qossipers are insecuRe???

gossip - gossipers are insecure
Philippines
December 16, 2012 7:18am CST
Gossip is the number one enemy of every person alive. It can create a completely wrong picture of a person and can make a false impressions. Gossipers are insecure, desperate for either attention or affirmation, or both. People gossip and talk behind our back in a negative attention seeking way are usually insecure or immature. And unsure that, outside of gossip, they have anything meaningful to contribute. We have this neighbor who are really gossipers or should I say story teller. She made a negative story about someone and gossip it to anyone and I am one of her victim lately. What she is gossiping is a way too opposite of myself. Their entire family is a gossipers. If you had never done anything wrong or bad and they spoke badly of you, how would you deal with it?. What I did is, I let them have their talk and I ignore it, so even if they come up to me I still continue ignoring them. And I showed them that no matter what they gossip about me I am not affected and I am happy with my life.
2 people like this
26 responses
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
17 Dec 12
Hi hlf, I think the way you handle the situtation of a person who has low self esteem of them selves and are always talking about someone else to try to make them feel better about themselves th right way... I think people who gossip are very unhappey people..they are always up in someone else's business and when they do not know what is going on they make up things...the always create issues between friend,,,real drama queens... I have no problem telling anyone to mind their business and to keep my Name out of their thoughts and mind...
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
17 Dec 12
Hi did you change your name on me..I am confused I responded to a post started by "hlf" and you are doing all the follow=ups.. whats up with that????
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
You are right bjc66bjc. Come face to face with the gossiper and tell him/her to mind his/her own business usually puts an end to the gossip instantly. People use such direct approach when they are fed up with the gossip that goes way too crazy.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
16 Dec 12
That's very healthy for you. If you are trying to be their friend, you become a victim, if you are their enemy, the more you become a victim, so much better to avoid them. No matter how badly they talk about you, at least you don't get any stress from it.
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
I never been affected of any gossips, I am used to it I guess. Lots of people are really insecure I don't know why. A year ago my own Aunt and cousin gossips me that I am pregnant and then i abort it and then I gave away the baby. I know myself better than they know me and God knows what's really happening so I let them be.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
16 Dec 12
That's more sad when it's your own relatives who's doing it to you. What's more annoying is that whenever they need help, they won't hesitate to ask for it even if they know that you know about them gossiping.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
That's cool of you hlfbldmom. What you do certainly avoids lots of potential quarrels, fights and other destructive things. Hope your aunt and cousin realize their bad doing and never repeat it again.
@jugsjugs (12967)
16 Dec 12
There will always be people that gossip about you no matter what.I gave up caring what people were saying about me or other people ages ago, as I feel that people like that must leave sad lives to waste their time on gossip. I think that some people will never change as they have always been the same and I will say that other people who trust all what the gossips are saying are rather gullable.
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
Yeah I agree with you such kind of people won't change anymore...They are just wasting their for unproductive things.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
Gossips only appeal to people for a very short time. Once people realize the nonsense, the gossips and gossipers will fade away for good.
@SamShima (71)
• Nigeria
18 Dec 12
Were it not for the last stroke,I wouldn't accept the idea. Blackmailers are much more dreaded. Gossip is mild. You see, on earth we are bound to gossip. There are professional gossip or professional blackmailers. They are paid for doing that, and they feed from that. Watch very well around you and even beyond, people work as spies, agents, detectives, mole, scout and many more and they are paid for that. This does not mean I support gossip. But remember, if they don't do they may die of hunger, since some are paid for gossiping while others do it for fun. If you are gossiped, just ignore them and show them you are not distorted.
@bLadeee (403)
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
If I'm in your case, I'm also going to do what you are doing. Totally ignoring them is the way to show that your not affected and to prove that they are wrong. I don't have any benefits if I fight back with them, and it'll only waste my time.
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
Yep, we can't benefits with them if we fight back and I don't want to step down on their level.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
I agree. Gossipers will lose their momentum over time if they get ignored.
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
I had the same neighbor way back. She'd wen't out of her way to gossip about me that I had the feeling she knew more than I did the happenings in my life. Even my wearing short pants were also an issue. I ignored her mainly because she was my best friend's Mom but one time I told her and her friends who talked behind my back that when they want to know me more, they could just ask me and I'll give them the presscon they deserve. Of course that was said flippantly, it came with my irritation that they had to treat me like that.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
That's a good way to face the gossipers smiling_ja. Sometimes it helps to say it directly to the gossiper's face that you don't like what she does and she had better stop it. There is a limit to one's patience.
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
smiling_ja, I have exactly the same neighbors as you. The mother of the one who gossips me lately. She's always have something to say about me, even if I just stay a bit in our main door when an open gate because and see outside she has something to say still and then make a story out of it.
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
You have certainly made the right description of these kind of people. I have a lot of them in my place of work before. Sad to note that there are those that believe them even without verifying. Well, I normally do not react to what they say. I just do my work and let it be. The more you react the more they talk. Surely as time passes by, the truth will always set us free.
