Do You Believe Her Story?

Valdosta, Georgia
December 5, 2012 11:17am CST
Okay so my husband has this friend who came over to our house the other night in tears... Here is the deal. He has been with his girlfriend for a month and a half. He got her pregnant, supposedly. All of a sudden out of no where she told him she wants to have an abortion. He REALLY wants this child though and does not want her to do this. She told him she wants an abortion because she is scared of complications during another labor. To me, here is what I think... I think the timing IS off, I think she KNOWS this child does not belong to him and instead of coming out and telling him and possibly losing him she wants an abortion so she can still have the guy she wants and does not have to face possibly losing him in her life. So, the abortion in her mind is the easy way out...He will never find out the baby is not his and she gets to keep the guy. Too bad she is breaking his heart because he wants this baby more than anything! So, what do you think the real reason is for her wanting an abortion? And should we tell him our REAL opinion of whats going on?
7 people like this
41 responses
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
5 Dec 12
"scared of complications during ANOTHER labor". Without knowing the whole story that right there makes me ask if she already has kids. If so it would be easy to believe that she suffered complications from the last one. He seems to be getting ahead of himself anyways. They've only known each other 1.5 months. Are they even living together yet?
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
5 Dec 12
She could also just be panicing. She's only known him a short while & probably isn't sure she wants to start a family with him yet. I can understand your suspecians though...
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
6 Dec 12
A month and a half is long enough for her to get pregnant and just find out for sure that she is. It really is a good possibility that he could be the dad. Also an equally good possibilty that he is not. I think you should walk away from this one. He got himself into this situation. I'd just be there for him as a friend but I'd not pass judgement as to her motives or anything without knowing her.
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Dec 12
It could be but it just seemed weird to me that they have not been together that long, she had someone else right before him like a few days before they met... It seems weird to me, her story just doesn't add up in my mind! But she could be telling the truth, who knows I guess...
@betty1989 (751)
• China
5 Dec 12
we canot tell the baby is not your friend's since we have no proof to it. We just guess. The right thing you should do ask your friend to have a check in the hospital with his girlfriend. Doctor will tell how long she is pregnant. Then, your friend will know whether this baby is his or not.
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Dec 12
Right we have no proof, it just seemed a little odd to me the way everything happened with it... It seemed like she was hiding something. Yeah I will let him know if she does keep it to get a dna test done...
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
6 Dec 12
tell your friend a dna test can be done after the abortion also. then he can find out if she lied and hes better off without her. in my opinion, if she didnt want the baby she should have taken precautions. abortion is not birth control method i would not even see how she would think he can love her for even suggesting such a thing. if you love someone why would you not want his baby? i dont think she loves nor deserves him
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
I completely agree with everything you said here! She is no good for him or anyone else. Abortion is not a way out of anything and I know she will regret it later on...
@peavey (16936)
• United States
5 Dec 12
A month and a half? Six weeks? Is she sure she's pregnant? If she really is, I would wonder about the timing, too. But I don't think I would interfere because we may not be right. It could be his, who knows? If they can't agree on this, they don't have a good basis for a relationship anyway, so it's better to find out now than a few years (and kids) down the line.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
5 Dec 12
How sad.
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Dec 12
Yeah, they said she is in fact pregnant. The problem is she was with another guy days before they met, so how can she tell him it is definitely his baby? She doesn't know that for sure! I think she knows its not his she just doesn't want to lose him... Oh I agree, it is most likely not going to last. I would just hate for him to find out its not his if she decides to keep it and he gets more heart broken than he is now...
@Chispa514 (871)
• Montreal, Quebec
6 Dec 12
Although the story sounds rather fishy, she COULD be telling the truth. I mean there IS a SLIGHT possibilty that it could be his. Depends on how far along she is claiming to be. I don't agree with abortion at all, so I don't think her "excuse" is any valid reason at all to have it done. In this day and age, medical science has improved so much, that you rarely hear about complications during labor. Yes, it does happen, but not often. And just because she may have had complications during a previous labour doesn't mean it'll happen again. But you're right, something doesn't sound right....unless (now here's another possibility)...she never was pregnant to begin with, and is using the abortion tactic as a way to get out of it without having to claim having a miscarriage. Sure is something to think about though, hope your husband's friend figures it out quick, cause IF its either a)its NOT his child, or c) she never was pregnant...he needs to think about if this is really the type of girl he wants to be with.
