Stay-at-home mom or Working mom?

@ayeeesha (1127)
Philippines
March 13, 2013 3:40am CST
If you can choose between the 2, what would you rather be? A working mom with a stable career, or a stay-at-home one? I've played both roles and Imust say, both has its advantages and disadvantages. I'm just wondering what my fellow mommies out there would rather be if given a chance.
3 people like this
19 responses
@cherigucchi (13894)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I have been a working mom since the dawn of my marriage. Although there are so many set backs, I still prefer to have a career and earn my own money. We all need self-affirmation and satisfaction. We need to be independent and create our own individuality apart from being a mother. Besides, I only work half day so I still have a lot more time doing my responsibility as a mother to my children.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Work half-day? If I may ask, what do you do? But of course, self-worth is still important for women like us. Despite the responsibilities we have in the household, it feels good to be able to say that we are able to make money on our own and not become financially dependent.
@cherigucchi (13894)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
I am a teacher. And I only have six hours for teaching and after that I am free. But if there are some special activities or program, I do extend my time if I want to.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Wow. What do you teach? I also wanted to be a teacher, specifically a preschool teacher, when I was younger. I don't know what happened why I didn't pursue it :)
@else22 (4317)
• India
13 Mar 13
Being a male and the father of two kids I would like my wife to be a stay at home mom unless and until it becomes indispensable for her to have a job.This is because kids need to be under their mother's care and guidance.At the same time,prices are shooting up everyday,so I can't say how long would I be able to prohibit her from joining a company.Now a days it is necessary for housewives to contribute in the family income,but taking care of kids is also not less important.Answering the question is not easy.I have to think over it.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
You have the same thinking with my husband :) He keeps on saying he can provide for us even if I don't work and I trust him on that. But of course, I still want to feel like I can contribute in the household.
@else22 (4317)
• India
14 Mar 13
What you think is right.But if you have kids,they need their mother's care.Thus your husband too is not wrong.I would like to suggest you to talk to your husband and tell him what you want.I hope he will understand you.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Well, there's not much issue about me being a stay-at-home mom. Don't take me wrong but I do love where I am now. I just want to hear other people's opinion :)
@bellis716 (4800)
• United States
15 Mar 13
I, to o , have worn both hats. I believe I had it the best way. I got to stay home with my children most of the time while they were small. I did work part time only. About the time our youngest was in Jr. high, I went to work full time. The downside to that was that I just had a job, not a career. If you are concerned about teens having the house to themselves, my husband's job was such that he could come home at odd times. He did find one of our daughter's girlfriends asleep in her bed once. The friend had skipped school, and our daughter must have told her where we hid the spare key.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Well that's the thing. Kids or teenagers nowadays can be stubborn that when their parents are out of the house, they tend to do things they know the parents won't approve of.
@bellis716 (4800)
• United States
21 Mar 13
That is true, but the truth will come out eventually. That is why it is important to start training children early. I don't mean military drill, I mean training their conscience.
@kaka135 (14719)
• Malaysia
21 Mar 13
I will choose stay-at-home mom, though I also like my job. I am now a work at home mom. I am a motherly person, I suppose. I never thought I'd quit my job and stay at home to take care of my kids, until my elder son was born. When my elder son was born, I just knew that I want to be with him all the time, I want to be the one who brings him up, I want to always be his side, and then I planned to stay at home. This is never be in my plan, and income might be a concern to us, hence I finally decided to work from home. I really like to be at home with my kids, besides I want to spend time with them, sharing their childhood moments, also I would like to use my way to bring them up. I believe there are different ways of parenting, and I'm supporting attachment parenting. It's hard to request or find someone who has the same thoughts as me, especially in parenting, hence I decided to take care of my kid by myself, and I really enjoy it! Now that my second baby is already 9 months old, and I share all her growing up moments. I know when she is starting to talk, when she is starting to crawl and walk, it's so nice!
