huh? Money again?

@ryanong (9665)
Vietnam
May 31, 2012 1:39am CST
This month i spent much money for many items that were not in my plan. And now, I just paid electricity bills, money for joining a community group, gas, etc and the remain is only $10. It maybe enough to buy food for 5 days when cooking. I am calculating about it because i will receive my salary 5 days later also. Suddenly, I heard a guy's voice who is my neighbor, he asked to borrow $5, he told me that he will pay back 1-2 days later. Huh? money again...i am headache with money now. But i know him...he never pay me 1-2 days later, he did ask to borrow me many times, and he did pay me at least 1 week after that. I am a soft woman, i never ask he pay me back when he borrowed me so that i am so confused now...if he doesn't pay me back after 1-2 days, i will have no money to buy food for some days. What should you do if you were in my shoes?
3 people like this
20 responses
@else22 (4317)
• India
6 Jun 12
To be honest,I can't say.Like you I have been a soft man too.May be I would help him or may be I won't,because I have nothing except $10,a sum equal to 550 rupees,and I have to sustain a family consisting of seven members.These are the days of sky rocketting prices.Rs.550 is not enough for seven persons.So I would perhaps prefer not to lend him the money for I cannot see my sisters,my wife and my kids starving.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
7 Jun 12
ya, you understand me well since you are a soft person too. You do right, in this situation, we should think for us first and then if we can help the others, we do help. Now i learn it...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
7 Jun 12
I do care 4 cats now and they need to eat also...hihii
@else22 (4317)
• India
7 Jun 12
If I have to look after myself only,then perhaps I may be generous enough to lend him money.But if I have to sustain my family,then my family is my first priority.They should not be made to pay for my generosity.
@justinus (1105)
• Karawaci, Indonesia
1 Jun 12
my credit card bill is thousands but I can not pay them, some of my friend owe to me hundreds $ and actually I am a soft person too, when my friend said I can not pay you this month then I can do nothing too, fortunately I still have my family feeding me, thanks to them and God I am still very fat now (hahahaa..)
@justinus (1105)
• Karawaci, Indonesia
1 Jun 12
I don't believe ... I don't think so, I think you do not that bad and only tried to make joke ... but I like it, good !
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
We are soft persons too then i know your feeling when your friend said that they can't pay you now. You are so lucky when you can receive a support from your family. I don't have it...so that i have to face to and solve with money problem myself only. hihihi, i envy you.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
2 Jun 12
Oh no, it is the truth. I live separately my parents since i was 17 when i went to the capital for my studying. I didn't get any support from my parents since i was 23, i live and earn money by myself to pay for my living in here.
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
31 May 12
How about learning how to say "no"? Letting someone borrow from you money and never pay it back with interest is something that I consider as an unnecessary expense. Learn to say no when you see that you don't have the needed resource is not something considered as bad or greedy. In fact, I call it wise or practical and understandable. I cannot say for certain though what I will do if ever I am on your shoes...considering that my neighbors won't even dare to say "Hi" to me. (Oh, they just stare at me as if I had grown another head.) But if I consider one of my classmate doing that to me, I am sure I'll say, "I'm sorry, what I have here is just enough to last me for a day." Hope this helps you a bit! Happy MyLotting!
• Davao, Philippines
31 May 12
I know how you feel. Really saying "no" is quite difficult especially whenever you are taught that saying "yes" is good. An example of this is Mary's "yes" to God's call.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Ya, that's right. Thank you for your understanding. In fact it is easy for me to pity the others also....i think i look like my mom in this point. Hmm, sometime it is not good also...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Thank you for your advice. My weak-point is it and i have to learn to say NO... In this case, i think i should say NO...grrrr ....i have to pass this silly feeling and say NO out loud to that guy...