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Dec 12
It might be true. Unfortunately this girl has a past of doing this to other people as well which is why I feel the way I do about it... The first guy she was with, she cheated on him and got pregnant with her first child. He left her. (I don't blame him). So, this is why I think she has done it again but this time she doesn't want to lose the guy shes with like last time. So, she is going to lie and say she wants an abortion to try to get out of the LIE! I know she might have changed but as soon as I heard she wants an abortion and the reason she gave it just triggered this thought in my head! I could not help it. I cannot understand why anyone would have an abortion but thats just me... Your right there are other things like maybe she was never pregnant. She didn't go to the doctor with him to prove it, she took a home test while he was at work supposedly and told him when he got home...
@JamesKYTan (1605)
• Malaysia
6 Dec 12
You said that your husband's friend got his girl friend pregnant and mentioned that she is scared of complications during another labor. This means she had previously failed pregnancy before. Your husband wants the unborn child and obviously loves children. So if he loves children and his girl does not want to get pregnant, then break off the relationship. Unless as you suspected she is having someone's child. My advice is to confront her the it is a sin to kill an unborn foetus or is she hiding her secrets. For a family to be complete it must come as a package, to have children.
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Dec 12
Her first labor was hard but the baby was fine and he is healthy. She didn't have anything major that she went through at all! She cheated on the guy she was with to have her first child. He left her. So I think she cheated again and doesn't want to lose this guy too so she wants to have the abortion so he does not find out she cheated on him.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I just want to know a few things: How long have you known the couple? what is the woman's reputation that made you think that she must be carrying another man's child? I think that whether it was his boyfriend's child or not, she still should have the heart to continue with her pregnancy? Doesn't she fear at least sad for losing her child?
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
18 Dec 12
May God bless her soul....... I hope she realizes that maybe by the time she would be ready to have a baby, she might not have that chance.
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Dec 12
Her reputation is not good. She cheated on the first guy she had a child with. Turns out it was not his baby. Sound familiar??? Lol. That is why I am worried, as soon as she said she wanted the abortion that's the first thing I thought of. She knew the last guy she did this to ended it and never looked back... So she thinks if this guy finds out he will do the same. Instead of admitting to him what happened she thinks an abortion is the easy way out I suppose...
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
6 Dec 12
This is a sticky problem. She is carrying a baby sired by a different man and the present man is ignorant about it? That's weird. Since he has been with her he can claim co owner of the unborn baby. I am sure he has his part of contribution too. Whether or not he is the real father I think this girl shouldn't abort her pregnancy as the boyfriend truly wants the baby and that could possibly make their relationship stronger.
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
Yes, it is a very sticky situation. This is her second child, the first one she cheated on the guy as well... I agree, I don't think she should have an abortion. I think she should tell him the truth. Knowing him he will stick with her anyway...
@cobalt20 (1318)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Abortion is not a unnecessary reason. Your friend must take care of her baby. It is ok without the presents of her boyfriend or husband. We want that baby to be healthy when he or she grows.
• Valdosta, Georgia
14 Dec 12
I think abortion is wrong in most situations, this one included. I agree with you, she should worry about the baby she helped to create!
@celticeagle (156249)
• Boise, Idaho
6 Dec 12
Another labor? So she has had other children? Red flags should go up for him. She must have some other reason for wanting an abortion. I think that if this guy asked me right out what I thought I would tell him the truth. This is just one more scenario that proves what I say all the time. People need to get to know eachother better before jumping in the sack together. They let their hormones take over and don't get to know eachother then, after the fact, they start learning things that are not good. They should have atleast been using some type of contraceptive until they knew eachother better, had been together for awhile and had the kinks all ironed out and were ready for a child. As things stand now it is just a big mess.
