Male Roommate
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
United States
September 13, 2012 10:53am CST
So, I am going to be done with school in 1 more semester (after this current one), which is about less than a year in time. So I've been considering what I'm going to want to do when I am graduated (regarding my living situation). I'm thinking I'll either get my own apartment (I've been looking a lot up), finding someone who is looking for a roommate (I've signed up for the website roomates.com), or staying at home for a few more years while I work, save up money, and maybe have enough to have a down payment for my own house.
This discussion is to talk about the roomate option. I'm looking for either a male or female roomate (I think their are pros of having either), but I'm kind of leaning towards a male roomate, and here's why. The area where I'm hoping to get a job is not THE BEST (it's not extremely ghetto, where gangs hang out and there are murders everday), it just not the nice gated communities that I'm living in now. Haha. So I think finding a male roomate offers more protection. I don't think my mom would like me moving in with a guy that I don't know, but I tend to trust the individual more than the whole. I think there is a MUCH less chance that someone who is legitimatley looking for a roomate is a weirdo, then the people in the city are weirdos. Do you understand what I'm getting at?
What do you guys think? Girls, would you have a male roomate because of the added sense of security? Or would you be totally against that idea like my mom?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Being a "mom" I am totally against this. Number one, you do NOT know who these guys are or where they come from or what type of background they have. I would be for it if you KNEW the person, but never in a million years would I say it's ok to move in with a male stranger. You would have a 50/50 chance that he would be normal and ok. Do you want to take that type of chance?
Plus, don't you think the weirdos go to websites like this too, looking for people just like you? It's simply not a safe idea, not in today's world. Please don't ever think "it won't happen to me" as many girls have thought just that.
Personally, I think you should stay home for a few more years, save your money, and either find an apartment in a safe neighborhood, even an efficiency would do for you, or buy your little house you want.
We all love you here Lily and don't want to see anything happen to you. I'm sorry, have to agree with MOM. 
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Well, I believe the website does do background checks on everyone who subscribes (girls can be psycho too 
Haha) but I def. understand your concerns. And I've never had the thought "it won't happen to me" i'm pretty paranoid! Haha.
The saving money for my own place does sound appleaing though. There are houses in a city that's only about 30 minutes from where I want to work that are over 2,000 sq ft and UNDER $100,000, and they're nice houses. It'd only take a couple years (3 at the most I'd think) to save up enough money for a down payment.
Haha) but I def. understand your concerns. And I've never had the thought "it won't happen to me" i'm pretty paranoid! Haha.
The saving money for my own place does sound appleaing though. There are houses in a city that's only about 30 minutes from where I want to work that are over 2,000 sq ft and UNDER $100,000, and they're nice houses. It'd only take a couple years (3 at the most I'd think) to save up enough money for a down payment.
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Personally, I'm glad to hear you're paranoid...if only more girls were. At least I know then you are aware of your surroundings when you're walking down the street. And for sure there are psycho girls too, but you mentioned more of the opposite gender. That's when my hair stood on end, lol! 
Don't forget too, you can always look for a cuddly little older home which might be less money to start out in. Sometimes you find better deals on those with bigger backyards and sometimes nice cozy front porches. You do have many options ahead of you and I wish you the best. Just stay as safe as you can be, no matter what.
Don't forget too, you can always look for a cuddly little older home which might be less money to start out in. Sometimes you find better deals on those with bigger backyards and sometimes nice cozy front porches. You do have many options ahead of you and I wish you the best. Just stay as safe as you can be, no matter what.@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Oh I am CONSTANTLY looking around when I'm out. I like to people watch, so yes, I'm usually very aware of my surroundings (even when I'm driving). Haha. Aww don't hate on the opposite gender! 
I really want a house with a big backyard! That would be on the very top of my "want" list. Since I love dogs, I'd want enough space outside to have 2 or 3 (they wouldn't be outside dogs, I just know how much they love to play outside).
I really want a house with a big backyard! That would be on the very top of my "want" list. Since I love dogs, I'd want enough space outside to have 2 or 3 (they wouldn't be outside dogs, I just know how much they love to play outside).1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
13 Sep 12
I wonder in what way a male roommate should give you protection. You want him to guard you day and night? What about learning some self defense first or find a better area to live in. I don't think you can ask from a roommate to guard you because you decide to go live in a dangerous area.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Oh no! I don't expect him to follow me around all the time! Haha. I just mean say, if someone were to break in, I wouldn't be alone and the guy would probably be able to defend the hous better. He wouldn't necessarily be guarding me, he'd be protecting HIS own property/the house.