@adhyz82 (36249)
• Indonesia
31 May 12
just tell him that your money is not enough for you.. i think he must understand your position too
@adhyz82 (36249)
• Indonesia
31 May 12
yes of course he must understand too your situation.. you must refuse if the situation is not good for you it doesn`t mean you are not kind to him but situation push you like that
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
thank you for your advice. Ya, i will talk to him because currently i have to care 4 cats also and it is enough for me and cats during 5 days only.... Money is always a big problem in the end of months...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
Umh... i think so. I should say No to him...Sometime to be too nice is not good also...
• Philippines
31 May 12
I just remembered the song, that's what you get when you let your heart win.. haha..Anyway, you should have weigh things first. Think of the most important for the moment. Would you like to be worried for 1-2 or more days about the debt of your friend and got nothing to be eaten OR not lend the money and your stomach will be served well. Think about this, you've cared much for that neighbor of yours, but you have not think what will be the effect of this to you?? Learn a lesson. Be responsible to your decisions and most especially to yourself. :)
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Ya, it is my problem i think...i do often pity the others and sometime i forget myself. I would like to change it...but it is really hard to change... I get it now, i choose....not lend money and my 4 cats and me can be be served well in next 5 days.I think for him but i have to think for me and 4 cats also... Thank you so much for your advice.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
During 5 days, cats should eat what i eat only. No cat food more. Since i care 4 cats, i am often hungry at night since my part of food is smaller because i feed cat before i eat... I hope everything will be fine in next 5 days.
• Philippines
31 May 12
You're welcome.. :) If its harder for you to change, so better prepare yourself to keep worry every now and then. I thought you have lend your money already. Anyway, I can't imagine how you would make it happen to also feed your pets. It's good to know that you have them. But I think it's kinda hassle on your part now since your budget is so tight. Still I am hoping for the best in your succeeding days!! :) You can do it!!
• Thailand
1 Jun 12
if I were you i will tell him the truth...that you need the money for entire week for your food allowance... So, if you decided to let him borrow a money from you he should pay it on date you have agreed. Otherwise, you will have nothing to eat. Honesty is still best answer for every situation...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
3 Jun 12
You are such a nice person...i know it. I think many guys are the same situation like yours and mine in the end of month also. Money is big headache...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
2 Jun 12
Thank you for your advice. I agree with you too, honesty is still best answer for every situation so that i will tell him about my current situation and hope he can borrow from someone else. Do you often get in a tight money situation in the end of month like me?
• Thailand
2 Jun 12
Absolutely right, sometimes at the end of the month i also ending up borrowing to a friend but then i always ask first if they only have spare money if they don't i could just ask to somebody else.
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
1 Jun 12
Hello there, I don't think you have any confusion. Make it simple, if you have money then lend it to someone who needs. If you don't have enough yourself, then you have to look after yourself first. Just explain to your neighbour kindly that you are tight of money as well. If you lent your neighbour the money, how would you survive then?
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
2 Jun 12
Thank you for your advice. How to say...i am very uncomfortable when ask to borrow money from anyone including my family members, so that rarely i ask to borrow money. I always try to live within money that i have only. You are right, i need to care myself first so that i will say No to him.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
2 Jun 12
Neither a borrower nor a lender be. I would be honest with the neighfor and tell him that you had no extra money after paying your bills. No need to elaborate further. Don't let him use you for a bank.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
2 Jun 12
Normally when i have money, it is not a big problem when he borrows me because i know he is a student. But in this case, i have no choice, i should think of myself and my 4 cats also. For sure, i will say NO to him... It is elaborate because i am a soft person and it is not easy for me to say No at all... Thank you for your advice.
@redhotpogo (4412)
• United States
31 May 12
He's taking advantage of your kindness. You have to say something. My wife is just like this. You have to let him know that he needs to pay you on time. If he doesn't then don't let him borrow again. It's good to be nice, but not too nice. People will use you.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
I agree with you: It's good to be nice, but not too nice.... I don't mind to lend him but i am afraid that he won't pay be back after 1-2 days as he told then i don't have money to buy food later. Not only me now, i have 4 cats also need food. I remember he told like that anytime he borrows me but in fact he pays back at least after 1 week.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
You wife is very kind...and i do the same..i often worry for the others like her. Your neighbor is very bad, why did they borrow money and never return it? they should be ashamed when borrow again while they haven't returned money to you yet. I hate any guy who acts like that. It is really hard to earn money then they have to return it after borrowing. You did right, i think. We should not be soft with guys who like them.
