Should I let him go or tough it out??

Yes, it gets hard when you are used to talking to someone EVERY night and then there comes a time when you don't, you miss that person. Me and my friend have talked, but the deal is that I am not going to stress over him. If we get together, then that is fine, if we do NOT get together, then that will be alright too. I knew for a FACT that I was in love with him, but sometimes things change and we just have to move forward.

You are SO right about the clinginess because as long as HE was the only one speaking about us having a life together (while I was just sitting there listening to him), he kept that type of talk COMING, nonSTOP. But as soon as I was "on board" with the whole thing, so to speak, and started expressing my feelings back to him, THAT is when things changed. When I told him I loved him, things changed, that's the long and the short of it. I don't know how he would feel if I date someone else, but you are right, there is no need to put my life on hold for ANY man. Thank you for your insight on this, I really appreciate it.

I am sure of his feelings for me, I just get frustrated and impatient. I know that he just came out of a really bad relationship, he needs time to be single again. I get that. I really just have to be more patient because I am not ready for a relationship either, it's just NOT the right time, and timing can be EVERYTHING. Your words have really encouraged me, thank you.

If you're sure of his feelings for you, I don't believe you have anything to worry about... We all feel impatient about something at one point or another... It's a natural human feeling & there's nothing wrong with that... Matter in fact, I think it's a good thing... Those types of feelings lets you know about the extent of your feelings... If you were to be indifferent about the whole situation, that tells me that as much as you may care & feel about him as a friend, you may not feel romantically drawn to him... But the fact that you feel the way you do let's me know you really want to be with him... I hope he knows how you strongly you feel about him... And I think you guys are doing the right thing... At least you guys are being smart about it, realizing you guys may not be ready for a serious relationship & taking it easy for now... It'll be that much better when you guys do finally get together... Hop it all works out for you... Keep your eyes on the goal & as hard as it may be for both of you, keep it mind that at the end, it'll all work out for the best...

Again, your words are very encouraging and thought provoking. I really do want to be with him, but the timing is off. He needs time to be single and free, to put himself out there and have fun again, because his ex really put him through the ringer. He was feeling real bad for a long while during the end of their relationship. I have to look at this as an opportunity to work on my patience. My impatience has got me into big trouble more than once. I have to be mature and patient about this whole thing. He knows that I feel very strongly for him, he is the one that MADE me feel that way, so he knows. We talk about it (playfully) all the time, the things that I PLAN to do to HIM, the things that he PLANS to do to me...whew, it's starting to get HOT in here, but ANYway, I know that we are being smart about it. The key is to be patient, that is what this is ALL about. Thank you again for such encouraging words.

Thanks. Yes, I agree "letting things take their natural course" is the appropriate term. You don't get to be stressed about it and you also do your own thing. I had an insight today about it. I thought to myself, I had failed before when it came to relationships with men. What is another failure going to be for me? It's when I fail more that I have to try again, you know, like just stop being conscious with myself and just let the other guy know the real me. If they stay, good. If not, it's also good, because there's always going to be something better.

Yes, toughing it out is a good way to go, but what a difference a day makes, because now I don't see it so much as toughing it out as I see it as just letting things take their natural course. I was so stressed out over him, but that stress has gone away. I'm just going to live my life and do things that make me happy. Good luck in YOUR relationship, I hope that things work out for you two IF this guy that you met in April is the right guy for you.

This is a GREAT response, and you are so right on when you say just enjoy the relationship now. I know that is what I need to do, but in the past couple days I was so focused on the fact that I had not received a phone call from him that any pleasant thoughts about our friendship went right out of the window. For now I have decided to just focus on the friendship and be patient about everything else.

Yes, you are right, it is very hard to be away from someone that you love. But there are lessons in all things, and so out of this situation I have to glean my lessons, no matter how painful that--that process is, or else going through it will be in vain. I have not spoken to him since I posted this discussion. I want to keep him as a friend, and yet doing that kind of drains my energy. You are right when you say that I need to pray. I like how you said that I need to talk to God about this, because of course that is THE way to go. God is a big part of my life, and He has answered prayers and gave me solutions to problems, so I know that He is real, regardless to what any naysayer might say. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I appreciate the insight.

