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@daeckardt (6237)
United States
July 8, 2012 1:34am CST
I guess I am posting this here because it is not so much cancer related but more a matter of life in general... First off, I am not sure what the last thing I posted was so I will just go back to the last time I was in the hospital last month... I had a chemo treatment around June 4 and they gave me a neulasta shot to help with my white blood cell count. The last time they had given me that I did wind up in the hospital a week later and this time was no exception. I had stopped by the emergency room for some reason on the 8th and I was sick all weekend and went into the hospital on the 11th. While I was there they found pulmonary emboli in my lungs. I have been on oxygen and blood thinners since then... June 11 was supposed to be my break week from chemo anyway so it was no big deal that I was in the hospital. But I wound up having to drop my class because the instructor was refusing to take any more late work from me. Oh well...I talked to my academic adviser and did the paperwork to have a 6-week break from school and to get a tuition credit when I do repeat the class (I had completed over half of the class 4 of 6 weeks). I just hope that my health condition improves enough by the end of the month that I can work unimpeded in the remaining three classes to complete my degree. It should be done by early December unless I need additional breaks. I got out of the hospital June 15 and as soon as I got home the oxygen equipment was waiting for me. This is the second time I have had to be on oxygen and I hope it is the last because it is a royal pain! The weekend went well, but then I had an appointment for my next chemo on the following Monday (June 18). At that point my white count was still low. I was really concerned because my ankle was really swollen and the nurse taking care of me reported that to the doctor. I wasn't able to get chemo, but I was told that if my red count kept going down I would need to get another transfusion the next week. On June 25th I was told that my white count was STILL low and that was the first time that had happened to me. I was so sure that the treatment would take place since usually it only takes a week to get back to normal. It wasn't a totally wasted day because they gave me a liter of fluids but they also scheduled me to come in the next day to get another two units of blood. They also decided to do an ultrasound on my legs to make sure there were no clots there because the swelling in my ankles was getting worse. Last week I went in again and they just gave me more fluids because they said my creatinin was high (at least I didn't need more blood!). They had the NP come down and check me out and scheduled me to see the pulmonary doctor at the end of the week. That appointment had originally been scheduled for August 20! That would not have been good at all! I went to the appointment on Friday. The doctor listened to my lungs and then another doctor came in. They told me that it could be one of two things...I either have an infection or I have heart failure...I think either one of those would not be good, but based on the swelling I think the latter is more likely. They did an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) and I should have the results of that on Monday. Also on Monday, they will be taking a fluid sample from my lung and in the afternoon I am scheduled for chemo again but in light of these other issues it may be delayed yet again...we will see... Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to make sure I got everything in. I hope everyone else is doing well! Have a great weekend!!!
2 people like this
7 responses
@AmbiePam (86132)
• United States
8 Jul 12
Man oh man I am so sorry. And on top of all that your instructor is pretty callous not to work with you.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (86132)
• United States
8 Jul 12
And I just saw the response above me. I have full faith that you have mental confidence, but I think we all know that doesn't cure cancer. I'm sorry when people do that to you. Make it seem like you can control it.
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
8 Jul 12
I'm glad that you understand. I think that I do have some mental confidence (at least my brother tells me I do) since he always tells me he doesn't know how I stand it. I think the hardest part of seeing messages like that is that I almost feel like people are trying to get me to change over to their belief system. I do know that there have been times when people supposedly were cured because of their beliefs, but I don't think I should give up if it doesn't happen to me. Have a great week!!!
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
8 Jul 12
I totally agree with that. I don't mind people saying something in passing, but some are so insistent that it is absolutely irritating! I guess that is why I avoid any people who try to "push" their faith on me.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Jul 12
I am praying for you and know even when things might not always be going the best God is in control. We may not always understand and always asking questions but in time it will be worth it. Just remember that you and your health is important and should always come first. Wishing you all the best.
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
4 Aug 12
I do know that I am not in control of everything, much as I might like to be. I'm sure things will start going better for me if I just keep trusting that it will. Thanks for responding. Have a great weekend!!!
