---the incompatibility....
By hlfbldmom
@hlfbldmom (743)
Philippines
November 18, 2012 9:18am CST
"What counts on a happy relationship/marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility".
Nobody's prefect, especially in intimate relationships. Disagreements are bound to happen (and if they're not, somebody is not speaking up). Like me and my boyfriend when we are together we always have disagreements in everything it's either shopping list or the household chores. Or if we already had enough of disagreements it's either me is not talking up, he usually gets upset but after a minute he is fine unlike me if I get upset it took a day or two. And in the midst of conflict, it's often tempting to point finger at our partner and place blame there first. Which I always did, I blame him every time we had an arguments. It can be very hard to take responsibility and begin to look inward at what we can do differently.We raise our voices, we heart the others feelings, we exaggerate, and often misunderstanding occurs. In the end of the day we still appreciate our partner and we still understand them despite of all the disagreements and the exaggerations.
2 people like this
14 responses
@somupriti (353)
•
20 Nov 12
You are true my dear it is the incompatibility to deal with to lead a successful relationship. It is also an individual parameter to deal with the factor t his own flexibility. To you, you have got a nice partner just get adjust little to be frank and open up to lead a smooth life.
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
20 Nov 12
Yeah somupriti!. you are right. That's what I am trying to do now, not to keep silent when we have and arguments. Need to speak up to him and be more open for what I feel. Thank you!
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
19 Nov 12
Yeah, incompatibility will be lots of adjustments and bit difficult but if you both love each other you can work it out. Me and my boyfriend has lots of incompatibility but we work hard for it to work out and now our relationship are more stronger than before. Hoping that we still can work out all through out especially now that we are having a li'l one.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
18 Nov 12
You pressed the right button by saying: we misunderstand... this is the biggest problem most people have. We communicate different (because of culture, language, character, the way we are raised, gender, age, life experiences, etc etc). It's hard to change that. So the only thing we can do is ask ourself what is worth fighting for and what not. It sounds very exhausting to me to fight over a shoppinglist. I also find it hard to believe you still understand and appreciate eachother at the end of the day. If you fight about so many things (I hope you are not and this is just an example) this will cost both of you a lot of stress, your health and there will come a time you won't appreciate eachother anymore.
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
We always had disagreements on shopping list because of the veggies thing which I am very picky in veggies but just a small arguments not to the point that we are getting stress because of it. We've been on that point already that he don't appreciate me anymore but I still appreciate him (haha) but now everything is fine!. Our relationships getting more stronger. He realized that his life is incomplete without me.Thank you WakeUpKitty!
@puiuioandaniel (182)
• Romania
18 Nov 12
I'm totally agree with this quote. The problems in a relationship could be solved if the partners talk about any problem. If there was enough comunication, the relationship could work despite of incompatibility.
@habibti320 (925)
• United States
18 Nov 12
I think that along with good communication, you need empathy and respect to make the relationship work.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
hi hlfbldmom,
The INCOMPATIBLE i would say is the most compatible. Those who have the same interest seem like no Challenge. For me it is boring.Having disagreements are quite natural in a relationship,Relationship is not perfect either. However its always good to solve your problems with in a day or before the you sleep. So tomorrow is a new day of love and happiness again. Good luck and god bless to you,your partner and future baby.
@valerievy (162)
• Guam
19 Nov 12
I agree with you. Two people who are more or less likely incompatible are usually the most compatible in the end because they will have more experience with being open-minded to one another's differences. Working out their differences are what will bring them closer together. Their incompability is what will help them grow as a couple.
@gilenie (190)
•
18 Nov 12
yeah dealing with your incompatibility is what more important hope i soon be able to find a guy who is compatible to me lol ...
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
Sometimes being too much compatible is boring hehe...I wish you will find someone that is compatible with you and even you have lots of differences yet you can work it out!.Goodluck sis!
@allknowing (130292)
• India
19 Nov 12
That feeling one gets "After the storm, comes the calm, after the calm comes the sunshine' is only possible if there are disagreements. And disagreements are a part of relationships.
@arreolabryan (856)
• Philippines
26 Nov 12
Perfect is achievable when you can have a happy life together. :) The important thing is your happy :)
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
19 Nov 12
Yes.. being compatible is really important in dealing with relationships.At first you are to adjust yourself, make your company comfortable.In relationship we all encounter in misunderstanding,broke-ups, argument and etc. But if you really love your partner and you really understand her, no matter what arguments, or trouble you may have , in the end of the day you just find yourself in his arms again.
@jdalaqui (1073)
• Philippines
19 Nov 12
the nature od man is to point he blame to the other. men can easily do that thinking or assuming that they are right. When men will just humble down and look at how wrong they are many times, relationship could be honed to the best. The women should take their patience here because men will not give up their pride.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
19 Nov 12
Yes, opposite attracts. No same things attract for they will just repell. Anyway, I am glad you found a misunderstanding man in your life and not self centered one. If you just did find one who will never surrender in any fight and never give in to one's opinion, then you are doomed. Or you will be the one to give in. happy for you
@valerievy (162)
• Guam
19 Nov 12
Two people who are more or less likely incompatible are usually the most compatible in the end because they will ahve more experience with being open-minded to one another's differences. Working out their differences is what will bring them closer together. Their incompability will help them grow as a couple.
