It's the woman's frault.

@MsTickle (25180)
Australia
December 31, 2012 4:10pm CST
I'm just listening to the news and there has been a report regarding the death of a 20 year old medical student who was gang raped in India. The report goes on that government sees the importance of stopping this sort of thing (really?). One comment from a fellow whose name I didn't catch was that women's dress was a big part of the problem. "School girls should not be allowed to wear skirts and tops. They should be made to wear trousers and shirts." Hearing this, I wanted to slap the guy till he was unconscious. I cannot find the words to say how angry I am. How do you react to this statement and what are your thoughts on the subject? (Sorry for my flimsy reporting skills but I was doing something else and not listening at first.)
12 people like this
27 responses
@vandana7 (98119)
• India
1 Jan 13
MsTickle...I am from India. In some aspects, I have to agree with the guy. I know you would think how odd...but it is like this. Though anybody should have the right to wear what they please, they are better off with traditional attire. That is because there is a large section of the society that looks down upon the modern way of dressing. These are uneducated force, but many of them have considerable power because political bigwigs use them. They dominate in their homes, because of which girls are looked down upon. If the girl starts wearing more modern clothing, they resent it strongly. Why antagonize people...
4 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
So you think the wearing of such attire is the woman asking for this type of unwanted behaviour?? Are you saying that because a woman is wearing modern Western type garb that it is normal for a male to see this as an invitation to assault, molest and rape the woman?? Consider carefully this thought process my friend. A woman should feel safe and BE safe no matter what she is wearing. Have you read the other responses here?
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
2 Jan 13
I see now what you are getting at. Thanks for clearing that up vandy. Sadly, I don't see the necessary changes coming about anytime soon.
2 people like this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
2 Jan 13
Since I live in the U S, it is hard to believe that the government of India is just now beginning to see the need to protect the female half of their population. However, this kind of attitude is prevalent in all male dominated cultures. We here in the USA are not quite out of it yet. We do have laws, though, and free speech.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
2 Jan 13
Yes, we seem to have two separate schools of thought here. We have the male thought process and the religious cultural thing that belittles and/or diminishes women. Education is doing nothing to change things so my idea is that the penalties must be made more severe. It's not that we are talking about women here; we are talking about infants, toddlers, teens, frail aged and elderly women. The men who commit these attacks are just not normal.
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
2 Jan 13
Yeah that would make me want to slap him around a couple of times too. I hate it when people say this when something like rape happens to woman and they say oh its the woman's fault. She shouldn't have had on that certain outfit. We as women have the right to dress with whatever we want to wear, why do we have to conform to wearing pants and a shirt so we don't have to be raped. That was a stupid remark that that person made.
4 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
2 Jan 13
Believe it or not, there are a couple of responders here who also agree with what he said. What's wrong with people's thinking? Can they not see the reality here?
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
I don't think that person knows what he is saying- let's hear it once it is his sister who happens to be the victim if he can still utter the same word (duh) There are places wherein women wear more daring and appealing dresses but rape cases are rare compared to other countries. It's not all about how women dressed up- it's a matter of animalistic behavior I guess.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
High there my friend I believe it goes further than that. I think many men feel they are entitled to do this to a woman. Their culture makes it easy for them to think this way. It doesn't matter who says what...there is no excuse for this sort of behaviour.
2 people like this
@zelnut (39)
• Dubai, United Arab Emirates
24 Jan 14
High five to @jaiho2009
@dollar3235 (2062)
• India
1 Jan 13
If you feel like slapping, I think you'll have to slap the whole system. This is the only one news which is highlighted and hearing that few people are crying and others are angry (all over the world), however, it's a common thing in that part of India. I don't know why and how people are protesting this time. This incident happened on 16th and from then till now, we have four other reports of rape cases where women of 42 years (3 men in Delhi), 16 year (by Step brother in Delhi), 3 Year kid (in West Bengal) and a married woman (6 Men in Haryana) and government has now started working on a law that will protect women in India. Last year on paper we have 650+ such cases only in Delhi, this government was sleeping then..I don't have words to explain this pathetic situation.. What do you feel after reading all this? Do you want to Slap or Kill?
