How would you react if your date doesn't look like their pictures?

@Porcospino (31367)
Denmark
May 27, 2012 10:43am CST
Yesterday I watched a video on YouTube. It was a social experiment, and the topic was dating. The men thought that they were going to meet the woman that they had talked to online, but instead of that woman they met a different woman (a actress hired by the people behind the experiment) That woman looked completely different from the woman they had talked to online and the people behind the experiment wanted to find out how the men would react when they discovered that their date looked completely different from the online pictures. The men reacted in different ways, and it was interesting to see how they handled the situation. What do you think about that kind of experiment? How would you react if you thought that you were going on a normal date and discovered that you had been a part of an experiment? Would you get angry or would laugh you at the situation? Why? Have you been on a date with a person who looked completely different from their online picture? How did you react?
3 people like this
17 responses
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
28 May 12
Hi! It sounds interesting to meet a different person other than whom we interacted on line. It is for sure that a person would behave differently or at least look differently, if we happen to meet him/her off line. I think we should mentally prepare ourselves for it and if we are going on date, we should not keep out expectations very high. By the way, I have had no such experience in the past.
3 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
30 May 12
That it is true, we shouldn't have high expectations when we meet someone that we have only talked to online. It is easy to get disappointed and sometimes people's online personalities are different from their offline personalities. I have experienced that a couple of times when I have met people from the internet. Sometimes we didn't really have much to talk about when we met in real life and sometimes the offline meetings went extremely well and we talked for hours. We never know how the meetings are to turn out it could be a positive eperience and it could be a negative experience, and I think it best to keep our expections down and just see what happens.
@marcmm (1804)
• Malaysia
28 May 12
I never date a woman that I saw their picture online first. The things like friendster, facebook, myspace and other dating sites just didn't exist during my time still looking for girl. So how I check on girls? I chat with them with the good old fashion MIRC chat room. I've actually go for blind date with two of them and exchange phone call. That time there are no texting and not many of us afford to buy a cell phone. I've met with two of tehm because I've enjoy talking with them on the phone even though we've never met. How I react when I've saw them? All I can say, wow... Not as I've expected. They both look fine but in the end I didn't end up with any of them.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
30 May 12
Some blind dates are successful, but in many cases the people who meet don't have much in common or they don't feel attracted to eachother and they never meet more than once. My husband and I met eachother on the internet, and because we met I went on a couple of dates with other people that I had met on the internet and those dates weren't very successful. I travelled to another part of the country to meet a man that I met online, but our meeting was a disappintment. He was a nice person, but I wasn't attracted to him and he wasn't attracted to me. We were both disappointed. We got along so well online, it just didn't work out in real life.
@marcmm (1804)
• Malaysia
29 May 12
I think it is difficult to have a serious relationship after a blind date. I haven't heard a lot of success story about blind date. I know there are some, but not many. Regarding people look different, for me it's okay if the photo is his/her real self but just look better at photo. There are a ot of people look very cute, beautiful, adorable in photo but real life just average.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
27 May 12
It doesn't matter to me at first of course I will be surprise and my I will laughed at the situation. It's our first met and we can try to get to know each other, after that If i don't like him I can stay away from him. And no more second date for us.
2 people like this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
27 May 12
opss sorry for the typo *my* maybe.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
28 May 12
that's wonderful you met over the net. And it was successful that you ended up marriage.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
28 May 12
It is very surpricing to meet a person who doesn't look like his picture. Many people use old pictures like a picture where they are younger than they are today or a picture where they are less overweight than they are today and I wouldn't be too surpriced if the picture wasn't up-to-date, but I would be very surpriced if my date had used a picture of a totally different person. I met my husband on the internet and he also looked a bit different in real life.. He says that I looked a little different, too. My picture was brand new, but he still thinks that I looked a little different.
