I dont like my office mates..

@iamJB7 (122)
Philippines
September 22, 2012 9:34am CST
When I got my first job..I was really excited to meet new friends especially my officemates. I expected that they will be friendly to me. But I was wrong,,I don't feel that I'm welcome to their company..They don't even talk to me. They just ignore me and talk with their close friend. I was really upset on my first day. What I did is I just focus my attention on what I am working. During lunch they don't invite me just for accompany. They don't include me on their chit-chats. I feel that I don't have a friend at all. I miss my old life when i was still a student. I really have lots of friends and all of them were really friendly and accommodating. Not like now. I have to adjust new environment.
4 people like this
34 responses
• United States
22 Sep 12
Make the first move and talk to them. Whats the worst that could happen. Did you all even do a formal introduction to each other. They might know each other but tell them that you want to get to kno them more. if you all have a project that you all have to interact with each other than that will be your perfect chance.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 12
Yeah I agree with Mrgamendrum, you should try to make the first move. I think your officemates may just be comfortable already in their own clique and don't feel like trying to talk to you. If you talk to them first then they'll eventually start talking to you too. start out with somethig small like a problem with the cofee machine as an in lol GL
• China
22 Sep 12
Yes,you should adjust to it. It's none of their business to taking care of fleshmen,we all have our routines and maybe will not welcome other's upseting. So,to adjust to it.we should do sth.Firstly,try to be friendly at first,say hi and retain smiling while confront new ones;Secondly,do sth simple and not complicated for others or just for the public;Last but not the least,be modest! Anywhere,it's just first day,you such a good guy will surely be welcomed in your mates..... Good luck!
1 person likes this
• India
22 Sep 12
I think thats the right advise you have given. Since a novice in office atmosphere, it would be hard to adjust in initial days. but slowly you come in terms with the atmosphere there.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Sep 12
Yeah, same here, I never had office mates as friends, but I have encountered one or two that I first work in the company who treats me lunch and buy me a watch after they had scold me for my work performance, I really feel I did not give my all but am sorry as well but I already forgive them. Now I work flexible job and most of the office mates there are friendly, so I do this job for a long time already, we do go out for lunch sometimes and chat most of the time, that is why I like them, in my opinion a regular job that is 9-5 can be really boring and monotonous, so I rather be in a flexible job yet still is in an office but time is really flexible. I will suggest you to go near them and approach yourself, maybe they don't know you well yet, after quite sometime working there, you will realize they are not that prejudice.
1 person likes this
• India
22 Sep 12
I have similar experience at my work place. when i joined my work after college, i thought would have similar atmosphere,. but it was all different. people were more self-centered. I found they were even finding it hard to smile.
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
22 Sep 12
hi, exactly happened with me too, but what i found was a complete different and opposite atmosphere over there. There was always some quarrel between the TL and some head weight staff, cant blame anyone, the staff was not right in their place , and similarly the TL. So the result was no friendly atmosphere at all. Being a new staff there, i was always in dilemma , how to talk and what to talk, and how it reflects me. I some how adjusted for few months, until i got better opportunity.
1 person likes this
• India
22 Sep 12
The most important thing I found was delegation of liabilities or responsibility. Someone rightly said success has many fathers whereas failures have none. this is very true in the corporate culture.
@MANJET (84)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 12
It is pretty common for such situation to happen. They might have met and worked together for quite some time. As time passes, their relationship improved. The same might just happen to you too. Perhaps you just need more time to get to know each other better and build a friendship. Don't give up so fast there.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (140034)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
We can not avoid that my friend! Most of the starter will feel the same thing, especially like you having first job. Give more time to adjust, you will find your officemates aloof at this point of time. But later on, they will be your friends.
1 person likes this
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
22 Sep 12
It takes awhile for someone to get used to someone new in their company. Try approaching them making some chit chat, they probably think you're just shy and dont want to associate it. Make a good impression. They'll turn around eventually they just have to get to know you and then things will turn around for the good. I was like that at my job i have now I didn't really know anyone I was shy and didn't really talk then I started opening up and now i'm friends with everyone in the department. Good luck I hope things turn around for you.
1 person likes this
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
good day iamJB7, honestly speaking, what you have encountered is just normal. as i have seen and witnessed that treatment in all of those jobs that i have gone through. however, don't loose hope as you will definitely gain friends as you go along day by day on your office. it may not be in your area or department, but, for sure, you will have new friends soon maybe on other section or department. generally, you cannot really have your closest to where you are working on. however, just always put your feet on the ground, be humble and take courage.
