…said I love you but I lied
By adnileb
@adnileb (5256)
Philippines
September 26, 2012 11:11pm CST
When you like a guy/girl, do you love him/her the first time you saw him/her? Do you love him/her on your first date? Or just when you are both in a relationship? Nowadays, young generation express their love in a different way. Others commit suicide for the one they love; some destroy their life when they have their hearts broken. Really odd love. I know some guys who say “I love you” to a girl when they are still on the “courting” stage. I just can’t think how they define “love”. Sometimes it has been a prerequisite in every relationship that they should tell those even if they don’t really feel it and sometimes they don’t even show it. “Said I love you, but I lied”. 
I know one guy who has been in a relationship for months but he’s not saying “I Love You” to his partner. He just told those words a few months after. I asked him why it took him so long to say those words and he said he just can’t say it. He even told me that he never told his previous partner the words “I Love You”. I was a bit confused, but he just can’t say it if it’s not true.
How about you my dear lotters? When you had your relationships, was it that easy for you to say “I Love You” to your partner in an instance? I mean the first time you saw each other and had a date? Or still having doubts and waited for the right time to really feel that there is love?
Your thoughts please.
Thank you. 
I know one guy who has been in a relationship for months but he’s not saying “I Love You” to his partner. He just told those words a few months after. I asked him why it took him so long to say those words and he said he just can’t say it. He even told me that he never told his previous partner the words “I Love You”. I was a bit confused, but he just can’t say it if it’s not true.
How about you my dear lotters? When you had your relationships, was it that easy for you to say “I Love You” to your partner in an instance? I mean the first time you saw each other and had a date? Or still having doubts and waited for the right time to really feel that there is love?
Your thoughts please.
Thank you. 3 people like this
16 responses
@vandana7 (98826)
• India
28 Sep 12
I'd be lying if I said I never felt love. But it was also something that fizzled out as fast as it came into my life..lol
So now I am old, and unmarried, and ...happy.
If I had to say I love you to somebody at this age..obviously my list of requirements would be longer.
So he would have to be
a. Good looking (why we women cant get over that)
b. Clean and tidy
c. Fairly good with chores at home and outside
d. Adjusting enough to put up with my rotten cooking
e. Have tastes like me in home and garden
f. Good with managing finances
g. No bad habits like regular drinking, gambling, smoking, womanizing..
h. Enjoy quietness with just some old numbers if at all
i. Healthy so that I dont lose him half the way
j. Terrific singer
k. Terrific sense of humor
l. Terrific at socializing
And after that do you think I would say I love you. I am not sure..lol
2 people like this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
WOW! I should say your requirements are fair enough for US women. 
I think those are present in all men. But not on one man. LOL
Maybe there are few with those traits but you have to dig deeper on finding him.
I think I found him and he's here in my heart BUT, just to correct SOME from your list,
*he's a terrific singer, so terrific that I am terrified sometimes. 
*and I am the one adjusting with his rotten cooking (good thing not always)
They said we don't need to find love. Because true love finds us. 
Do you believe in that?
What if you're already as old as a granny but still love didn't come along?
Would you still wait?
But good to hear that you are happy being single.
Don't you like to find the love of your lifetime?
What's your age now if I may ask?
I think those are present in all men. But not on one man. LOL
Maybe there are few with those traits but you have to dig deeper on finding him.
I think I found him and he's here in my heart BUT, just to correct SOME from your list,
*he's a terrific singer, so terrific that I am terrified sometimes.
*and I am the one adjusting with his rotten cooking (good thing not always)
They said we don't need to find love. Because true love finds us.
Do you believe in that?
What if you're already as old as a granny but still love didn't come along?
Would you still wait?
But good to hear that you are happy being single.
Don't you like to find the love of your lifetime?
What's your age now if I may ask?
Anyways, I wish you good luck on your relationship-to-be. 
