when your friend asks borrow money

@Mintlin (322)
China
January 2, 2013 11:40pm CST
Hello all.I face a delemma recently. my hunsband's best friend asking borrow money from us again. personally,i really do not like to borrow money to other people ,espeically this friend. He kept borrowed money from my husband since we did not get married,the sucks is he never return. he has plenty of excuses and my husbnd all believe in him becuase he used to help my husband a lot. since we got married,my husband submintted all his salary to me every month.last week,my husband said he needed 3 thousand dollars for his best friend and this friend promised to return money no later than one month! Gee..i was not born yesterday,he always make promise and break it later . I really do not want to borrow to his friend any more,he has borrowed 10 thousands from us already and so far did not return.But i do not want to let my husband down also. what can i do ?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
3 Jan 13
I dont like to lend money out. Mostly because I dont have it to lend. But also because many never pay it back. Especially family members. I have a sister owes me over 5000 for like 8 years...
• India
3 Jan 13
give money to others and do anything for frndship.i also give lots of money to my frnds.they love me alot me too love them. life is very short enjoy every second with ur frnds. i spend so much time with my gf love her. do anything for frndship.
@wishjui (271)
• India
3 Jan 13
Simply ask your husband to refuse his friend.It might damage their friendship but this kind of friendship is worthless! he is going to cause lots of trouble to you in future but once denying will help you guys and will get rid of him for all your life. If your husband need any help,he can approach someone one genuine.
• India
3 Jan 13
frndsihp is very good thing. i love my frnds and always love them from my heart. i cant live without my frnds. they are my hearts.yes he can cpproach one genuine gf its true but it is not needed always
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
7 Feb 13
You would have to talk to your husband about this and tell him your concerns and your issues as to what you think of his friend and why you feel this way (tell him all the instances that you lend him money and he has not yet returned them). Your husband should be able to understand where you are coming from because after all he respects you enough to give you 100 percent of his money every salary time. If he insists on helping his friend, then tell him you can loan out half the amount first and see if he will return it on time. If he does not return as promised he should also make his friend understand that he will no longer be allowed to borrow from your husband. Times are hard these days, it is okay to help people, especially that he is your husband'ss friend and has helped him in the past. I think he could just be having financial trouble that is why he is unable to pay... but pushing this reasoning aside, he should still understand and manage your expectation and not break your trust because afterall, he promised to pay and he didn't. I do not know how good a friend he is with your husband, and you would know that... but let your husband know that your family needs the money too, and you need to save them for the rainy days, and when emergency comes... you, his family should be able to draw out funds, which might not be possible if he keeps on loaning out money to his friend who does not pay.
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
18 Jan 13
You wrote that your husband's friend used to help your husband a lot, and I think it is possible that your husband feels obligated to help him (=lend him the money) because his friend helped him in the past, but I still think he has to draw the line when his friend has borrowed money in the past and still didn't pay you back. If he continues to lend him money the friend will probably just continue to make excuses in order to avoid paying you back. I was in same situation in the past and I lent a friend some money, but she has never paid me back and today I wouldn't lend her money again.
@mranjaan (136)
3 Jan 13
Never should break the trust. Thats "Friend" has broken the promise and trust both again and again. So dont borrow him money.
• India
3 Jan 13
Usually everyone faces people like these. These persons just loves to borrow money from others and simply do not want to return it. I am sure that person will have borrowed money from many people because it just becomes their habbit. They target the people who can't say no to others. They take advantage of other person's kind and helpful nature. The only solution is that your husband have to say no to him in future whenever he come again for money otherwise he will keep taking advantage of your husband's kindness. And he already taken a large money from your husband so tell your man to ask that person when will he return the money. Your husband have to make excuse that your family is in serious need of money so please return it as soon as possible. I am sure he will not return in your first request but you have to make requests many times and then I think your problem will be solved.
@pokumon (644)
• United States
3 Jan 13
I would only borrow this friend money if I count it as disposable income and do not expect to get it back. That said, 3000 dollars is well over what I would be comfortable parting with perhaps for forever. I have let one friend borrow just 20 dollars and I know I will never see that money. This is the same friend that I bought a 100 dollar wheelchair for when she got run over by a car and broke her leg. That was a gift and I don't expect her to pay me back for that kindness. I know she is hurting for money and I am secretly glad she hasn't asked me for rent money just bus fare. You never know when something unfortunate is going to occur so it is good to have a monetary safety net. My brother has advised me that I need to save at least enough money to be able to survive 6 months with no job. If this guy has not paid you before you have no guarantee that he will pay you in a month. It is harsh, but I think you need to draw the line with him and maybe advise him on how to take out a loan. Good luck.
@caopaopao (12398)
• China
3 Jan 13
If I have a friend like this, I will refuse him even if we will be not friends any longer. The relationship between friends is not based on money, or it's not friendship. He has borrowed 10 thousand from you and never returns, it means he will not return this time. If you give him the money, he may borrow your money again and again. You should persuade your husband and say no to him.
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
3 Jan 13
hello there, It really pisses me off when one does like this.Unfortunately even i have such friends who does the same and at times I have to run behind them to get my money back. If you really think that your husband should not give him the money,what i would suggest you to create an emergency in your house,may be your health or some urgent things need to be bought.Things which your husband thinks are very much important than lending him money. At least he would think about should he give him money or not.If you create such emergency then you can keep the money with you and save it for future. I hope this works. best of luck Raj India