What do you argue about?

@GreenMoo (11833)
July 30, 2012 6:32am CST
What do you argue with your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend about? I was reading earlier that the three main things that couples argue about are money, chores and how much time they spend together. Those things don't seem to apply to me. We argue most about food!
7 people like this
19 responses
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
31 Jul 12
Well then I guess I am lucky with my girl friend. We do not argue about those things. I used to argue with my evil ex over money all the time. She is a hoarder of money and a real cheap person. But that is in the past now. But with my girl friend, we blend together nicely.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
That's good to hear. I think it's normal for couples to disagree, but it's not good when the same arguments come around again and again.
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@GreenMoo (11833)
3 Oct 12
I'm not sure Inertia. My kids don't have ANY TV, cable or otherwise, and I don't think they suffer too bad. But there's more to it than just having or not having. My kids don't have TV because there's other things to do and we don't like the sort of rubbish that's on, not because we're too tight to pay for it. I think that's the point you're making. I wouldn't want to go without internet either. It's something I'm happy to spend my money on as it connects me to the world outside.
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@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
27 Aug 12
You're right. And thats the way it used to be with the evil ex. I don't know what it was with her and money. But she has loads of money and hardly spends any of it. Look, I save money myself, but if I need to get something or get something for my kids, then I will spend it. And I like to live comfortable as well. I will not do without TV or internet. But the cheap evil ex will. And the kids have to live without air condition and cable TV. Thats hard on kids.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
30 Jul 12
It is true for me, what you read. The reason for arguing about money is that when the money are not enough the woman always try to spend them the best possible way, men usually are not very wise spenders. Me and my boyfriend we argue, because I don't feel like he helps me with the home work enough. He has no responsibilities at home, such like cooking on the grill, throwing out the garbage, which is annoying me really much. All of the time I have to say - you could clean after yourself. Sometimes we fight when there is no money. I feel like sometimes I want to be changed and I would love he to be able to pay the bills with what he does, so I can take a break and relax instead of worry about when something has to be paid and trying to make the money myself. People who work outside for a salary has at least their weekends free. Workers, who work for themselves online must work every day, doesn't matter if it's weekend or not, it's your own choice.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
30 Jul 12
I never told that someone is better or worse with money. I am saying that we personally, are having this issue. We work as a team, but because I have more chances to make higher amounts, he is always expecting from me that I will cover the higher bills such like rent. He is making good money, but the website where he works is working little slowly and he has to wait his money to be freed of his website for 12 days. So it's a big delay and he always expect that I will meet the higher bills just because I have good chances to cover them. Sometimes I would love to be able to work free and relaxed without making myself stressed of his expectations. I am not a money machine. That's what I was trying to say.
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
I'm sorry Suggar, I misunderstood 'The reason for arguing about money is that when the money are not enough the woman always try to spend them the best possible way, men usually are not very wise spenders' and took it to be a general comment. I think it's natural for couples to argue about something. It's interesting to me that so many couples have money as a trigger point as it's never been one for me.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
30 Jul 12
Just he wants bigger things, like ... buying something new for the flat we use or buying tools for repairing it. I am more focused at keeping the money we have for food and urgent expenses.
• United States
31 Jul 12
Would you believe me if I told you I never argue with my guy? We agree about 95% of things and the other 5%? We don't rehash.I'm prying but I need to know. Why do you argue about food?
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
31 Jul 12
Food wise, hubby does not eat pasta, do not know if it is psychological or physical but it makes him throw up, except for my lasagna, which is not boiled and is whole grain. He can smell boiling pasta and get sick. Likes all the other part. He is a dandy cook himself so that is not a problem either. He does not like barley, but I will have it in soup anyway, he can pick it out. Love potatoes any way they are fixed and eat lots of beans. I feel sorry for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jul 12
It is not about food , it is him thinking you put everyone else Before him. He assumes if you really love him, you would cook what he likes. Wrong. you love him but you can't afford it! I'm a picky eater too. I can look at something Everyone else would love and say yuck I', not eating that! But what I do like to eat I can fix in an oven or microwave.Plus this can also be that husband thing , he expects you to cook for him, you know ' Woman's work!" Well he better learn how to use a can opener!