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
She has one other child. Which she cheated on the guy she was with at the time to have...Just saying. For me, red flags would go up and did go up like crazy! My husband has been hinting it to him but the guy just seems to want to believe her lies. He also said her past is her past. I guess right now he is wearing rose colored glasses. He will find out the truth soon enough. I completely agree with you, they had no business sleeping together in the first place and they definitely should have been wearing protection!!
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
What's her reason? She's scared of the complications during another labor? Why is she thinking about another labor? Did she give birth already? Is it her second baby? Oh, her reason is not reasonable. She should tell him the truth about the baby if it's not his. If he accepts her, then she's lucky. If he really loves her,he can name that baby after him.Though some men don't consider those babies their real children. There's always a gap. Let's wait for her to tell him the real reason.I guess she's confused.
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
She has had one child already. She cheated on the guy she was with the first time too! That is what worries me with this one... I think if she tells him the truth soon that he will stay with her. He is falling for her hard. He sees nothing bad in her at all, he is really good to her but I am sure once he finds out all of her lies he will not be happy at all.
• China
6 Dec 12
Well through your hypothesis it is really complicated... But it just a hypothesis,why not to ask that girl directly?I mean this man to have a long conversation with that girl and try to get the reason of that girl in a peace way,may be it is not as complicated as we thought,and for that girl,get abortion is not good for her health,so she really need to think about it deeply.
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Dec 12
I don't know the girl, not personally anyway. I have heard of her past issues and I met her once. Her first child, she cheated on the guy she was with and he found out later that it was not his kid. So, looking at her past...That is why I think what I think here...
• China
6 Dec 12
Many reasons have occured to my mind. And it is hard for us to decide whether the woman has cheated on her boyfriend. It can be accounted that she hasn't got married so she didn't want to take the risks under no any legal protection. If their relationship someday broke, the woman will have to breed the baby on her home and she will not get any economic compensation. Another rason is that she haven't made up her mind, and getting pregnant is out of their imagination. The male got surprised on the news but the female may hold a far-sighted view. Perhapes she has not been ready to take the burden and responsibility to be a parent. She might get afraid that she will not be able to act as a good mum. The third maybe your imagination. It could happen that she got another man's kid, and she could not imagine what would happen if her boyfriend got this news, so she decided to keep it secret so as to protect this relationship.
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
I am not saying she cheated on him. I am saying that I don't think this baby is his. She was with another guy a couple days before she got with this guy... She cannot possibly know who's baby this is but she is telling this guy all the time that it is his baby. She already is a parent to another child. I don't think its right for her to keep a secret from him, especially not one this big!
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Maybe your assumptions are right. Maybe this girlfriend just want to rid her baby for the purpose of keeping a secret. Or maybe this girlfriend has mental problems. No sane woman will kill her child... A mother will always love her child no matter what circumstances she is having. Or maybe she just love herself too much and thinking that the child in her womb will be like a thorn in her free life. Where did she came from? Is she a decent woman? It looks like she is one of those who used their body just for living the life they want... I pity your husband's friend. I pity the child she didn't want to give birth. I pity her stupidity, insanity and sinful life.
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
Maybe I am... I don't know, her past tells me something is not right with her story. I agree that there must be something wrong with her to be able to do this just for her own selfish reasons. Yeah it is a horrible thing she is doing...
@Domz27 (1)
6 Dec 12
Something wrong with that pregnant girl, she know that abortion is one of the big sin.. We need to know first the real reason why that girl want an abortion. Hope the boyfriend can fight for his baby.
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Dec 12
Yeah there is something wrong for her to want to kill her child so the guy won't find out the truth!
• United States
5 Dec 12
It does sound pretty fishy but there is nothing you can do about it. If you tell him what you think, you might end up losing a friend. It happens all the time and the person will stick up for their mate until the bitter end, and leave you in your tracks. You don't want that to happne LMB. If HE brings this up, then it would be ok to talk about what you think too, but it's touch and go if you do. It's sad all the way around but I do think you should stay out of this one....especially since you have absolutely no proof. You can think all you want about what you feel doesn't sound right, and it gives me suspicions too, but sometimes it's better to stay in the shadows. What do you think of this girl personally?...besides what has happened.