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
28 May 12
I think I would react the same way with the majority. I don't think the deceiving someone with a different picture should be tolerated. I got into the date because I was first attracted by the way they looked. Now it's different when they're a little older than their photos or chubbier and such, but it's really something else when they show up to be a different person at all. I think I would just walk out. As for the sole guy who stayed, I think he just thought that it was just a date and not marriage and she checks out as someone who's interesting so it's okay. But it would be different for women because we're more in danger when a person lies, what if he's a rapist or something? What if he's just in there to lure us to some dangerous place right? I would truly walk out. As for the experience. Guys never look exactly how they are in photos. I experienced this one when I met my partner. But the difference perhaps is the fact that we didn't meet to have a 'date', it was more of meeting friends from the organization that's why there wasn't any pressure whatsoever about how we acted or even dressed - it's just pure friendship with other people. But I didn't recognize him at all, but he sure recognized me. I guess it's better to go on these dates without 'expectations' else you're bound to be frustrated. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 May 12
Awwww... That's just great! I am now convinced that people could really meet in different ways and still find our one true love! ehehehe.. Indeed, I have also met a lot of people (for friendship as well) and most didn't really look the way they did in their photos. My partner also told me that though I looked much the same way, I look shorter and lighter on the photo. I must admit, I was fond of editing to make my photos look glowing before but I never told him that! hahahahaha... It's good that you found each other. I would have guess what would have happened if there weren't any other way to recognize the person you were going to meet - except for the photo. I guess photos are deceiving in a way.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
30 May 12
You are right about the difference between women and men. Women are more vulnerable than men and we have to be especially careful when it is a man that we don't know. Most men aren't rapists, but we still have to be careful when we meet meet unknown men, and like you say the man could have bad intentions. I met my husband on the internet and he didn't look like his picture either. We had arranged a meeting outside a shop and at first I couldn't find him because there was no one who looked like the photo, but we fortunately we managed to find eachother. He says that I didn't look like the photo either. It was brand new photo, but he still thought that I looked different in real life. Yes, I think it is best to go on that kind of dates without expectations, because it is easy to get disappointed. I experienced that a couple of times before I met my husband, but I am happy that I didn't give up the idea of online dating, otherwise I wouldn't have met my husband.
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
28 May 12
It happens when they do date online first before meeting in person. I know there are many girls who just post nice photos with Photoshop but in fact they are ugly or not beautiful as in the pictures....it is not nice i think. Better honest with ourselves and post some pictures without Photoshop. I think men may disappointed and run away when meet a girl who looks so different with her picture that he saw it before.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
29 May 12
Yes, that is true, some people change their photos in order to look better, and when we look at their photos we don't get a true impression of their appearance. I understand that they want to be beautiful, but I don't think it is good idea to use photoshop. The other members of the dating site might become interested in them when they see the beautiful pictures, but when they meet them in real life they are bound to discover the differences between the photos and the actual person, and I think it i better to be honest from the start. One of the guys from the experiment didn't even enter the pub when we saw that his date didn't look like her picture and I don't think that he is the only person who would react that way.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
30 May 12
Ya, you are right, they should be honest in the start if they really want to date. I see many nice girls in pictures but in fact they are not beautiful at all, i am disappointed about it and now, i have no feeling that they are beautiful when i see the photos revised with Photoshop already.
1 person likes this
@welkin (106)
• China
27 May 12
It's a pity that I never dated someone I met on the Internet.So I don't have the experience.I think I would be a little angry,but I would definitely laugh about the situation.lol... It's an interesting thing to see people's reaction to this situation.I'd like to see the video you recommend,but it's a pity that Youtube can not be reached here in China.None of my dates is with friends online,and I don't think I will have a go.Frankly speaking,I'd like to be a part of the experiment,but I haven't had the chance. Anyway,thanks for your sharing,friend.Have a nice day!
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
27 May 12
Yes, it was interesting to see people's reactions. One man got very angry when he discovered the truth and he ran out of the door and refused to talk to anyone. One man cancelled the date when he saw that the girl didn't loook like the picture and one man liked the actress better than the girl he was supposed to meet and left with her instead I am not sure how I would react if I discovered that I had been part of that kind of experiment. I would probably laugh at the situation when I discovered the truth. I have experienced that situation myself, not an experiment but a date with a man who didn't look like his picture and who had a different personality in real life. Our date was not a success and we only met once.
1 person likes this
@welkin (106)
• China
29 May 12
It must be very interesting to see the man's reaction of running out of the door.lol... Maybe he thought that he lost face in this experiment.:D Frankly speaking,I think people's look is important,though not as important as something like character.I also wonder how I will react if I am in such a situation.Will I continue the date and say goodbye to the girl? Or will I cancel the date as the man you referred has done?I believe if it's my request to date with the girl,whatever the girl looks like,I will continue the date.Then I'll say goodbye to her and may never meet her again.Or maybe her character is so charming that her look is never important in such a situation?However,I really don't know what my first reaction will be in an experiment like that... I also have another view that we'd better not date with someone we're not familiar with,for things like photos,descriptions and so on,can be fake in the Internet,right?I still prefer to date with friends I'm familiar with.:)
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
30 May 12
I also think that people's personalities are more important than their looks. Sometimes it is hard to guess if you will get along in real life if you only know eachother from the internet, so it important to meet in real liffe as well. You are right, pictures and descriptions on the internet can be fake. Some people use photoshop in order to improve their appearance and some people use a picture of a totally different person, because they don't think that they are pretty enough. I have experienced that myself and a couple of the men that I dated didn't look that their pictures at all. When you date friends or other people you are familiar with you don't have that problem.
