Another step on the road, maybe...
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85137)
Shingle Springs, California
April 14, 2012 12:42pm CST
So today the realtor is coming by today with an offer on the house. She wouldn't tell me what it was. 
R is of the opinion that it will be a total lowball offer. And he calls me negative. lol
In my experience, the first offers are usually the best, and if you wait too long, they go down. Depends on the market, of course, but that's more or less what happened with our last 3 houses.
I was a little panicked, as I haven't nearly made enough of a dent in the packing (new boyfriend 
among other things).
Mixed emotions too. Sad, because I like some things about this house, the pool, the view, the library. But I have to get you know who OUT, so it's going to be good.
If we take the offer, I'll be in a rush to pack and find another place though. Going to do my last 6 boxes today either way though (more coming Monday).
Meanwhile, I'm deciding how to tell the kids about the BF (he's a keeper).
The Swedish friend, not so much. She's informed me that you can't trust black people, in her experience.
R is of the opinion that it will be a total lowball offer. And he calls me negative. lol
In my experience, the first offers are usually the best, and if you wait too long, they go down. Depends on the market, of course, but that's more or less what happened with our last 3 houses.
I was a little panicked, as I haven't nearly made enough of a dent in the packing (new boyfriend among other things).
Mixed emotions too. Sad, because I like some things about this house, the pool, the view, the library. But I have to get you know who OUT, so it's going to be good.
If we take the offer, I'll be in a rush to pack and find another place though. Going to do my last 6 boxes today either way though (more coming Monday).
Meanwhile, I'm deciding how to tell the kids about the BF (he's a keeper).
The Swedish friend, not so much. She's informed me that you can't trust black people, in her experience. 7 people like this
24 responses
@topffer (42155)
• France
14 Apr 12
I understand how it is sad to leave your pool when the sun is coming, but it is possibly also the best season to sell your house, and you seem to have some good reasons to do it. There is also a little panic visible in this discussion. I wish you will tell us more after the 6th box
.
.2 people like this
@topffer (42155)
• France
14 Apr 12
Panic is not the right word. It seems that you were in a hurry when you wrote this discussion -- short sentences and paragraphs, more chopped than usually --, but I am perhaps wrong.
I have possibly missed an episode : it is the first time I read a line about a new bf. I have to congratulate you for the happy end of your online dating stories, though I will miss them
.
.2 people like this
@purplealabaster (22085)
• United States
15 Apr 12
I hope that things go well with the sale of the house. I realize too well how scary it can be to sell your house and make a completely life-altering change, and that is with knowing that you have some place to go once your house is sold, so I can only imagine how much scarier it is having to find a place to live once the house has been sold. I can only tell you that I know you are a strong woman and will make it through this just fine.
Congratulations on finding a great guy as well. Perhaps your Swedish "friend" is just trying to protect you, but it sounds like she is doing it from the wrong mindset. Does she even know this guy and what he is like? From her comment it sounds like she is just judging based on appearances, and we all know that appearances can be deceiving - many of the convicted serial killers look just like "fine, upstanding citizens" not to mention that many of them are white.
Congratulations on finding a great guy as well. Perhaps your Swedish "friend" is just trying to protect you, but it sounds like she is doing it from the wrong mindset. Does she even know this guy and what he is like? From her comment it sounds like she is just judging based on appearances, and we all know that appearances can be deceiving - many of the convicted serial killers look just like "fine, upstanding citizens" not to mention that many of them are white.2 people like this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Apr 12
OH I told her what he is like, she is very close minded that way...
.
@celticeagle (189834)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Apr 12
You sound like me and a good book. I will slow down reading it knowing the end has to come at some point and I don't want it too. Your Swedish friend seems rather closed minded. DOes she have a sad story to tell or is she just opinionated? And different people are different. You sound happy and that is what counts.
1 person likes this
@fannitia (2167)
• Bulgaria
14 Apr 12
Hi, Dawnald, glad to see you here! But what a challenging time for you. I've never sold nor bought a property. My apartment was built with my grandfather's money. It's really big for me and my daughter so I decided to sell it years ago and find two smaller flats - one for living and the other - for renting and have some extra income. It was not a good idea - I learned soon that big apartments were cheaper that the smaller ones. I couldn't get what I wanted and I cancelled my plans.
Fingers crossed you make a good deals! But at the same time you have to find something suitable for you and this is really difficult. Have a good luck!
2 people like this
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
6 May 12
When it comes to buying houses and mortgage payments, I have moved, sold and bought at least six or seven times. I would never put my signature on the dotted line unless I had both the buying agent with a few houses ready for me to look at, and as well have a few potential buyers for my property. You just can never buy a new house without being 100% sure that you have sold the current one you are still living in, and you can't buy a new one you don't like just because you left it so long and now all the good houses in the area have been bought. Sometimes it is best to hold off until the market stabilizes, especially if you have children who are settled in at their school and everything is working well.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
16 Apr 12
Hopefully you had a good offer on the house. Good luck on letting them meet your new BF. I hope things keep getting better for you.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
Good luck for looking for a new place for you and your kids. I know they will missed the old house, but later they will find the adjustment. Be happy with your new boyfriend I know kids will accept that, they love you and they want you to be happy.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Apr 12
next discussion lol if he buys me out they will still have the old house!
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
15 Apr 12
I am sure when this is over, you will look back and think, "I am so glad that's over!!!" I hope you get the best price for your home, it sounds wonderful, a home I'd love, especially with a pool and library..
As for your Swedish friend, I think I missed something, but she is wrong about what she said.