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Dec 12
I know there is nothing I can do about it. I am staying out of it. Once he figures it out my husband will be there for him. For now I will just keep my thoughts to myself. I don't want to hurt him more than he is already hurt. Honestly, I have no thoughts on the girl. I have met her one time for a matter of minutes. But I don't like the past that she carries with her... That is more where my problem comes in. She has a history of cheating and a bunch of other messy situations... My husbands friend just looks past all of that though, he says her past is the past. Oh well, I just hate seeing people hurt is all...
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Dec 12
That does sound a bit suspicious to me if you ask me as well. Plus they hadn't been together that long only 1 month and a half. I think instead of just trying to cover it up that it might not be his why can't she just be honest with him. I think that will be less hurtful to him. Then just lying to him and having him think that it is his baby and that she wants to abort it. I think she knows for a fact that it isn't his, and just doesn't want to say. Does the guy know that she was with someone else a couple of days before they got together. If not, then what a way to start off a relationship. Is she sure she's pregnant though? I feel really sorry for your friend and for the unborn baby.
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
Yeah it just seems weird to me that after a week of knowing she was pregnant all of a sudden now she wants an abortion?!? Why? I think she should be honest as well but she has a past of things like this... So I should not be surprised I guess. He knows she was with someone a few days before they got together but he still wants to believe it is his child. I guess he has rose colored glasses on right now...
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
5 Dec 12
Sorry but what you say she told is way too less for me to make a the story out of it you made. Sounds to me 1. you do not like her, 2. you already labelled her and made up your mind/story about her. There are plenty of reasons why she "suddenly" wants an abortion. The short relationship (no security) is one of them. Being afraid of a relationship changing because of pregnancy is an other one. 1.5 month I can hardly call a relationship at all. It's impossible to know eachother very well and to say you will stay together. It would scare me if I would be pregnant after 1.5 month without having a past together first. Also I would not believe that friend of your husband at all. Having a child/wanting a child after only 1.5 month relationship is strange as well. Sounds to me he is way more interested in having that child as in the mother. So if I was his girlfriend I would end the relationship and take care of the child alone or have an abortion as well (since this guy would probably bother her or stalk her without an end). A relationship of 1.5 month would not sound save nor give me enough security to start a family with. Being pregnant, change of hormons, taking care of a baby is a lot/enough. It's impossible to invest in a relationship as well if you are at that point.
@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
5 Dec 12
I didn't think of that point. However, now that you brought it up, it sounds creepy to want to suddenly have a family with someone you have only been dating 1.5 months and for benefit of the doubt perhaps talked to every now and then unless the friend was talking about her all the time. Personally, I wouldn't have the abortion, but that is me not everyone else. She may think an abortion is better for her case. Another scenario now coming to mind is she could be saying it for an escape or she just isn't ready. It is a lot to deal with and even if he has values of taking care of a child he manages to conceive, it might not sit that well with her.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
5 Dec 12
Some people are ust crazy for starters. I would never have an abortion, I couldnt live with that, but some do. I knew a girl in high school who had 6 abortions, then 5 kids. I think you could be right, that could be a reason, or she could just not want the responsibility of a child, or some other crazy reason. I really can't say as I don;t know the girl or the situation really. I would tell him that, and tell him to give her options, or sit down with her, and tell her to be honest.
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Dec 12
I could not have one either, I would feel guilty for the rest of my life and I know I would regret it but thats me. She already has a child from someone who she cheated on to have a kid with... That is what bothers me I guess, her past...
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
why not tell your opinion maybe your husbands friend will be enlightened by your opinion and if he has doubts then he can confront her girlfriend if he is the father of his baby.. she can tell to her girlfriend that if he is really the father then she should keep the baby.. so she can proved to him that she is telling the truth..
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
Yeah I am not sure what to do about it. If we should tell him or not. I know my husband has mentioned it in a not so obvious way... He doesn't want to say too much and then be wrong or something. He will eventually find out the truth.
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
This is a delicate matter, since its life were talking about. But whatever the real reason behind the girl decision to have an abortion, is none of your or our concern. He maybe your husband's friend, but they are adults, we should let them handle this situation themselves.
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Dec 12
Yeah I am letting him handle his own situation. I just wanted to see what others thought about their situation since he asked for our opinions...