best friends are forever?
By alina
@swissheart (6482)
Romania
September 13, 2012 3:18am CST
well I tought so. but sadly I was wrong. we've been friends for over 7 years and I tought our relationship would stay that way. but as we grew we went to different colleges. still I wanted things to be the same between us. I would call her because I missed talking to her and instead she would tell me that she couldn't speak and that she would call me later but she never did that. we made other friends but we would still speak from time to time. we went to college in different cities but this year she moved here. I tought things would be different but i was wrong again
we barely see each other and now I realised that things changed. we're different now, we don't have much to talk about.
this really makes me sad as I tought we would go out to the park when we're like 80 years old with our grandchildern. but sadly looks like things don't always turn out the way we want them to.
2 people like this
23 responses
@rappeter13 (8608)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
If this happened, it means that you were never true friends. Because I believe that true friends are always there for each other in the need, and from time to time find a bit of space to talk with their friends. If you have searched for the contact and she refused it many times, then it means that she doesn't want this relationship to continue. You must accept this and learn from it, because we need to learn from our past. However, maybe she has only a rough period, and as time will pass by, she will become what she once was.
@rappeter13 (8608)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
Then that's it. You know the situation better, but if she couldn't find some time for you, when you needed a close person to share your pain, then she doesn't deserve you as a friend. You have to let things like they are and not search contact with her anymore. If she will return to you, it will be up to you if you will want to be friends again or just people who know each other.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
right now from best friends we got to the stage that we are just some people who know each other. I'm tired of it. I'm sick of the way she treats me. I really cared for her but she simply doesn't respect me. I don't think I want to keep her as a friend. I"m sorry that I got to say that but she made me to
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
she has been acting like this for quite some time now. it was hard for me to accept it but I finally did. we were close in highschool but after we finished things started to change. better said she started to change. I changed too that's for sure but I still wanted us to keep in touch. but I'm sick of her not being there for me never. i wasn't asking for anything in exchange but instead of us talking she would rather go clubbing. I remember I called her once because I broke up with my boyfriend and I was extremly sad and she told me that she couldn't speak as girls were waiting for her. I understand that she has other friends...I do too, but I was extremly hurt because she wasn't there for me when I needed the most.
that's it I have to deal with it. she was never the kind of person I tought she was
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
I think I have that kind of friend when I was in grade school.
But when we went to high school, although same school, everything has changed.
My mom used to ask me how's my friend but I would just say, "I dunno, I haven't heard from him since our grade school". That was sad, but we should understand because some people may not consider you as their best friend and unfortunately you considered them as one. Don't be sad, you will still have your best friend in the future who will recognize you and be with you until you got 80 years older. 
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
that's the problem...she said that she considered me her best friend but she would simply resume to words. as I said things in highschool were different between us. but now she changed. she turned out to be so superficial and she would only care about fashion, drinking, clubbing....I can't cope with that. this is why I said we want different things from life. aldo it's hard to accept it I have to do that. when I said I don't want to talk to her again she said that she felt like I excluded her from my group...I never did that. she thanked me for being "such a good friend" and because I told her in her face what I tought. I didn't need and thank you..i did what I tought was normal and I needed her but she wasn't there for me
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
I don't know if I want to keep her as a friend. I'm tired of having to deal with the way she treats me
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
Maybe she is just insecure about how good friend you are that she can't influence you with her habits. Don't worry, a person like you can find a best friend worthy of every time you will give her. Just keep your past relationship with her as a friend and make it a lesson on you.
Happy mylotting!
@namiya (1713)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
it's true sometimes people's preferences changes as they aged and while you had remained the same in how you viewed and valued your friendship but sadly this is not the same in her case. But sometimes things happened for the better and who knows someone more deserving to be your friend would replace her.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
i have other friends but in a way she was special to me. I don't know why but I saw her as the sister I never had. anyway it's time for me to accept it that she's different
@aghiuta (525)
• Canada
14 Sep 12
It depends on the friend!I have a girlfriend since I was in first grade(a long time ago),and even though we live on different continent,any time we talk or see each other,is like no time passed at all!My other best friend,lives in the same city,and we see each other more often,and we are here for each other,Then there are those that seemed to be friends,while we worked together,but since I retired,I was the only one keeping in touch! Since I gave up,I never heard from them!!!So you win some,you loose some!I always said that if they show no interest,they are not worth my friendship!!!
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
18 Sep 12
lately I was the one calling her too. to be more precise I was the only one and she would tell me that she couldn't speak. so I gave up...there's no point in doing that. she didn't at least remember when was my birthday. so you can imagine how much it hurt me. I gave up on calling her and I haven't hear from her ever since
@wangyabin (17)
• Singapore
18 Sep 12
I think friendship is forever. But we may not always in the same status. It's quite normal that friends don't talk too much as they live far away from each other...But I don't think that means friendship is disappear.
I used to don't talk to my best friend for a long time, just because we live in different city. But when I have something in trouble. The first one I thought is till my best friend.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
18 Sep 12
I considered her my best friend. and when I was in trouble the first person that I would call was her. but she started to change. and she would prefer going out than being there for me. so how could I consider her my friend anymore?
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
13 Sep 12
hi, i stopped believing in such lines, after experiencing some bitter experiences fro m some so called best friends , so now i don't believe in any best friends or friendship, i just be with the people , no making deep friends or what so ever
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
14 Sep 12
of course, after all we are social animals, i cant talk . they need not be only best friends..