@jaraan (193)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
You are certainly right airasheila. What she experienced now is just the most easiest part of work stretch. There are stressful part heading and should prepare for it. How I wish I could find a Job just to sleep, relax, and visit different places!
@namiya (1718)
• Philippines
22 Sep 12
Not all offices have the same atmosphere however there are really ones where employees seems to be snobbish. If i were you, just concentrate in your job and irregardless of their attitude, try to be friendly with them. Show them that despite your being inexperienced you are more knowledgeable when it comes to public relations or proper dealing with people.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5276)
• Philippines
22 Sep 12
Don't be sad. I think it normally happens when it is your first day. Just count days and soon they will began talking to you. Try bringing food and ask them if they want. That way, you will earn some chit chats with them. If it failed, try something else. That is if you really want to have some friends. It really needs to start with a good conversation. AND if all else fails, just give your best shot on your job and you might win your boss' attention. That way, you are now friends with your boss.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12304)
• United States
22 Sep 12
Well, that's one of the harsh realities of life. You cannot always expect to have somebody welcoming you or being all friendly to you just because you're a newbie. You are all there to work afterall, and not to expand your social circle or meet new friends. Why not try being the first one to approach them? Introduce yourself, invite yourself whenever they have lunch if you feel like you must have some people to have lunch with. Strike up a conversation or two. Ask questions, if you must. This is the real world, this is work. You must learn when to take the initiative. If none of these work, or they are still not talking to you, then try again sometime to other people. Just do what you came there to do and you will be fine. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Sep 12
Maybe they feel you are a competition :), anyway just don't mind them, focus on your work, or just smile and greet them when you come in the office,if they will not response you, never mind just be happy and feel them you are not affected.. Later on they will come to you, curious why youhave that attitude. Remember if they didn't see you see yourself, ,entertain yourself, humm and keep on smiling while working...be happy and enjoy your first job?.
1 person likes this
23 Sep 12
I suggest that you give your new office mates more time. I know that they should have been the first to approach and talk to you as just a matter of office courtesy. Just keep your confidence and cheerful attitude so you can at least bring a fresh new attitude. I think they'll learn to accept you in time.
1 person likes this
@asteroyd (26)
• Philippines
22 Sep 12
Thats just normal really~ That's what we call life. :D You should just sober up and get used to it~ Or better yet. Gather all the courage you can get and talk to one of your officemates. Atleast one friend is good enough right? And if you still can't find friends. Its alright~ Just stay positive about things.
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
24 Sep 12
It is true that, since you are the newcomer, the other people in the office should make an effort to include you. As they have not, you need to make an effort to determine why. Do you have any shared interests? That night be the reason you have not been included. For instance, young mothers are usually wrapped up in their children and not much interested in anything else. Do you like to bake? if so, you might bring some cookies or maybe banana bread to share. That might break the ice.
@xiaoyeye (32)
• China
23 Sep 12
It's lucky to be welcomed heartily by your officemates. However, it's not a big deal if they ignore you at the very beginning. After all you are a fresh guy and so you need to talk with them initiatively. What's more you have to adapt to the environment instead of the opposite way.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
23 Sep 12
I know what you are talking about but I have not been through what you are going through. I mix well and very talkative too and I was lucky to have workmates that were really helpful and friendly. I suggest you must wait and try to talk to them and once they know you, you will start liking them. I am sure this will happen, so don't worry. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@jaraan (193)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
Hello and welcome to the real world of career! just ignore them and you are right about focusing on your work and You dont have to worry about it as long as you know what you are doing. It is alright to sometimes chit chat but I dont think that it is the right time. Also remember that you are not there to make friends You are there to have a better life and not for them.
@litvillegas (1274)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
Hello friend, I also have the same experience when I had my first job after college. I remember that everyday seems a burden to me. I don't have close friends and they were self-centered. I've learned to adjust to their attitude and style but since I was not happy I quit my job and find a new one. I didn't mean you have to do the same thing. I guess all you have to do is just to be friendly with them even though they don't do the same thing. Think positive and be patience perhaps they are just observing you. I'm sure you can find a new friends there. Just focus on you work and don't mind them at all. I'm sure they will realize soon that you are good friend worthy to keep..:) Have a great day..:)
@comike8 (59)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
That is so bad in your case. How can you work better if they don't give you a good company. In an office there should have a solidarity and understanding for an efficient work. Maybe some also have envies that's why they are like that, but in your case since your first day they are like that, how would they get envy. Or maybe their just adjusting of how they will interact with, just take time. Maybe in a few days you are staying their you will get that good companion to your office mates.