Fair weather friend, maybe?
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85137)
Shingle Springs, California
September 23, 2012 4:54pm CST
When I got laid off, I was overwhelmed by the people who came out of the woodwork and not only said kind things, but also did kind things. They put my resume in with recruiters, their employers, hiring managers they knew at other companies, etc. One group even gave me a card, and took up a collection. It was pretty awesome and touching, really.
When I left my last job, it was like this one, lots of people laid off, all scattered to the wind. One friend had gotten a job with Countrywide Funding. She was really happy with it, but a few years later it was layoff time again. So when she asked me if I could help her get into Health Net, I said I'd try.
I have to say I put a fair amount of effort into it. I'd search the company website at least a couple of times a week, and if there was a position that she might remotely qualify for, I'd put her in for it.
It was a couple of discouraging months, at least it seemed like it, when I got a call from a guy I had worked with before, asking if I would recommend her. Yes, of course I would. (Why would I put somebody's application in if I wouldn't recommend them? lol)
She got the job, and she's been there ever since. Her husband got in too, left, came back. Far as I know, they are both still there.
When I knew I was leaving I asked her to keep an eye out for me, and let me know if she saw any jobs. She said she would.
I must say that is the last I've heard from her. Maybe Health Net just isn't hiring analysts right now. They are in cutting mode, after all. Maybe she isn't a fair weather friend, but it would be nice to hear back once in a while.
I doubt she's putting in the same effort to find me something that I put in for her though.
PS I had a really awesome interview on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed.
8 people like this
28 responses
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
23 Sep 12
Aww, I hope you get the job you interviewed for. I know what you're talking about though because I had the same experience. I got my girlfriend a job where I worked because she was out of work. It lasted for a while and then the place ended up closing. I couldn't find work for nothing. She found a job really close to where she lived which was a bit far for me but I asked her to see if she could get me in....nada. I heard nothing. Then she took a position from the same store only closer to where I live...nada, nothing. Yup, yup, yup..some people will do everything they can to help out and other just don't do it. Oh yeh, I had another friend to who did the same thing to me. Whats a person to do.
3 people like this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
25 Sep 12
Oh, I didn't mean they are bad friends at all. I love both of them but I would have just liked to hear one way or the other. The waiting is what is horrible and not knowing whether they are hiring or not. I'd rather just hear and be done with it than wonder what's going on. Sort of like an interview that you think went well, then you hear nothing..ugh..horrible.
I wish you the best though and good luck! 
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
23 Sep 12
It is great that you helped your friend get a job and that you kept on trying until she got one.I got a friend a job and she loved it, only problem was there was not enough hours for her to have a steady income and in the end the company went down the pan, so she was jobless again and she has not had a proper job since.
I hope your interview gets you the job you went after, fingers crossed for you.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
I should know by the end of the week. Thanks!
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
Found out in June, so I've been looking for a bit now.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
Let's just not think negatively quickly for some people. Perhaps they're just really working as hard as you do to keep an eye out but, as you said, they were in cutting mode.
I don't think they're fair-weather-friends, I do hope that they aren't. It's sad to be in that situation when you realize that the people you trusted to help out are not really doing anything to help. But perhaps you need to be as sharp in getting in like you did for her too.
I do have friends who ask me for job openings and such, and there are just times when there's nothing to offer. I don't immediately return calls (perhaps I was just busy) but it doesn't mean that I don't remember them when someone does tell me something - I have helped friends find work too - in my own way. :)
So, here's to hoping for the best! Have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Sep 12
ohmy dawn you still have not got a job wow b ut at least the house sold and yo u have a little money ?I do hope you get this
one as you said it was an awesome interview so I bet you will
get the job .sure hope you do.will be praying for you to get
that job.sorry your friend did not go more to bat for you but
I gu ss things happen., hope this one is the winner. hugs from
me
2 people like this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
I have some money left over from the house, plus I got a good severance check, plus I'm getting unemployment. I'll be fine for a while if I don't get it. But I hope I get it.
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
25 Sep 12
Wow - that's nice of those people to do all that when you left! 
Interestingly, I know a couple people who worked for Countrywide - and both of them had the choice of leaving or relocating to Texas a few years ago (separate friends, both at different times). And I had a workaholic friend who was working for Health Net in WH . . . she liked it there as her previous job was in management (which honestly was NOT her thing), so at Health Net she could just work without being in management position - but - once there was a threat of possible layoffs, that's when she freaked (again) and left.
