Captain's Log: I have gotten TOO comfortable being single.

Just enjoy yourself, and do what you like.I did not stay single long enough to get too comfortable. I tended to get too comfortable in being married, now I am doing more fixing up.

"More fixing up"?? Do tell, because you seem like the type of woman that I can learn from. Yes, you are right, I need to do the things that I enjoy and do the things that I like. I had really started to get too into food and eating rather than into other things that are not so obtrusive on/to the waistline. I have been on a liquid diet for the past 12 days, I started April 1, and it is so very enlightening to look around my house and see all the things that I have been kind of ignoring because I have been so busy eating. In lieu of watching DVD movies that I enjoy, or slathering on lotions that I love, or taking long, luxurious bubble baths, I opted for the kitchen, the refrigerator, and eating. Being single to me has pretty much meant, "You can eat whatever you want, as much as you want, whenever you want." Ah, but alas, you live. you learn, and hopefully you grow, right?

I ADORE fragrance! I also love fabrics, nice clothes, jewelry, but one would not really know that about me because in many ways I don't show it. That is what I mean about my becoming too comfortable with my singleness. Just because I'm not with a boyfriend right now does not mean that I "get to" stop taking care of myself the way that I should. Those things ARE in our lives for us to enjoy, I just had put them to the side (everything except the perfume).

Vain about her looks? I didn't realize you two had met!! LOL! She IS a vain one, to be sure, but hey, like my mother used to say, "It takes all types of people to make a world." Not caring about my looks made me feel comfortable until I realized just HOW lax I had gotten. I did not realize that I did not feel womanly until that fact was put on my radar. That is NOT really just me. I used to be into makeup and clothes and looking cute, and over the years I just let that all kinda slip-slide away, and in it's place grew a person that looked like she had NEVER cared about such things.

I'm so mad!! I wrote you a comment yesterday, took me FOREVER to write it, came back today to respond to the rest of the responses, and I what do I see?? the comment that I wrote to YOU yesterday is nowhere to be found!! Like I said, I'm SO mad, but alas, being mad won't solve a thing!!! I think that it is a good thing that when you go out you get dressed nice for yourself, unfortunately I was NOT doing that...TOO comfortable. I realized that I was just enjoying my freedom just a bit too much. Just because you have your freedom does not mean that you abuse it, in any arena; whether it be being single, being rich, being an American citizen. Those things bring certain freedoms, but there should be some standards that one upholds just because. I really do want to be that woman that a man needs, I want to be her REAL bad, but I have a lot of work to do. Not just on my outer appearance, on other things as well. It's going to take time, but its doable. My "tending" is for me. I want to look cute for ME. If I happen to catch some male attention then that is just a nice bonus. My friend that I was writing about, she gets dressed up for the attention. I on the other hand want to look nice for myself, I've been walking around looking like a slob for far too long. I am in total agreement with you about the being more cautious and picky when it comes to letting a person into your life. The wrong person can come into your life and wreck HAVOC. I consider myself like a private school or, a private university. I will not let just anyone in. There are standards to live up to, tests to pass, prerequisites to meet...and you STILL may not get in. One has to be very choosey because it is the wise thing to do.

I really like what you say about if you are used to fending for yourself then you may WANT a partner rather than NEEDING a partner, I like that a lot. Yes, I know that, and I agree. But that being said (and I apologize to all the women libbers out there when I say this...) from my point of view, sometimes fending for yourself is overrated:) I mean, I LOVE the freedom of being single, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I want a man around. Not right now, but definitely in the not too distant future. I do feel like if I start taking care of my appearance that I am being my true self. I have let myself go. And when one says they have let themselves go, that implies that at one time they had themselves "in hand" I guess one could say. People SHOULD accept you as you are, but that only happens in a perfect world, and this world is not perfect. But I want to make my appearance better for ME, because I know that I can do better than being lazy about the way that I look.

For me to be willing to "settle down", it is going to take a VERY good man to come into my life. I like being single so much that I would not give it up just for any ol' body. You are right, there is so much freedom being single, but sometimes I just want a man around. I LIKE men, they are one of God's greatest gifts to us women, but of course it has to be the RIGHT man, not just any man will do. I feel great with my son, but I would not say that I feel COMPLETE, I think that I am the type of woman that will feel complete when my husband comes into my life, but for now I feel CONTENT. It is easy to be single, so relaxing, so carefree, and you can do what you want, when you want. It is easy to get lazy and TOO relaxed and I feel that--that is what I did.