'no rescue' policy - is this FAIR?

@mommyboo (13174)
United States
September 15, 2012 5:13pm CST
I just have to vent. There is a school in my town that does a few things that really irritate the heck out of me. I take care of my friend's kids sometimes, so I drop them off and pick them up from school. Last week the youngest (who is in FIRST GRADE) discovered that he had forgotten his lunch at the house and he seemed really bummed/worried about it. I told him I would try to swing by the school and bring it for him, at least before first grade went to lunch. Keep in mind, none of the kids said anything to me regarding the school's stupid policy, so I'm not sure how much the kids really understood. Anyway, I went back to the house and went for my run, so I was gone maybe an hour, and then I found the lunch in one of the bedrooms and headed back to the school to drop it off. First thing I get is: Sorry ma'am, you can't bring a lunch for your child. I tried to explain that I'm the friend and I'm on the emergency card so I have no clue what policies they have at the school, but my friend's son is only in FIRST GRADE and I really did not want him at school all day with no food! After this they tell me 'we have a no-rescue policy which means parents and caregivers are not allowed to bring forgotten lunches, snacks, jackets, backpacks, homework' (basically ANYTHING your child might forget or leave behind, the office will NOT allow you to bring it or drop it off for your child!! I think this is BOGUS, I think it is RUDE, and it really makes me ANGRY. Thank GOD my daughter goes to a NORMAL school where they don't treat parents like crap if they happen to bring a forgotten lunch or a jacket - I would have somebody's head if my daughter left her jacket in the car and it was 32 degrees outside and they wouldn't let me bring her jacket and have her called to the office to come get it! What are the rules at YOUR kids' school? Are they as pathetic and rotten as this? I would NEVER use this school! If it were the last school on the planet, I guess we would be doing school ONLINE and supplementing with a lot of field trips with friends. I still cannot believe this! I am still fuming! I understand that maybe it's to teach kids a lesson, and if the FIFTH grader left his lunch at home, I'd have let it go, but not in this case! They did tell me the cafeteria would give him a lunch but he ate an awful lot for snack that afternoon after school.... so I dunno!
4 people like this
13 responses
@violann (436)
• United States
15 Sep 12
I no longer have school age children, however if I did and this happened I would not only call the school board I would also contact every local news station to let them know about it, have them investigate it and the school needs to have a very good reason why they wouldn't allow a parent/guardian bring to bring a child their lunch. Maybe if the news got involved they would change their stupid butt policy.
• United States
15 Sep 12
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
the only reason I haven't gone to the school to complain is that I am not the parent. Trust me, if MY daughter's school did something this ridiculous, not only would I have already spoken to the principal but I'd have been to the district to file a complaint as well. It's not like forgotten lunch is a habitual problem either, this is the only time this has ever happened when I've been taking care of the kids (I've known the kids since the first grader was an infant) and the attitude the school had with me was deplorable. I don't care what other situation 'led' to this policy, I wasn't around when that situation occurred, I wasn't trying to remove some stranger's kid from the school or smuggle something on campus in a lunch bag and I am willing to give them every form of ID I have if it makes them feel better. Not that anything like that happened but I keep hearing about 'something that occurred' which led to these sorts of policies and it just bugs me that they have to treat everyone like criminals and basically punish the children as a result because someone ELSE acted like an idiot!
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
16 Sep 12
I personally have a no rescue policy, barring weather. But I don't think it is right for the school to force that level of responsibility on the 6 year old children. I would definitely be informing the media, as one person suggested.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
It was just weird how they were all 'we can give him the lunch if he just comes here to get it, but if he doesn't, we can't ask his teacher to send him here to get it'. Well why not? How complicated is it and how much time does it actually take away to call the classroom and ask them to send ONE child to the office to get a lunch? I even asked them if they could have one of the proctors in the cafeteria send him to the office to get his lunch at lunch time and they said no! It just makes NO sense to me, and things have to make sense. I do not follow any rule that doesn't make sense, I don't care who made it, what the reason is, or why they think I should follow it. If I am forced to follow it anyway, I make sure that people know I disagree with it and I'm not happy.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
17 Sep 12
I hear ya there dear, I hate it when things don't make sense. I am kind of surprised you just didn't go anyway.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
16 Sep 12
WTF!!!!!! Oh hell no! That's just crazy! You can't rescue your child!!! This just broke my heart! How in the hell can you a parent they can't bring their child something as important as lunch!! That would have sent me over the edge.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
I hope this doesn't happen again, if the school ever calls ME because they can't get ahold of my friend to tell me the kids don't have a lunch or lunch money, I will be really mad. I'll probably tell them - well, when I tried to bring a lunch, you wouldn't let me.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (156162)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
I can see where MAYBE they are trying to teach kids to remember things but this is rediculous. What if it is raining or storming and the child doesn't have his coat or whatever? THis could be a real health problem. The schools where I live are just the opposite. They would probably thank a parent for doing this. And what if this child you speak of didn't know to go get the 'free' lunch? Or the authority didn't know of the situation and he just went hungry? THis is really horrid.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
