What's your main reason for getting married?
By myranel
@myranel (29)
Philippines
December 6, 2012 8:36am CST
Im 30 years old and here in the Philippines if you are still single at this age they usually call you "old maid". It means an unmarried old lady. Although i do not consider myself old, and i don't look old at 30 haha j/k. People here are insisting that I should get married already and have kids since im getting older. They say i won't be able to have a baby if i got married late. And I always told them, do not push me to get married just because of having a baby. I really want to become a mom someday but with the right man. I don't wanna marry a guy just because I want a baby. It will happen at the right time and with God's plan. I will not put myself in a situation that I'm not ready yet. For me getting married is a decision that I should make and not people around me. It's my life. They can only advise me but not to the point that they will push me in a relationship or to a man that I don't love. How about you, what is your main reason for getting married? Is it also having a baby, or that you love your man and you wanna have a baby with him?
3 people like this
11 responses
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
6 Dec 12
If someone needs a reason to get married.. the marriage is for all the wrong reasons. Just my opinion. Take care there.
@humairaku (2038)
• Indonesia
6 Dec 12
oh, dear..why do you say that? have you ever married before then marriage gave you very bad and painful feeling? if you haven't got married before you should try it first before you say like that. lol. yeah, of course marrying someone is not for playing or not serious but don't say something bad about marriage. lol. i know some people have bad experience in their marriage but there are also many people find their happiness in their marriage. i think marriage is one of God's love for human being cos couple can share everything in a marriage which they can share it with others. marriage is a nature call for human. so though someone says that they don't want to get married, I'm sure that deep inside their heart they miss the need of sharing love and attention which only they get from their spouse in marriage..
@myranel (29)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
that was just her opinion. Maybe she had a not so nice experience in a relationship. We all experience that. Every normal human being gets hurt and upset. I experienced that too, but still i want to have a family of my own but not for anyone's decision. Because if one day i got miserable in my marriage life, it's only me who will suffer not them. It's not bad to follow our parents advice, but when it comes to marriage we have our different reasons.
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
9 Jan 13
Welcome to mylot
I was in Davao/Cebu/Manila as visiting Professor so i am aware of the situation there, i have many friends there, many women at 40+ are not married because of the higher female to male ratio, hence the guys marry and leave the girls, worst thing there is no divorce and annulment costs several thousand peso and lot of time.
I was married in 1966 lol
Are you in Tagged, you can see me there
Blessings
@youless (112177)
• Guangzhou, China
7 Dec 12
It is nothing wrong with your decision since we assume that we should get married once in our life. So we shall marry to the right one, otherwise our rest life will be suffering. I got married because I found such a man. I didn't want to be alone. I needed someone who could be with me in my rest life. And we should have a family.
@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
I have to honestly say that there are no main reasons as to getting married. I think when you get to that point that you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you then realize you just want to wake up right next to each other or you know you just want to spend every minute with that special someone then they get to the i want to get married part of their lives. I have heard of people saying their reason of getting married is because they are having a child but I believe that should not be somewhat of a reason to.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
7 Dec 12
Actually if you really want to have a baby then I think you should really hurry up,because if you give birth to a kid in a older age(around 35)then there are many risk will have a high probability than 20's,it is not good for you and you future kids.
As regarding to why I want to get marry,the answer is easy,because I want to settle down and want to have a partner to spend the rest of my life.
For your situation,I think you should be a little initiative sometimes maybe,if you find some boy that you have a good feeling on him,then why not just give him a hint?30 years old for a girl is not young any more,right?
@zurichann (235)
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
That's right, you shouldn't be getting into marriage just because you wanted to have a baby. For me, I always wanted to someone I really love and wouldn't hesitate spending the rest of my life with. I thought it was the end of this dream when I got pregnant and was told by my parents that I have to be married with the guy. I know I made a lot of mistake and used to fool around with love but I don't want to marry him because I know I don't want to spend my life with him. Fate took it's course when he abandoned me and my baby and left for another girl. After this, I found my present boyfriend on the darkest days of my life and I know for sure that he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I'm currently in a ten year relationship with my first and only girlfriend. We are both reaching that age soon(me just ahead two years), and I know how you feel. In fact it is also one of the concerns I know my girlfriend has because as we have talked about marriage and family, we both decided and agreed to have 5 children and if we start late, she might not be able to have that many. Marriage is in our plans but it has to be realized with other factors as well. One problem is that we aren't ready for it financially and I am still trying to finish my degree in the university. Our main reason to get married of course is love and not any other thing. I know that in some culture it has to be set up by parents while in some society people marry for many other reasons, but I am just happy that for us it is and will be primarily because of love.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
6 Dec 12
You won't be able to have a baby if you get married late? Well that is fairy tale. There are plenty of women who get their 1st child at a way higher age without any problem. Not beig able to get pregnant can also be because the man is not able too. BTW old maid I do find an insulting word! How do people call a man that is not married at that age?
I think it's a bad idea to get married just to get childeren. You are right, do not let yourself push into any relationship you don't want. This is your life and you do not need a relationship to make you unhappy. The world is full with single women who do great, even love the fact they are single and do not need to take care of a husband (that never grows up and want a woman to be served) and child(eren). You have time enough to get children. I had children before I got married and if I could do it over again I would never get married anymore. Just perhaps have 1 child.
@vanz_6 (100)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
i got married when i was 30 years old. i didn't even think that i will get married someday because for the longest time i was single and i am not the type of lady who has a lot of admirers or suitors, I am also a shy person so I don't go out much. but God made His plans and so I met this wonderful man who is now my husband and the father of my little boy. I am happily married and little did I know that I will come to this point of my life. Just wait and God will set it for you. Pray for God to take care of that man's heart that's meant for you and soon, you'll meet and be in love and get married and start your own family. 30 years old is still not too late. :-)
@kennethfherl14 (70)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Getting married is a tough decision. We should prepare for it. Marry a person whom you loved most. Marry if you're ready. But sometimes, here in our today's generation, others got married because they have no choices. They already had a baby or the girl got pregnant. Something like that. Others, got married because of money.
The sacrament of Matrimony should be done with great responsibility and willingness not just you are being caught in the situation or answer to your poverty.