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
No, I'm not one for killing. Maybe what I want for these criminals is a much worse fate than killing them. This sort of offensive and basically uncivilised behaviour has to stop. No one society, whether Western or Eastern culture is free from this horrific behaviour of some males There needs to be dire consequences so that when men are caught they are humiliated and degraded and have their masculinity removed and maybe even their brain function altered. Surely, these actions would serve as a dire warning to others?
1 person likes this
• India
1 Jan 13
Just to let you know, at least 30% of the politicians here are rapists and the proud Indians (including women) vote them in elections.
2 people like this
@deazil (4723)
• United States
1 Jan 13
Really?? I've heard this statement before and it makes me just as angry now as it did the first time I heard it. Maybe more. Why then, are women dressed in saris and women completely clothed head to toe, as in Muslim style clothing, being raped? And what about little girls under the age of 10 and babies? Don't tell me their little size 4 jeans are irresistibly enticing. And elderly women? I know what I'd like to do to the moron who said that and to every man that believes this. Better left unsaid.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
I hope your ideas contain humiliation, degradation, pain, disgust, nausea and probably many more sensations not to mention helplessness, powerlessness, dishonour and a stripping of every shred of self esteem.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Geez, did I cause that? That's how I felt this morning and I must say, there have been some interesting responses here. Happy New Year to you too. Sent you a note but then it disappeared. Will bring you up to date soon.
1 person likes this
@deazil (4723)
• United States
1 Jan 13
Okay. Thanks!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 12
Just goes to show you how far back in time some of these countries are and I haven't the faintest idea when they will finally feel women are actually real people. I feel like you do, I just want to slap this guy until he couldn't talk no more. I think it's disgusting and appalling to hear this kind of statement no matter where you live and it just means he would do the same thing because he couldn't control himself so shame on the girl. There are no words for this.
@mysdianait (66013)
• Italy
31 Dec 12
Slap him? I would beat the living daylights out of him!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Yes, it's beyond belief. These males are not right in the mind. Don't any of them have sisters, mothers, wives, daughters? Are they not capable of thinking? Going to court and receiving a gaol term leading to eventual freedom is no punishment. There needs to be real education if this sort of thinking is to be stopped. I for one stick my hand up for castration or better still, a penectomy.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Dec 12
I was trying to hold my temper because I wouldn't slap or beat him and give him that satisfaction. It would have been worse but I would be deleted here and I'd be in jail. All I have to do is think of my daughters and my mind goes where it shouldn't.
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
1 Jan 13
Men who say things like that have to blame the woman because they are not man enough to control themselves. If they blame the women then they themselves are blameless for their own vile actions. They use religion, culture, upbringing and other things as an excuse for their own inability to control themselves--in short, they are worse than animals. There are a frightening number of these brutes in the world.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Women are human beings. There are no two ways about it. So, where do religions, cultures and someone's upbringing give people the idea that women are worthless or of little value? This is something I don't understand. In a male dominant society why do they feel the need to belittle the females. Human males, if they are not going to see women as equals should see them as needing to be protected and nurtured but this certainly does not happen. In some cultures, women are subjected to torture for what is basically a minor infringement. Some are even punished if the males sins against them or commits adultery etc. What is that about?
3 people like this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
1 Jan 13
I heard the who was ganged raped have been charged. I believe with murder or lease for raping her. I am not sure. In India women are treated differently then like other countries. Women aren't treated as equals. most are treated like dirt! Saying the woman should of been wearing different clothes and that could of avioded her being raped? What such a man thing to say! I wish i could slap that jerk if I could! If India treated woman like humans and with respect things might be different! It is disgusting and a shame!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
You've basically hit the nail on the head blue. If women were treated as humans with respect and honour and consideration things would indeed be different. There are a lot of countries in the world where women are treated shamefully.
1 person likes this
@RawBill1 (8531)
• Gold Coast, Australia
1 Jan 13
That is so wrong! How anyone can blame a woman for the way that she dresses in circumstances like this is beyond me. From a male point of view, I can understand being a tad more interested in a woman in public if she is wearing less clothing, but that does not give anyone the right to abuse another person. There are no excuses. This type of mentality is crazy! On a more positive note. Happy New year!
