I Will Be Your Friend...If I Gain Something From It!

Not just friends but family too. It seems they are right there when there are gifts and holidays but when you really need the help like during a natural disaster they are no where to be seen.

I think that my social anxiety has a bit to do with this very situation. I just don't want to deal with people anymore. I have a good friend(my BFF) and some friends online and that is all I need. Like you said people are out for themselves now days and I just don't care to deal with them. Sad because I am a pretty neat person and they are missing out. Hehehe

We can hardly gain new friends nowadays. Believe it or not, people now are always into something, and a lot actually gets to know you with the intention of getting something out of your friendship. We should really be careful getting close with anyone... =)

oh yeah I know loads of people like this!! a friend of mine who was a best friend, like a sister.. suddenly stopped hanging around with me when I got into a relationship.. I couldn't understand why until I realised, it's because she didn't have a place to stay anymore when she was partying!

Friendship? I expect nothing material in return... I just want real friends... If they expect for something, it is sorry for them!

I will tell you, I have been fighting this for a long time. Regarding friendships, I do not believe in the 'earning factor'. I give of myself freely, because it feels good. However, it's becoming increasingly common for people to wish to profit from everything. now, they are seeking emotional profit. They only wish to have anything to do with anyone if they is something in it for them. Is it perhaps, the fact that we must learn to network for our survival? Perhaps we are so trained to network in order to make a dollar, that we are seeing everything in that manner. It's technical term is reciprocity. I do not like it, I do not practice it. I will continue to be good to each and every person I meet. That is the only thing we can do, is to not turn into the cruds that we meet. I will continue to give freely what I can give to them. They are toxic, and toxic people just have to be left from your life. Just leave the toxic people behind you. It's healthier that way. People are not a means for profit, my hard work is. People are to have relationships with.

Wow! this one is very interesting!Actually i met someone just like day way back 3 year ago, but the difference she never told me exactly those words that she will be my friend if she gain something from me.. during those times I am noticing that if I don't have anything to offer her, she will not talk to me or calling me. but if she knew that I have something to give her such as money, or anything, wow, that's the time she'll come with me everywhere I go, then finally I got mad and I confronted her about those issues, she told me exactly those words that you mentioned and I told her, I don't want to see her face ever!

It seems that is the way a lot of people are anymore. They only want friends when they need something. If that is how they are, I don't want to be friends with them.

I have my share of this type of friends and it definitely is something to feel disgusted at. I feel abused and the feeling is not good at all. I guess it is really hard to find true friends when you are in a good situation because the true ones only remain when you are so down. These will be the friends that will extend their hands to pick you up and help you to your feet and walk forward in life.

I know what you mean. I have one really good friend who doesn't expect a thing from me but gives me so much...in return I also give her little gifts etc when we meet up....which is only about 3 times a year...inbetween though we sometimes send each other little gifts of appreciation etc...other then her.well it's slim pickens for a real friend.

You know the best friendships are when we are kids - we have no complicated minds, and we are innocent those days. So the friendships which happen then, most cases, chances are that they do not get started because of the "Gain or loss" thing. As we grow, we all need more - lust, greed, anything and as long as there is no Gain from anything we are NOT to do it - Materialistic outlook. It is everywhere and there is no way you can escape. And also, there are high chances that you and me too might have started out with some friendships only for some gains. Feel sick - yes, of course I feel hurt when someone uses me and then discards, but then each time that happens, I promise myself - Sidy, now you know better how hurting that is, so better do not hurt others. Do NOT make friends as you would always be having a chance - when people would misunderstand you

I really understand what you mean people just want to take advantage of people nowadays and I myself end up closing up, but I think that's just my mental illness kicking in there. I used to be that kind of person, selfish and taking advantage of people as much as I could until I started to feel dirty inside whenever I received something. So I did a lot of thinking, changed my way, and even now because of my past I won't easily accept something, it's very hard. I'm learning to be gracious, but most times I shut myself away or I'll give generously to people. But one thing I don't do is to get into a financial relationship with anyone, I've even backed out of a financial relationship with my husband's mother, even though she's been generous with me I still don't want her money anymore.

Yes I know people like this and one of them is my evil ex. LOL. I cannot stand people like that either. If they cannot be my friend then I don't need them in my life. I have a best friend for many years and he never ever looked for anything in return for my friendship. We both think alike when it comes to everything. Even some people in my family are those kind of people that want something from you. And my girl friends brother is probably the worst one. He always is looking to angle for something. She only hears from him when he is gearing up to ask her for money.

What would you say real friendship is? Is it not a relationship of giving and getting? Sounds pretty valid. I do know what you're saying though. They must act like it's more special than a plain give and take negotiation, and a you give me attention I give you attention, you pretend to be interested in my conversation and I pretend to laugh at your jokes... no wait, that's terrible. I never can laugh at people's jokes. It's something I'm not good at acting. Laughing at people's jokes when they're not funny, not stupid either but not funny, is a talent that requires skill. But it's a completely different thing when you feel used. Have you ever felt used? Must be cuz that's probably why you're writing about the topic. Feeling used is horrible. I've had that a few times, and now I'm grown enough to know I'm not going to let it happen again.