Can friends actually be good lovers?

@inkyuboz (1392)
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
September 5, 2012 5:17pm CST
I don't really know where the boundaries go. Sometimes, there are people who set a "friend zone" so to speak and you should never cross that thin line between friend and lover. I'm asking, if ever you cross that line, do friends really make good lovers? Or is it a sticky situation that almost always ends up in a failure?
6 people like this
52 responses
@arizen (152)
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
Three years ago, my friend and I tried crossing that line. I can't seem to recover from a past relationship, and he is not yet having one. Being the only singles in our group, our friends suggested that we give it a try. It was thrilling at first, knowing that we already know each other. I mean, I do not have to make extra effort in appearing good and being behaved coz we read each other. We can talk without saying a word. But no matter how we tried, I can't seem to move one from my past relationship. We are technically in a relationship but the way we treat each other is just the same as when we were friends. Suffice to say, our relationship did not work out. We never really crossed any line. We just got titles of being in a relationship, but that's all. He doesn't know how to be a boyfriend and I do not know how to move on. We just broke up. The disadvantage of this kind of relationship is the aftermath. Our set of friends cannot go on an outing for months while we were recuperating. We were not heartbroken, but I think our pride were hurt. Of course, there are success stories too in relationships like this. I just shared mine. A relationship depends on the people involved in it, not the etiology where it came from.
• United States
5 Sep 12
I first started off as friends with my boyfriend. When we first met and started talking, I could tell right away that he liked me but it was the end of our senior year and I'd be going away to school and didn't want to get involved with a guy. But he won my heart over and I eventually gave in and went out with him lol. After dating more than 2 years, he's now my best friend and the love of my life. I'm not sure if this really answers your question or not, but I think friends really can be good lovers. But this is just something I know after being with my boyfriend. We've been together more than 2 years and I know that wants to propose and he plans on doing it soon. He started off as a friend but then we turned into so much more.
3 people like this
@Vivianh (331)
• China
6 Sep 12
Hi!Maybe it's great that make friends be lovers.But for me,I won't let the things happen 'cause friends and lovers are different zones for me.I have to wonder that if we won't work it well ,so can we still be good friends and I don't want to lose friends.It's risky behavior.
@phoenix35 (384)
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
Friends can be great lovers... yes. Unfortunately, I do not give friends a chance. Friends for me are like brothers and its really creepy for me to get intimate with a 'brother' even though its only a thought :)
2 people like this
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
6 Sep 12
It depends but all relationships start from the friendship, right? we meet and make friends and then with time, love comes... Don't doubt about it, when you love just love and live for that love...
@hayate13 (37)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 12
My wife is my friends, at first me and her was a close friends, we were often together at every opportunity until grow love between us then we get married now. I believe that friendship can be love, but most people after breakup is not friends anymore. Some of my friends decides to became friends than being boyfriend or girlfriend. I think the world is full of mistery romance.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (160349)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Sep 12
I think the longer you know someone and the better freindship you have with someone the better romantic relationship you can have with them. The boundaries are very person are yours to make. I think a good freind can make a wonderful lover. Why? Because they know you better than anyone else. They know what you like and what you don't. They know how to make you happy.
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
yes, sometimes it happen when two develop feeling for each other and they want there friendship to start in another level. some friend would really glad for and beside from what i know many couple become friends before becoming a lover and they already know each other interest such as the likes and dislikes. but, some friendship just like to retain being friend and would give other impression that they just befriended her because he has same intention just to get close so that about getting a home court advantages. so they already knew the weaknesses and those thing to avoid in order not to offend each other.
1 person likes this
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
6 Sep 12
I don't know how you handle your situation. I did it once, and I failed it miserably. I actually love this girl, but she really never love me the same way. So, I guess that I cross the line a bit. Now, I can't do it again, since I already knew that she never like me at all.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
I thknk that friends that turn into lovers are the petfect pair. A strong foundation built out of true friendship is what would make theur relationship be the best of all.
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
6 Sep 12
Hi, Friends can be lovers but lovers can never be friends, well it all depends upon one's point of view. If after crossing the threshold of being friends and going to more serious relationships and the two can't really bring back the carefree, easy going days of being just friends, then it is time to seek a higher level of interaction to keep the flame going. Otherwise, it would be snuffed out in the middle of nowhere leaving the two parties blindly groping in the dark, subject to all misleading whispers of those who are already there.
2 people like this
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
My first boyfriend was used to be my best guy friend. We were very closed as friends before we became lovers. It's not hard for me to accept him because I knew him already personally. The courtship took about maybe a year and our relationship lasted for three years. However, we broke up in the end due to third party. But accepting the fact is the way to get over the pain. And we are good as friends now.
2 people like this
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
6 Sep 12
My husband and I where friends for about 6 years before we started going out and then got married and now have two little babies. If you really like someone weather your friends with each other or not it's always best to just say how you feel and see where it goes you never know if you two really like each other or not. I liked my husband but I never told him and he really liked me and never told me till years later. It's a risk worth taking. We have been happy together for almost 3 years.
2 people like this
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
For me a friend is a friend don't go beyond the boundaries or else he will lost my friendship. I'm uncomfortable if my friend will court me . I will start evading him.. I married a guy who showed interest to me first when he met me, then he befriended me at least I know what's his real purpose. I don't know if a friend will be a good lover because I have not tried. But it's great to have a male friend really, there's no malice seems that he was a brother to you.
1 person likes this
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
6 Sep 12
I know of married couples that started off as friends who are still going strong; but when I think of my friends, the thought of marrying any of them would be like marrying a family member.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
6 Sep 12
it can work^^ i think that a friend can be a good lover if you have a lot of intimacy. for example if he knows a lot about you. if you share much with him and he is always there for you thats great. friends for sure can be lovers^^ but i guess before you say your feelings you should try to find out if he sees you as more than a friend too. cause if he likes you only as a friend and you tell him you love him that can end your friendship.
1 person likes this
@ardoy0731 (7308)
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
Well I believe that friends can be lovers too. Based on the people I know who are happened to be my friends too will prove it. Some of my friends are became lovers now and as I see, they have long and happy relationship. We witnessed it and some lead to marriage too.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
Well based in my own experience, good friends can be also good lovers because to the fact that you started your relationship from being friends, you already feel comfortable with each other. You don't feel any awkwardness at all because you've already knew each other for a long time. :)
1 person likes this
• Kenya
6 Sep 12
A friend is someone you love and it can get complicated when you cross that line as what you expect from a lover is very different from a friend, there are lucky cases that have worked and the unfortunate ones where the friendship is destroyed and the lover relationship hasn't worked either. Every case is different and its up to you to weigh out your options!
1 person likes this
• India
6 Sep 12
Friendship often turns in love because a boy and a girl can't be best friends. If they are then one of them at least love the other. That's reality. They may not realize it at first but with time they do realize because friendship is the first step of love.If she can't be my friend , I can't love her . I may get attracted to someone but can't truly love her if she is not my friend. Because you can't love someone till you him/her. But reverse is not true . I mean Friendship often turns in love but love in friendship never.
1 person likes this