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
8 Jul 12
darling, iam sure praying for you still. the best thing is you are keeping yourself as positive as possible and so doing your best to keep yourself going. I admire you so much, i cant tell you how much! I wish i had your spirit and ambition for everything. im just so amazed. myself i complain so much about my lot in life and here you are so courageous!
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
8 Jul 12
I wish I felt half as courageous as I sound to people! But I'm sure you've heard the saying "when the going gets tough the tough get going" I think that describes me perfectly. I have always minimized my accomplishments, but after telling people some of the things I did in the past, I could see why they were always amazed. I just do what I can and hope it is enough (to me it never feels like it is). I am the same way with health as with every other aspect of my life I guess... Have a great week!!!
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
8 Jul 12
My dear daeckardt, I'm so wondered that in your such serious health condition you posted a long discussion. It is amazing that you have not loose your courage. A courageous person can't be defeated. I'm sure you will win against cancer. I appreciate your patience and bravery. My best wishes always with you.
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
8 Jul 12
Thanks for your kind comments! If I would have kept up on things on a regular basis, I would not have needed to make the post so long. I just had a lot to say and I feel a need to say it all at one time. There have been times when I was getting down and then my brother sent me a link to the song "look on the bright side of life" from the Monty Python movie. I didn't care for the video attached to it (all the men on crosses) but the message was a good one. I do hope that thing start going better for me soon because I'm really tired of always feeling bad! Have a great week!!!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
11 Jul 12
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of these medical issues in addition to the cancer treatments that you are having to go through. As far as the issues that you are having with your other organs goes, I know that there are many specialists that can help a lot with those kinds of issues and I hope that you are able to see a specialist that will be able to help you with those issues as well. I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
13 Jul 12
Thanks for you response and sorry for the delay. I have been in the hospital since Monday and yesterday I didn't get online at all. Today they did another CT scan and gave me another two liters of blood (that is 8 in as many weeks!) and I have no idea where it is all going! I hope things are going well for you! Have a great weekend!!!
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 Jul 12
Heck! I always fail to understand why the doctors have to make things more and more complicated for us. Sorry to start this way but then I too have had my bad days quite recently. They did some scans (ultrasound) but would not tell me what they find. Instead they refer my case to some other guy who says - this MIGHT be stones in the Gall Bladder! It is then that I get to see the reports and the findings clearly indicate I have 16 of these stones in the Gall Bladder and a few smaller ones on the kidneys. Now if I could read that info clearly mentioned and written on the Report, why did the guy had to add "MIGHT"! Oh, I am already suffering from Ulcerative colitis that seems to have exxagarated this time and there is rheumatoid arthritis which has restarted surfacing due to the rains here... Now the excuse of the doctors for all this is - the Arthritis is a side effect and a sister illness of UC and the stones are the results of prolonged medication! Ihave been on medication since 2000, home confined since 2008. I pray for your quicker and faster recovery and do hope that the results of the echocardiogram do NOT complicate matters for you and your path to recovery. Take care
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
8 Jul 12
Hi thesids! Thanks for responding! I agree with what you say. and I really don't understand why doctors have to be like that. I saw this guy for the first time on Friday and I knew (without the tests) what he was going to suggest I think. It didn't really surprise me when he said one of the possibilities was congestive heart failure...something I had learned about in EMT training many years ago but I thought would never happen to me. Based on the swelling in my ankles and my past knowledge of the subject, I'm pretty sure that is what is going on. I just hope they can get things back under control really quickly because I'm tired of feeling bad all the time! I hope things start going better for you as well! Have a great week!!!
@devi53 (347)
• India
8 Jul 12
Don't be depressed all illness will be cured with the mental confidence. Don't give up GOD IS WITH YOU HE WILL LOOK AFTER ALL.
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
8 Jul 12
I really do try to not be depressed. When I talked/chatted with my brother last week, he sent me a link to the song look on the bright side of life. I never did care for the video that was attached to the song (all the men on crosses), but I agree with the intended message. I just hope I can always remember that and not need to be reminded constantly about that. Thanks for the response!