ANYWAY. Maybe, too, your fair weather friend didn't realize how much effort you had put into helping her get that job? Reminds me of when a film editing friend was in such a rut because she could not find a job - and she'd do nothing but complain about it to everyone. Well, a friend who worked for a studio stuck his neck out and alas got a job opportunity for her (it took a lot of effort on his part apparently). But she flat out refused it - because it wasn't big pay - or something ridiculous (because she needed ANY amount of money really) - and that was that - and she still continued to whine. The friend put his arms in the air about it - he tried - it was a slap in the face for him.
Keeping my skating toes crossed for you!
Interestingly, I know a couple people who worked for Countrywide - and both of them had the choice of leaving or relocating to Texas a few years ago (separate friends, both at different times). And I had a workaholic friend who was working for Health Net in WH . . . she liked it there as her previous job was in management (which honestly was NOT her thing), so at Health Net she could just work without being in management position - but - once there was a threat of possible layoffs, that's when she freaked (again) and left.
ANYWAY. Maybe, too, your fair weather friend didn't realize how much effort you had put into helping her get that job? Reminds me of when a film editing friend was in such a rut because she could not find a job - and she'd do nothing but complain about it to everyone. Well, a friend who worked for a studio stuck his neck out and alas got a job opportunity for her (it took a lot of effort on his part apparently). But she flat out refused it - because it wasn't big pay - or something ridiculous (because she needed ANY amount of money really) - and that was that - and she still continued to whine. The friend put his arms in the air about it - he tried - it was a slap in the face for him.
Keeping my skating toes crossed for you!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Sep 12
I almost took a contract job at Countrywide at the same time our other analyst took a full time position there. She's in Texas now. I got a counter offer and stayed. Got laid off, went to Health net, got laid off. Am hoping to end up at Blue Shield, maybe until I retire.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
24 Sep 12
Good luck with the interview. Maybe you should contact her, just to say hi. You might be surprised, and could let her know you are still looking for a job. Hopefully you won't be after Thursday, though.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
I did message her on Facebook, but I don't think she gets there very often.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
23 Sep 12
Do we always expect a return on our good deeds? I don't know but I do know that your conscience is clear and that you did your best for another human in need. Good luck for the job. I'd hire you and I don't even know what an analyst is! Although people have told me that I need one....
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I don't think it's really "expected" at all, at least not on my part on what happened to me.
I think it's just a matter of letting us know somehow whether they're hiring or not, or whether they were able to talk to anyone. But not to hear a word back about anything one way or the other I think is the issue. I know when you're out of work, you're going bonkers and you just want to hear something, even if it's "no they're not hiring at this time."
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
Excellent point. No, I don't keep accounts that way. But I was wondering what had happened to her.
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
24 Sep 12
If you doubt that she's putting in as much effort as you did for her then chances are you are right. I hope that you do get this job you had the interview for *fingers crossed*
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
OH well, I don't expect that much effort, just for her to drop me a line if she sees something.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
24 Sep 12
My fingers are crossed.
You are lucky that you do have a lot of people looking out for you.
I can't say that I'd have the same if I were looking for a job. I got my jobs on my own. The only person who has ever tried to help is my husband. Sometimes his customers will have openings that he'd tell me about. I came close to getting a job at a little gas station/convenience store a few years ago (when I wasn't working) through a customer of his, but alas I never got that job and his customer ended up leaving the company shortly there after.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (59827)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
hi dawnald.
first off, good luck on your interview. hopefully, everything pans out right for you and you clinch the job.
i know that your fair weather friends owes you big time for getting her a job there and it'll be great on her part if she returns the favor to you. hopefully, she does the right thing and extends assistance to you like what you did for her before.
cheers and happy mylotting!!!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
If she doesn't, oh well. I think things are working out pretty well elsewhere (crossing fingers).
@allen0187 (59827)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
well, good luck to you on whatever endeavor you choose to take dawnald.
cheers and happy mylotting!!!
@CelticSoulSister (1640)
• Southend-On-Sea, England
25 Sep 12
Difficult to say what the real reason is and I do hope that perhaps she's simply been too busy yet intending to look for you when she has the time, or maybe she has been looking and right now there are no vacancies, but if that was the case I'd have assumed she'd let you know that she'd been looking. I wonder if, during light conversation, it might be worth asking her if she's seen anything you could apply for? It might remind her if she's forgotten?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Sep 12
There are not that many vacancies,but really I'd rather find work at another company anyway.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
26 Sep 12
I hope that the awesome interview that you had on Thursday turns into something more because I can tell that you are definitely one of those people that has been laid off that is looking seriously for a job right away.
