my boyfriend doubted my love for him

Philippines
May 17, 2012 1:28pm CST
good morning to all my lotters ., here i go again sharing my never ending story about mu boyfriend ., my boyfriendd keeps on doubting me that my love for him is not true , he keeps on asking if i have someone new., i wonder why he doubted me despite of all the efforts i made for him , i wonder what makes him think about that ., it never crossed my mind to find someone else cause it's only him i love ,,i keep on telling him hiw much i love him , but i guess my efforts are not enough ., i'm hurt right now because he doesn't trust me and he is doubting my love :(
14 responses
@ShyBear88 (42382)
• United States
17 May 12
Normally when a person is like that mostly likely they themselves is hiding something from you. Maybe you should ask him if he is seeing someone else and see how his reaction goes. If he loves you then he should know that you love him and truly do with out and doubt in his mind.
@cttolledo (5030)
• Philippines
18 May 12
You are right, that man's defense mechanism, that is a 99% proven sign that a man is cheating.
@ShyBear88 (42382)
• United States
18 May 12
Some times when someone says someone else is doing something some times it really means themselves. Not always or he just doesn't trust women because of something in the past. Most likely when I guy says his partner is in love with them or is cheating but there is no evidence of this then he is the one doing it.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
19 May 12
I agree with you ShyBear!
@ryanong (9688)
• Vietnam
18 May 12
I totally understand your feeling. Don't be too sad and you also don't need to explain too much this time also. Let your boyfriend a time to get out of that fool feeling and you guy can be back this topic one more time. I think he should think back of what you did and appreciate your love.
@swapmind (355)
• Australia
18 May 12
Doubt is termite of a relation,healthy relation flourish on trust and understanding,when justification are asked and later not accepted it means one need to reconsider the decision.
@ryanong (9688)
• Vietnam
19 May 12
ya, doubting can ruin everything...especially in love.
• Philippines
18 May 12
I believe that when relationship was stained by doubts, it wont work anymore. It will be cycle of question and answer and endless arguments that could lead to hate. If the guy/girl keep on asking about fidelity that means there is something wrong with the relationship or the partner, well, maybe he was in a relationship where someone cheat on him that's why he is acting weirdo and paranoid all the time. If you love him, then you need to assure him all the time that you wont do such thing to him and avoid anything that could increase his doubt, but if you think the spark is not there anymore because of the doubt and stuff, then break up with him while there is still respect and love not bitterness and hate.
• India
18 May 12
Trust and understanding are key ingredients of a healthy relation...he is doubting you means something is fishy on his end...u know you r committed from ur side...u don't have to give any clarification ..if he truely loves he should accept as you are. .may be he is hiding something from you...try to work out on this ....all the best...
• Philippines
20 May 12
I agree with you mindshare, sometimes the boy/girl is a cheater and they just saying stuff like fidelity issue because they themselves is involve in infidelity.
@jennbart (1330)
• Philippines
18 May 12
Your love one should not doubt your love for him. If he is doubting, then he doesnt deserve it at all!
@ryanong (9688)
• Vietnam
18 May 12
Ya, you are right. If still doubting, he will lost his love soon.
• United States
17 May 12
Trust and communication are big parts of keeping a healthy relationship. Could it be that he is reflecting some of his own insecurities of his love towards you by putting it back on you? Ask him if his love is true to you next time he brings this up and ask him to prove it. If he say he can't, say same goes for me and either we trust each other or we don't.
• Philippines
17 May 12
thank you ., yes i already asked him if he trusted me ., but he keeps on saying yes., but still he's acting as if hes not trusting me ., i keep on telling him that i do love him ., haay its very hard to be on long distance relationship ., i hope we'll settle things up
@clocks123 (1226)
• United States
18 May 12
your boyfriend sounds insecure. a relationship is based on trust between both of you. it dosen't appear he has it for you. i would explain to him why he feels this way. if he continues in this thought pattern, i would move on to someone else. the best to you.
@Rasniki09 (183)
18 May 12
Whenever someone protest too much it usually means that they them self is hiding something. If he needs to be constantly told that you love him, there is something deeper going on. The next time he ask you this question, as others have said, turn the table and start asking him some questions of your own.
• United States
18 May 12
Your single then and so is he, in my opinion if one doubts thier love they are not in a real relationship.
@PurnaSharma (2272)
• Guwahati, India
18 May 12
Hi Rashmi ! I don't want to say but also i can't stay without saying,the love between you and your boyfriend is the begining that is going to make you both one.Doubt by one to other means sign of danger in your relation before build up. I have seen too many couples relation that end or finished with break up and even divorced. The relation of both is based on faith and your partner mayn't be entitled of your love by reaping the seed of doubt in his mind,you and he may not be able to survive your relation too far with his virus of doubt. So it is better to be clear cut....
@mikyung (2233)
• Philippines
17 May 12
As I see it, both of you should talk, lay your cards on the table. Be concrete and specific as to what the problems is. And agree on the possible solutions. If he really loves you, he will learn to trust you. This is the essence of loving someone, it is all about trust and respect. Yes, it is easy to tell but for love and trust to grow, both of you should work hard for it. Also, always remember that it takes time for every thing to grow. Don't push yourself too much on this and leave something for yourself.
• United States
17 May 12
People who are guilty of stuff like cheating often act this way. If you know you love him than don't stress out over this. You can't beat it in his head either. Maybe if you stop calling him for a few days he will call you and say sorry. tell him since he feels this way you give up and watch what he does.
@beenice2 (2758)
• Sackville, New Brunswick
17 May 12
Most of the time people that talks like that, is because they doubt about their own self, somebody like that, you can't stay with him he'll drive you coucou.
@HomeBase (1055)
• United States
17 May 12
If someone kept on asking me if I was being faithful to them, that would make me think that THEY are cheating on ME. I mean, if a man is always asking you if you have someone new, to me that means that HE must feel guilty about something. Either that or he is terribly insecure. I don't think that you should have to spend your life trying to prove to someone that you love them, it is just too exhausting.
@WakeUpKitty (8696)
• Netherlands
17 May 12
Your bf is just treating you like a piece of dirt because he has no self esteem and he is not loving you! That is why he puts the blame at you and it is you who has to prove time after time after time that you really love him and are willing to do everything for him! Something he is not willing to do for you at all. You will never win this discussion. He will keep saying the same till you decide to leave. That way he doesn't need to make the decision to kick you out, or to tell you he found someone else or he wants to be free. I would kick him out. You waste your time and energy with him. You deserve way better as being accused for no reason each time by him. He is only making you more unhappy and seems to love to break you. You don't need him for that. Alone you can be unhappy as well.