As for your Swedish friend, I think I missed something, but she is wrong about what she said. 1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Apr 12
hi dawnald hope this offer is a r e ally good one f or you and that you can get R to finally realize the divorce is final. I mean with a new boy friend I would think R wo uld get the idea he now must move on with his own life lol.Packing is so tough and moving from a house that was home has to be tough too but you are now moving ahead on your new life and its lovely that hes a real
keeper.Hope your kids will not be upset with the idea of a new
boyfriend. You are due some happiness now in your coming life
and your kids will be growing up and out before you iknow it so having a new man is great for you.I know how hard it is to pack up a house fu l of stuff after liviing there for a long time. I hope your life to come will be a hot happier all arou nd. hugs f rom
hatley.j
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Apr 12
forgot something that 'Swedish friend is a bit nutso, one of the nicest people I know here in "Gold Crest is a black lady and she
is so muc h fun to talk to. you would never k now she has to have
dialysis twice monthly and is waiting for a kidney transplant, I
hate friends who are bigoted. it gets to me for sure.they endup
being exfriends.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Apr 12
I hope the kids won't be upset with the boyfriend too.
btw R, soon as the broker left, started talking about buying me out of the house. All hot air, probably.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
16 Apr 12
Hey dawny! I see that the time has finally come for the big move...But,
the only thing I see from the responses in this discussion is the the
bomb you dropped about the new BF! Everyone seems focused on that part
of the discussion more than then the selling of the house, which I think
was the point of the discussion, so spill gf....You're the one that dropped
the bomb! FYI..My bf of 5 years is black..any questions feel free to PM
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Apr 12
5 years younger, former body builder, has some medical problems, 3 kids, 2 grandkids, nice, accepting mellow nature. Oh yeah, and he really likes me. lol
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
27 Apr 12
Ahhh...a keeper huh? Well..you deserve to be happy and I bet the kids will want that for you too.
As far as the house..I have always heard the first offer is sometimes the lowest and then you can say no..I have to have this much. Make it a number that you can meet in the middle on though.
1 person likes this
@debrakcarey (19887)
• United States
16 Apr 12
A new life, starting over...it sounds so exciting. How are you and the kids handling it? Are you all doing ok? Just me being a worry wart. I'm sure you have things under control. But with all that is going on for you and your family, I'd make a serious effort to slow down a bit and make sure all of this is where you want to be. Once you've done that, ENJOY.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Apr 12
So far so good. Ex keeps throwing curveballs though. The latest is about buying me out of the house...
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
22 Apr 12
It's another step indeed!
The BF I mean. It does say that you've really moved on, and living your life.
I don't know what happened with the realtor, but that is another step too. Specially that you'd really have to finish packing and move out if everything worked out.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
15 Apr 12
Here they go by the highest price so it is a bidding war. AS for the boyfriend, I mm more the marrying kind so you have to consider if you want to be with him the rest of your life. You also have to decide if you love him for the right reasons not because he may be handsome, etc. but have similar tastes, can talk a lot, etc. Similar backgrounds do help. Both my late husband and I came from farming backgrounds, although in my case, it was my grandfather whereas it was his father. But they were close enough. I do think the housing market down there is in deep trouble so you might have to take the first offer.
Say with a pool, why are you selling it? And you only have to walk to the library. Here we have to take a bus and it only opens certain hours.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Apr 12
We are taking it very much slowly, and yes, I do want to be with him, and the reasons are not his looks, they are who he is inside...
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
15 Apr 12
So this Swede doesn't trust Oprah, The President, and Colin Powell? Ok! So your guy is chocolate? You go Girl! if you are happy I'm happy. I hope you get a good offer for the house. It is always bummer moving but this move is necessary! Good Luck.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Apr 12
Divorced, a few years younger, grown up kids, 2 grandkids, lives nearby. Very mellow and accepting and nice so far....
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
15 Apr 12
I hope if you decide to take the first offer on the house R doesn't act like a jerk for about it! We all know here he can be a handful! With the packing I hope your kids will be helping you out by packing their stuff or least trying to do it! That should take a little off you! I hope things work out with the new boyfriend! I Am sure you'll find the right way to tell the kids about the BF!
I Am sure you'll find the right way to tell the kids about the BF! 1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Apr 12
offer was low, counter was more reasonable, but they couldn't go higher...0
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Apr 12
Wow, Dawn! Things really are a movin' now - with the house stuff - and the new bf (wohhhhh, I think I must have missed a discussion somewhere . . . I will need to find it - Mr. Keeper, eh?!). I'm sure things will all work out it the end . . . it's just the process of getting there. We were recently on the other housing end . . . we put in an offer (positive we must have been the first few) and we got it!!! But now we have to think about packing and such again (we only moved to this apartment last year) - but at least it's not terribly far AND from now on we will own instead of having this rent money go down the drain. ANYWAY - keeping you in my thoughts and I hope it all goes smoothly!!!!!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Apr 12
No missed discussion. Was keeping it low key. But he's awesome so far. Offer did not work out. Ex is currently trying to figure out if he can buy me out. Good luck with that!
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
14 Apr 12
Well, my dear friend Dawnald, believe me, if I had the financial possibility, I would buy you a house, to move them permanently, and "carry off the boxes" of this damn country that is Italy!
Unfortunately at the moment, I can not do, but as I understand you have different properties. Perhaps in a not too distant future, keep me informed, we never know that you and I we will be able to conclude a deal very economically attractive.
Greetings from your best Italian friend Alessandro
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Apr 12
Well thank you for the thought anyway.
The offer on the house did not work out. Right now my ex is trying to figure out how to buy me out. We shall see how that goes...
