what you gonna feel when someone is taking you for granted?
By missjahn
@missjahn (4574)
Philippines
August 23, 2012 8:01pm CST
buddies, what you gonna feel when someone is taking you for granted? it hurts eh?! as if you are being used for his/her benefit without considering your feelings if you are hurt or not, right? you do not like this feeling, but there are really people like this, doing things for their advantage.
for me, even not admitting it directly, i guess, there are time doing this, but uncertain when was that because as far i could remember, i tried to be careful not to use other people for my own benefit. in this way, i am cautious not to hurt them at any rage. why so? it is because, it is not easy you will be done alike and get hurt at the end.
so everybody, please try to be considerate. hurting someone has no equivalent price to pay for them or to us. it is not easy to accept if being used or if someone is taking you for granted. beware! for these usurer would be your friends, relatives, neighbours or even your boyfriend. if been occurred in to yourself, humiliation is needed and prayer that the person could realize for doing things so wrongly...
2 people like this
13 responses
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
24 Aug 12
I experience this thing a lot of times and although it is really hurts on my part, I just leave the things as it is. I just try to avoid the person/s who are doing such act. Personally, I would not want to hurt anybody in whatever way. If I think I offended someone, I would asked that person and I would try to ask for forgiveness and I will tell him/her that the act is not intentional. I am a sensitive person but I know there are people whom I consider more sensitive than me.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
it is not really easy how to sink in into this kind of situation. most of people will get hurt when being taken for granted. i can see greediness there of the person who did this. but there are instances that it is not being done unintentionally. though whatever reasons behind or what kind of misdeeds are these, still, it still hurting.
thanks for sharing your point of views in here:)
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 12
Dear Aries,
Yes, sometimes we tend to do things that we thought is 'all right',
however there are people who are extremely sensitive and may
misunderstood us and feel hurt. If I sense that the person is not
happy, I will quickly apologise like you did. We should not take
anyone for granted, we should treat others the way we want others
to treat us 
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
24 Aug 12
Thanks Irene for giving a positive view on my response and for sharing your own opinion.
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
24 Aug 12
To your spouse, you are "granted." If a boyfriend treats you like he's taking you for granted, maybe that's because you're such a dependable woman that he has great trust in you! 
In the end, I think we both (men AND women) want to be 'taken for granted' ... not necessarily 'expected to do as commanded when commanded wherever commanded the way we're commanded,' but more 'trusted to do what's right when in a place where a job must be done.'
(I think of that guy on MATRIX RELOADED who said, 'The Nebuchadnezzer's got to go now; and that ship needs an operator, and right now that operator's me.')
I also think of the 'church' I go to (well, it's a "fellowship"; but--for all intents & purposes--it's a "church"). At that church, I'm 'Uncle J.' If-I'm there and -enough kids are there, I gather them to the front of the 'service-hall' for "story-time." Because 'those kids need an uncle to tell them stories, and right now I'm that uncle' 
In the end, I think we both (men AND women) want to be 'taken for granted' ... not necessarily 'expected to do as commanded when commanded wherever commanded the way we're commanded,' but more 'trusted to do what's right when in a place where a job must be done.'
(I think of that guy on MATRIX RELOADED who said, 'The Nebuchadnezzer's got to go now; and that ship needs an operator, and right now that operator's me.')
I also think of the 'church' I go to (well, it's a "fellowship"; but--for all intents & purposes--it's a "church"). At that church, I'm 'Uncle J.' If-I'm there and -enough kids are there, I gather them to the front of the 'service-hall' for "story-time." Because 'those kids need an uncle to tell them stories, and right now I'm that uncle' @missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
well, as i can sense from your statement, that you are taking a person for granted sweetly with a good purpose and sense and not in a bad term. well, to make it different because most of us, see the term "taking for granted" as a bad virtue. good, you uplift the other side meaning of it. well, love it when my boyfriend will take me for granted because he wants to be dependent on me or yet like you, exerting a little effort to make others happy.
thanks for sinking in to this discussion :)
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
24 Aug 12
I'm sorry to say that I am guilty of having taken someone for granted. That person treated me in a way I was not used to and I guess I got a bit carried away. I felt horrible after they pointed out to me, but they were forgiving. Next time I made sure not to expect them to do things for me and to thank them when they did.
You have to let that person know about it and know how it makes you feel. If they don't get it, cut them off. Don't do things for them anymore and maybe they will start to see.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
sometimes, taking other for granted was really out of the plan and that all was out of our intention. i guess there would be times that we do not meant to hurt someone. but too late to recognize what we did. we really can feel guilty about that unless we're to callous not to feel it. what to do is to say sorry and do the must thing to do, not to do the same thing again, once and for all. at least that failure would give us lessons in life not to use and hurt someone out there. thanks for participating
@pahak627 (4558)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
There are lots of time that I had felt that somebody is taking me for granted. I had friends whom I thought befriended me because I was willing to help them as much as I can afford. It really hurt when the time that it was me who needed help from them not financially but I just wanted to have someone to talk during that time of my depression but those whom I expected will come to me in times of trouble did not come despite my messages sent to them. For the record, I only had few whom I considered friends who were near to me at that time. It was then that I realized that the only persons whom we can get unconditional love are those in our family. However, I still have friends but they're far from me.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
oh that is so a sad story. but we must come to a thought that life would not finish in there just because our friends we thought we can trust denied us in times of our down moments in life. for there are lots out there whom we can trust upon and love us truly, our family for example and loyal and true friends with be in the list. at least you learned from you experience and that you still be friends with them. just be careful not to be used by them in a bad sense, afterall, it is still a blessing when we can help others.
thanks :)
@jobfindonline (1744)
•
24 Aug 12
It is a very wrong way to take anyone close to your heart for granted as we don't hold even our own life. We could be gone at any moment or we could lose them.
