What do you think about love before marriage and after marriage?

Thanks for the reply and sorry for my late reply jenny. I guest you the first wife side that has express your real life experience in my discussion. Thanks again. Your post here really should attract most attention from readers here but unfortunately maybe no one boarder to read others post reply but only the discussion topic. Sorry for that. I would like to ask you, are you sure that your husband love has lessen? Or is it because he has more other new thing he must pay attention and give priority? Things like looking for money for family and growing the kids, things like more towards kids instead of you or he has more outside activity without you? If the last one is the answer, then it's a bit problem but still can be settled. If the other 2, then it's normal and it's just you are the kind of good lover and very sensitive to any changes. Man usually will less paying attention to partner when they have a lot of responsibility, because they have to grown the family, you must accept that. What you say?

I can there's a problem there because he still acting like he's not married and hang around with friends. The kids are not with you then the house is so quite and boring. Is your kids staying with you or with your in-law? They could help to cherish the house instead calling friend to house and hanging around. I think your husband come from rich family and that's why he never care about job. So, this is disadvantage to your family cause the house leader is not functioning. Now, since he work with his brother, I think it would give some release to you. I think you must be very boring at home cause not getting attention from him, I suggest you to talk to his brother to consult him. On your part, I suggest you to make the house and the atmosphere to be at excellent condition so that he will feel comfortable at home. Another thing is that, make yourself as younger as you could though this would be impossible but at least you try.

Well actually, for the last 9 years he has been just staying in the house without work. So being busy with work and looking for money is not the reason. He is mostly with his friends. Either they go to his friend's house or gamble or have his friends come over the house and spend all day just hanging around. I try to earn something for the family coz I don't feel comfortable begging from either my parents and in laws although my in laws have pledged to send all my kids to school until they finish College. I am grateful for that. So now, do you see what kind of life I have been living? Gladly he was taken in by his brother to be part of his team in doing a new project. My brother in law is an architect. So practically the role of my husband was just to look after the workers everyday.

"The beauty of really loving someone though is that you value their happiness more than your own" I like your above magic words about love. Means that you really know one part of love ingredient. We love someone is to make her happy. The way we make it, it's depends on the situation, but the important thing is that our companion happy if possible, forever. It's seems you have no good faith in love yet. I suggest you to keep this theory in mind, each time you break off, make sure you use this opportunity to get replacement with a new one which is better, prettier, smarter, richer and younger than the one that has left you. Then prepare yourself mentally and materially before you enter into a marriage relationship. It's very different from the one that you have right now. But if you well prepared, you will have no problem at all in getting married even though you never love her before or you just love her a little. What you say?

To get one true love is difficult and we never know if we really loving the right person and we also actually not sure if we will be able to love her forever. But, we still can manage it so that we can love each other forever. But we must keep looking for it and should never give up. I hope that this one is your true love and hope you will maintain loving each other forever. Just do not rush on this matter, make yourself prepared, she as well, so that you can love her now and still and more after your marriage. It's very joyful and harmonize if we can love each other before and after marriage. Good luck.

Yes I agree that my last relationship wasn't true love or marriage love but we both still love each other but it's not romantically. I was just saying that I loved her so much and I could tell that she wasn't happy so I didn't want to hold her back from being happy. I think that I may have found true love this time though. My new girlfriend and I have been dating for about five months now and she really seems like shes the one. I'm trying not to rush into things too fast again but things are really easing along quick and everything is real comfortable. I'm trying not to have any doubt or worries about our relationship. I just really look forward to creating a life with her.

Thanks for reply and sorry for my late reply cloud. I think you are praying here. . It's not a joke or simply I create the story. There will be different before and after marriage. That's why I always mentioned in my earlier replied to members that we have to prepare mentally. I wish I could use the word the psychology of marriage and love. Well, I tell you one secret, if you can mentally prepared for not being loved by your husband (which originally your lover), then you can have a long love relationship with your lover then he become your husband. Actually, it's not that your husband not love you, but he hide it or cannot express it, because he already have you the one the he loves. All you have to do, just don't let him have any chance to have secret "someone". You know how and where to trace it? On every person good friend, ie. cellphone. What you say?

That's very funny the way you describe love before marriage. Should I say that love before marriage we can consider like HYIPS? Hehehe... Yes, love before marriage has no serious commitment but love after marriage full of commitment. That the obvious different between both. But, base on my experience, the commitment after the marriage can make the love more powerful than the love before marriage. In another words, it will make you happier.

Yes that's the challange of long love relationship Ynrhea. After we life with the one that we love for a long time, then only all the negative will come out. Here, we must have some feeling like don't like or being tricked before we got married. Especially for a guy, though we know girl very secrecy, but guy actually have more hidden stuff. That's usually girl can't accept after marriage, especially about secret lover. On the girl side, usually guy will feel boring with their fussy style in everything. But when they lazy, guy still can accept it. These are just 2 examples. There are many more to consider.

Hi ggubatina09, thanks for replied. It's a normal situation where loving couple ruin their love after marriage. That's why we see many divorces couple and many unhappy with their marriage. It's difficult to stop the situation cause it's everybody's life and decision. I was attracted to your statement that you want to test your life living with your future husband before getting married. Did I understand it correctly? I think this style usually used by chinese people. Are you chinese? Well, from my experience, it was mental preparation that is very important when thinking towards marriage. For ladies especially, it's very hard for them to accept their couple after knowing the bad habits and attitude of her couple. But usually ladies especially from asian will try to absorb it quietly.

I agree with your point, love should be cherished and it's individuals rights to choose to get into love, want to love someone before or after marriage, there's no law about this. I want to add here, then when we have found our love and we think it's the right time and the right one and the right person, do you think we should consider to make that situation continuously to be all the way in our life till after we get married with the one that we love? I think you will say yes to this question and what will happen we never know. And we have seen many couple get divorce, some girls kill themselves because of frustration. The point I want to highlight here is that, if we have found one good love, we better appreciate it and care about it till we get married and till the end of our life. It's so nice when we live with the one that we love till the end of our life. With love we will be more useful person, caring and happy living our life. Without love, one will be so lonely.

Thanks for replying me GemmaR. I agree with your idea that we should love the one that we love the same as before and after marriage. It's was a dream by everyone, girls especially. But noted that times has change and anything could might just change our feeling towards love. Some more towards material, some towards other people and many more factors. Then I think it's difficult to maintain such the same love over period of time. What you think after taking consideration of period of time, age and other people surrounding us?

Wow! I believe you must have beautiful wife, I'm I right? Yes that's the way we want to have from our relationship with our love one and wife. This will make we live like in heaven, we get motivated and self confident from our house till at the work place. This will more promote our better living and further success in our life. What else I forgot to mention here?