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Unless he's gay, I'm totally against it.
Not that I think he'll hurt you intentionally, but he might come in expecting "benefits".
More that I'm afraid you guys might become more than friends and he's not serious about more. Its generally the gal who gets hurt when they think it should move on to something more serious and he just think its "friends with benefits".
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
13 Sep 12
I don't think I'd ever be in a "friends with benefits" situations. I didn't see that movie, but I'm pretty sure it's not all laughs and happy endings! Haha. And I would QUICKLY stop any thinking along those lines.
But the website does tell you if they are gay or not, so I could do that. They can offer just as much security, but they won't be trying any funny business! Haha
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
25 Sep 12
Well...I don't think that it should matter on whether or not you have a male roommate or a female roommate. I don't think that you should have a male roommate because of extra security you know. I mean I think that females as well as males can defend themselves just as well. I think this, if they are going to be your first roommate, it should be someone you know, male or female. I say if you want extra security, maybe get a dog. Move into a place where they allow pets. But anyway, I don't think that you should just get a male roommate because of security reasons. Before you get any kind of roommate if you don't know them make sure you check into them first, you don't want to just let anyone be your roommate you know.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
13 Sep 12
The idea is nice and I had seen 2-3 regional language movies and all are ending up with a sort of issues. If we live with a different gender, it will definitely invite unwanted incidents as long as people are grown up. We think it is more safer and helpful, but the life with a different gender is quite challenging and it is very rare to get into a proper relationship for a long time.
Also, you may not be aware of the person with whom you are going to live with. If it is a know friend or anyone you know from a long period of time, there is a reasonable logic. However, if it is a different person altogether, I don't think it will stay on for a long time with normal circumstances. Because we all are human beings...
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Those are all very justified concerns. Maybe I don't need a guy to live with for security...I think a big, protective dog would do quite nicely! Haha.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Im for it but u should be very careful. A single gal living on her own...do u know how to take care o urself? I'm talking about self defence. If not then u should read up about it and teach urself and save money. Also buy urself a can of mase or a bull horn to protect urslef. Its been a long time since I was alone but when I was that's what I did. I taught myself how to handle certain things...and learned a few tricks just in case...because u never know what's lurking around the corner.
Sure I don't know u but just be careful and do ur research on who u allow in ur home. :)
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
13 Sep 12
Good ideas! Although I don't really want something that could back fire on me; I may end up spraying myself with the mace, so maybe I should get the bullhorn! Haha.
I am very careful and cautious! Even if I didn't end up living with a roomate, and just got my own house, I would def. take many precautions. An alarm as soon as I could afford it, security cameras on the outside of the house as soon as I could afford them. And something that I personally think is one of the best forms of protection....big dogs! Haha. In addition to the little chihuahua I just adopted, I'd like to adopt a big dog or two (when I can). I don't think anyone would be getting into my house!!
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
14 Sep 12
I see your point, but I think I would be more like your mom. Although it is your decision, I would be very careful with picking a roommate.
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
14 Sep 12
I would suggest living at home until you save up enough money to live in a good neighborhood. We all know every city has a neighborhood that we all should avoid. I'm a Mom and I would give the same advice to my daughter, as I would worry, if she lived in a bad neighborhood by herself or with a roommate male or female.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I'm against a roommate all together, but that is just me personally. I can't see myself relying on another person for half the finances of the apartment. Too many people go on these judge shows for these deals gone horribly wrong. Also, I don't think that I could live with someone that I didn't know beforehand. If I did get a roommate it would have to be a long term friend or a relative; because meeting people from forums and post boards just flat out scares me *there are weirdos out there!*
So if you know a male already that you would be comfortable with maybe I could get on board with your idea...but getting a complete stranger to live with you and a male to boot? Yeah...too scary for me.
@tangleddreams84 (581)
• United States
13 Sep 12
I feel more secure just having people around. I couldnt live in a detached home without an alarm system. I am glad I live in an apartment building with people all around me. Even though it has its downfalls. I would agree that if you don't know the person be it man or woman or big strong husky woman it doesnt matter how they can protect you if you dont know them and they cant be trusted. WAit for someone you know and trust.