I don't know why they have to be so mean, it's not like he was in 5th grade and should know better, it was an accident, he put the lunch down when he was tying his shoes . The jacket thing bugs me too because the oldest one has told me they don't let anybody bring jackets either and the kids are forced to go outside for recess. At my daughter's school, if it's really cold and windy or raining, they do their physical education INSIDE and they also hold recess INSIDE. When there were problems with fires last year and there was a lot of smoke and air pollution, they also had the kids inside. That's one of the reasons I got upset when I was arguing with the office. They were telling me 'well if he knows to come to the office to get his lunch, then we can give it to him. If he doesn't know to come to the office, we can't tell his teacher'. What the hell? I mean he's in FIRST GRADE. That's like someone saying 'I'm mad at you but I won't tell you why'
2 people like this
@celticeagle (156162)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Sep 12
I think that ever they wouldn't let a child of mine go without a jacket or food I would talk to the principal, district and governor if I had to. Luckily where I live they don't have such rules. I really feel badly for the kids at this school.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
17 Sep 12
Well, that is about one of the crappiest policies that I've ever heard. I think that if a child does forget to bring something to school, there should be no reason that the parents can't bring those things to the school for the child so that they will not have to do without. Perhaps if they want to have a policy like this, it should be something that only goes into effect after the child has forgotten items several times in the course of a year. Our school's strangest policy is that after school if you are picking your child up, you have to wait for them in the office space and not in the commons area at the front of the school.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
17 Sep 12
I agree!! I can see how a school would have the right to nip rescues if you are bringing something forgotten EVERY DAY. Picking up kids is kind of a hassle at most schools, there is just not a good way to do it. Unless you come rather early, it's impossible to get into the lot, and unless you have parking across the street and access into the parking lot from there walking, it's not more convenient to park and walk up.
1 person likes this
@theguy03 (185)
• United States
16 Sep 12
That is very odd, I can understand the logic but it is heartless. Sometimes common sense does not prevail in the school system. Some of this seems almost abusive to the children of the school, children are naturally forgetuful. Has anyone seen if the local authorites would step in on something like this?
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
If they do it to me again, I think I will file a complaint. This isn't the first problem I've had with this school. I have mentioned some of this stuff to friends and none of my friends can believe it either. Apparently, WE all have decent schools. THIS particular school is way off the deep end. Sometimes I wonder why nobody else says anything, I have no problem saying something, I think it is rude and unacceptable, and I also don't care whether they like me or not. They don't have to like me, but they do have to comply if they get investigated lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Sep 12
Ok, I can see some of the stuff like homework, but NOT lunches. I do not have kids in school anymore and they've been out for many years. All I can say is, I'm glad they are OUT! I've been reading some pretty ridiculous discussions here on what the schools are doing and I think to myself..how dare they? And, who do you think you are???? This is MY kid and I would be fuming too, or in your case, kids you're responsible for. Same thing. I just feel things are getting way out of hand and pretty soon you won't be raising your kids, these arrogant people will be because YOU'RE doing it wrong, according to them. No, I think it's absolutely ridiculous that you cannot bring a child's lunch to school. Did you happen to ask him what he had for lunch?
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
I asked him if he got anything from the cafeteria and I think he said they gave him a sandwich, but when I picked up the kids after school, his brother heated up a bag of hot wings and he ate about 6 of them.... and some yogurt... and some of my daughter's Takis. He's not a big eater usually at once, he's more of a grazer, so to me he ate more than normal - making me think probably all they gave him was ONE sandwich. I'm still irritated about this and it's been several days!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Oct 12
hi m ommyhboo thats just so unreasonable its pathetic I no longer have any reason t o fight with the grade or high shcools'but I have never had anything so mean happen to me or my kids when they were little. back then schools were more lenient and much more humane it appears to me.
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Sep 12
Sometimes I have a no rescue rule. If one of my kids has forgotten things one time too many, I will refuse to go get it. But I do draw the line at food and jackets. And I think this school's policy is idiotic. I can see something like a detention policy if there are too many rescues, but to flat out refuse to allow you to bring their lunch or whatever is over the top.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
Like I said, I was upset because he's a first grader . I felt rotten even finding out he couldn't find his lunch when I was dropping him off. His backpack was open so he was zipping it up but he happened to notice it looked kind of empty so then he said his lunch was missing and he started looking around the back seat of the car in case it fell out. I even asked his brother if he accidentally had TWO lunches but he didn't. It wouldn't have bugged me if I knew the kids had lunch money on their accounts.... but I was pretty sure they didn't. Since I'm not their mom, I can't just add lunch money, and I didn't have any cash on me lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 13
that is the dumbest rule I have ever heard! children are human too, sometimes they forget things like Im sure most adults do I would be livid if my school told me I couldnt bring my childs lunch to them I know the school would let my child eat a school lunch BUT they would charge my childs account I dont have moeny to pay for school lunches which is why my kids take their lunches not to mention that the school lunches dont include much food and the food that it does include is not as healthy as the schools seems to think seriously 6 "chicken" nuggets, 1/4 cup of mac n cheese, 1/4 cup of applesauce and a cookie? that is NOT a healthy meal!