As far as this friend of yours goes, I doubt that she is putting in the effort to helping you to find a new job as you were doing for her when she was looking for a job. That is just the way that it seems to be with people, you will put a lot of effort into helping them out in their time of need and they will put little effort into helping you out during your time of need.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Sep 12
It's a week tomorrow. (biting nails lol)
Not a clue what she's doing. But I don't really want to go back there anyway.
@purplealabaster (22085)
• United States
24 Sep 12
I am definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you that the job you interviewed for on Thursday comes through ... or something better comes along in the meantime.
It definitely sounds like she is not putting in the same effort for you that you did for her. I understand that the company might not have anything open at the moment, but in instances like this no news is definitely not good news - I think that some sort of communication from her, even to say that there is nothing right now but she is still looking, would be the appropriate way to handle it, especially for a friend.
It definitely sounds like she is not putting in the same effort for you that you did for her. I understand that the company might not have anything open at the moment, but in instances like this no news is definitely not good news - I think that some sort of communication from her, even to say that there is nothing right now but she is still looking, would be the appropriate way to handle it, especially for a friend.1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
24 Sep 12
Break a leg Thursday! That isn't a friend but a associate. A real friend would do what you did. I'm so sorry . Well I hope she lost a friend , you.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
Eh, I've had other people who have been really helpful.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
24 Sep 12
I think you got stapped in the back on this one! At lesast that is what I think! If not maybe she has but there is nothing open!
I hope you get the job you interviewed for Thursday! Keeping my fingers crossed!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
If she had put me in for something, I would have gotten an e-mail. Doesn't mean she isn't looking though. I just think the company doesn't have many openings, as they are doing a lot of cutting right now.
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
24 Sep 12
Dawny..I have been in those shoes. It is one thing not to want to help a friend, and it is another thing not to be able to help a friend because of the situation, and being ashamed of that feeling of not doing enough so avoiding contact. What do you really expect of her? Call you and tell you that she is trying to contact somebody in HR department when the HR department person has categorically mentioned dont waste my time there is no possibility for recruiting anybody as of now? Do you want her to give you the bad news so bluntly? Or do you want her lie saying she is trying though she would know there is no further scope? It happens to the best of us at times. Intentions cant be bad, it is the situation that makes it hard to tell another person more heart breaking news. As long as she does not call you, perhaps she feels you still entertain some hope. At least, that is the way I am and I have been. So yes, avoiding without actually wanting to, remains the only route. Hope you do get that job finally. I pray with my whole heart for you.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
I don't really expect anything other than her letting me know if she hears of an opening. And it's quite possible there isn't one. I just happened to see her profile on Facebook, and was wondering.
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
24 Sep 12
Don't despair; you have done something good. Continue with the helping of others it will come back. Here you have just written me about your misfortune, and here I have a name for you. I don't know how to get the message to you though as I want to give you a name but I don't want everyone else to have the email. I have just joined this guy's outfit and written more than ten articles for him. I am satisfied with the pay so you would be too. Anyway, let us try the email approach eyes@intekom.co.za
Rayda
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
24 Sep 12
I think may be she just do not pay much attention to your job hunting,and not a fair weather friend at all,I think when she encounter some good opportunity she will remember you,so pls just have a little faith to your friends,by the way,good luck for your coming up interview.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
24 Sep 12
Goodluck on your interview, and I hope you hear some good news about it soon. I do feel a bit bad about that friend of yours. Although I must say that you are still far luckier than her because it seems to me you far off better than she is. I mean even in your current state, you didn't lose sight of the true meaning of friendship and looking after. She could use some of it from you, but then, you cannot be held responsible for the characters of your friends. It is true that we get to see who our real friends are in times that we are at our lowest. Who knows, this might even be a blessing in disguise, for you to land a job without her help. At least you will never have to share it with her, it's all in your hardwork and your own merits.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 12
A lot of people have come forward to help. And I don't know that she's not looking for me. I just know she hasn't found anything. But I may well end up getting a job on my own merits. The one I interviewed for last week was like that.