@jambi462 (4577)
• United States
1 Jun 12
If I was in your shoes you should probably say no, I've had a lot of people that have borrowed money from me that I thought were my friends but they only ended up wasting my time over and over again and causing me to lose more money in the end than the money that I had actually loaned them. Once you loan someone money than you have to use your other money to make up for it and if you don't get paid back it's like you are losing twice.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
i am sad when read your story. They are so bad. You did loan money for them but finally they didn't pay it back and you have to get that debt. Better you should keep a distance with them forever.
@sheen13 (567)
• India
31 May 12
Well, nowadays money is a very important factor for each and everything. Now that you are short of money because of that person who borrowed money from you, you should actually try asking him to return the money soon. It definitely won't look good asking him money once you have given him but it is your money and now when you are in need of it, so you have to think and act in a diplomatic way, for sure! You can try waiting for one or two days and see that if he returns you money soon this time. If he doesn't, you should go ahead and ask him about it. If I would have been in your situation, I would have surely asked him to return the money. I would have explained him that I am in need of money and can't go around borrowing money from people. So, obviously I will tell him to return the money soon but I'll also make sure that I sound polite and do not hurt his intentions because asking somebody to return our money doesn't sound well-mannered! :)
@sheen13 (567)
• India
1 Jun 12
Hmmm... you are right! It becomes difficult to ask money in return. I wonder how do those people get the courage to borrow money and then not return it back. Well, hope you get out of this tough time and that they return your money back on time! :)
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
Ya, we can't understand what the hell in their mind. I am ashamed for them. Better we should keep a distance with them... Ya, sometime i am in this situation since many problems rising in my life. Well, it is ok, i don't have a plan to borrow anyone also. I will pass this time soon. Thank you...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
I agree with you too. I feel very uncomfortable when asking to get back money...grrrr it is not easy for me to open my mouth. I lend money many times, not only him, and i never ask to get money back...that's why...they just ignore and some of them never pay me back...And when i am out of money, it is really difficult for me to borrow from anyone...Life is like that...
• India
31 May 12
since you are yourself on a very tight budget, you must refuse your neighbor. I would have humbly said no and would have explained my situation. There is no shame or arrogance in saying no as according the fact that you will suffer a lot in case he is unable to return in 2 days..
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Thank you for your advice. Ya, i should do as what you mentioned. It will be a big problem for me and my 4 cats when he is unable to return in 2 days. Have you ever got in tight budget situation?
• India
31 May 12
this happens all the time during the last days of a month.... From yesterday I am on a very very tight budget.... I spend all my money on tickets for my uncle and I will get money a few days later. so till then I will have to be completely austere........
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Ya, we got the same problem. I tried to avoid this situation ...but finally it still happens... Well, i have to live in tight budget till i have a salary... I hope you can pass this time too.
@viji_v2 (727)
• India
31 May 12
If I were in your stand, I would just lie as I have no money right at that time and waiting for salary to get. It is better to say that lie than to confuse what to do for food in future. And I used to save even few pennies in every month, so it will be helpful to me at hard situation like this. Hope you will manage these five days.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Umh, but i feel pity him also...and it is hard for me to tell lie also... But your are right, i am still confused with my tighten budget so that i can't lend him. I have to think for me and 4 cats also.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
I am silly, right? Ya, i did try since in the begin of month...but finally i am still in this situation. Thank you so much for your advice.
@viji_v2 (727)
• India
31 May 12
Then you have to say half truth as you are waiting for your salary. From next month you have to think about saving for future. It is just my suggestion.
