Man's most deadly natural enemy........Women.
By ajk111
@ajk111 (2495)
August 24, 2012 10:02am CST
The scariest thing for a man to master and understand is the female body and mindset.
From our earliest days they use their innocence and cute eyes to get us in trouble as we try to play with them by attempting to pull their dolls heads off. There begins the lesson of the deadly female as we learn the hard knocks of life that they will throw at us.
As we move on to late teens/early 20s and as us men meet in the pub the females have gathered in a pack at the tables, their eyes following a single male as he approaches the bar to buy a round. Seperated from his friends the females sence his vulnerbility and the pack can smell blood. Several of the females will leave the hunting pack and approach the stray male at the bar. Two behind him and one will confront him. Without the strength of the male herd he becomes weak and before you know it he is snared into a date. several months down the line and he is getting married and the male herd has been weakened yet again.
There are many cases of the female speices pouncing and defeating the male member, all of them terrifying and far too horrifying for a camera crew to record.
What are your experiences of the battle of the sexes? Have you ever won or do you have a blood curdling tale off defeat?
I have to go now, my wife wants the dinner on the table....NOW!
4 people like this
9 responses
@riyauro (6421)
• India
24 Aug 12
haha your wife is cute. No I was never in battle with sexes but I am very friendly. I have no reason to battle. I am a lamb I guess. 
..but what you have described about when you in teens is so true. I have seen all that happening when I went to pubs. Now I don't go anywhere. just home and mylot. loving it here. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead. 
..but what you have described about when you in teens is so true. I have seen all that happening when I went to pubs. Now I don't go anywhere. just home and mylot. loving it here. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead. 2 people like this
@josga2008 (320)
• Canada
24 Aug 12
Now, for those more aggressive females that love the hunt, the gentle females can come in handy. A female that is out for the kill will look around for males that have been approached by the gentle ones. After the have interacted with the gentle females, the males are more trusting and have lowered their guard. Then, after the gentle female leaves, the male is ripe for the taking. More trusting, and with his guard down, he is easy pickings. So why would the aggressive female even have the opportunity to strike by having the gentle female leave? Why would he not go with the gentle woman, and not be at the mercy of the aggressive one? Well, as much as he "likes" the gentle one, he never chooses her. He says he wants gentle, but he really craves the aggressive one. He wants to give himself over to her body and soul.
3 people like this
@josga2008 (320)
• Canada
24 Aug 12
Finally! A man who understands the way things work, and the fact that men will never understand, and even more ridiculous to think, master women. Also, kudos to your wife for obviously having trained you properly.
Yes, it is true that women travel in packs and look for that vulnerable male who has strayed from the protection of the pack. Not that being in a pack would offer him any more protection. Have you ever seen the reaction on a group of males at the local watering hole as they are approached by a group of scantily clad females out for the kill? Each one has that "deer in the headlight" look on his face, and each one would fight the other males for the chance to be the main "victim". Being in a group just allows the males to be picked off in larger numbers more easily.
As for pouncing on and defeating the male "member", well, lets just say I like your choice of words. It does feel good to "pounce" on that "member".
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Aug 12
hi JenInTn I think its a bit of both and a lot of fun too. lol
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
24 Aug 12
I have to laugh! I saw a Facebook photo post just yesterday about how the female praying mantis will eat the head of the male when mating! One has to wonder why they call them Praying MANtis! 
Your discussion reminded me of that!
Anyhow
As an awkward girl growing up, it was only a dream to have fallen victim to the male herd. I guess I was an amoeba that no one could see . . . or perhaps I was camouflaged so well to go unnoticed for so long.
But just when I hit college, the dormant volcano decided to burst. As the lava cooled, suddenly the male herd was stampeding over my way!
I never really saw it as a battle . . . instead, I rounded up the herd and we had a good ol' time. But perhaps some men did see it as a battle - they tried to lasso me up for themselves! Unfortunately for them, it wasn't going to happen. One man who stood out from the herd and from then on we lived happily ever after. But I'll tell you, the herd doesn't give up . . . somehow I long to be that amoeba and camouflaged creature I used to be!!!
Hope you had dessert ready for her too!
Your discussion reminded me of that!
Anyhow
As an awkward girl growing up, it was only a dream to have fallen victim to the male herd. I guess I was an amoeba that no one could see . . . or perhaps I was camouflaged so well to go unnoticed for so long.
But just when I hit college, the dormant volcano decided to burst. As the lava cooled, suddenly the male herd was stampeding over my way!
I never really saw it as a battle . . . instead, I rounded up the herd and we had a good ol' time. But perhaps some men did see it as a battle - they tried to lasso me up for themselves! Unfortunately for them, it wasn't going to happen. One man who stood out from the herd and from then on we lived happily ever after. But I'll tell you, the herd doesn't give up . . . somehow I long to be that amoeba and camouflaged creature I used to be!!!
Hope you had dessert ready for her too!
1 person likes this
@loonys (418)
•
25 Aug 12
Its time for you to be honest with your wife.
After all she can feel that you don't like her as much as you use to...she just pretending to keep things together same like you do.
Man and woman are not different ,,..we do understand each other very much its the forgiveness of certain behaver that makes us to keep secrets.
Have a nice day,
1 person likes this
@deazil (4723)
• United States
25 Aug 12
ajk, you write wonderfully! I am absolutely amused by this. Couldn't stop laughing for a minute. What a picture you paint. Have you not read Rudyard Kipling's "The Female of the Species"? That's the first thing that came to mind when I started to read what you wrote. The famous line from the poem is "For the female of the species is more deadly than the male". One of my favorite literary pieces. Oh, and your wife is quite attractive. 1 person likes this
@slico79 (212)
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
hahaha... This discussion really perked up my mood today. Nice choices of words on both the topic and responses. I still can't get over about "pouncing" on the "member"... :))
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
Indeed we are powerful and you are vulnerable. We are abusive too!
Oh how great it is to be a woman! However, we suffer from monthly periods, pre-menstrual syndrome, getting pregnant for 9 months and oh the labor pain! Such punishment for being a woman!
So i think it's only fair we take it on to men to ease our suffering. 
@Gautam1002 (730)
• India
27 Aug 12
I feel being diplomatic would certainly be of great help to me in this case.
. But on a serious note, what basically I feel with whatever I have seen is that indeed they are of some trouble when anything related to money poos in the talk. But they may be nice otherwise and are of good support which one realizes when one experiences it. When money talks comes into our mind then we see her with devil appearance and perhaps to the right cause. But then I hope we will certainly be able to decode this species...
. But on a serious note, what basically I feel with whatever I have seen is that indeed they are of some trouble when anything related to money poos in the talk. But they may be nice otherwise and are of good support which one realizes when one experiences it. When money talks comes into our mind then we see her with devil appearance and perhaps to the right cause. But then I hope we will certainly be able to decode this species...