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@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
I'd believe you. And I'm pleased for you. Don't worry about prying. I asked for it for bringing it up! There is a long list of foods which my partner won't eat. Sadly, most of them are 'bulk' foods which make up the cheap body of a meal (beans, polenta, most grains, potatoes with skins on .....). Bearing in mind that I cook for large numbers, 17 I think today but it was 35 last week, I can't afford NOT to use these things occasionally. Neither have I got time to cook a separate meal for him. I think he could cook himself something if he doesn't want what I've prepared, but rather than doing so he storms around grumping and is insulting about what I've spent time and effort making. The day before I wrote this discussion he referred to the meal I'd made, which everyone else ate with no problems, as being 'disgusting' and 'rubbish'. So you don't want it? Then don't eat it. It doesn't mean it's disgusting, it's just something you personally don't like (it had barley in it, in this case). There's plenty of other things to eat in the house and you're perfectly capable of operating a tin opener (him obviously, not you!!).
2 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
30 Jul 12
How do you argue about food? I wouldn't really say those things apply to us either. I sometimes nag him to help out more, but we don't argue about it. Occasionally we'll fight over time spent together, but that's more or less him saying I'm on the computer too much and me saying he plays his video games too much.. but those are not major arguments and they're rare. Our arguments are more emotional and personal. We don't argue over any particular thing.. we more or less fight over our attitudes. We both get too sensitive sometimes which causes fights, we both get too irritable sometimes so that causes fights.
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
Easily! I have to cook for big number most days, and that means that I don't always cater to his tastes. I think that he should either put up and shut up, or cook for himself on those (rare) occasions. He thinks it's a personal insult when I serve something he doesn't like but I really don't have the time nor the money to always cater for him or to cook special meals. He wants to peel all the potatoes for instance, but when I'm cooking for 35 and he's the only one who wants them peeled I figure that he can peel them himself if he's going to be fussy. Yesterday night I served a dish which he refused to eat. He could have cooked himself any number of other things but decided to storm about instead, even when I offered to make him something else, and went to bed hungry. Then he got up at 4.30am to make himself something, waking me up when I'd already been woken at 2.30am by our youngest. I then had to get up at 6am to make breakfast for the volunteers and he went off in another huff when I asked him to take over the first part of the day as I was knackered. It's not been a good day!
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@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
It's really hard pleasing everyone all of the time, so what I'd like is for everyone to compromise. My youngest is starting to be a pain about food now, and I'm convinced it's because he sees his Dad kick off and get away with it. He refuses to eat at dinner time then announces that he's 'starving' just at bedtime. On the one hand I feel I ought to send him to bed hungry and teach him to eat dinner at dinner time, but on the other hand it's always late at night and I'm never in the mood for a fight.
• United States
30 Jul 12
What a grump! I can see why you'd argue about that. I'll admit we've had a couple of food fights over the years. The problem is neither of us really want what is made every night. We like to go with cheap and easy since both of us are working, and we need to ensure we have enough to feed all the kids. A lot of times that means spaghetti, mac cheese, fish sticks, chicken nuggets, etc. I don't like any of that, and neither does he. I always try to have other things on hand, especially nuka meals for us to eat on nights we don't want dinner. But in the early years we did fight about it because I'd want to ensure he got something he liked, which would usually mean I didn't like it. We have very different tastes.. I prefer chicken and veggies while he'd rather have steak and potatoes. So I tried to find something we'd agree on and he got tired of it. Eventually I gave up and went with nuka meals to make him happy! LOL
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
We argue about the smallest things, like what time to meet, where to eat, and others. We're just starting out so it's not a surprise for me. Although, with my previous girlfriend, we grew so mature that we let these things go with a heartbeat. We knew where the senseless argument will lead so we just let it be and move on.
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@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
Appreciating how senseless an argument is is a sign of maturity. I find myself going down the same path over and over and it is just stupid and pointless.