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Thankfully my hubby didn't send me a picture of someone else before we really met in person. The most hilarious story that I could think of that is like this is with women here in my country looking for foreign husbands and are head over heels over the picture that was sent to them. True enough, the picture is of a young and very handsome guy. But most women tend to forget to ask the real age of their online pals that they are shocked to meet these guys in person and find out that the pictures that were sent to them was taken around forty years ago and their supposed mate is being wheeled around in a wheelchair. I don't like being subjected to such experiments. It's like messing with my intellect and making me look stupid because the people behind this experiment already know that the pictures they send out is no way near the person they will send to the date. It's like being scammed and the producers of this experiment will say that it is just an experiment. But they are toying with people's emotions and that is not a good thing.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
30 May 12
It must be a big shock for those woman to meet the men in person. I can imagine that situation. You look forward to meeting a young and attractive man...and meet a person who is 40 years older than you expected I sometimes read the stories about online dating that we can find on the internet and quite a few people have experienced a situation where their partner turned out to be older and heavier than they were on the pictures. I have experienced it, too. He lied about his weight and a couple of other things. I think you have a point about those experiments. It is a way of scamming people and I understand by some of the people who participated in the experiment got angry when they discovered the truth.
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
27 May 12
some years ago i was on a dating list in a news paper type thing. they would send a pic to the paper as i did. a few times the guys recognised me right away. any how, mant of them i met looked a lot different. as apparently they sent in a pic from yrs before. before they got grossly heavier or older. i dont mind the heavy or older. i do mind them lieing!
@GemmaR (8517)
27 May 12
I can see why they did this experiment, because it is interesting to understand why we seem to put so much emphasis on the way that we look, however I don't think that I would be able to even be friends with the person who had shown me a false photograph because of the fact that I have to trust people who I am going to be friends with, and the very fact that they had lied about what they look like shows to me that they obviously cannot be trusted, so I wouldn't be able to be with them anyway whether it was just an experiment or not.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
28 May 12
There are two ways of looking at this situation. Some people say that appearances aren't important and that it wouldn't be a big deal if their date lied about his appearance. Other people share your opinion and think that is a matter of honesty and trust. I understand what you mean when you say that the person can't be trusted. If they lied about the picture, what else did they lie about? They could have told you other things that aren't true, and I don't think that it is a good basis for a relationship to lie about their appearance. They probably do it because they are afraid that their date won't like their own appearance, but I still don't think that it is a good way to start a relationship.
1 person likes this
@maezee (42003)
• United States
27 May 12
Oh goodness. I would like to see that YouTube video! Sounds interesting. I have not done the online dating thing, and I am a little too much of a wimp to try it. BUT I have heard stories of people who have went on these BASICALLY blind dates with these people they met online -- and I have heard stories about men posting pictures from about 5-10 years ago - who had put on weight and were a little more rough around the edges than they were in the picture. I don't see why people do this. I understand you want a good picture -- but there is going to be SOME questions rising when you look nothing like you did 10 years ago. Ha ha. I'm not sure how I would react. It seems a little silly to put a different picture on as your profile picture or whatever you call it, just because, appearance is sometimes what draws someone in to your profile in the first place. (Sad, but true). I think I would probably laugh it off (to myself) and go through with the date, but probably not see things through with the person (just because honesty is always a #1 priority if you ask me).
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
28 May 12
Yes, some people use old photos in their profiles. I guess they do it because they want the other members to get a positive impression of them, but they can't hide the truth forever, and I think it is better to be honest. They might scare a few people away that way if they are honest, but at least they know that the people who contact them are actually interested in them. I have met men who were different from their photos, and in one case it turned out that my date had lied about other things than his appearance. Our date wasn't exactly a success, and I was disappointed because the person that I met in real life was very different from the person that I had talked to online.
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
28 May 12
The date would be over instantly. First, I can't even fathom the idea of dating someone I didn't know enough about to begin with, to think them worthy to date. I find people who do this... a little nutz. However, if I did meet someone on a date, and I found anything blatantly a lie, that would be the end of the date. To me, dating is about finding out if the other person is worth marrying. If I agree to date you, that means I want to know if you are women worth pledging my life to, and staying with you until the day that I die. If you are deceptive, or don't have a problem with completely lying to me.... well... that pretty much tells me everything I need to know. You are not worth marrying. Trust is EVERYTHING, in any relationship. Without that, there is nothing. So... with knowing you can't be trusted, and therefore not even on the "possibility" list, there is no longer a reason to continue the date. I will politely indicate that unfortunately something has come up, and I will not be able to stay. If they press me, it will indicate that their lack of character is what came up. And I'll go home and watch a movie on Hulu.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
29 May 12
I don't share your opinion about dates with people you don't know, and I have been on several blind dates myself. I have had both negative and positive experiences that way and sometimes it is hard to predict how the meeting in going to turn out when you only know eachother from the internet. Today I am married so I do go on dates anymore. I agree with you about trust. It is the most important thing in a relationship. If I discover that a person has lied about his appearance it makes me wonder if he has lied about other things as well, and I don't feel that I am able to trust that person. A fake picture is a not a good way to start a relationship. It is not that important to me that my date has a perfect appearance, but it is very important to me that he is honest.
