Should we keep helping friends even if some of them don't return favors?

India
April 29, 2012 7:17am CST
I'm muddled about this issue. I have a few friends whom I help whenever they call for it. However, when I need someone to help, these people are not there for me. The established notion is to go on helping and not expect in return. I don't feel too sincere in helping them when this thought crosses my mind. How would you respond to such a situation?
2 people like this
11 responses
@Dominique25 (9471)
• United States
29 Apr 12
It's sad to see your friends do this. I guess for me I would still try to help them but I would also tell them that when I need there help they are never around. So they better start being available to help me out when I need it. I guess for some people you have to tell them in order for them to see what they are doing or not doing for that matter.
• India
29 Apr 12
True, but then the help that I'll get would be half-hearted and not truly genuine on their part. Also, resorting to this would adversely affect the friendship. Its quite subjective!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 12
I guess it depends on a person's preference. Half-hearted help or no help at all. I think that your friends should be more help and they shouldn't get offended if you say such things to them. As it is the honest truth and you are always willing to help them.
• India
8 May 12
Yes you should, as per hindu faith, you help others without expecting any thing in return, have faith in karma, if you do good, you get back more good, if you do bad, you get more bad; god is there to judge..
• India
8 Jul 12
God is every time with us. He watches us and finds the both the good and bad in us. He will surely help us if you are doing the good ones. Keep doing the good ones. May god bless you.
@ardoy0731 (7302)
• Philippines
30 Apr 12
There really some people who are like that.I do experienced it too but don't stop me to help other people as long as I can.I better help instead of other people helping me.
• India
30 Apr 12
Yes, but after helping a couple of times, don't you feel guilty? Or doesn't something bothers you? Happens with me. A bit of ego comes into play, I guess.
• Canada
30 Apr 12
well for me, if you help your friends don expect any return favors... there are those people that will come to you and help you without any expecting from them.:)
• India
30 Apr 12
Well, that is true. But then, at some point in time, after you've helped a couple of times, those pangs start coming in and the help won't be sincere anymore. That is exactly what is happening with me right now.
@doroffee (4225)
• Hungary
29 Apr 12
Frienship is about trusting the other and confiding in them to be there to be counted on. You yourself know is whether the way they behave falls into friendship category or not. For myself, it would depend on what kind of favour it is and how long they've been doing this behaviour.
• India
30 Apr 12
I would take your cue on what kind of favor it is and how long has that behavior been so. It also depends how that person has been behaving in general. I have a couple of friends who behave well, are a good company. So, I'd treat those things as a return favor for my help. Thanks!
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
29 Apr 12
You don't really help anyone if you are always there to solve other people their problems. Friends/people have to learn how to take care of themselves. Also if they are never there for you quit with it. These are not friends but abusers, people who find it easy you are there to solve everything, people who will tell you how selfish you are if you refuse, that you are not able to put yourself into their position etc etc. We call them: abusers, vampires. Get rid of them, start investing in yourself (all that energy) and you will see what a great life you will have and what great true friends you will attract that way.
• India
30 Apr 12
This happened with me recently. When I couldn't help one of the so-called friends, and he replied "how mean and rude of you!". I felt so messed up at that time and felt like abusing him right away. Thanks for the guidance.
@jureathome (5362)
• Philippines
29 Apr 12
If you're no longer comfortable lending them your hand, then, be true to yourself. But, remember, when you give with your heart, you don't expect anything back. If you feel that they are abusing your kindness, then it's time to look for other friends.
• India
30 Apr 12
I guess so should be it. For some, I can be genuine owing to their nice nature. But for others, yes I would say that is abuse of kindness for me.
• India
8 Jul 12
Friends are the ones who interact with us to help, to love and to have a lot of fun. I have a lot of good friends who have such qualities. As a friend it is your duty to help one from the troubles and along with he must make sure that he do something in return. If they do not, then they are not the true friends. Try to find the one which suits for you, which gives you the best. All the best.
@hgwyneth (120)
• Philippines
8 May 12
Whenever you have the chance to show kindness, don't hesitate in doing so. Even if they don't reciprocate there's someone above who will. I believe if we do something good, let's not expect that someone will do the same to us. However, I observe, whenever I do something good, something better comes even if its not from the person who receive my kindness. It's how the nature works. It's how God works. He always uses instrument so don't be tired in helping or in being good. He repays a hundredfold.
• Philippines
30 Apr 12
I actually don't expect them or anyone to return the favor when I help them with their own problems. But when I voice out that I need them, which I rarely ask from them, they'll come to me and help me out. Maybe you're just really subtle when it comes to asking for help, or maybe they trust you too much because you've always been there for them so they think you can do it by yourself. I'm all ears for them but still, I don't indulge myself to much in their private lives because I don't want them to do the same to me. However, if they are real, true, good friends, even if you don't want them to do things for you, they'll still insist on doing so, right?
@aciek12 (138)
• Indonesia
29 Apr 12
You will get your return favor not from them.. but, if you need something, there will be someone will help you.. God know what you do and will help you when you need something. Just share God love to the other people and they will share it to you ! Good Luck !