.... And you ask "WHY"?!

@rocketj1 (6960)
United States
March 30, 2012 7:55am CST
I DO NOT understand some people. A fellow mylotter has posted about having been physically abused recently by her husband. She really wants to know what to do about her situation. What really surprised me about the comments on her post were that several people actually wanted to know WHY he hit her! Huh?! What an absolutely ridiculous question!! There is NO reason for someone to be abused. Period.
4 people like this
14 responses
@shooie (4985)
• United States
30 Mar 12
I agree that NO one has the right to abuse a person physically or verbally. I will say this if a man or woman hits another and the other person strikes back they deserve what they get. I know this one woman that doesn't live far from us that when she gets mad she hits or scratches or verbally hits her hubby. One time he slapped her back and she was surprised. Men get abused just like women. If you get abused even just once report it get it on record at the police station. There are places to go. Just get out and get help before it is to late.
3 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Yes, defending oneself is one thing, but abuse is another. There should be NO reason to smack someone. No one "asks for it".
2 people like this
@nezavisima (7415)
• Bulgaria
30 Mar 12
I can not understand why many women suffer such a thing. Violence is horrible nshto the best you can do to complain and also this is not a temporary period to allow a man to hit you once, it can be repeated forever. just to avoid these situations and do not live longer with this person. nice day ~!
3 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Thanks for your response! I agree with you!
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12551)
30 Mar 12
... and there is no excuse for it either!!! Hi ya, hows you? All well I hope xx
3 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
30 Mar 12
No! There is never a reason to abuse someone! I am doing well!! Glad to see you
2 people like this
@dorannmwin (36659)
• United States
31 Mar 12
If I recalI correctly, I didn't ask her why he abused her. I simply asked her if this was the first time that he had hit her. The reason that I asked this question was because of the fact that I do think that everyone does deserve a second chance. There is not one single person among the mylot community that has never done something that they regret. My husband has hit me one time in the ten years that we have been together, but I didn't feel the need to leave because I love him and it was an isolated incident. Now, I can honestly tell you that if he ever puts his hands on me again, I will be gone.
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
31 Mar 12
Obviously, you feel that I was commenting on YOUR response to this person. I don't believe it was you at all. Several people asked "Why did he hit you?". If that wasn't you, then I am not referring to you.
2 people like this
@dorannmwin (36659)
• United States
31 Mar 12
I'm sorry if that is what you thought that I meant. I guess what I was trying to say was that not everyone asked why he hit her. The fact of the matter is that the reason doesn't matter, this lady was looking for advice and I offered my advice to her. Ultimately, the decision that she makes is her own decision and there is really nothing that you or I could do to change the decision that she makes.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
31 Mar 12
Oh, I am so sorry that I misunderstood you. You are correct, we can only give advise but ultimately she is the one to decide what to do. I guess that I am hoping that those who asked the question were really wondering "what reason did he give for hitting you" rather than "what did you do to deserve it"? Because if they meant the latter, I'm appalled!
@pergammano (7691)
• Canada
30 Mar 12
I am guessing for a very simplistic view! That view being; YOU must have done something to get this reaction! Always thinking the victim incited this behaviour...a narrow minded assessment, as for some odd reason the perpetrator was "inspired" somehow to violence! Those of us, whom have walked in the real world..KNOW this is NOT so! NOTHING should induce a violent action....and then there are those in the world that love gory details! Been there, had it done to me...a dark place I escaped, never to re-visit..EVER!
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
31 Mar 12
So glad you escaped! :)
2 people like this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 12
me too pergammano it must have been a really dark place, and hope you never re visit it again.
2 people like this
• Canada
31 Mar 12
Ladies...Thank you! Where the BIGGEST part of that problem is; YOU actually begin to believe...YOU deserve what is happening to you...and ESCAPING that mind-set is the hardest part! It's like an addiction...when one sinks deeply into these doldrums...it becomes VERY HARD to believe there is anything ELSE! Thank goodness, for memories, as they keep you sensitive to your surroundings!
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
30 Mar 12
I just so agree with you. No reason at all. It just makes me sick to think of it yet it is so widespread all over the world.Women with low self esteem are the most prone to abuse and it some warped way they think that they deserve the punishment. It s just so awful.
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
31 Mar 12
That's what I was concerned about. I think by asking "Why?" they are implying to the woman that may she "asked for it"! It is so good to see you here! I pray that you are able to get the medical care you need VERY soon! Is your DIL there yet?
@maezee (37740)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Why one commits an act of violence is ... insane. That's just them ignoring the fact that he ABUSED her to begin with - HELLO! There is NO excuse whatsoever that that man could come up with to justify being a wife-beater. No way! As far as what she should do...Leave him! Once he starts I don't believe he will be able to stop. He needs anger management help or SOMETHING. Anyway, that's crazy. Maybe it's a culture thing...But I'm pretty sure violence of any kind is WRONG unless it's in self defense.
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
31 Mar 12
I'm hoping that the question may have meant "what reason did he give you for doing such a thing" rather than "what did you do to deserve it"? Because there is no right answer for that one! No one Deserves it!
2 people like this
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
30 Mar 12
you are right. this person needs to get out of this relationship asap.
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
30 Mar 12
I just couldn't imagine why someone would need to know the reason she was hit! Did they think there could be a logical explanation for abuse?
2 people like this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 12
hi rocket what clods those mylotter were. why is stupid. surely they know women are not for hitting.there is never any excuse for a husband to hit his wife,none not ever.Why were they not telling her how to get to a battered woman's shelter and get help.I cannot fathom any one here asking such a silly question as most here are thoughtful kind people. /
• Canada
31 Mar 12
Morning, MsHatley.. I must say, reliving those days...Some of US, do not have enough of US left, mentally and physically---to climb out of that deep, dark HOLE! You can talk to us, listen to us...until you are blue in the face! But, unless you take us by the hand, and show us the light--we cannot get there, ourselves! We are morally, emotionally and physically busted! We started out with low self-esteem, and what was left...stripped away! It's like an innate sense...ABUSERS always find victims, they are able to sniff out us, with low self-esteem...KNOW how to prey on us..and Voila, another victim! It is a pattern..with both!
@SomeCowgirl (32256)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Have I seen this post? maybe not. Either way she needs to get out, and it's nobody's business why she was being abused. It took guts for her to post that, and now people are ridiculing it by asking why she was hit?
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
31 Mar 12
I agree. Asking her "why" he did it, is implying that she must have given him a good reason. That's so wrong!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 12
Maybe she should leave her Husband, No need to stay in an abusive relationship
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 12
Amerikcna notes theres no maybe about it. she should of course leave him and get the hell out of there, thats a given.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (51137)
• United States
1 Apr 12
Why? I think that that would be the last question on my mind. My first would be, have you left yet?
@savypat (20245)
• United States
31 Mar 12
My answer to you is that we have many people of different cultures here and in some of these the abuse of a wife or child is accepted. Understand that I do not condone this is anyway. Surly human beings should have developed beyone the need for physical or mental abuse of each other. But in reality we haven't .
31 Mar 12
yes,you are right,whatever happens,that man abused his wife that is absolutely not right. i look down upon that man who hit woman.