Have you ever tried giving advice and yet it wasn't appreciated?

No, I do not mind if my advice was not appreciated. For me, I don't expect too much from the person that I gave some advice. When I write on myLot, I do like earning more for my posts, but I don't feel bad if my posts were not appreciated. If they appreciate and consider using my advice, then that's fine. If they do not, then that is also fine. On myLot, users are allowed to express themselves as long as they are not being inappropriate towards other members. Usage of "bad grammar" also does not irritate me. In addition, not all members have the same grasp of the English language. I actually enjoy seeing that a lot of these discussions are from people of various countries. Since there's so many people from different areas of the world posting on myLot, I get to learn more about what other people are thinking about. Generally, I give my advice out to voice my opinion. If the people do not like my advice, they are free to feel that way. To all myLot members, please keep posting your thoughts.

I've been misunderstood here; fortunately, not to the point where I feel insulted. And as I read through some topics here, I'd find exchanges where clearly one's comment or response could be interpreted the wrong way by the receiver simply because of wrong choice of words or lack of English skills. There were times I'd offer some explanations when I see such situations; mostly would be well received, but yes, few of my advice were taken the wrong way also.

Definitely not what we want but that's the facts of life. There will be times when we will be ignored or unappreciated despite our efforts to help, while there would be times we would even receive negative feedback or reactions for it, but I guess what is important is that we offered help. How they respond to it will be their problem. Don't feel too bad about it, especially here in myLot. Back in the days here, I used to see many discussions that have many negative reaction from responders, it's actually a bit rare here now. You'll get used to it, but I truly hope that it will not change the goodness in you. Keep on sharing and keep on trying to help, that's what is important right?

A friend poured his heart out about a girl he loves and has had an off on relationship with. He told me about all these horrible things she's done to him. One being that she keeps cheating on him. He asked me what he should do. So basically I told him he has given her too many chances, he needs to stop getting back with her and how to go about it. Later on he contacted me saying ." Thank you so much for listening to me, but I'm not going to take your advice. I love her and just not ready to let her go." Okay, sure he thanked me, but I don't even know why he bothered to ask me if he's not even willing to change things. It kind of hurt my feelings a little, but I only wished him the best. He's going to learn the hard way.

Hey aja, I get what you mean. However, we need to understand that we as an outsider, ultimately cannot make a decision. We can only give our best advise and then it depends totally on the other person whether they want to listen to our advise or not. I know in this case, it is worse for you becaus the other person had bad English and you tried you best into understanding it. Perhaps instead of feeling angry, why not just feel since you had already done your best to help this person and hope the best for him or her. Another plus point was that due to you anger, it has given you the motivation to earn more :)

Yes, that's positive, angry + discussion = earning. wheee heeee... Now this is the answer to your question, have I ever tried giving advice and yet it wasn't appreciated? Yes... but I don't mind. These are series, so I hope you have your popcorn and soda with you. LOL An author discuss something about a certain habit like smoking. and ask what do you think are the implications of smoking. Of course, I want to earn, I commented based on my opinion. The author, responded back and said.. "really?.. blah blah blah" as if the author was in doubt. (the author wants to earn too I know. ok, play along... I responded again, and this time I supported my answer with the link about smoking. Author came back again.. "Oh I have been smoking for 10 years but I never felt that. thanks anyway... by the way here is the link. read it first and then you comment again, I can't read it for now I have a to go for a party." I was like this --- I really don't like people who post discussions then don't go back to answer that they have read the comment at least. Author's Discussion: I am so helpless this time.. please tell me what to do... Me: (for earning)... I have some suggestions I hope you won't mind.. blah blah blah.. yadda yada yadadadadada After a few minutes... ........ then.......... then........ Me waiting for the reaction from the Author.. ok.. then.. ME, are you okay??? then I will just see the name of the author posted another discussion entirely different from the first one. This time the author discussed, "What delicious chocolate it was" .... HUH???? I read the delicious cake discussion thinking it has to do with the first discussion... whaat.. it was the about the chocolate cake of a certain cafe and totally has nothing to do with the first discussion. LOL [i] I thought you were desperate... I thought.. you were helpless... OMG, you just wasted my time, tired my brain I thought you were seriously in need of help should I known that this discussion is just a phoney or another soap opera's script I could have advised you to hang yourself or jump off the bridge. LOL.. [/i] just another of this face ---- ok that's all. LOL

lol...the bad grammar makes me crazy too. A lot of times I can't write anything because I don't understand what they are saying. I try to stay away from discussions I don't understand because they might not even understand what I'm trying to get across from them.