@tkonlinevn (6008)
• Vietnam
28 May 12
This experiment is interesting. I don't like a date with a strange person, so, I have never had this kind of dating. But If I'm the man, I'll feel up set and bored, of course.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
29 May 12
I also thought that the experiment was interesting and I was curious to how the men reacted. Their reactions were very different. One of them got very angry and one of them left when he had seen the actress. One man didn't pay much attention to the woman's appearance and he actually had a real good time with the fake date (the actress hired by the people behind the experiment) I have never been a part of that kind of experiment, but I have met men who didn't look like their profile photo. Even my husband didn't look exactly like his photo, and he says the same thing about me.
• Vietnam
30 May 12
I think that almost men will be pleasure if they'll see a beautiful woman, right? :)
1 person likes this
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
28 May 12
First i never happen to meet the situation.But honestly,my brother try to help me a blind date and the guy is his colleague.Honestly,the guy looks ok ,but i do not have the courage to do so.Though i'm pretty regret now.But just flow it,if i meet the situation that doesn't looks like the person in picture.i would defnitely show my disinterest and then never try to contact him the second time.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
29 May 12
Yes, it takes courage to go on a blind date. I still remember how terrribly nervous I was when I was going on blind dates and I felt like cancelling the dates Now I am married, so blind dates are out of the question. My husband didn't look like his pictures and he says that I didn't look like my picture either, but fortunately we were able to find eachother anyway (we had arranged a meeting outside a shop)
• United States
1 Jun 12
somehow, i have an idea that this sort of deception in on-line dating happens more often than not. however, i think it would be hypocritical of these people to resent being put into an experiment, as they were already in a type of experimental situation by luring people in with their false picture, etc. i have not been on a date with anyone like this. my husband and i did reconnect on facebook after not seeing each other for fifteen years, but fortunately, we already knew each other and what we each looked like and who we were. i think not only is it important to consider what the person looks like, but who the person is. this online dating world can be very dangerous and scary.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
11 Jun 12
The online dating world can be dangerous, that is true. We have to be careful when we meet people that we only know from the internet because sometimes people are very different when you meet them face-to-face. I have experienced that myself. I haven't had any scary experiences like some people have had, but I have met men who were nothing like their online personalities. We got along really well online, but when we met in person it didn't work out at all.
@shaggin (71544)
• United States
29 May 12
I watched the video and thought it was going to be funnier. Im glad you told me about it though because it gives me more input into what you mean by your discussion. I think if I knew the guy was who he was supposed to be just didnt look as good as in his photos I would be ok with it figuring maybe it was an old photo but if I knew that the person was fake and used like someone elses photo and got me to go on a date with them then I would call them out on it and get mad.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
31 May 12
I think that there is a difference between an old photo and a photo of a totally different person. If you use an old photo the other members don't get a realistic impression of you, and I don't think that it is good idea to use an old photo, but it is still better than photo of a totally different person. I would find it very difficult to trust a person who used a photo of another person. The video that I watched was an experiment, but it is happens in in the real dating world, too. Some people don't use their own photos maybe because they think that they aren't attractive enough, but I don't understand them. They can't hide the truth forever, and when they meet the person he or she will discover the truth.
@MandaLee (3753)
• United States
27 May 12
The person's appearance would not matter to me. It is what's on the inside that counts. Have a great weekend!
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
28 May 12
I agree that it is the inside that counts. A nice personality is much more important to me than a nice appearance. The fact the person looked different from the photo wouldn't bother as such as long as he had a nice personality, but it would bother me that he hadn't been honest about his appearance. I wouldn't be sure if I was able to trust him, because I would think that he could have lied about other things as well. I have met people who are lied about their appearances as well as other details from their lives.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 May 12
Well, personally, I will be totally disappointed if my date would not be the person I'm thinking of or expecting on how they would look like. But nonetheless, I will still give the highest respect to my date and just try to interact and be good to them. Anyway, I haven't been on blind dates yet.
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@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
11 Jun 12
I think that it is a natural reaction to get disappointed if your date doesn't look the way that you expected. I have been on dates with men who looked nothing like their pictures and I was disappointed. It wasn't only because they looked different because I think that it is the personality that counts, but I was disappointed that they hadn't been honest to me and it made me wonder if they had lied about other things as well. I think that I lost my trust in them. I went on one date with a man I had met on the internet and I after 10 minute I just knew that he wasn't the person I was looking for, but we still had coffee together and talked for a while.