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• China
30 Jul 12
That is just what we argue about.Tastes differ.My wife is fond of salty food .I am just the opposite.When she is cooking,I always say "go easy on the salt in the dish",however nearly every dish is still too salty .
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
Well I am glad I am not alone, although I don't like to hear of anyone arguing really. Our problem is that there are certain foods my partner refuses to eat. Normally I cater to his tastes, but unfortunately those are staple 'bulk' cheap things which it makes a lot of sense for me to serve occasionally when we are catering for large numbers.
@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
I was referring to things like beans, potatoes and polenta which make up a large part of a meal. He eats potatoes but insists on having them peeled. He won't eat beans or polenta at all. We grow our own potatoes and some beans, but polenta I buy in. These are things which make up the basis of many meals, either as a hot accompaniment or as a salad.
• China
31 Jul 12
I think you partner could make allowances for you,because you prepare meal for so many people every day.Would you tell me if "staple bulk cheap" means you buy staples in bulk so that you get them at lower price.
@wolfie34 (26770)
• United Kingdom
1 Oct 12
My partner and I used to have some real heated arguments and looking back they were kind of trivial! The arguments? About watching television, my partner in my opinion would watch real crap on television and it would irritate the hell out of me, they liked Jeremy Kyle and the reality programs, big brother etc. and I hated them. It would drive me cuckoo listening to the rubbish they watched and yet my partner would slate me because I loved watching soaps, period dramas and quiz shows! We could never agree to disagree, in the end I got my own television and went in the spare room out of their way!
@GreenMoo (11833)
3 Oct 12
A second TV sounds like a sensible solution under the circumstances!
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
We don't argue very much because when I am mad about something, he makes a joke out of the situation. Sometimes I let it go, or I laugh, but sometimes I get so annoyed with his inability to be serious that I would just snap. His messiness is one issue. I would find his socks everywhere in the house, except in the right place. As I picked up his socks on top of the dining table I said 'I hope one day I will be able to see your socks where they should really be!' He asked about where the dirty socks should be put, claiming he didn't know, and acted surprised when I told him he should put them in the dirty laundry hamper. He also has this bad habit of not flushing the toilet. When I walk into the bathroom and see the toilet unflushed I would scream out his name and he will come running saying it was not he who used the toilet but the cat! He will then proceed to lecture the cat about flushing the toilet. He is messy and I am always picking up after him and when I try to talk about it he starts making jokes. He is good with his chores (the kitchen is his, he cooks, washes the dishes, etc.) but he can't do the simple things that I ask him to do to try to keep the house clean and neat.
@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
I also fight a running battle with socks. They seem to spread into the most obscure corners. I could actually cope with the socks, if only the washing fairy could find them!
@p1kef1sh (45681)
2 Aug 12
In the distant past we have certainly argued about money, or the lack of it! But these days we very rarely find ourselves in a position where we raise our voices or go off in a huff. Inevitably one of us either gives in or compromises. Maybe that's why in a time when one in three marriages end in divorce we are still going strong after nearly 26 years. That and the fact that I know my place!
@p1kef1sh (45681)
3 Aug 12
Having read back through the thread I can see that the issue is the fact that you made what he doesn't want to eat. I would have thought that the answer lies in using his own hands. I am very fortunate because I elected to follow a particular dietary regime and the boss is happy to accommodate me. In fact often when I suggest that I might cook she firmly rebuffs me. Her view I think is that it is her kitchen and whilst I am allowed temporary use of it when she's away; but when she's home it's hers! The kitchen is where you will find most of the things that form part of her domestic routine. Her radio, magazines, telephones etc. I hope that you can sort out your differences.
@GreenMoo (11833)
3 Aug 12
Arguing about money does not create more of it, so seems a wasted effort to me. But arguing about meals, as we do, probably seems peculiar to anyone who isn't in our shoes too. We have underlying communication issues which we need to get to the bottom of. We both recognise that, but struggle to change.
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
We argue about raising our child. His way of raising his child different from mine so sometimes we argue about it. He's ill-tempered so I try to talk to him about it. Scolding a child a lot won't help. It's good for you. The only thing you fight about is "food." Haha. So cute seeing you guys fight.