I agree. There are some I won't bother with because they can get rude.

Sometimes we can find that advice is not taken in the spirit it was given and intended. something gets lost in the translation and the advice seems void and unaccepted.

Oh many times, I end up not trying to help anymore. Specially those people I worried so much and gave advice, they say no and then end up following it later and see that I thought it through and my intentions were good, if they just keep not accepting for being stuborn I give up. I appreciate so much when someone try to help that I don't like when someone just cut this friendly hand off.

Yes, it happened to me a couple of times but I just ignore them. I still reply to their discussions but this time, I already expect that they won't listen nor consider my advice. Yes, I do feel annoyed sometimes especially when they replied something that is below the belt, taking everything personally and using your own advice to criticize you and your whole personality.

I haven't had anything that made me really angry or that I've been insulted but I've disagreed with some things people have said but those don't come up often at all. I'm pretty easygoing though

Helloo Aja i have really read your discussion and i think you have the course to be angry but i think you being on mylot needs a lot of patience since we are all from different countries so i think the language will differ a little bit but never the less i think you should please excersise patience with everyone no matter what the issue is.But still you are a great FUN of mine.

Be understanding. There are a lot of people on Mylot who don't speak English very well. English is not their first language. I offer 'suggestions' and then, I am objective. If they don't take my 'suggestion' I know I offered it with my good intentions. Everyone has to figure out their own lives. What I suggest may not be what is best for them. But it could help them, just to know that someone is trying to show that they care. On the internet, especially in an international program like Mylot, we are not going to totally relate nor understand each other at all times. Living in different countries means living in very different cultures. Don't be angry nor insulted. Be kind and patient and considerate of other people's situation. It is best to stay positive by thinking the best of others.

There are some who is not appreciate your advice. Life goes on. We do not mind them. I do appreciate all advices from Mylotters. Just keep calm down and be cool.

Aja 103654 oh my dear go read the guidelines as that person had every right to be angry with you. in the guidelines it explains that we are not to criticize others who come from many other countries and have English as a second language so you broke the admins rule about not criticizing others grammar.She had every right to be upset with you as you could have read the guidelines and learned to overlook others grammar as they are learning English for the first time. Give the poor person some slack.Let her or him come to you asking for help then advise. giving unwanted advice is criticism to the person you were so called advising.

I experienced the same thing months ago. I am trying to help one member here since they're newbies here (I want to speak in general) But that member took me wrong, so I decided to rest my case. Sometimes it's frustrating when good things turn bad, but such thing is beyond our control. Since then, I avoid responding to any topic started by that member (not because I am angry, but because I want to avoid any more misunderstanding) Yah, the more we interact, the more we earn...so let's enjoy this site as long as we do not violate any guidelines.

I did experience being unappreciated by a former classmate. I was trying to help out with the line up of activities for our 25th reunion, and she just shut me off by saying that the jobs needed for the reunion has been delegated to other members of our batch. Well, I didn't feel bad about it when she said it then. But 10 months after, I have seen nothing happened for the preparation of our reunion except having 2 exclusive film showing as a fund-raising activity.

My lot is full of people of all kinds I have noticed. It is nice to find people who can appreciate what you say. Feel free to stop by my discussions and give your advice. I like to hear others perspectives and ideas, it helps me shape my own. That is how we grow. Unfortunately for certain people, they take longer to realize the importance of others wisdom.

We help someone by way of an advice is in the context of any problem arisen to a person because you feel concerned about his/her problem.Whether that advice is taken in a positive or negative way is up yo him/her,You did your bit of job you felt right.If someone responds to it in an insulting manner,it should be left to his Conscience.Although his/her words are humiliating,we should not take it to our heart because your heart knows what you did.You should take bad and good things positively and try to be as honest as we can.