What do you think about age difference in relationships?
By phoenix1344
@phoenix1344 (698)
United States
October 3, 2012 9:02pm CST
I have to say, before meeting my fiance I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it. I always thought 'to each their own' for those that dated someone significantly older or younger, but I had personally always dated people within months of my own birthday and year.
But then I met my fiance who happens to be just shy of ten years older than me. At first I was a little weirded out as I was getting to know him. While I personally didn't notice a huge difference I think I was more afraid of what my family and friends would think.
Surprisingly all of the family and friends that mattered were very open minded and the less I worried about what others thought about it, the less I cared. Because to be honest, I dont even notice the age difference. I think what really matters is how the couple relates to one another, whether or not there is respect and love and if it continues to be a healthy relationship, why should age matter?
Now I find it funny when I tell people our age difference (me being 23 and him being 32) and see people get all uncomfortable with it. Because I'm over it and now a definite believer that age really IS just a number! (unless, in regards to a minor of course!)
Anyways, my lotters, what do you think?
3 people like this
19 responses
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
31 Oct 12
My wife is 7 years younger than me, here in india the wife is usually few years younger than the husband, though there are exceptions, in very rare cases a man will marry a woman older than him.
Thanks for this discussion,
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
20 Oct 12
Ten years is nothing, that's been the norm for me in the second half of my life. My third wife was 17 years younger, and we split for reasons which had nothing to do with the age difference.
Not so long back I was living with a girl 36 years younger, and that most definitely was a problem, since in the end I simply couldn't keep up with her sexually. But ten years, hell - in five years time it will be completely unnoticeable. What matters is the degree of connection and love.
Lash
@GemmaR (8517)
•
4 Oct 12
I don't think that you can give an answer for sure about this, because it honestly does depend on the two people. If you both want the same things from your relationship then the age gap might not be a problem at all, but obviously if one of you is at college and wants to party the whole time while the other wants to start settling down and starting a family then it might be a little bit more of a problem. But you should never rule out being with someone because of your age, as you might be sacrificing your chance of being happy for no reason.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
6 Oct 12
I don't really think age matters that much. Some people mature more than others. The only time it could be a problem is if the difference is vast and the two people have little in common. If your relationship is working is all that matters, no matter what others may think!
@ShyBear88 (59282)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Oct 12
I don't see a big deal about there being an age difference. I know between me and my husband there isn't much of an age difference we graduated the same year of high school together. He is 6 months younger then me. My parents are 3 years a part.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
Age doesn't matter , age is just a number , the values , character is what counts in an individual. Age would never be a problem if the two people truly love each other, they won't be seeing each other differences but only their resemblances. What is important her is both jibes each other , understanding is there and the love and respect , if all these things are just around , then all falls into place.A beautiful relationship will flourish and will last. My special someone is younger than i am but you know what , he is the one adjusting for me , he is so matured than me and tries to work and adjust so things will run smoothly. Love conquers all..
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
i think it does not matter that much when people have relationships such as this.. :D age does not matter that much anymore. i believe when love is true, when you get along... it does not matter really how many years the gap is.. i think what matters is how you are able to show your love for each other... and yes some people may be uncomfortable with the idea, i still think that even if that is the case, they should not really matter because it is your relationship and not theirs!
@Christoph56 (1504)
• Canada
4 Oct 12
I think that age does really matter... in many studies that they've done, from surveys of married couples, and people in relationships, they find that the happiest couples, that work the best together, are right in your position, the man being about 10 years older then the woman.
And who can blame them? Women like a man who is mature and in control of his life, while men like a woman who's vibrant and wild, so the 10 year gap works out quite well. The only bad thing, really, is that women generally live longer then men, but that's not something you'll even have to think about, for a long, long, long time to come.
@pals101 (2010)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
For me, age really doesn't matter at all. As long as you felt the connection and love from both parties then that is all that matters. Having the trust and sincerity creates loyalty among each other.
I ex-girlfriend is older than me, maybe 5 years..but we do have great time together, we split up not because of our age gap but with other reason. 
Anyway, i have a new girl right now, and I'm 5 years older than her. But I know she loves me so much..I can feel it. She doesn't mind our age.. That makes me love her more..
Anyway, i have a new girl right now, and I'm 5 years older than her. But I know she loves me so much..I can feel it. She doesn't mind our age.. That makes me love her more..
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
4 Oct 12
I really don't think age difference matters in relationships. If a couple are meant for each other, they will be together no matter if there are 1, 10 or more years between them. A family friend of mine is still happily married for 20+ years to his 15 years older wife.
@STOUTjodee (3572)
• United States
4 Oct 12
Age IS just a number! I've dated men that were usually 10 years older than I and we had no problem with communicating on any level. Now I'm happily married to a man that's two years younger than me. The age doesn't matter, it's the maturity of a person.
@Tam1204 (59)
• United States
4 Oct 12
My partner and I are 9 years apart. We are older. I am 42 and she is 51. I think that an age difference is more accepted by society in older couples than in younger ones. I think it is easier to overcome when people get older also. A lot of times younger couples do not survive an age difference because each person has different goals in life.
@JinBinLai (52)
• China
4 Oct 12
My father is 13 years elder than my mother, and they have gotten well along with each other for about 25 years, we have a harmonious family, we have a happy life. So I think age is not the distance.
On the other hands, I don't mind the female is elder in the couple ,either. A couple of years ago, I chased a girl who is 2 years elder than me, I failed finnally, I think it was our personality difference lead to seperate, I don't think it was the age. A person's mental age is not equal to the physical age.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
Your age difference isn't that big as compared to others like the Hollywood celebrities. A generational difference can complicate a relationship simply because our experiences — and even our values — are shaped by the world in which we grew up. Imagine trying to text message a partner who is still figuring out how to use a cell phone. Granted, that is a fairly simplistic example, but there are bigger issues, as well. Think about biological changes that take place while we age: lower libido, menopause, possible erectile dysfunction and hormonal depletion. Our peers may understand these changes, but a partner who is significantly younger may not be prepared to face them at that point in time.
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
4 Oct 12
Hi,
No problem with that, My wife is ten years younger than me and we get along fine. It is only a matter of mutual understanding between the two parties and eventually age does not matter anymore in terms of preferences and views. When one party does not make extra effort to level off with the other, then misunderstanding and the fireworks begin.
@Mashnn (4501)
•
4 Oct 12
If you are a lady, I think there is nothing wrong with an age gap of 10 years. It does not seems like a big thing to me.
@cjjack25 (9)
• United States
4 Oct 12
Id have to say I agree with you, cause coming from my personal experience if you really really like that person, its not going to be the age that matters the most. Its going to be the connection that yall make together that matters. yes in some cases age does matter, cause say a person is 17 and their dating a 21 year old...there could be a slight problem cause they may not be able to do everything together. In the long run though, if they really like each other, that connection is there, and they care enough to understand where each one is coming from then it shouldnt matter the age.
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
I don't see any problem with that actually. As long as the couple is committed to love, support and understand each other. I am actually eight years older than my hubbiness and we are just doing great. There were loads of arguments and misunderstanding but we always come up with great solutions to it. We live a normal happy life.