Thanks for saying that my feelings are normal. Sometimes when a person is having a bad day, they think that they are the only ones in the world feeling like that, it helps to remember that things ARE normal and certain feelings are to be expected. Over the course of the day yesterday, I started to feel better, especially since he DID call me early yesterday morning even tho I didn't catch that call, but still, he CALLED, and that made me feel better. You are so right, I'm just gonna let him do his thing and if we get together, we do, and if we don't, that is okay too. Thanks for your words of wisdom, you rock.

Yes, I will just concentrate on the friendship with him.

I feel like I'm just going to let the friendship continue. He called me just a little while ago and we talked, but the thing about it is, neither one of us is ready for a serious relationship right now. I'm just going to live my life and do things that make me happy.

You are right, the situation is not easy, especially because HE started it. I never even thought of him as anything other than a friend until HE started talking a lot of love talk to me, then that is when I started to see him in a different light. I am just going to concentrate on the friendship and not worry about being with him as a lover, like I said, I never saw him as more than a friend in the first place until HE started talking about me and him getting together. I'm just going to live my life and do things that I enjoy doing and not worry about being with him.

You are SO right, it is hard to find true love, that is why I was asking should I tough it out or let it go. I was really stressin' off of this man this weekend, but things are better now, especially since I have talked to him. But in answer to your questions, how can I leave it like that, sometimes when something HURTS you, you feel like you have no choice BUT to leave it like that. I don't doubt that I seriously love him, but since he is newly single he really does need time to just be a man and do his thing. He just got out of a really bad relationship, so he wants to be free for awhile, and I get that. And, being real about the situation, I am not ready to be in a real serious relationship right now, so I'm just going to concentrate on our friendship for right now. It's really sweet that you said please don't get rid of him. Thank you for your sweet words.

Love can seriously put you through a workout, I'm telling you. I've been kinda goin' through it all weekend because he had not called me, but he did call me really early this morning but I didn't catch the call because I turned my ringer off. See, me and this man have been REAL cool for awhile, I never thought of him as anything but a friend. We had fallen out of touch with each other, moved in different directions. He got with some girl who had recently broke up with her boyfriend, didn't have a place to stay. So, my best friend had been jockin' her for awhile because he thought she was so fine...he let her MOVE IN with him. I was kinda cool with her, but I knew that she wasn't REALLY feelin' him. Not my business though, especially since no one could tell him NOTHIN' about her. I did not even waste my breath. I was busy doing me and not even THINKING about those 2 at all. Cut to a year later after him and her get together, she gets on her feet, starts staying away from home for weeks at a time. She has 3 kids, he has kids too. She would leave her kids at home with HIM and she would be gone for WEEKS. Come home for one day, he'd forgive her, next day she'd leave and stay gone for ANOTHER 2 weeks. Finally, he kicked her out. An acquaintance of mine told me that my friend was going thru it, so I called him up and we talked just like always. We get along like real family, close, like brother and sister. We got along really good from day one when we met each other years ago, I used to hook him up with girls and everything. So...after we rekindled our friendship, he starts coming at me waaaay different than he ever had before. I was really taken aback by it. He was telling me that it really should be me and him. He started talking about me and him and a house, a dog, the white picket fence and ALL of that. This kind of talk went on from him for about a week. By the end of the week I realized that I was in love with him, I may have ALWAYS been, since I first met him, I just didn't know it. After I told him I was in love with him, he backed off. He used to call me five, six, seven times A DAY. That stopped and dwindled down to about once a day. Now sometimes I get a call every three or four days. Now we are back in the friend zone, but I know the feelings are there. I could go on, but I think you get the gist of what I'm saying right?? He is a really good friend, we get along like family. I guess you are right about telling him that I don't want to talk to him until we can be together. It's not that I'm giving him an ultimatum because I KNOW that we can't get together right now. But I didn't expect the phone calls to almost come to a standstill. I know that he is dealing with some others casually, and I really don't even care about that if he would just call and talk to ME more often.

Yes, I think that it is good to act bravely too, that is why I told him that I was in love with him, that way he would know. Things will work themselves out, I just have to be patient. In the meantime, I'm going to just let him do whatever he feels like he needs to do, and if we get together, then fine, but if we do not then that will be ok too.