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Thanks Bill and best wishes to you and yours as well. I agree, I think a guy who does this is mentally unbalanced and I would love to see them put up for medical testing and psychoanalysis and then having to undergo such procedures that will stop them from this thinking and these activities.
2 people like this
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Why? What's wrong with wearing a skirt and blouse? It's their thinking that needs to be changed. Obviously, these rapists have evil minds and should never be allowed to be in any society. They should be fried on the electric chair.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
How do you suggest we go about changing a rapists thinking? I agree they should not be allowed in society, not without some physical and or mental modifications. I feel they should suffer so a would be rapist might stop and think twice about committing such an act.
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
Pretty subjective if you ask me. People will argue that women should dress as women and they should wear skirts. And for modesty’s sake, it has to touch the floor. Some conservatives still balk at the idea that women should wear pants, trousers or anything resembling men's clothing. So, it's always a fault of fashion? What happened to criminal intent? Is that not accounted for. For all I know, women can still be raped by men even wearing a full gown and a tiara on the head. Sometimes, it’s a stupid and deflecting argument. Rape is a criminal offense and any criminal with motive will do it regardless of fashion or outfit.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
What the victim was wearing is hardly the issue and I think that's why the world has reacted with such outrage.
2 people like this
@ShyBear88 (59199)
• Sterling, Virginia
31 Dec 12
When I hear that I get mad too. How is what a women wears have to do with getting rapped. A person is going to rape another person regardless of what they are wearing and it is never the person that gets rapped fault it is always the person doing the rape that its there fault for doing so.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Of course it is. Women should be able to wear whatever they want without the fear of getting attacked. While I don't agree with extremely revealing clothing for any reason, this is NOT what rape is about. If a male sees this as a provocation to rape (the female "asking for it")then he is sick in the head.
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
Complete agreement
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59199)
• Sterling, Virginia
2 Jan 13
Rapest are like killers they have reason for why they do what they do. They just pick based off of different reason and it's never about the clothes. Some times it's age, hair color, body type or that the person looked at them funny or something. But nobody every is asking for it.
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
1 Jan 13
This makes me sick! It's easy to blame others when you are in the wrong, and those rApers are in the wrong. Women in their 80's have been raped - and I am not rude now, but how can a 80 year old lady in her pj's look appealing to be rAped? It's a deed of 'showing off power' over the weaker person. Those people should be punished for life.
@Lakota12 (42602)
• United States
31 Dec 12
I read it on yahoo but didnt say how she was dressed makes no differents no one should get away with rape and not sure how that country looks at things like this but I do hope they get it under contro;
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42602)
• United States
1 Jan 13
yup and I get so bone madhen I see women getting sold sold to brothals gr
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Women are subjected to a valuation standard in this country and a female comes out as not being worth very much at all. This sort of thinking is not just limited to the country in question. Women have been undervalued by society across the board through the ages. Western society is getting the message but sadly Eastern countries are a long way behind IMO.
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Dec 12
If I tell Dearra that they said that, you will hear her all the way to Australia. Unfortunately, there is still too much of that attitude in our world. If you attack somebody, it is never that person's fault no matter how you try and spin it.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
There are so many issues here Dawn that I can't begin to foicus on just one. Are there any answers beyond "things need to change"? Do we need more women in government? Should castration be the answer? Would castration act as a deterrent? What does Dearra have to say?
2 people like this
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Jan 13
She basically said that rapists will rape no matter what the woman wears, and pointed out that very old women and nuns have been raped.
• United States
1 Jan 13
Hearing that kind of stuff irks me as well. It's victim-blaming. It doesn't matter what she was wearing. If you stood before a judge and said, "But sir, my boss was just asking to be murdered! He was mean, overworked me, and lowered my salary!" would the judge then send out a call to all employers to treat their employees better to avoid being murdered by them in the future? No. Because that's just ridiculous. Crimes are the fault of the criminal who commits them.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Correct me if I'm, wrong but I feel that this situation of not taking responsibility is a primarily male trait. We even laugh when they fart in company or at the most inappropriate time and then blame the dog. It's not funny. Does this male trait spill over so that they think they can behave as badly or as inappropriately as they like so long as they can blame someone else? Where do they get these ideas?