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
24 Sep 12
Sounds like yet another reason to invest in a private school, or home schooling. Public schools are horrible. The best ones are horrible. The worst ones are nightmares. I wish we'd do away with the whole system.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
25 Sep 12
MY school is NOT horrible, and I like public school. I dislike the snobbiness and elitist attitudes of private schools, or the chances of your kids being indoctrinated by something you don't believe in. This school I ranted about isn't even in my home district, and many other people (who also won't send their kids there) have the same complaints I do. If I were to find a private school that did not have an elitist attitude, that didn't teach religion, that did not require uniforms, or cost 4K a year, then perhaps we could discuss it. I like the idea of online school, but not homeschool. If the school won't let me be a sub without taking all those years of schooling, then it makes little sense that it would allow completely uneducated parents to homeschool, know what I mean? Double standard!
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
25 Sep 12
Actually, there are many uneducated parents who can home school their children quite well. Now of course it depends on the meaning of uneducated. If you can't even read and write, or do basic math, well then you have a point. That parent can't likely teach much, if they can't even read what they need to teach. But short of that, you don't need a college education to teach the ABCs, reading and writing, and basic arithmetic. You need to have a college education to teach a college education. But you don't do that in home school. And the idea that someone can't home school is fruity given that before public schools everyone was home schooled the basics. For example, my sister is a stay at home mother without a college degree in anything, and she taught her son how to read before he even started school. In 1st grade, he was reading 4th grade level books. As for the elitist attitude, I went to public schools, and they were extremely elitist there. If you didn't drive a new porche, or BMW, let alone not have a car, you were considered lower than scum. Subject to endless ridicule. It was just a public school. And ironically, I had several teachers that didn't teach much. They would either read the book to you verbatim, or some teachers played a video while they sat at their desks. If that's all a masters degree in education does, is allow you to hit the button on the DVD player, and grade tests.... somehow I think a parents without a degree in education could do just as well. I also have some experience with elite private schools, and although I wouldn't be able to tell if they were snobbish, I can say that they were teaching far ahead of where public school students were. I was amazed to find that 6th graders where learning the exact same material that I was in 11th grade, in the public school. And I do mean exactly the same material. I happen to look over these sixth grader's math and science books, it was exactly the same that I was being taught that year in the public schools. So I have a very high respect for private schools. Not only because of the high quality of the education, but also the high quality of the schools themselves. The buildings were immaculate, clean, maintained, and nothing pointless or trivial. They didn't spend $100,000 on a sports program, and then claim they can't fund tutors for students if the levy doesn't pass (something that actually happened in my public school). Now, I do agree with you, no doubt at all, there are snobby elitist schools. However, I think there are snobs everywhere. Snobby has more to do with the father and mother influencing their child, than what school they go to. I would also say, that if by chance, you happen to have a truly smart child, not the parent syndrome of "my kid is brilliant because he's my kid!", but if you have an amazing kid... I would honestly consider the idea of a private school... or doing some advanced home schooling, and possibly even a private tutor. Public schools will generally hold back a brilliant child.
1 person likes this
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
16 Sep 12
this is really heartening and so sad to hear,how can this be allowed upon,we cant be on our own,we certainly need rescue policy,without it,it would not be feasible
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
It just punishes kids who are really too young to be expected to have that level of responsibility. It's not fair and I still can't believe I was standing there being lectured by and arguing with ADULTS who should know better!
1 person likes this
@McCreeper (777)
• United States
15 Sep 12
Your local Primary school has a really !@#$ policy, I must say. Not sure why they wouldn't allow it, knowing first graders are innocent and all. My current school allows me to get items from anyone off-campus if of course, they first check-in with the "guards" in our school.. Perhaps they should have something like that, so then it wouldn't be so difficult to give the lunch.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 Sep 12
You know... they were really weird about that, telling me 'you know that you are not allowed to wander around campus'. Ok, YES, I am aware! I have to sign in at my daughter's school as well and get a sticker that says visitor or volunteer and if you volunteer, you have to let them know where you are heading so they know where on campus you will be in the event a fire, disaster, or other catastrophe happens. I wasn't even ASKING them if I could DELIVER the lunch, I just wanted to leave it in the office and GO, I didn't even want to stand there while they went to get him, I did trust they would actually give it to him - except they said they would not call him to come get it unless he already knew to come get it. Pffft. Even when my daughter was in first grade, it's not like she would just KNOW without being told or reminded that she should just suddenly ask her teacher if she could go to the office to see if her mom dropped of her lunch. I think that is expecting way too much of a first grader, in my humble opinion. I'm an adult and if someone stopped by my work to drop off something, I wouldn't KNOW unless someone called me and said 'hey, your friend so and so dropped off something for you'. They seemed like they had all the time in the world to argue with me and repeat their policies but it was WAY TOO MUCH TROUBLE to interrupt the class to call the teacher and ask her to send him to the office to pick up his lunch. Talk about seriously messed up priorities here.
1 person likes this