MIxed Emotions
By Toni
@toniganzon (72285)
Philippines
September 25, 2012 8:19pm CST
Eleven days from now i will be leaving home. Though I won't really be that far and I have the chance to see my son everyday through FaceTime, I still have mixed emotions.
I will surely miss hugging him every night before he finally falls asleep, smelling his head and kissing his tiny nose. I will surely miss how he would kiss and hug me in the morning before finally saying, 'love you. see you later!'
Last night was a realization for me when my son said i won't be here to study with him for the second periodical exam. It's his own way of saying he will miss me. At 8, he's trying to be a man, trying to be strong, not wanting to cry and tell me he would miss me. I told him we could still study together through FaceTime and that somehow made him feel better.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
Parting time is always a sad moment, Toni. Specially, that it would be the one dearest to your heart. But it has to be done, so his future could be assured and it has to start with you.
Well, maybe you can bring a t-shirt of him and your husband. Before you sleep smell and hug them . That way, it's as if they are just there with you.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
I don't think it would be right for me to bring something of them. It would make me miss them more. I'm just looking at the fun i'm going to have there. I would like to make myself busy so I wouldn't have time to meet them.
It's a great help though that my mother-in-law, with her three cousins and her niece is coming with us and they'll be there for a week. A week of shopping and having fun with them will surely take my sadness away.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
Oh shopping, the most wonderful part of going to a new place. 
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
26 Sep 12
I can relate to your situation as I am also on the same situation as of now toni. But we have to do this thing for their future also eventhough we know how hard could it be for us and our children. We have to stay strong because our family for all we know rely to us that much. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
Yes you are right! And the thought that i could always go home if i want to and for them to visit me there as well is a great consolation. New beginning, new life. For the past few weeks i've been really excited about it, but now the reality of being away from my son is slowly itching its way in my heart.
I know for a fact though that i'll be ok there.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Sep 12
Hi toni -
Yes, it will be testing time for both of you. You will come to know about it only when you go away from him. Both are going to miss each other.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
26 Sep 12
You can stay easily in contact these days due to excellent ways to stay in contact like by email. It is lovely that have Face Time to use to stay in contact with him. I hope that you will enjoy your work. I hope that your eight year old son will get on well at school. Good luck to him in his exam. I know you are both going to miss each other. Good luck.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
I trust that he will like always. He's very concerned about his studies and he enjoys going to school a lot. I'm pretty sure he will ace it again like he always does.
BTW where are you going?.
Yes he wanted to show off as if he is not sad for you going out but in actual he is. Who wants his mother don't stay with him?.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
8 Apr 13
I'm back home again but only for a month. Discussions after this one will tell you where i was.
@BethelSophia (538)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
Oh, I admire the strength of your son. He's indeed getting more mature at a very young age. I do understand your feelings I knew that it's not easy for you but I believe that what you're doing right now is for the good of your family. I would be hoping as well that God will give you strength. As a mom it's not easy to be away with your child, so in that you really need a strength from above!
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
True. And i know the Lord will guide me and give me strength at all times.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
26 Sep 12
I don't understand why you would want to leave your son and move out of the home, but I assume that you have a very good reason to want to do so. At least the modern technology means that you are able to keep in touch with him every day if you should want to do so. It is important that he doesn't feel as though you are abandoning him, and he needs to know that you always love him and will be there for him no matter whether you live in the same house, or whether you live several miles away in another town.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
He doesn't feel abandoned. My previous discussions explained why i'm leaving. Besides, like i sad, i won't be that far away and i could always come home during holidays.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
26 Sep 12
I know this is a difficult phase right now here at your end. Some decisions have been made and the only thing that I can say right now is to stick with the taken decisions. All the best with the FaceTime and other Virtual Apps which somewhere I dont rely upon and agree with. But nevertheless, I know you - a good loving mom and a caring one, someone who is more smart than me and I know your decision is just and right...
I sincerely wish you and family the best of luck here and I also remember what you mentioned earlier - you would call them up to be with you soon. So I stand by you here.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
The truth is i could always go home during the holidays or they could visit me if they want to during vacation time. There's no problem with that.
@netearner (36)
• United States
26 Sep 12
I know it is going to be a bitter sweet moment when you leave. I hope that you and your son will keep in touch because that is going to be so important for him to know that mommy still loves and cares for him. That is good thing that you will be doing in order to keep up with him and talk to him it will help to keep him from feeling abanded and lonely without you being there everyday. I hope this is for a good reason and that you will not feel gulity for leaving him just remember what and who you are leaving behind to know who to come back to. I kno whe will continue to love his mother no mater what.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
I'm pretty sure there will be no guilt feeling. Besides i could always come home and he could visit me there too on vacation time. He's smart enough to understand the reason why i have to leave. In fact he's showing me that he's happy about it, but i'm sure he is going to miss me as much as i will miss him.