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 13
I don't believe it's just a male trait... I've known plenty of women (including myself) who want to pass the blame off on others rather than take responsibility for their own actions. However, I do believe that rape prevention efforts are entirely too focused on women to try to keep from getting raped, rather than on men to not rape. (Barring exceptions where the genders are inverse or the same, it does happen but it's in the minority.)
• Australia
5 Jan 13
I agree, it's not a specifically male trait to refuse to accept responsibi8lity for our actions, but I've rarely heard of a woman killing multiple men and never heard of multiple women raping a man (it may happen, but so rarely as to be irrelevant). Lash
1 person likes this
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
It was a regulation from the school, this is not the problem. The problem was the law which is soft enough that doesn't mind the right of the women in that country. I heard that only few are being caught and put to jail with slight punishment. If that law is tight enough and have a grave punishment to protect the right of the women in that country, those criminals didn't have the capacity to do such terrible crimes.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
I agree and think that this is possibly the answer. If the punishment were severe enough, maybe a would be offender would think twice before committing such a heinous act. The punishment MUST be really catastrophic though.
1 person likes this
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
2 Jan 13
Yup! They think twice before committing a crimes. Because if the punishment is less than six month, criminals, always have a guts to do crimes.
2 people like this
• Canada
31 Dec 12
A police officer in Toronto said the same thing a couple of years ago and there was a huge backlash. Truth is, if dressing a certain way or looking a certain way was what incited rape, there would be no such thing as cases of women in their 60s, 70s and 80s getting raped. Especially in nursing homes where they are wearing frumpy hospital gowns! I do believe it is prudent for women to be careful. When I was young, if I went clubbing and knew that I would be by myself on the last leg of the bus trip home in the early morning, I brought a sweater to cover up whatever sexy clubbing top I was wearing, and kept flat shoes in my purse so I could change and carry my high heels home. There's a reason clubs have coat checks! This was practical, though. In high heels, you can't run fast. In flats you can. In a low cut top I wouldn't be able to run, because I'd be popping out of it! But a sweater to cover up made me ready to go, if I had to. Rapists are looking for easy victims. Clothing that prevents you from running, carrying a lot of heavy bags, or being distracted on a phone or listening to music can make you look like an easy target. Nobody blames a victim if someone is mugged, and nobody says a person was "asking" to be mugged just because he wore an expensive suit and cufflinks (thus displaying what he has.) If displaying your wealth by wearing expensive clothes and having pricey accessories does not mean you are "asking" to get mugged, why does having a part of your body showing mean you are asking to be raped? Let's reverse this: for one day, every man has to walk around stark naked with his bank balance written across his chest. Let's see if the men with very large bank balances or very large something elses (!) get viciously attacked by women desperate to mate with them or marry them.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Yes, while men supposedly do get raped by women, it is predominately a male thing. You've provided a couple of great tips here RS and I think the bottom line is prevention through education. Imagine the world if the emphasis was on teaching kids to be kind and considerate towards each other and if it was a universal thing. It really doesn't seem to be a far-fetched idea to me. Maybe in the future?
1 person likes this
• India
1 Jan 13
You are absolutely correct.I do not know why people of some political classes are always behind women wearing instead of a strict and stringent law that can make a fear in criminal's mind.They have every right to wear what ever they want.If small dresses are the only cause for these kind things then why small girl below 10 years are being physically assaulted.Are they wearing small dresses ?? No..dress has nothing to do.Its the mindset of a criminal which drives him to commit such activity.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 13
Precisely and education won't change anything because it seems that a lot of men have this sort of mindset, that women by their very existence are acting provocatively towards men.. The men who commit such crimes should be punished in a way that deters others from following in their footsteps. My ideas may be a tad barbaric but this seems to be the mindset of some men and the only thing they understand.