How can he deal with his girlfriend?
@qianlizhifeng (468)
China
March 13, 2013 3:04am CST
One of my closest friends online had a talk with me some hours ago,complaining about something difficult to deal with in his life.He had married with a girl about two years ago,and had a baby.Therefore,it seemed that he had a wonderfully happy life with his family.But he met a girl who was six years younger in his office several months before as he told me.The girl was pretty and told him she liked him though she knew he had been married.He told her that it was impossible to keep some unuasal relationship with her because it would hurt both his wife and the girl.But the girl insisted that she would never care about it.He decided to be far from the girl but as they were colleages they almost met every day.At the same time,he worried if his wife got to know it,his family might have large problems.
What should my friend do?Should he leave his company?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@blaqwynter (218)
• Canada
13 Mar 13
It takes two to tango my friend... In other words, your friend did the right thing by declining anything with this woman. However; this woman seems to be naive enough to still want to pursue him. If anything this is marked as workplace harassment. He already said ''No.'' therefore she should take a hint and look elsewhere. If it keeps up, I'd tell him to let his employer know about the harassment. Why should he leave his company and put himself at risk of losing out on a good job? He did nothing wrong.
@qianlizhifeng (468)
• China
14 Mar 13
I think he must have some feeling with his colleage girl and meanwhile there must be something wrong with his present marrige.Otherwise he would not have such problems.Anyway,he should treaure his marriage and his family.Thank you for your wonderful suggestions.
@sheillaG0623 (171)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
basing on your story the girl has been very persistent getting what she wants. if the ur friend is happily married... he should tell his wife what is really happening if your friend is not interested with the girl. couples should be strong enough to handle this kind of situation and tell your friend that he couldn't handle this alone. he has to ask forgiveness to his wife first and then both of them must face the challenge.
@qianlizhifeng (468)
• China
14 Mar 13
I think there must be something wrong with his marriage,though he didn't tell me.Meanwhile he must have some feelings with his colleage girl.However,he also know that he should never do anything harmful to his wife and family.So he have such problems.I have told him to cherish his present marriage and family.Thank your for your ideas.
@jonastabuena (2307)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Why he leave his company? if only he don't entertained the girl on the first time, this thing would happen to him, the problem here, is if your friend give motives to girl to expect things from him, and now the girl is acting that way, the best thing to do is to ignore that selfish girl, the girl can't do nothing if your friend is consistent of ignoring her, though its really hard because they are colleagues, he can treat the girl in civil way. This is really hard if the both of them had already invested an emotion, your friend is so affected and i feel doubt about it. Or he can request to re-assign him to other branch of the company if he really wants to avoid the girl.
@qianlizhifeng (468)
• China
14 Mar 13
I also think he must have something unusual with the colleage girl,though he didn't tell me that.Meanwhile,there must also be something wrong in his marriage.He didn't tell me about his marriage,either.But I can sense it.I will pass your ideas to him,and make himself think about his life seriously.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
If he doesn't feel anything for the girl, then why would he make himself be bothered with this girl? It is hard to find a job right away. Jusz tell him to ignore the girl and never fall into her trap.
@qianlizhifeng (468)
• China
13 Mar 13
Maybe he did have some sense with the girl,and it brought him some troubles.I think there must be something wrong with his marriage,though he didn't tell me online.
Your idea is correct.I also think he should keep away from the girl,and cherish his present marriage.
Thank you for your replay.Happy mylot!
@Alisatan (190)
• Hefei, China
13 Mar 13
Oh, how dare his colleague do this? I just hate this gril like this. I think your friend should stay away from the gril and state clearly he didn't like her at all. I don't think it is necessary to think about the gril's feeling, as she just ignore the feeling of others'. I am so sorry for the wife and child. Also I am a little worried that your friend may get a crush on her...
@qianlizhifeng (468)
• China
13 Mar 13
I completely agree to your idea,and have told him to do something similar to your suggestion.He didn't tell me,but I can guess that he must have something wrong with his wife.However,his present marriage should be cherished anyway.So I think he should keep himself away from the girl in his company.
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
13 Mar 13
I think he should be honest with his wife and let her help him find a solution.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
I think he should tell his wife, before his wife knows about this from someone else. A good wife would understand. She might even be helpful in getting rid of the girl.
That girl is trouble. Something is wrong with her to do something that could ruin a family. Best to stay away from her, or maybe request to be assigned in another workplace.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
13 Mar 13
It depends. Does he feel anything for the girl. If not, I don't understand why it is a huge problem, if he has to work with her. Okay, he doesn't wanna hurt her feelings, but it's his workplace, and he has a place in it which he did all for. If his wife would be really jelous, there's a basic problem in their relationship.
If he likes the girl, kudos for him trying to avoid her. In that case, changing jobs could be a pretty good idea...
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
13 Mar 13
He doesn't have to critics his career, his work just because there's a girl who's liking him and wants to take him away from his wife and family, if he really doesn't feel anything for that girl, then there's nothing for him to worry about, he can keep on ignoring him and just doing his job there. If the girl is so persistent to the point that his work and private life are being affected, he can seek help from their HR manager and have the matter handled professionally. He might also seek to be in touch with the girl's family for some help.
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 13
Yes, it is so hard for him. I think it is a good idea if he leave his company and looking for other job. I think it is the best way to save his family and avoid hurt her wife and her child. But he should talk this problem to his family include his wife...I know it is so hard but the honesty is the best way to solve the problem. If he does not leave the company maybe he will love to the girl as well, because they always meet everyday...I hope your friend have big heart to solve the problem and save his happy family...
