Motivating and encouraging others in time of despair....

People who are experiencing crisis can be sometimes hard to cheer up most especially that they feel down about something that causes a big down impact in their lives. A good way that one should motivate such persons is to remind them on something that they can be proud of, tell them that it’s not the end of the world and that they should take pride on the skills that they acquire and knowledge. This in a way helps such people to stop acting passive. Try to show them their inner strength, tell them that they can do most out of their life despite the problems they are encountered. Tell them that they should put discipline in one’s self promising that this discipline magnets inner strength making a notion that discipline and inner strength is the hand that pulls you out when you are drowning.

I have found by experience that instead of encouraging others (when we don`t have the problem so we really don`t know the amount of their grief), the best thing is to be there. To say that you love the person, to tell them that if you can be of any use, they can count with you. I don`t feel that I can say "well done" as if I was a grown up talking to a child. It`s the other way around. I know it because I have seen people I love die, including a grandson. What could anyone say? The only thing was a hug, believe me. And when I was diagnosed with cancer, what my friends did was to get together so that I would had company on each of my chemos. They fought for me: I could not give up.

I think the expression "This too shall Pass." Is a good one. I think it is best to remind people that while things might be rough and horrible at this point in time it will not last forever and brighter days are on the horizon. Lately though it is hard to try and cheer others up when I am not that optimistic. We had to lend money to two different people this year to pay their property taxes so they would not lose their house. I fear they will not have money to ever pay us back.

No, there isn't a silver lining, but we keep going if there is who to life for. For example, myself. I lost my job in September 2011. Well, 2013 is coming and I'm still unemployed. Living on one salary became almost impossible whole having a small child and a couple of loans and mortgages on your back. But I couldn't afford the luxury to just sit back and get depressed. Ever since I've been trying to be helpful as much as I can, including working on the internet with writing and mostly translating. The money is small but I DON'T feel completely useless. My family supports me and never accused me. There is no recipe how to cope with the ordeals, you just find your own individual right path to move on. My husband and my daughter are worth trying to move on. For the time being, we manage to survive somehow. The most important issue is to keep the spirit high no matter what. One you fall into desperation and depression, going back is almost impossible and you will sink...

Hi, Now i think that's really difficult . Because we can only feel that from outside and they are the people who are actually going through that. sometimes they may even get more disturbed and may not be willing to talk to us. Even though we want to help them to come out of it , we can only do upto some extent.

Sometimes people living through catastrophes do not need words, they just need a hand on a shoulder, or someone sharing their silence and their sadness. We naturally want to say something, but unless we have experienced something similar to what they are experiencing we can make matters worse. I believe that their mental state is often a numbness caused by the trauma they are facing. Perhaps that is nature's way of dealing with something that it is impossible to cope with at the time it happens. If it is a close friend who is suffering we know deep inside how to behave and what to say or not to say. If the person is not so close to us I think it is better to just given an assurance that you are there for them if they need you.

We really do not know what people are going through unless we have been through something similar ourselves. Unless we are friends with people who are suffering it is unlikely that we will ever know what their mental state is. People have their pride and keep their problems and heartaches to themselves. The hand on the shoulder just saying 'well done' often means more to the recipients than we realise. It may be the only positive word or act of kindness they have known for a long time.