I am sorry that you get upset, but it can't stay there forever.

Is this a house or an apartment for We have 2 sheds full of stuff and we really need to go thru them to find what we havent saw for a year since we moved here. DOnt know how to tell you to get stuff out of hier way maybe stress if hey fall you can take care of them so they need to get rid of things

I can understand completely keeping things that were another's to remember them by, I can understand it being hard to let go. It's been years since my brother has passed, and she did get rid of some, but not nearly enough things. She gave some things to family who would use it, but there are a lot of things that no one will use that she didn't get rid of. These things are magazines, yes part of who he was, but not something necessarily needed to remember him by. These things are so much that, and there are other things that were my mom's that are so much... It's literally a mess here, and a danger for as they grow older (my grandparents) they are more likely to fall and with things right there to catch them? No, these things will get in the way.

It is a 5 bedroom three bath house. Built in the 70's so rooms are moderate in size but sufficient. The fifth bed and bath was an addition built in the 90's. We have three buildings. One is a metal building, the other attached to the house and the third is my grandfather's alone. My grandmother has already fallen several times, but this was also partially due to misuse of medication that caused her to be very groggy and off balance combined with too much sleep as is. She can take a sleeping pill and be wide awake. We've of course since remedied her overdosing by pretty much saying no you aren't taking care of your own medication. She is very cognitive so this was not because of a memory loss, she was doing this on purpose as she has done for many many years.

My grandmother hasn't taken very good care of herself, and honestly partially it is because she was always taking care of others. She really stopped taking care of herself and laying around sleeping all day back when her mother passed away. That has been many years. She went to the doctors, got put on antidepressants but has not really been the same since. She used to keep the house clean, along with my brother. My brother took on a heavy burden of taking care of the house, and he often just threw things away or under the house because he knew no one else would. It isn't just my grandmother though but also my grandfather. I do understand the need or want to keep things the way they were. That's partially my grandmother's mentality and I know that it is a hoarder's mentality. I can't say I am not also a hoarder, but the worse of them all is my grandfather. He keeps everything. They both grew up during a hard time and with hard / tough parents. So way they've learned they stick to, and there is really nothing wrong with it. I just have to do what I can to get rid of things. My grandmother says things like "He may come back to haunt you." I always say that my brother would want to see the house clean, that my brother would want to see his things being used. If things aren't being used it becomes a mess. I am the only one who will / can do it. My grandmother either can't because of her health, or because of her emotions. It all depends on what it is we are talking about getting rid of or re-purposing. My brother had a lot of plastic crates that he put his magazines and movies into. I am moving the movies into another room and getting rid of his magazines. My grandmother wishes I wouldn't move the totes but I'm not doing my mother's stuff any good being in boxes when they should be displayed. So many lifetimes of things are in this house. So many things once though to be useful and kept are no longer used, no longer needed. I'm working on it, and working through it. It's not easy for me though because I do not like to clean. I just have what the room will look like once I'm done in my head, and I know I can get it to that point. If I can get my things organized it will open up the house a bit more, things will be sorted through. Sorry I know this is long-winded.

Oh yes he is, I suppose I don't have as much gripe with him as I do with my grandmother. My grandfather is the type of man that demands respect and doesn't really care if you live him or not, or so he puts on. I think deep down he wants you to love him but he's not one to really show affection. Like for instance when I cook, the only real way I know that he likes it is if he keeps going back for seconds, he won't tell me that he liked it. However, I hear from my grandmother that he praises my cooking. My grandmother has been on anti-depressants for a long time and I believe they've upped them several times. She also takes sleeping pills. Sometimes are better then others, but some are very bad. All I can do is what needs to be done even if it is hard on her. Eventually she will see how everything looks much better and she'll realize it was needed to be done. I do not know if perhaps other family members will then finally start to visit or not, but one thing is that the only person we ever see over here anymore is my sister and her kids. My brother in law doesn't even like to be here.

Have you ever watched any of the Hoarder episodes?. What you describe sounds like some of the people on the show. And she does sound depressed. The antidepressant may not be right for her or enough to really help. The doctors usually start a patient with the lowest amount and it may be that she needs it upped a bit. These 'things' that you speak are just that-- things. It sounds like there alot of things that can be done away with. I think it would be better to do that and have a cleaner living environment. Everyone would feel better. It sounds like you have a rather healthy way of looking at the entire situation and i applaude you. Slow and definite wins the race. You never speak of your grandfather. Is he still living?

Family would not help me and for some, no offense to them, I couldn't trust them not to take something home that is mine now. Friends would help but I am not sure that my grandmother would really want that. I do have a lot cut out for me, but I am coming along way already. I need to just recycle all the magazines and that will have opened up the room a great deal. Step two will be to find a nice curio cabinet or hutch to display things. The hutch may work better as though they can be much heavier, they have storage capabilities underneath. My grandmother wants to sell some of her dolls but perhaps if I can clean up enough in another room for them to be displayed properly again she will re-consider. If not I may assist her in selling them as my grandfather hasn't yet.

I think with my grandmother it is she feels that with some of his things gone, his memory will be gone with it. My family members have some of his stuff, I'm giving an old poster to my nephew, the poster was my brother's. I am working through everything. I think once she really realizes that I am not getting rid of his memory, I never can, that she will feel better. It's the fact things are being moved around...

Slow and steady wins the race. Working on the little things means that when he can assist with the bigger things, there will be much less left after and your space will have opened up more. Oh we have organizing genes in this family, but it's so hard now to clean anything.

I think she is coming around to it a little bit, but with her there is no telling. She may be quiet on it but it doesn't mean she's completely okay with it either. I just hope it doesn't become a big blow up. I am only getting rid of magazines, nothing else. Pictures are staying, even nuts, bolts, little wheels to model cars, they are all staying. We will see as time goes by, I am feeling good about the change. The house already feels a little more open, but I think that's because of the little progress I am doing and how it's making me feel. I am thinking of myself, yes, but I am also thinking of my grandparents, I am thinking of my niece and nephew whom have not seen a clean house (this house) in years if ever. My nephew, maybe, but he was also too young to really appreciate it.