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
21 Mar 13
We're just the same :) I've always pictured myself as a career woman until I got pregnant. I decided to quit law school, with my husband's support of course, and take care of my baby. It's really hard to find a decent nanny these days that's why I make it a point to be with my baby in every stage of her development. And indeed, it is a wonderful feeling, being able to witness her milestones :)
@dorannmwin (36595)
• United States
20 Mar 13
I too have had the opportunity to play both roles in my life as well and there is definitely one that I would choose over the other. For me the choice that I would make would be to be a stay-at-home mother. The reason that I personally choose to be a stay-at-home mother is because I feel like when I'm at home with my children I am always available to them. I've been able to spend a lot of quality time with my children as a stay-at-home mother that I really missed out on when I was a working mother.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
That's true. It's different when you're able to witness firsthand how your child is improving and developing. But being a stay-at-home mom is difficult too.
@bretay61 (722)
• United States
16 Mar 13
i am a stay at home grandmother of 2..i quit when the oldest was born to keep her.they are now 8 and 11.being able to be there for a lot of the 1st moments is wonderful..i do know that it can be a change money wise..and that's something you have to think of.daycare costs are not cheap and sometimes not very good with children.i do not regret quit working work and keeping my 2 granddaughters.they are my life.and it has saved my daughter lots of money also.i pick them up at school,do homework,do the drs appts,whatever that i need to do.the best job there is..
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
They say its different when the grandmother takes care of her grandchildren. They tend to spoil them. My mom is like that with my daughter and whenever she has no work, she always takes care of my baby.
@Austee (132)
15 Mar 13
I'd rather be a stay-at-home mom. But in todays world, we should work also. It could make us more productive and happy.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Yes, I think it depends on whether the husband can sustain the entire household. If his earnings are not enough, then the mother should work as well in order to provide a better future for the kids.
@ShyBear88 (54262)
• United States
15 Mar 13
I'm already a stay at home mom. Now thinking about it I wouldn't change that at all. I like being ho,e with my kids and taking care of the, even when they drive me nuts.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Me too :) There are disadvantages of course but being with my daughter makes up for it :)
@nishdan01 (3051)
• Singapore
14 Mar 13
I prefer to be a working mom and I have been in both the stages. When you work, you are more independent and would be able to save some money. However, when kids are small, it is good to take care of them ourselves than entrusting them to a stranger. As a stay home mother, you may be able to see every moment of your child as they grow up.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
That's true. Seeing my daughter's milestones is beyond compare and surely no amount of money can repay that. But I'm thinking of going back to work when she's big enough already. Right now, I'd rather stay at home and take care of her. After all, she'll only be a child once and I want to be there for her as much as possible.
@Raine38 (11504)
• United States
13 Mar 13
Can I be a work at home mom instead in the future? I think I would prefer to be a hands on mom and be there for my kids especially when they're still young. At the same time, I wanna be able to keep house and be there when my husband comes home from work. And still, be able to use my education or talents into doing something that can bring in some money. Wouldn't it be more nice that way?
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
It is, indeed :) Nothing beats the love and care of a mother. And if you can, go become one. There's nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom :)
• Leesburg, Georgia
13 Mar 13
I am so happy with what I am doing right now because I have a career but I get to stay home with my children as well! I have a Childcare business, I love doing it and I get to stay home with my babies. I have the best of both worlds! If I went out and got a job I would not make as much as I make now from home. =) I am also able to Home School my kids because I stay home with them. I did have a job last year where I went there to work and I missed my kids horribly. I loved my job but hated being away from my kids...
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
Its good to know you can earn money through your business while at the same time, you are still capable of taking care of your children. You have the best of both worlds :)
@doroffee (4224)
• Hungary
13 Mar 13
I would be a working mom, definitely. I would kind of go crazy if I couldn't earn my money, and if I would be dependent on anyone. Also, it's always nice to achieve something and meet new people, other than doing the household jobs and be with the kids 24/7, with rarely meeting anyone who's at the same mental level as me :D.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
That's true :) Women should be given a chance to make a career on their own and be able to achieve something for themselves. It's much harder for women because there's so much pressure to be with the kids and attend to their needs. But of course, there are factors to be considered too, like what if the husband is not making enough money.
