I Hate Constant Reminders!

United States
October 3, 2012 8:15pm CST
I was dating a guy and I hate to say this, but I totally fell in love with him. He led me to believe that he felt the same way, then something happened, I told him how I felt and then he suddenly didn't want anything to do with me any more. So, it was then time for the healing process to begin. But within a few days, I was being reminded of him, even when I was thinking that I was going to avoid him. For instance, I went to Walmart one day because I knew he would be at work that day and to my surprise, I seen him there. Then, I took my son to the county fair on a night that I didn't think he would be there and I seen him again, with another woman, this only being less than a week from when he stopped having anything to do with me. I went to work yesterday and I seen him pulling out from a restaurant that is next to the place I work. Then tonight I went to the grocery store and seen his truck sitting at a church. It just seems like either I'm trying to avoid him and I see him or I'm not even thinking about him at all and then BOOM, there he is. Every time I get these little reminders, it just cuts me like a knife and the pain comes back. He lives 50 miles away, so seeing him around all the time is just odd to say the least, I just don't understand it. What is the easiest way to deal with these sort of things? Have you ever had any situations like this before? How did you deal with it?
3 people like this
10 responses
@celticeagle (124708)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Oct 12
This is the way of things now days. As long as some men can get what they want from a women and it isn't confused by real emotions they are perfectly happy. But as soon as love enters into it then the guy is gone. But if a women waits until she has what she wants ( a manogomous relationship and commitment) it is a different story. Too few woman want to wait to have that though. Yes, I have had situations like this before until I realized the wait was better and what came after it was the real thing.
• United States
4 Oct 12
You know, I keep thinking about how I could have done things differently. I guess his smooth tongue just went a long way with me. I really want to do things different next time, so wish me luck!
2 people like this
@celticeagle (124708)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Oct 12
I would start by looking at the overall picture before jumping in with the emotions. Do you have cable? Millionaire Matchmaker is a great show. She tells like it is and how people should act in relationships.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Oct 12
I know where you're coming from. I fell completely in love with aa guy and he led me on. I noticed somethiing wasn't right, so i had to let him go. 2 days later (Yes, 2!) he was in a relationship with some girl... Everything constantly reminds me of him. Solution; You have to ask yourself that question every damn day til' you find the answer. "How am I going to deal with this?" It took me a while, and tons of changes, but it's something you have to do. I had to force myself to become someone different just so i wouldn't feel the pain or see the constant reminders. I loved who i was around him, and i loved him. But, thats life. "How am i going to deal with this today?" You just keep going at it until you find YOUR answer.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Oct 12
You are completely right. I do have to do something to change it. It won't be easy, but I have to. I'm honestly trying to move past it all, but I gotta stop trying and do it.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Oct 12
When you went to walmart knowing he was there you set yourself up to be hurt. so,now all you can o is deal with him not wanting you by moving on with your life. If your going to go out of your way to have your feelings hurt than you deserve to feel as bad as you do. if not then work on not being where you think he might be. that is till he is really out of your system. love can hurt real hard at times.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Oct 12
I went to walmart at a time that he should have been at work, not at Walmart. I never expected him to be there.
1 person likes this
@natliegleb (5180)
• India
4 Oct 12
it hurts and nettle us a lot and its the annoying situation to encounter,these kind of things make us feel we are not good and discourages us each time,i hate to see these things happen
2 people like this
@riyauro (6425)
• India
4 Oct 12
Oh I have been through it too and it hurts yes. though we had nothing and even that person did not know me, i would get hurt seeing him with other women. it hurts and I use to see him all the time because our town was a small one and he was into bus business so yeah, i used travel by bus..lol.. anyway you have to deal with it and try not to see it that way. ignore because he is happy and you need to be happy as well. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
2 people like this
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
We all have fallen in love with the wrong person and dealing with it is obviously uneasy. All the more since we keep on bumping into each other. I understand how you feel, it must really be annoying to bump into this guy who you spelt your beans to but decided to ignore you instead, perhaps he feels that you're trying to stalk him - the nerve!! I probably would just ignore and let him think instead of me. I'd do the things i want to and no linger worry if we bump into each other. I'd treat him like air. Guess life has a funny way to play with us at times. But heck we just need to live it! Have a great mylot experience ahead!
2 people like this
@adnileb (5195)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
I have experienced that kind of situation where you see your ex-boyfriend almost every time. I see mine almost everyday because we work on the same company, same building but gladly not the same floor. It's fine with me because I don't have that enough feelings for him before to not get over him now. Besides, I have my present boyfriend now and I am happy. In your situation, I think it's kinda hard since you really fell for him. Everyday, you will get used to it and then you will eventually forget him. It takes time so be patient. For the mean time, just enjoy and focus to other things. You are still thinking of him that's why you receive constant reminders of him. Have a nice day!
2 people like this
• Canada
4 Oct 12
Everytime you see him just tell yourself, even if you have to say it aloud, that he's nothing but a great big azz hole, and you don't need him!
1 person likes this
@winterose (39892)
• Canada
6 Oct 12
Well to me it seems odd that he is hanging around so much if he lives 50 miles away. But nevertheless, you can't go into hiding because of him. After all he is flaunting himself all about town. It takes time to get over someone, there are no easy answers for this. You just have to stick it out and stay strong. The day you can see him again with another woman and not even blink is the day you know you are truly over him.
• United States
6 Oct 12
I guess I was lucky when my children's father left after 5 1/2 years of us being together. I was devastated, but I wasn't forced to see him as you have been. In fact it was five months before we had any kind of contact again. Even still, the pain was raw for what seemed like forever. The way I resolved the pain, and what may help you is to sing a silly song every time you see him or think about him. I chose the theme song from the Banana Splits show (the original one, not the reboot they did a couple of years ago). It was hard at first, but singing the song each and every time a thought about him crossed my mind flooded out those thoughts. After a while I didn't need to sing the song as often, and then not at all. Its hard to continue to be hurt while singing a silly song. I'll leave you the link for the YouTube video for the Banana Splits, but if that doesn't work you may want to find your own silly song to sing. Banana Splits Show *NOT A REF LINK* http://youtu.be/wnfWN-hyF5c