is he having a crush on their help?

@pomwango (1353)
Kenya
February 16, 2013 3:03am CST
My niece is distraught her husband seems to be getting too comfortable with her help.he will ask for her if she is not at the table for meals,he now prefers going to the kitchen to get what he wants unlike before when he kept sending his wife or kid,he tends to keep on joking with her and wants her as part of the family conversations, he tends to also not entertain negative comments about her or her work.should she read more in his actions or just dismiss it as her fear?
9 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
I think there is a basis for her fears, because if he is acting so weird like this that it was not him at all.. I might just want to give out "tests" to see if my thoughts of my husband has basis. It is hard to tell for sure but anything unusual a woman would feel right away. often instincts kicking in does tells us bits and pieces of the truths we were never told. She can try to give their household help a day or two of vacation and watch him "react" to her not being around the house. I am sure she would be able to tell the difference and dismiss the idea if there is nothing "wrong" after her doing this.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
thats a nice idea, i will tell her about it, if she isnt ready to confront her husband then she can deal with having the help away so that she sees his reaction.
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
18 Feb 13
She needs to talk to the husband and make sure she's not mistaken. This whole thing might be all innocent, but he isn't aware of how is actions are being perceived. If something really is going on the best thing is keep the help and fire the husband.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
i agree at this point she cant just hope and wish it away she has to talk to her husband and know where the truth lies.
@naija4real (1291)
16 Feb 13
Having crush is part of life experience. However, it is wrong when it involved a married man. I think it is right to talk things over with the man and then look for ways to bring peace to the home.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
i will ask her to try talk to him about it and either change his ways or decide then of the two where his loyalties lie,since keeping quiet is hurting her.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
16 Feb 13
Oh..danger danger? Maybe she should settle this while it's still early. In this world where this kind of thing is already very common, I will not tolerate it at all. Maybe it's too early to give malice but where does this kind of thing starts anyway? Isn't it in those small gestures that she had observed?just saying...
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
there seems to be a red flag and she has to deal with it before it gets out of hand its the little things that build up to major issues.
@theselan (74)
• Malaysia
16 Feb 13
Maybe he is attracted to your niece and want her to be a part of his family by marrying her. Since he is attracted to her, is up to your niece that she continue to talk to him or she may avoid him for a moment. In my opinion, she could stay away from his house and family because the longer she stays the bigger the problem will occur. Separating a family is not good. take care and ask her to think wisely.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
i think she has to watch out on more changes in his affection towards her before she gets her heart broken.
@chamtel (15)
• United States
16 Feb 13
She needs to get rid of the help. her husband is paying way to much attention to the wrong woman. maybe he could just be being a gentleman and is nice to her to make her feel welcomed, but enough is enough. he is begining to form a crush on the help, if he wants to include her in everything. she either needs to talk to her husband or talk to the maid, and explain to her that whatever is going on between her and her husband is inappropriate. however, she doesn't to be seen as the wife who can't trust her husband, so she is going to have to handle this in a very delicate matter. she can talk to her husband and express her concerns or she can just confront him head on, in front of the maid. her choice.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
i will ask her to choose which is easier talking to her man or getting rid of the help.i also dont think what he is doing is nice but since she is not too sure then she will have to talk to them and more so her husband.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
I'd say that she should keep an eye on both of them. Well, you'll never know if the helper is just trying to be too friendly and has another motive.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
ok i will ask her to be more keen on them,true some people come with bad intentions to confuse the man of the house.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Who knows? This situation requires further investigation. She could either be reading too much or there may be some truth to her suspicions. We can't really tell. If this goes on and the wife is bothered by it, she might have to consider letting the made transfer to another work place and they get a new maid...
@jdawg011 (498)
• Canada
16 Feb 13
Hm, he may have a bit of a crush. Or he may just want to be friendly to her so she feels welcome working in their home. Maybe he is just being polite and kind to her!
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
18 Feb 13
you have a point both answers could be whats going on,let me hope it doesnt grow to anything more than him being friendly.thanks.