@jinjer168 (1597)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
HI THERE!right now i am a stay at home mom because I now have three kids. My 2nd to the last is only one and a half years old and my youngest is 5 months. i DONT THINK i COULD WORK KNOWING THAT THEY NEEDED MY ATTENTION. They're too young to be handled by others even if they're close to me. As of my point of view, I am the one who could take the best of care for them. Career could wait, ill be having one when they could at least talk and take good care of themselves alone...
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
That's my biggest consideration -- my kid's age. She is too young and I don't feel like entrusting her to someone else. I agree that career could wait, although my thinking is, will I ever get a chance to work again when the time comes? All I can say is, its so hard to choose because both have its ups and downs.
@TLilly12 (1229)
• United States
13 Mar 13
I have worked every since, I got out of high school, and I work when I was married, but when I got sick I had to stop working, out side my home,I like working online now better, than I did working out here, for some one else, I have my own work schedule, my own work hours, I can take time off when ever I want to, I can take my breaks when ever I want to, I can go on my vacation when ever I want to, I can't do these things, when I work some some one else, I have to do what the boss tells me to do, I have special vacation planned, for me and my grandaughter this summer, I can't do that working for some one else, I can take off as much time, as I want to this summer, I love working online, and I love being my own boss.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
I'm glad to know that you have that kind of luxury of being able to work at home :) Not all are able to do that due to financial needs.
• Indonesia
13 Mar 13
I am not a mommy yet, but my boyfriend told me when we are having children I have to stay at home. I am agree with him because I want to give full attention for my family since we don't have problem with financial. I can still ear money when I stay at home, like open my own online shop or something else..
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
I think a lot of men would want their wives to just stay at home and be with the kids. Nothing against them though. I was just thinking that since times have changed, men will change their view about women and realize that they too are capable :)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
I'm a stay at home mom, my son is 1 yr and 5 months only and Im thinking of working but I can't summon the energy to do so. I love staying at home but sometimes I also miss working. Been thinking about for months.....God help me.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
There are ups and downs actually. That's why I've been trying out many ways on how to earn online until I'll be able to figure out what to do. I love being a stay-at-home mom, taking care of my little one, but there are times when I feel useless since I can't help, especially when it comes to money.
@Angelpink (4018)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Hi there ! When the baby is still very small , i can't afford to leave the baby. In all her milestone , i should be able to witness it and be a part of it. No rewind of life ! What we will miss , will be missed ! When the baby is big , this is the time to pursue the career. When you can go for work at peace because baby is no longer that fragile and knows how to speak when in pain or discomfort.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Hi! Well of course, who would want to miss our baby's milestones right? Being able to witness it and see it for the first time is the beat feeling! :) by the way, How old is your baby now? :) I'm thinking of going back to school when my baby is big enough, say 7? But I'm still thinking about it. Right now, my baby is my top priority :)
@roshigo58 (4862)
• Pune, India
13 Mar 13
Hi, my wife is a housewife. I have only son and she is with him at every stage of his progress. She raised him with love and care. She completed her responsibilities effectively. Our family is happy because of her. But now a days costs of everything are rising and both parents have to go out for work to fulfill the needs. Stay at home mom and at work mom both have advantages and disadvantages.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
But from your point of view, would you let your wife work or its much better if she just stays at home? Did she make you feel like she's incomplete because she doesn't have a career on her own?
@elenaliu (150)
• China
13 Mar 13
I prefer to be a working mom,I don't want to rely on man when I get married and have the kids,I think the position for a house wife is very low in the family,it's better for women being autarkical.