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
I have never said 'i love you' to a guy during the courtship period much more during the first date. I would understand if the guy would tell me that he loves me during our first date because that is the main reason why he wants to court or date me. But me saying those words during a first date, I don't it is appropriate not unless I know and love this guy for long and I am really just waiting for him to court me. I am just confused why a guy would like to date you if he doesn't love you in the first place? Just for fun?
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
I see. I know that the generation now are playful and adventurous but I don't expect that they would treat love in the same manner. When I was still a teen, my mom would always tell me that I should be really careful in choosing a boyfriend. I would in fact not allow a guy to court me if I don't feel anything towards him. I mean I don't like him a bit. But if a guy asked me for a date and I like him, I do say yes but I don't really make them spend money for me. I only let the guy spend money if we're officially a couple. I do that to avoid being guilty if at the end of the day, I would feel that he is not the one I am looking for.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
I think that it is harder to be a parent nowadays as there are so many things and factors around us that can pollute our child's behavior.
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Just for fun?
Yes. There are lots of guys who would do that.
I know some of them when I was in college.
And I pity those guys doing bad things to a girl.
But what's funny sometimes, the guy don't really love the girl and just courted her.
So the girl accepted the guy even though she don't love him as well.
The guy thought that the girl loves him and wouldn't want him out of her life.
But in the end, it's the guy who changed and loved the girl. The girl really don't love the guy so she broke up with him.
That's the day when the guy finally loved the girl. So the guy's heart really broke. And I think that's karma.
Have a nice day!
Yes. There are lots of guys who would do that.
I know some of them when I was in college.
And I pity those guys doing bad things to a girl.
But what's funny sometimes, the guy don't really love the girl and just courted her.
So the girl accepted the guy even though she don't love him as well.
The guy thought that the girl loves him and wouldn't want him out of her life.
But in the end, it's the guy who changed and loved the girl. The girl really don't love the guy so she broke up with him.
That's the day when the guy finally loved the girl. So the guy's heart really broke. And I think that's karma.
Have a nice day! 
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
27 Sep 12
Hi adnileb
It took me more than a year to tell her that I love her. I was too unsure of what these feelings were for her. She was definitely more than a friend but then I had to check out if it wasnt infatuation or anything else.
I never had any affairs or flings with anyone earlier and so it was a little confusing. I mean I always kept thinking - I couldnt find anyone worth falling in love during the ages when it normally happens and now at 30, is it love?
Two of our common friends always believed that this was love and they did keep pressing us to propose but we did take our time to be sure and certain...
Today, the young is more confused with what love is - thanks to Tele, Movies and the culture which relates almost every other thing with love except love itself... they have made this word look so very inexpensive
It took me more than a year to tell her that I love her. I was too unsure of what these feelings were for her. She was definitely more than a friend but then I had to check out if it wasnt infatuation or anything else.
I never had any affairs or flings with anyone earlier and so it was a little confusing. I mean I always kept thinking - I couldnt find anyone worth falling in love during the ages when it normally happens and now at 30, is it love?
Two of our common friends always believed that this was love and they did keep pressing us to propose but we did take our time to be sure and certain...
Today, the young is more confused with what love is - thanks to Tele, Movies and the culture which relates almost every other thing with love except love itself... they have made this word look so very inexpensive@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
Hi there, sids. Good to see you again. This made me smile: “….at 30, is it love?” There’s nothing wrong with being unsure even though she is more a friend to you. That’s better if you are weighing down your feelings for her before you commit with each other. Being in a relationship is a serious thing while others just neglect it that’s why they end up broken. At some instance when both of you are not yet in a relationship, every thing seems fine. All is sweet and so romantic. But when you finally decided to commit, those good things turn bad. But thank goodness it only happens at “some” instances. Anyways, good luck to your love life. And thanks for sharing your story.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
First of all, why do we ever get involve in a relationship? Isn't it because we LOVE that person? I could never tell a person that I love him if I really don't. Well, if I am already in a relationship and just had a fight with my boyfriend then he suddenly he asks me to say I Love You to him, well, that, I can not do as well.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
You are right. Some relationships do end up just being together for convenience. And I feel sad about that. I hope mine won't turn that way in the future.
