different interests could have been an excuse to end the friendship, that is true. If it is her actual opinion, I think that the my friend's friend has an unrealistic idea about friendships, because she probably can't find another person who shares all of her interests.
I think that the things that you mentioned about you and your wife's relationship are very important things in a relationship especially the respect for eachother. We have to respect eachother and respect eachother's differences. My husband and I share some of the same interests and we agree about many things, but we are also two individual people and we have to keep that in mind...especially when our different opinions lead to arguments.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
14 Oct 12
never ever i would end up a friendship for these reasons,i would still stick with them and share my interests since each person have different views
@egram09 (78)
• Philippines
27 Mar 12
Those people were not really a friend, their just an acquaintance for me. A friend is indeed someone who accepts who you are even if you don't share some interests. Yes, sharing common interests were important, but imposing someone to share with you those interest will not help in building a healthy friendly relationship. Also, why would you let those conflicting interests end your friendship if you're a rel friend.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
27 Mar 12
I also think that a real friend would accept the differences and accept the other person the way that he or she is. When my friend told me about it, I thought that other girl's reaction was a little strange. Maybe she ended the friendship because she didn't want to listen to things that she isn't interested in, but I still find it hard to understand why she chose to end the friendship just like that. Of course it is nice to be interested in some of the same things, but that doesn't mean that we have to share every interest in order to be friends.
@merci322 (29)
• United States
27 Mar 12
I would consider that person an acquaintance, not a friend. And I definitely do not need to share every interest with either.
Sometimes people introduce you to new interests, and that is definitely the best of all situations. However, it's good they were just honest with her instead of pretend to listen.
That's the great thing about the internet- relationships have enough space to not get upset about such a thing.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
28 Mar 12
Yes, sometimes people introduce us to new interests, I think that is a really great thing. Sometimes my friends invite to me to participate in something that I wouldn't have chosen myself because they have different interests. In some cases I discover that I actually like those things and I am happy that my friends convinced me to give those things a try
I also think that it was a good thing that woman was honest to my friend. Many people would just have stopped the emails without a word, but at least that woman told my friend how the felt about it. It possible that she used it as an excuse to end the friendship, but I still think that it is a positive things that she talked to my friend about it instead of ignoring her.
I also think that it was a good thing that woman was honest to my friend. Many people would just have stopped the emails without a word, but at least that woman told my friend how the felt about it. It possible that she used it as an excuse to end the friendship, but I still think that it is a positive things that she talked to my friend about it instead of ignoring her. @KOSTAS499 (1624)
• Greece
29 Mar 12
A true friend is your friend because he supports you. Your interests may be different. I do not find friends through my hobbies.
1 person likes this
@ecaron (678)
• Canada
28 Mar 12
It would be a very boring world if we were all the same, I think so it's good to have different interests. If someone's interests are different than yours , you could be open minded and maybe learn something new, something you didn't know before and that's what makes people interesting and worth being friends with, I think.
@sourabharoy1992 (730)
• India
28 Mar 12
Hello porcospino,
great story of your friend. And really I like it.
Actual i dont think i have to share every interest with my friends. Its may be he/ she very bashful. And its may be our choice is different. And interest also different but I cant break friendship only for that little reason. I enjoy it. And want to try hush up him/ her with my interest.
Nice to meet you. Hope to see you again. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
