dating...

Kenya
February 20, 2013 11:01am CST
I'm dating someone on line n its been a year n we've never met! I'm beginning to lose hope of that ever happening. N now I have a crush, (or is it lust?)for one of my friends. I feel like I'm cheating on my on-line boyfriend, even tho it sounds crazy!
11 responses
@redredrose (1106)
• United States
20 Feb 13
Chatting online with someone for a yr is not areal relationship and you never met in person so who can liking someone else be cheating? Also you have had an online relationship with this guy for over a yr are you ever going to meet him in person and what has kept you from doing so b now? You don't know what the guy's life is like when he's offline. He could be married or dying or chatting with others like he is with you and you'd never know. Now i'm not saying move on from the online guy what i'm saying is find out more about him if you can. See if he chats with others like he does with you see if you can meet in person and such before you make the decision of weather or not to be with him or the guy your friends with. Just remember be very careful because you never met the online guy in person so when and if you do meet do so i the most public area you can find and don't take him to your house. Just get to know the online guy as well as you can and find out weather hes lying to you about himself or whatnot. Also i think your having feelings for your guy friend because hes around you and the online guy isn't. Well get to know about the online guy before you make any decisions. Good luck and be very careful.
• Kenya
28 Feb 13
Clear. Thanks Redredrose!
@Raine38 (11514)
• United States
20 Feb 13
This is just me and my personal opinion, but as long as you and the guy haven't met in person yet, that cannot be referred to as a real life relationship. We all know that everyone can be anybody else online regardless of whether you already see them real time over the internet or what. So I don't think you're cheating because there isn't even a real relationship to begin with. Besides, how sure are you that you are the only one that that person is talking to online? I am not trying to shadow your happiness here, but I have been in LDR and now I am married to that same guy and I have lots of friends who also tried that but ended up getting hurt. I am just being realistic. If you really want someone to be in a relationship with that will end up in marriage, I think one year is enough to evaluate your feelings and situation if that is where it will really go. I am sure that you can figure this out. Good luck, and I hope you find that happiness you truly deserve.
1 person likes this
• Kenya
22 Feb 13
Thanks for the advise, Raine. All that has crossed my mind. I also realize that its quite possible to have a real r/ship with someone far away and not have a real one with those near u. We have some kind of connection. We chat everyday and talk on the fon every once in a while and also skype when we both have days off, esp in the week end. I don't think I'm in touch with anyone as much as am in touch with him. We talk about anything and nothing, lol! I just don't really get y its been so complicated to get together physically. I agree with u, one year is enough.
@stanley777 (9107)
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
I'm confused, do you mean your on line friend and you have mutual understanding already. What I mean is, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship even you though you haven't met him/her but through chat only. It is possible to fall for a guy/girl even through the net, because I have a niece who also found her man on line. The first they met was when the guy invited her family to visit his country which they did. When my niece came back home, after a year the guy followed her and the next thing I know is, they are about to get married. I guess when their family went to their country they have already finalized their nuptial date. I think you are not cheating your on line boyfriend as you have said, it's just crush with one of your friend and besides, if your online bf is really serious about having a relationship with you, he must make the move to see you personally. What I mean is, to show that he really cares for you.
• Kenya
28 Feb 13
Yeah, Stanley, we have an agreement like that. He sez he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I guess he thinks there's no hurry to start, lol!
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
I'm happy for you both, I just hope it would happen sooner. Long distance relationship I think is very romantic.Wish you all the best my friend.
• Kenya
1 Mar 13
Thanks Stanley!
@blackrusty (3521)
• Mexico
20 Feb 13
I would not say its cheating you have never met the person but at the same time try to make it work and see with your on line love if there is any hope that they will soon becoming to vist or move
• Kenya
22 Feb 13
That is what I'm working on. I guess if by June he still doesn't have a solution then I will just have to cut my loses.
• Mexico
22 Feb 13
good luck wish you all the best be well
• Kenya
28 Feb 13
Thanks Blackrusty!
@aerous (13452)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
Well, I think you need to ask your online boyfriend to see you if he really loves you or not. If he is not willing for that agreement that's the time to say goodbye for him and continue having a crush on that person you like...
• Kenya
26 Feb 13
He sez he loves me n wants to spend the rest of his life with me. N that he's making plans to come c me. But the plans keep getting interrupted either by my or his work schedules. So now I have no idea what's going to happen. maybe we were just not meant to b...
@aerous (13452)
• Philippines
5 Mar 13
I think you better to talk about it, friend. Because if you cannot confirm what is going on or what is the reason why he never come?
• United States
20 Feb 13
Online dating can be tricky; I became really good friends with someone only and now we are engaged to be married early next year. Have you ever seen that show catfish on mtv, they help online lovers meet in person, but I'm not actually saying to go that route in order to meet him. Have you ever had a skype call with this guy, that can really tell you if your feelings are that strong for this guy after actually seeing his face. It can also be a way of if he is really lying to you about anything or not. I have been in a long distance relationship for a while with my fiance and I can always tell if he is lying to me (although he doesn't do it a whole lot). Let me get this straight though, have you ever even talked to this guy on the phone? Because if you haven't there is something very wrong with that. I suggest trying to get him on skype, or oovoo, or even facebook webcam and if he fights you on it you may as well just drop it and let your friend know how you feel.
• Kenya
28 Feb 13
Oh, good for u! Yeah, we speak on the fon, skype video calls as well as chats... We r in all normal communication. That is y its not making any sense y its taking this long to get together!
• Poland
20 Feb 13
If you have a crush on your friend then you're probably not that much into your online boyfriend anymore. Good thing to resolve that situation would be to finaly meet with that person. You would be able to tell if you feel something for him if you meet him face to face. If you meet him and you won't feel anything or if you won't meet him at all then I think you should break up. This relationship clearly isn't satisfying for you since someone else caught your attention.
• Kenya
28 Feb 13
I hear u. N that is very sound advise. I guess u r also right when u say my feelings for my on-line b/f might b waning a little...hmm.. food for thought there...
• Dhaka, Bangladesh
20 Feb 13
If you are confident that you are not cheating your bf, then do not worry. Now you can check the chastity of your bf. Because there are many instances, where many guys cheat poor girls, although they have wife/gf, kids etc. Better tell him to come and check his attitude. Have a very nice day.
• Kenya
22 Feb 13
Thanks Aminul. That has been my fear, even tho he sounds pretty sincere.
1 person likes this
@edsss17 (4396)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
You are losing hope because you haven't meet him personally. But, it is not impossible for you to fall for someone who is around you always while the other one is far, far away. But, it's probably just trials between you two. Don't you know that the most patient and faithful hearts shall be rewarded? :)
• Kenya
22 Feb 13
I hear u gal. On the other hand, when does patience lose its virtue?
@cupkitties (7439)
• United States
20 Feb 13
You're not cheating unless you've done something with this friend. Is there some legit reason why you guys have never met? If its that impossible then just end the whole online thing and go for your friend. Who knows? Maybe it is lust at first, but perhaps it could become something more.
• Kenya
22 Feb 13
Thanks Cupkitties for ur advise. Actually I don't see y we haven't met by now n everytime I ask him he sez he's trying his best but his schedule keeps changing! I told him last week to get his act together cuz I won't wait forever n he sed he heard me... let's c where that goes... I haven't done anything with my friend. We just flirt alot. N we get on well. But he's also taken... hmmm... think maybe I have a thing for unavailable men! Yikes!
• India
1 Mar 13
you have not seen him yet so how are you sure if he is honost with you? and I do not think if you are cheating him, you do not know him even.