Rights terminated!
By Amber
@AmbiePam (120894)
United States
June 20, 2012 2:32pm CST
A lot of you may remember my discussion about my sister and brother-in-law taking in a foster child and trying to adopt her. The dad was in jail, and even though the mom didn't want anything to do with the baby, they still needed to terminate her rights before they could adopt her. Well, today the rights were terminated! I'll talk more on that, but to have mercy on ADD people who are already to move on, I'd like to know your experience with adoption or foster care. I used to not understand the process of fostering children. Because some people were foster parents, but they didn't adopt the kids. I understand more now.
Back to 'A'. They are thrilled they are getting to start the process of actually adopting. In an ideal world 'A''s mother would have taken up the offer of social services. They gave her a chance to qualify for housing, they offered her schooling, and said if she complied they'd let her regain custody of A. Not only did she not do that, although A spent the first 6 months of her life in a hospital (she was born three months early), the mother never visited her once. So thankfully, A is getting a mom and a dad who are fully ready to take care of her. 'A' will turn one next month, and she is on schedule for a preemie her size. And yes, she is black and Mindy and my BIL are white, but we all feel like blood anyway. I myself made a dumb comment that showed how much I think of her as family. I looked at A, who is obviously not white, and said I bet you have a lot of hair when you grow up because look at your dad's head of hair. And then I stopped myself and was like, duh! They aren't blood! But it feels like she is.
Although I'm excited for Mindy and my BIL, I'm really excited for my dad. He needs something to look forward to in his life (because of my mom with dementia) and I think this will fill a hole in his heart.
3 people like this
16 responses
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
20 Jun 12
Hello AmbiePam
I know that your family is very excited about this adoption process and I realize that much of it is fraught with uncertainties.
I am wondering about the rights of the father who is in jail. Did he voluntarily terminate his rights to the child, or are his rights ignored?
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (120894)
• United States
20 Jun 12
That's a great question, and one I asked about. I can't remember the technical terms to it, but apparently his actions were considered an endangerment to a child, and his rights were terminated. He had the option of fighting the judgment, but he did not.
1 person likes this
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
20 Jun 12
I see.
Thank you for responding on this.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
20 Jun 12
I think its absolutely wonderful. My two oldest grandkids are actually step grandkids....but you would never know it. The first day I met them I asked if I could be their grandma....and they said yes...someone said to me, You can't possibly love them as much as blood grandkids....and I said I love them just as much. You see we might not be related by blood.....but we are related by love!
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
21 Jun 12
a new baby can bring such great joy to a family, I am hoping all the best for your sister, and father
Does your sister have the medical history of the family? This is important info to know
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
29 Jun 12
That's a very good point Winterose! My husband, who was adopted, always wishes he'd gotten his medical history, especially once we started having kids. He'd like to know if there's anything we need to worry about with the kids, such as genetic diseases or whatever. But hubby is nearly 40 and still doesn't know his medical history. Thank goodness so far our children have been perfectly healthy.
@randylovesdar (4932)
• United States
23 Jun 12
That is great that your sister and brother-in-law are adopting a child. There are so many children out there who need to find good homes. I think it is great that your dad will have a granddaughter that he can play with and spend time with. I am glad your family is growing and that you have a niece you can buy things for and spend time with her as well.
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
20 Jun 12
Dear Ambie thats really great news. Thought the rights would not be terminated until somewhere in July so thats wonderful they are terminated now. Will take quite a bit of stress off your sister and BIL about the whole procedure.
How long will the adopting process take now? Hope its not too complicated as the authorities see A is excellent taken care of.
1 person likes this
@syramoon (654)
• United States
21 Jun 12
Yay! I'm so happy for your family. And glad that social services are doing the right thing. Way too many times have I heard about them giving a foster child back to a birth parent that just wasn't fit to be a parent!
I wish you and your family many long happy years!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169479)
• United States
21 Jun 12
You may have felt dumb about the comment, but I am sure it was good for a laugh and that it made it very clear how much you felt like family for this little girl. I hope she is truly the blessing you all need in your life right at this time.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
21 Jun 12
This is fantastic news! I'm so happy for you , Mindy, BIL and especially your dad , grandpa. A is going to be spoiled!! And A does not care that her parents, yes I said Her parents, have a hue problem. they love her and she loves them. Anyone in this day and age that Has a problem can take a flying F@ck at a rolling donut! PM me with A's birthday.I am so curious.
As for the birth mother, she probably never wanted the baby. Or she was so upset because he man was in jail she didn't take care of herself as she should have or even would have if he were out! Or worse once A was born and wasn't 100%, she just didn't want her. In any case A wasn't meant for her but for Mindy and BIL! I am sooo happy for them!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Jun 12
That's great, another step towards having A in the family. I am sure this little one will brighten everyone, including your sister..:)
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
20 Jun 12
that is wonderful. im so happy for the child especially. every baby needs a loving family like yours to develope properly. and i can see your dad needs a grandchild to hold on to for comfort. they need each other for sure. @OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
21 Jun 12
I think this is great! Coming from a family with many adopted people I know what you mean about her feeling like family. We all laugh becasue my cousins son looks more like him then his daughter does. He was adopted she wasn't (they tried for seven years adopted and found out they where pregnant a few months later) the second daughter (the boys biological half sister) also looks like one of us! People comment all the time about him looking like his dad though
My Aunt was adopted but she was much older, she and her 4 siblings where removed from their home when she was five. She could totally see the difference in growing up in a good family. Much kudos and congrats to you and your family!
My Aunt was adopted but she was much older, she and her 4 siblings where removed from their home when she was five. She could totally see the difference in growing up in a good family. Much kudos and congrats to you and your family!1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
20 Jun 12
That is good to hear. I hope this does help your dad out and make him feel a lot better. A new child in the family is always a wonderful thing.
1 person likes this
@asheets88 (124)
• United States
19 Jul 12
aww what a happy ending story :)
This is touching.
Congratulations to your and your family and a special congratulations for the baby girl that finally gets a family that cares for her. I hope all goes well.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
21 Jun 12
I think it's good that finally that baby has a family to love him/her. I'm just wondering what would happen in the future. Anyhow, I'm not against adopting someone but there have been many stories of these kids being 'trouble'. But I sure hope that the love your family is willing to give is enough to make him/her feel that she/he is indeed fortunate.
I sure hope that people who are not ready for a family would stop bringing out babies in the world - it'll be less confusing that way.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
@AmbiePam (120894)
• United States
22 Jun 12
Usually the kids who have been adopted who have been "trouble" are those who have grown up in a bad home. That is why so many people want babies. They don't have to worry about that because the baby hasn't had time to be "messed up". And 'A' has not had time to be messed up. She spent most of the first part of her life in the hospital because she was premature, and now she's in my sister and brother-in-law's home. She'll turn one next month. There just hasn't been time and chances for anyone to already screw this child up (thank goodness).
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jun 12
hio ambiepam I am glad your father will be given something to look forward to too as I realize how hard it is to live with a person
who has dementia. my roomie is not as bad as your mom but she
keeps loosing more and more of her memory and making wild statements
all the time. I try to be helpful but I have my limits too.
she made a big thing of getting money from her account on money
day. and when she was called she came back saying "was I supposed to ask for money?" well I was sure Jenet had given her some money so suggested she look on her purse and it was there. She now just does not put things together in her mind. happy days for your sister and brother in law. good luck too. hugs from hatley.
1 person likes this