@obey39 (125)
• China
1 Jun 12
hello, my friend.this is a very normal issue in the life.and you will find that there are a lot of things you hope to get it from supermakret, busines center, and so on,among which a number of them are totally beyond your control.As for me,you should have a list of your daily spending.so when you go to buy them, you could firstly check and buy them whom could support your living.And then you will find some strangers normally, who to be against the appeal from sales member's mouth or discount price?you could write them detailedly on the paper. When going home, you should seize time to carefully consider whether you must buy them, are they fashionable or needy?also some daily bills like electricity, water, gas,etc, you could list them on your booknote.And the above will be helpful to your money-saving plan. hoping to get favorable news from you. Thanks
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
2 Jun 12
Thank you so much for your sharing. Ya, i do like that in May, but finally money is gone all since i have some items out of my plan but i still had to pay money for it...i had no choice else with it. My income this time is not high also, that's why i am in this situation. However, it is ok...life is still going on and i live with it. I hope i have higher income next month and i won't be in the same situation more. i wish you a nice day!
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
1 Jun 12
Money money money.. Whenever i hear money, i would be reminded of a song by price tag.. haha IN life, everything needs money and even myself, i've always short of it when it's nearing my next pay day What i hate most is people coming to me for loan during that crucial period of time. I'm a soft person as well and if they have helped me before, i would be more than glad to lend it to them, even if it means i have nothing left. BUt if someone who doesn't pays me on time, they can forget about borrowing if i have barely nothing left
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
Oh, it is a nice song talk about money? what is it name? i wanna to listen it also... I understand. In this case, the best way is i should say NO to him...i don't want to get more troubles about money and some days later when he won't pay me on time. Thank you so much for your sharing.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Jun 12
I would tell him that there is no way you can let him borrow money this time. Honestly it sounds to me as if you know you need to not let him borrow money ever again, atleast not until he pays you back what he owes you. You're having to stretch your money as is, so like I said just don't do it.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
Ya....it is my crazy problem, i know it...better i won't lend him money more...but i still do....i am so foolish. However this time i will say NO to him, hmm, i don't think for him more, i need to think for me and my 4 cats
@bunnybon7 (51319)
• Holiday, Florida
31 May 12
i would definately say no. i only have money for my food and not good food at that its very hard to live on 10 bucks for the week. i would ask him does he expect me to starve instead of him? tell him borrow from someone that has money and food!
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
In fact he is student and money is run out of in the end of month too... Ya, i will say NO to him. Thank you so much for your advice.
@GemmaR (8517)
31 May 12
It sometimes seems that everything in life is about money, and that can be very annoying particularly if we don't actually have any money to spare at the time. I have learned the hard way that you should never lend money to people, because it can cause a lot of trouble if they don't pay you back. I don't have enough money any more to be able to lend things to people without expecting for it to be paid back, so I have a policy now that I won't give anything to anybody. It is a shame that it has come to this, but at the end of the day you have to protect yourself before you think about anybody else.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Jun 12
Thank you so much for your advice. I think i should learn it from you...We have to protect ourselves before we think of anyone else...I will remember this sentence whenever i wanna lend someone money. In fact 2 guys borrowed me long time ago and they never pay back. Currently i need money but one guy borrowed me money 3 years ago but he may not pay back also.... I got lessons...but...i still.... i don't understand myself...i am so foolish.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
31 May 12
Hi ryanong, i guess in that care you need to be honest with him that you badly need it after two days, but if you are still unsure then this time do not let him borrow it...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Thanks for your advice. He did borrow me many times and he often return it after 1 week or longer so that i don't ensure that he will return money to me after 1-2 days as he said. I pity him...but i pity my cats and me too in case we have no money to buy food if he doesn't return money on time... Hix...i feel guilty if i don't lend him money also.
@victorkrish (1614)
• Malaysia
31 May 12
It is really critical situation that difficult to control. I think you should ask your money back nicely even you are very humble or soft. It is will continue if you don't take any action to overcome this problem.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
31 May 12
Thank you for your advice. You are right...next time i will ask him return back online...and this time, i think i won't lend him money...because i am in a strict situation too.