A patient has the right to know
By bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
December 20, 2012 2:44am CST
A friend and a co-employee died of cancer. The illness was at stage 3. His demise was a shock to everybody in the organization. After an operation to remove a tumor in the kidney, he was brought home only after a few days. Everybody thought that he was just recuperating from the procedure.
Our group was planning to visit him after several weeks thinking that he must have fully recovered. He was brought to the hospital for a supposed check up last Saturday but the doctors did not allow him to leave, then he died at past 11 pm that day. Only then that everybody knew that the illness was terminal. The wife deliberately withheld the information from everybody, and even from the patient.
I heard that the doctor said that she could have told the patient because he has the right to know. The wife's reason was not clearly stated why she kept it a secret. Some of the co-employees tell that she decided on keeping his situation a secret because she did not want pity. It sounds too selfish for me even in the midst of some co-employees saying that we just have to understand because each person or individual has his or her own character.
Me and my friends discussed if we, on the other hand, if in that situation, will let the patient know his or her condition, being the spouse. I explained that my foremost decision is to let the patient know but it can also depend on the character and strength of the patient. Some sick people are ready, and some are not, to face the truth.
What would you do?
6 responses
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 12
The patient do have the right to know his own situation. Even though telling him might let him down and get even worse, but at some point, if there is still hope, at least the patient himself will be able to try his best to find ways to cure it and be positive. If there is no hope anymore, at least, he know his own situation and able to pass away peacefully with all his hope or wish done instead of having a lots of regrets that there is something he need to tell before he left. I wonder why is his wife not letting him know with a not clearly stated reason. That is weird. Maybe there is some conflict in his family also.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
21 Dec 12
i do not think that there is conflict in their family. the wife probably has her own personal reasons which we do not know.
i was told that in the deathbed he was trying to say something but he couldn't because there was a tube in his mouth. he was gesturing that he wanted to write but he couldn't also do that because his hands were quivering. when i heard this, i said to myself that he might probably wanted to leave some words and it was too late.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
3 Jan 13
true, the more it's sad for us being his friends.
i believe, too, that if he was given the chance, he could have probably wanted to say something or leave messages to his immediately family and to his friends. it makes me sad thinking that he must be in panic that time feeling that time is running out.
i believe, too, that if he was given the chance, he could have probably wanted to say something or leave messages to his immediately family and to his friends. it makes me sad thinking that he must be in panic that time feeling that time is running out.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 12
I'd want to know so that I could sell everything and take a trip around the world while I still could. 
hello, V.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Dec 12
Well, if I was to find out that my husband had terminal cancer, I would let him know that he did have a terminal disease and that his life would be coming to an end so that he would be able to do the things that he really wanted to do in the last weeks or months of his life.
However, I can kind of see where the woman might have withheld the information from her husband. The reason that I think that she might have withheld it is not because she didn't want pity, but rather that she was in denial.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
3 Jan 13
it was the same thought another friend have, that she's in denial but based on the words that came from her, i think it's more of misconception saying "my husband is happy now that he is with the Lord, and i am happy". maybe it's her faith but for me it's kind of weird that she chose to be silent thinking that way.
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
20 Dec 12
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Yes u are absolutely right, a patient has the right to know every thing about his illness. If he is kept in dark regarding his health and illness how will be able to take precautions from his side besides he wont be able to mentally prepare himself regarding this and as a result it would be too late before every thing is ruined and the case u have described is a clear case of this. Nothing should be neglected whenever it comes to health and medical sector otherwise it will be very risky in the end.
What say?
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
21 Dec 12
thank you for your nice insight. to take precautions might be too late already even if the patient learned about his illness. the wife only had learned about the cancer when they went to the doctor one day this year. i believe though that telling him might change his belief not to let anybody know that he is sick because he also had that decision (probably thinking that he will be able to recover and tell the others later about his ordeal).
mental preparation is important, too, i guess, for the patient. if a patient suddenly felt that his time is near and had not left a message or two, he might panic and feel more depression and thus affect his health more.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
20 Dec 12
He has right to know what is going on with him. He is already mature and he should be told about his current condition, in this way, he will have time to say things he has to say to the people around him, saying goodbyes and saying his last prayer. It is his choice if he wants others to know, like his children, his parents and his friends.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
21 Dec 12
hi Bing,
with due respect to the departed one, his wife thought that he was not mature enough to handle the situation?