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
I know some people who are in a relationship just because they want some company. There are others who are married and don't love each other anymore. We are not sure of those words anymore unless you really kn0w that the person telling you is sincere. Action speaks LOUDER than words. Well, just LOUDER.
@BethelSophia (538)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
The word "I LOVE YOU" is not an easy word to speak without reality. It's a precious word that we can't play about. Yes, you're right that some people say the sacred word "I LOVE YOU" so easily to other people, that's why the i love you's this time can be seen anywhere and the meaning of it, the true meaning can't be seen and feel for some other people are misusing it. Your friend is indeed a real man, for he never misuse the word; he say it with sincerity and it must be. In my case, I don't say I love if I don't mean it and feel it. Every morning and every night I always say I love to my husband or I love you too. It depends upon who say it first. And we really mean it for our eyes and heart speaks it. I also say I love to my mom. I also say I love you to my siblings but not always. The word I love you must be spoken with sincerity.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Yes, a real man he is. 
Sooner, those words might lose it's meaning literally and
it would be sad that there may be times you said it but the ones hearing it is not believing you at all.
So, better not to say it, just show it. Indeed, action speaks louder than words.
Thanks for sharing!
Have a nice day ahead!
Sooner, those words might lose it's meaning literally and
it would be sad that there may be times you said it but the ones hearing it is not believing you at all.
So, better not to say it, just show it. Indeed, action speaks louder than words.
Thanks for sharing!
Have a nice day ahead! 
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
I was really that caught up that line in a song "said I love but I lied" I wasn't able to listen to the whole lyrics of that song only caught up with that phrase. With a smile on my lips wondering and a question mark on my forehead. We've been discussing that at home and laughing about it.
Saying I love you? With my three ex boyfriends I rarely say those words. I feels awkward for me to say "I love you" and I don't know why and if I say it I can't even look at him in the eyes. It was just puppy love then I was very young at that time. But with my boyfriend now, we've been together for 9 yrs. I can always say I love anytime, even every hour, moment by moment or anytime I feel to say so. Even in text messages, every text message sent to each other will always end with an "I Love you". Or If we just have nothing to say at all but want to know that I'm thinking of you an I love you is just enough for a text message.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
1 Oct 12
Before, I plan to get married when I am 27. But I am turning 28 this December and oh my, I am not yet married. I know marriage is not the answer as long you both love each other, it can wait. We sometimes experience quarrels, I know it's normal though but I would want to have no quarrels for some time. We are still on the verge of arguing who's the "mr/ms perfect" between the two of us.
We always quarrel on our differences. 
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
I started the discussion with a different subject.
But the time that I will post it, I changed my mind and think of another title that will caught lotters to read the post.
Well, I guess I made the right decision, and gotcha! 
Is it really true that you can't look at someone else's eyes when you are lying?
Haven't tried that. I always look at their eyes even though I am lying. Haha!
Well, that's for everybody in general. My boyfriend might read this and might thought that I always tell him lies. LOL
Good to hear that your relationship is already nine years. Are you not planning for marriage yet? 
As your story goes, I think you really have a nice relationship with your boyfriend now.
You always tell each other those magic words. My boyfriend and I seldom say those.
He always tells me that action speaks louder than words. Well, yes, it shows.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Have a nice day!
Is it really true that you can't look at someone else's eyes when you are lying?
Haven't tried that. I always look at their eyes even though I am lying. Haha!
Well, that's for everybody in general. My boyfriend might read this and might thought that I always tell him lies. LOL
Good to hear that your relationship is already nine years. Are you not planning for marriage yet?
As your story goes, I think you really have a nice relationship with your boyfriend now.
You always tell each other those magic words. My boyfriend and I seldom say those.