Taking someone for granted is equivalent to saying you are not important or worthy of their time.
Whatever we do, we should be considerate to the feelings of the people around us. But I guess the best cure for this is not to expect too much from other people. Accept the reality that there are people who are used to this hurtful acts.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
exactly, we should be considerate enough, thinking of others benefit not to use them for any instance and matter. it is not easy what to feel when you are being used by anybody as if they are just toying you. you can feel rejection with the person you trusted when this kind of situation already occurred in your life. thanks for joining in here :)
@majuuyaitai22 (93)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
Of course it would hurt so much for me. I remember Beyonce song on this. "If I were a boy", there's a line on that song that talk about being taken for granted. "I listen to her, co'z I know how it hurts, when you lose the one you wanted co'z he taken you for granted, and everything you had got destroyed." It was never easy to do everything you can for the one you love, when you found out that he/she is just taking you for granted it would really hurt a lot. It feel like you like to quit because you don't know if it's still worth it.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
oh that song by beyonce which i came to like it. i should sing this to the program in the school but unable to perform it for lack of practice because to busy at the moment. right, like the boy is taking the girl for granted and things have got destroyed.
hmm... sometimes love is blind. even we are hurt already, we cannot decide if we would like to continue the relationship or stop it. but if you love the person at greatest extent, then without any second thought, giving a second chance would be at stake not just to loose the person you love much with a hope that things will soon be figured out and went fine.
thanks
@sweetyethot (1737)
• China
24 Aug 12
in relationships or between friends, this kind of situation do happen.I think building better communication can help.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
for some matter, it helps. but there are persons doing it behind at the victims back. better if you might be aware in much earlier time, where you can do a thing to stop it. but what about, knowing it after the game, so it would be in a state of game over. you might get hurt and the worst is, you cannot trust the person anymore and that friendship being established already been broken. thanks for joining
@cagampan1991 (364)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
True it hurts. After showing them all out effort. After treating them like there's nobody else in this world, then they will take you for granted? it's so unfair. But at least you knew about that earlier. That's why you have really choose friends around you as there are some who will always just take you for granted.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
it is kinda condemnable but better not. you are right, be friend with everybody but select friends whom you can give your heart wholeheartedly. nice sayings eh? in this matter, the two of you must have a mutual understanding not hurt each one of your feeling by taking your friend for granted.
thanks :)
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
If I am taken for granted, I would definitely get hurt. I don't want that to happen. I would ask the person why is he or she taking me for granted. I'll try my best to fix the misunderstanding. When it comes to using people for my own benefit, I never do this. I wouldn't allow someone to use me neither. Happy mylotting.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
yeah we have the same perception and feeling of the matter. we do not like to be used and at the same time we cannot allow ourselves to added in the category of being a usurer. very harsh to hear. doing things like one of the mentioned usurer and being used are both hurtful to individual. let us try to be put some measures not to hurt anyone. thanks too :)
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 12
Being taking for granted and being taking advantage of is really
hurting. To forgive someone whom we trusted doing it onto us is
tough. So, I normally will find ways, a diplomatic way to tell
them that what they did to me is 'too much, it hurts', so that
they do not repeat such words or action and also do not act
that on others too. Maybe they did not realise it, so is best
that I can let them know rather than losing a friend who did
not have the bad intention in the first place. However, they may
think that we are extra sensitive.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
as the saying goes, "do not do unto others, what you do not want them to do unto you." yes, right at that. need to inform the one that hurts you what your felt. maybe she unintentionally did it and not aware with what happened. still having a good and sensible conversation stated or uttered nicely with points what to say is one of the best ways to solve the problem.
thanks for joining into this conversation :) owe a thing from you :)
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
yes, it would be irritable and surely we will got hurt and angry. even so hard to do, truly, i should find a way to understand that person. but keeping a distance away with that person would be my second thing to do, more if the happening is so fresh yet, i cannot bear to see the traitor of so kind. well, that thing is another spice in life for us to be strong.
thanks for joining here
@joankath29 (60)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
I've been there missjahn. Though no matter what I do in my past relationship, no matter how caring or loving girlfriend i maybe, still at times, they usually take me for granted. But amidst my experience, I still don't lose hope for I know someday and somehow, someone's gonna value me alot more than I used to be valued by any other people.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
right attitude you have in there. sometimes, lowly times in our lives made us more stronger. right at that you need not loose a hope when troubles in life irresistibly got into our nerves for they are unwanted emotion that need to be handled. good thing that you overcome from hardships and learned to be strong despites it all...
thanks for sharing ideas in here and God bless :)
@nicklas (1)
• Hong Kong
24 Aug 12
I will feel really stubborn. No one likes to be someone's tool, even if you can receive commissions. I don't like people who are too selfish that they do not care about others feeling. Money cannot buy happiness, so once the person who is hurt you need a lot of effort to comfort him/her and money is just the 'bad guy' who makes all those troubles.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
oh yes, we really do not tolerate or even like it when being done to us. but there are really people who are thoughtless and never concerning the feelings of others or what a victim would feel. it is not okay, but for me, i will try to refrain myself not to utter words for that person badly, because i know myself, when angry i can do unlikely things to say that i might regret after doing it. human outburst of reaction for misfortunes happened.
thanks for joining in here