@challs12 (548)
• Malaysia
14 Sep 12
Best friends last forever? It's the talk and the wish by good friend. However, it won't really happen in our life. The reason I'm saying this because we change and mobile.
Change I mean in terms of many things. We change emotionally. We also change in attitude, perception and intention. This will change the friendship. Previously, we may be talkative, but now no more. Maybe we meet our love one, then our attention more to our love one not to friend. Maybe we have bad experience, then we change in emotion. Then best friend will only be friend only.
We mobile, previously we stay in same block, now we move to another place and meet with new friend there and we'll find a new best friend. Then the old best friend will be only friend only.
If you say, friend is forever, I say yes. But if you say best friend is forever, I say not really.
@derek_a (10874)
•
14 Sep 12
The way I see it is that life is a journey. I have had a few best friends during my journey. The first ever was when I was 11 years old, as we changed schools we lost contact, but I would say that my friend was still my friend and occasionally we saw each other as we passed in the street, but there was no expectation to hang out as often as we cone did. I never see him at all now and don't know where he is, and that's OK. As a Zen practitioner, I am always seeing how life keeps moving on.. Through Zen I aspire to experience non-attachment. When people are around, I enjoy their company, when they are not, I enjoy my own company. Not everybody wants to view like in this way, so this is just the way I am. _Derek
_Derek
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
14 Sep 12
One thing that I've learned during the course of my life is that we do have many friends that cross through our lives during our lives, but there are very few of those friends that are actually true friends. In our lifetimes we are only blessed with a handful of true friends and when you have one of those, you can go for years and years without talking to that person and then just bump into them one day and you will be able to pick right back up with that person as if no time at all has passed.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
i can give my point of view even not reading the contest of your discussion about best friend are forever? well for that, i oppose. as life changed from time to time and so as people. it is not the friendship would work alone to succeed and to preserved it all along till end but it must be worked upon by people who looks the importance of it if want to make it last. but according to your statement above, your friend changed a bit.
but maybe for now she is really busy. and that in the near future we each of you could go along once again and then your wishes would come true that when you reached eighty and that. just patiently wait for it and try to understand her. or yet tell her what are your feelings about the matter.
@gpldeguzman (168)
• Qatar
14 Sep 12
It is really very rare that best friends are forever. What is constant in this world is CHANGE, people change, situation, and circumstances. Those things affects friendship, moods, attitudes and behavior.
@nidakhan001 (305)
•
13 Sep 12
hey heart,
when I was reading your writting it really feels like I wrote it, this is xactly whats happening with me and my best friend, though we are in the same uniiversities but in different departments. We hardly see eachother and every time either I have to go her or call her, but she always seems soo much occupied, busy and gregarious that she has to me that I will catch you around:(, I really miss her but I guess by tyme things don not stay same.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
I miss her too. aldo she treated me the way she did I still care for her. but I realised things aren't the same between us. she doesn't care for our friendship as much as I do and I have to accept that. we had a fight many time over this but it's finally time for me to accept it
@kemak28 (724)
• United States
13 Sep 12
I have gone through the same thing with most of my friends from highschool and college that I had. We still keep in touch over email but we live in different states, are married now and have kids. Unfortunately life changed for all of us and although we are still friends and care about one another its just not the same as people grow apart and change.
@susieq7 (8)
• United States
14 Sep 12
Friendships really do come and go in life because we all change so much. I think we all have to learn, at some point, to let go of those old friendships to make way for new ones. When I got married and had kids, my friends changed - not because I meant for them to but because I was in a different season of life. I have to make an effort to keep those old friendships alive...just by keeping in touch and meeting for dinner once or twice a year. That's important, but it's also important to focus on new relationships and new experiences that you'll be having.
@jange52 (71)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
So sad to hear that. There are friends that stand by each other even they are already old. But I think it depends on the different circumstances in a person's life, like moving to another place like you said.
Me and my best friend from childhood were separated when my family have to move to another place. We were best friends since we were about 5 or 6 years old. And we moved to another place when I was 15. Since we mingle with different people our perspectives in life changed.
People change and since you are two different individuals, I believe your likes and interests changes through time.
What's important is that you cherish the memories you shared together. Be there at times when she needs you. Be available and maybe she will also be available for you when time comes.
@bembzee (768)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
Bad thing... I really enjoy having my best friend around, i treat him very special compared to others and i owe almost half my life to him for making me happy and staying at my side. When i think about "us" going in seperate ways makes me feel really sad. I hope this won't happen to us, i'll try hard to keep in touch with my best friend.
@xiaoyeye (32)
• China
13 Sep 12
I think true friendship, like true love, lasts forever. But the friendship between you two is not that true, at least for her, and it's just the general relationship in a certain case. Your friendship changes as long as the condition is different. Maybe what I've said is too cruel or indifferent, but it's what i've concluded after going through so much depression.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
13 Sep 12
Yeah there is no such thing as forever because with time everyone changes and i know that you feel hurt because you were expecting things. the day you stop expecting anything from anyone, you will be the most happiest person to tell you. I have this way of life and I don't think about any expectations from others. Just expect what you can do in life and expect things from your own self. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@lola1301 (2)
• Cyprus
13 Sep 12
I really really understand you.
My best friend had moved away really far and she came for holidays here in the summer. Things weren't as i thought it would be.
People change. If your best trustful friend can turn to someone different.
Well, that is sad :'(