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
I can imagine that if we had different views on child raising then we would fight too as it's something I'd feel strongly about. It's a good job we agree on that score most of the time! Arguing about food may seem petty but it actually causes a whole heap of upset in my house.
@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
It's not the children who are choosy in my house!
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
Yes, it's quite difficult to choose our food especially if there are choosy children around.
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
30 Jul 12
I completely agree with that list. We usually disagree a lot about chores and that we should spend time together. Do you and your husband argue about what is for the next meal, or getting food in general.
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
I cook for large numbers and there are certain things that he chooses not to eat. He gets the hump when I cook them for everyone else.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Aug 12
I think that your husband should try and be more considerate especially when you have to cook for so many. It makes it frustrating when we have so much to do and others don't seem to appreciate all that we do or to show it. Keep up the good work taking care of your family and now that you are doing a good job.
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
hi greenMoo I'd say time that we spent together we always argue he don't even visit me here we are so far each other we just communicate thru cellphone i think so it is not enough i really want to spent more time with him but i can't because of my review and i told he must come here to visit me but i think he don't like it he have some reason. sometimes i used to understand him for the sake of our relationship.
@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
It must be hard to conduct a long distance relationship.
@512771751 (1096)
• China
31 Jul 12
We sometimes argue most about not expressing our own emotions. And I think communication with each other is the most important.
@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
Can't argue with that! Communication is absolutely key. We're not so good at it, sadly.
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
30 Jul 12
That is so funny, I haven't heard couples arguing about food until now. It must be a cute one to watch. Me and my husband argue mostly about his temper and my sensitivity. Well, we're still practically newly-weds so I guess we're still trying to adjust to each other's attitudes.
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
Hmmm ... I'm not sure any sort of argument is cute. It causes a lot of heartache in my house.
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
Oh please don't worry. The apology is accepted and no offence taken I assure you. Food is just our trigger point. For other couples it will be something else.
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
30 Jul 12
Oh I'm sorry GreenMoo. You're right; I only said it's like that because I thought there are far worse reasons why couples argue, but then when I think about it, I am in no position to say one couple's argument is worse than the other as we all have different lives and we do not know what each one of us are going through. I hope I didn't offend you, but if I did, I sincerely apologize.
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
20 Oct 12
A lot of times I think the main thing we argue about is Bills, and money. It always seems like there is never enough money to go around to meet all the bills, and then when something is late it becomes a drama to see how we can solve it, and eventually be able to get back on track. Food is only an issue sometimes when deciding on what we want to eat.
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
31 Jul 12
I do not think we really argue, but money causes us the most problems. Why do you argue about food? In our house, if you like it you eat it, if not, then skip it.
@GreenMoo (11833)
31 Jul 12
I also think that if you don't like it you should skip it and organise something for yourself, but my other half seems to think it's a personal insult if I prepare something on his long list of things he won't eat. Sadly, most of those things are 'bulk' foods which I need to use fairly regularly to add variety when I'm cooking for large numbers.
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
30 Jul 12
I have a friend who visits every thursday night and we argue about a bunch of things.....LOL....but they are fun bantering like about politics...or religion...things like that! I don't have a partner per se.....
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
Don't they say that you shouldn't discuss politics or religion as you'll just end up arguing? They're obviously right! But if it's fun and you both enjoy it, and don't take anything personally then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't.
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
30 Jul 12
When I had a man.. we argued about pitty stuff. Sometimes it was money but most of the time ti was just petty stuff that made no nevermind. I hardly even remember what it was now, but I realize now it was stupid lol.
@GreenMoo (11833)
30 Jul 12
I find myself going down the same route over and over. It's not petty at the time, but when you look back on it it is just so stupid.
@june2248 (154)
16 Oct 12
Hi GreenMoo, you know dear when i have seen this question i asked myself do i have someone to argue with? and what should i argue about? Because i believe that "in argument similes are like songs in love;they describe much, but prove nothing" But i can say my life is my argument. TK