He always tells me that action speaks louder than words. Well, yes, it shows.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Have a nice day! @chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
30 Sep 12
I've heard from a psychologist saying that telling lies while looking at the person's eye is not measurement of truth and lie because it can be mastered in time specially when you get used to do that LOL. There was as time when me and my bf was arguing with something then he told me " look at me in the eye, I can even look at you" then I said it's not reliable it can be faked then he stopped.
Marriage? he's plan is to marry me when we both reach 28 years old and it will be next year. I don't know...maybe it will next year. I'm just waiting for God's perfect time.
Saying I love? Maybe it's just a matter of getting used to it. At first it feels awkward because I was not showy with what I felt to a boyfriend before I knew him. And as we get closer and closer to each other. We just became like more than just a lover, we're friends, best-friends I can say whatever I want to say. And that is the most important thing in a long lasting relationship " Friendship". Because as you get older and the longer you'll be together there will come a time that romance will fade but if there is friendship that's the only thing that will never fade and that will bind you both to grow old happily together.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
27 Sep 12
I know people who have done this before, and it is terrible. If you don't love that person, then be honest with them and don't lead them on. Playing with people's emotions can have a severe impact on things to come, and you never know how that person is going to behave or react if you lead them on or lie to them. Best to try to avoid something like that if you can.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Thanks!
As for me, I have never done that. I never lie when it comes to emotions.
I say I hate them if that's what I feel. I believe in karma, it's with us everyday.
Let's make our karma always in a good way. But surely what goes up must come down.
So, always be careful in saying those precious words.
As for me, I have never done that. I never lie when it comes to emotions.
I say I hate them if that's what I feel. I believe in karma, it's with us everyday.
Let's make our karma always in a good way. But surely what goes up must come down.
So, always be careful in saying those precious words. 
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
Some felt the love basing on the physical trait or appearance. Which is wrong I think.
How will a relationship go if both are good looking but doesn't have the sense of responsibility for the relationship?
I think all things should be lived in a balance way. Not just for love but for all things.
And yes, I don't believe in love at first sight. I think it's just an expression but in reality they are just amazed or astounded or bewitched by the look in someone's eyes. 
I think all things should be lived in a balance way. Not just for love but for all things.
And yes, I don't believe in love at first sight. I think it's just an expression but in reality they are just amazed or astounded or bewitched by the look in someone's eyes. 
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
27 Sep 12
this will surely be hurting the boys sentiments and make him so crazy if you ever do so.that is not appropriate ,its like playing with one's feelings
@ShyBear88 (59282)
• Sterling, Virginia
27 Sep 12
When me and my husband we have know each other for years so we never really know we loved each other till well after our first date. It wasn't hard for us to say I love you to each other. When we first saw each other I don't think either of us knew we loved each other nor had the ability to say it to each other. But we both knew we liked each other but never asked each other out. Pretty much we where thrown together by friends. We say I love you to each other all of the time.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
Aw, that’s cute! Is he your first boyfriend? Looks like you are really meant for each other. I have a friend with a story like yours. We are classmates and they’ve known each other for a long time. I was the first one to know that my guy friend likes my girl friend. Out of my curiosity, I asked my girl friend’s crush and she told me my guy friend’s name. So I told to each other about the situation then the guy courted the girl. They got married too and now have one daughter. It was kind of a fairy tale for them. Thanks for sharing your story. Have a great day ahead!
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
Of course, I did not say those magic words in my first encounter or date with my wife-to be. I will only utter those words only if I really feel the the spark and the unexplainable feeling of being jolted and my heart tells me to do so (sorry for my figurative words). Saying those words without thinking or the feeling is a grave thing to me. The receiver may construed it as the real thing and you already given false reassurance that it ws really "love".
On the other hand, I was raised by my parents to say "I love yous" everyday, going to school and upon retiring home, even embrace them and my brothers or simply a tap on the shoulder will do. That's why, it is a routine for me also now to do the same. I want to raise my kids that way too.