• Philippines
18 Dec 12
People who believe in them are just like them too. As saying goes birds with the same feathers flocked together . You don't know where to stand in such kind of people if you react they will call you guilty if you don't react they call you the same. So better ignore them.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
Exactly, ignore them and that will make them feel annoyed. The more we ignore the gossipers the more they get annoyed. But, if we entertain gossipers, we are giving them satisfaction. So why give them satisfaction anyway- lols.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
That's an interesting point about not to entertain gossipers jaiho2009 :) Agreed :))
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
Yeah, they are insecure and have low self-esteem. They are also narrow-minded and usually lacking in intelligence. Their favorite pastime is destroying other people's lives for they have nothing better to do. It is best to avoid this group to avoid being associated with them.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
One can definitely live happier without gossipers around :)
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
17 Dec 12
I also see people around the office gossiping to one another. I think you have interpreted it very right, they are insecure people who want to convince the other people for something. They don't have anything to contribute to the outside world so they think that by talking bad about others will make them more secure but it backfires them. I think even I have this habit in me to some extent, so it is everywhere and I think it is more in the ladies gender.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
It used to be more in the ladies, but nowadays the men seem to catch up pretty well sanjay91422 :))
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
There are really people who are like that. Making some gossip. They have their own reason of doing that and most of the reasons are insecurities and hate. They hate you not because you are bad but because they want to be like you but they can't be you so instead of appreciating they try to say something bad about you so people will think bad as well.I think you did a right thing, ignore those things what matter's most you did the right thing.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
That is a sad fact that exists everywhere. You are right BethelSophia, one should try to do the right thing and ignoring the gossip is it. Over time people will know that the gossiper is just talking nonsense.
@Shavkat (136055)
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
They are definitely insecure my friend. I really hate those people, they should stop doing it. In terms of politics, they do such a thing.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
We should actually feel sorry for those people. They gossip because they don't have better alternatives to do. They hurt feelings and yes they should stop it.
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
anyway it's part of life. even us we do have that. not my neighbor who gossip me but my own relatives. I just ignored them, because in my heart I know it is not true.. and I also believe in Karma. I don't want to be liked them so i remain silent.I am giving them my Supreme patience.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
I believe in Karma too fearlessgara. Good seeds will produce good fruits. Good deeds will produce good returns. I like to focus on the good side of things :)
@edvc77 (2140)
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
That is right. Do not go down to the level of gossipers, focus on something important in your life and in your priorities. They will not do any good and in time there will be consequences for them. Do not listen to them. They have narrow minds. As long as you know you are doing right, go on with your life. Loafers are really insecure and usually envious of other people. However, be careful as well. God Bless and have a nice day!
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
I agree that nothing good will come from gossiping. There are lots of productive things you can do with your time and energy other than gossiping.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
these people have nothing better to do with their lives. they are really attention-seekers and think that gossiping would make them popular. i agree that we should ignore gossipers but only to a certain point. i think that when they sort of cross the line, they should be confronted already either legally or extrajudicially.
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
Gossipers are usually popular beamer88, not in a good way though. When they go too far, they should indeed be confronted and stopped. If gossips go too far, not only do they hurt the victims, they can also hurt the victims' families.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
29 Dec 12
You are right gossip is the number one enemy of people but nobody wants to leave this habit and mostly this habit is only in women only in rare case the men do this. I cant understand why women not check our own home and family members how they are why interested in others. I really not like this therefore I goes rarely in my relatives house.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
16 Dec 12
for sure because they just keep passing the information just to feel in the safe side and ignore all that is happening with them and if attacked,they feel petrified anytime
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
There is nothing wrong if one passes a valid information. Gossipers create an information which is usually untrue and pass it on. It is thus natural if they feel petrified when confronted.
@Shavkat (136055)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
I don't like people who are full of insecurities. It is not healthy to be with them. The manner of dealing with other people is not proper, so I don't dwell for such personality.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
16 Dec 12
Sure is.. I know a few like that her ein Mexico. I think they do it, a sit gives them something to do. Most of my friends who do it are single and have nothing better to do. Have a great sunday there.......
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
Gossipers that I know come from all statuses, single, married, employed, unemployed, male, female, young, old... etc. Rather than gossiping, people had better do other more productive things or do nothing at all.
@spicymary (558)
• Romania
16 Dec 12
I think they don't have anything interesting to tell about themselves and not enough knowledge to talk about more serious things. It is said for a reason that "Small minds talk about people, mediocre minds talk about events and great minds talk about ideas." It's a really mean thing to spread wrong ideas about somebody. But all the rumour will pass soon, and nobody will care about anymore. I was also a victim of hard gossiping some years ago. I felt horrible and I was thinking everybody will know me in that way. But very soon everybody forget about...
• Indonesia
17 Dec 12
Gossipers usually have small minds indeed spicymary. It's good that you are over with your bad experience. An individual's good quality will stand the test of time, whereas gossips will not.