Thanks1 person likes this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Wow, that's so nice of you. I seldom see men with that kind of thinking as yours.
Keep it up! (as I know you will)
And your wife-to-be is so lucky to have a kind man like you.
Well. I don't hear my parents saying those words to each other since I was young.
Even so, I never thought that they don't love each other.
But now I am old enough and I know they don't love each other as they separate from each other.
That was sad, no more "family". I only have my mother with me.
I don't like my future family to be like my family. So I will try my everything to make our family the best place to stay for my future kids.
My parents raised me well though. It's just that some things really happen for a reason.
And some things happen unexpectedly that you cannpt control it yourself.
Good luck! Thanks for sharing your story.
Have a nice day!
And your wife-to-be is so lucky to have a kind man like you.
Well. I don't hear my parents saying those words to each other since I was young.
Even so, I never thought that they don't love each other.
But now I am old enough and I know they don't love each other as they separate from each other.
That was sad, no more "family". I only have my mother with me.
I don't like my future family to be like my family. So I will try my everything to make our family the best place to stay for my future kids.
My parents raised me well though. It's just that some things really happen for a reason.
And some things happen unexpectedly that you cannpt control it yourself.
Good luck! Thanks for sharing your story.
Have a nice day! 
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
30 Sep 12
Hi friend, it is really hard to convey our real love to our partner, if our love is sincere. Most of the persons will convey their love indirectly at the beginning. After having a good trust and understanding as well as friendship, they have the ability to tell the word i love you to their beloved one, surely it will take some time, if the love is a real one.
1 person likes this
Good to hear that there are still many people taking love seriously. Others play with it and it is so sad. 
@riyauro (6421)
• India
27 Sep 12
oh that is bad when one can't express their feeling in the relationship. My husband say i love you, almost 20 times in a day. i too. whenever he is in the city for work and calls me, he says love you and I too before putting the phone down. It is nice to hear love you from partner or better half. I think it is important to say it an also mean it with all your heart. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
1 person likes this
Wow, that is so sweet. My boyfriend does that I think once or twice A YEAR. LOL
Seriously, he's not saying those words to me. He just shows it.
But I prefer hearing those words or some time. 
@Murryluv59 (70)
•
27 Sep 12
I don't realise is a big deal to say i love you to your partner in other way i dont see it as a sin if its not confinent for you to tell your partner i love you because some guy and girl av tured it to song but is not from his/her heart,UR HEART IS MAINPART OF THE LOVE.
1 person likes this
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
I've experienced this kind of situation with my husband. We were currently dating that time for a month or so when i ask him if he loves me since i've never heard him say that. He told me that he can't answer that question yet since love for him has deeper meaning, and that he can only assure that he likes me a lot and that he never wanted to lie to me about it. Well he did told me at first that he isnt like the other guys i've met and he really isn't!
I do admire him for his honesty though when most of the guys would bluntly tell you they love you! Well, yes he is my husband and he actually tells me that he loves me mostly everyday now! Lol!
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
There are only few men left that are trustworthy and good you have one. It’s also good to know that there are really of existence because nowadays, as you said, some guys tell girls “I love you” but girls really never know when this is true. Hope you and your husband will do well forever. Thanks for sharing your story. Have a great day ahead.
@Ivy_Bubbles (169)
•
27 Sep 12
I didn't said i love you to my 1st bf because I really don't. So I was honest. I said "i love you" to my 2nd bf, only to find out that I wasn't really. I just thought I was. On my 3rd bf, I did not say the 3 words until i know that I'm sure of it and I really mean it. I guess, it's just about saying it to the right person and being real to these words. Honesty really is very important because these words entails commitment.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
That's good. At least, you learned something from experience on your second boyfriend.
It's like those words are so precious that once told, we get hooked to a feeling of confusion if it is really love.
Then, if we finally realized that it is not, we have already said it. In there, "regret" comes to the picture.
Thanks for sharing your story. Have a nice day!
