Knock on my door or at least call my name before you enter my room
By mrswhitfield
@mrswhitfield (2044)
Indonesia
March 14, 2013 10:13am CST
I am so annoyed with one girl, she live next to my room. There are 4 of us renting room upstair and her room is next to mine. She is very cheerful, pretty, and friendly, such a perfect friend but one thing I don't like from her is she is having problem in respecting my privacy. When I close my door it means that I am doing something inside and not expecting someone to disturb me with a chit chat or any small talk. Let me finish whatever I am doing 1st. But she always enter my room without knocking or atleast asking me if she may come in or not. I never locked my door because sometimes I need to go to toilet or kitchen and it's easy if I let the door unlocked but closed except when I want to go out. When she enter my room she will touch everything, my cosmetic, my foods, my books, etc. It makes me loose my patient. Yesterday I decided to lock my door but keep the window open so if someone need something from me I can see them through the window. The other girl always knocking or asking me 1st if they may come in, but this one girl like usual hold the door handle and want to enter then she found it locked. I pretending that I did not know it was her, and I said "who's there?" then she answer "are you busy?" me:"yes, Im doing something" then she back to her room. I did not mean to be rude but I reallly need privacy. And today guess what? she stop talking to me
7 people like this
35 responses
@jonastabuena (2307)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
I also hate that kind of attitude, entering my room without knocking, showing no respect, even though the person is close to me, my best friend, my parents, my relatives, my rules is strictly imposed, knock before you enter, and also i don't want that somebody is touching my belongings with out my permission.
@r0ck_r0ck (1952)
• India
15 Mar 13
If you ask me, not talking to you anymore is very childish of her. Also, i do not get the part where she is your good friend but whenever she touches your stuff you get annoyed. That shouldn't be happening, friends are suppose to share everything. Last i checked, that is how friendship worked. Anyways, from what i read i think you do not like her very much so what you can do is talk to her and tell her that you need your privacy i am sure she will understand, do not let your actions speak for yourself, that is just plain rude. :]
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
15 Mar 13
I think you have made the right move and she got the message.
She is nearly perfect, and if she learn to respect others
privacy, that will be great. Be friendly to her as usual
and I believe everything will be fine. Perhaps you may relate
stories about others in similar situation and how to respect
other's privacy to her at an opportune situations with friends
around indirectly.
@elsino91 (440)
• Poland
14 Mar 13
I hate it when people do that as well. I don't really experience it a lot anymore but when I was younger and lived with my parents they would always barge into my room without knocking. They felt like it was their house so they didn't have to knock or ask for permission to enter. Its a violation of privacy and I certainly didn't like it. I wish I had had a lock on my door.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 13
Agree, it's a violation. We all need privacy and respect from everyone. My mom always did when I was still in elementary, but when I am in junior high I decided to put door bolt, thank God my mom did not complain. Thank you for the respond
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
21 Mar 13
I'm afraid I agree with your parents. It's their house, their rules and you are the child. You need a certain amount of privacy but - read what I said above. LOL.
I'm afraid that I think that dressing should be done in the bathroom and kids living at home should have nothing else they need to be private about, nothing to hide from their folks. If you don't like the rules, move out.
@sheillaG0623 (171)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I don't think your rude, because it is your right to lock the door of your room. and she needs to respect that. why don't you try to talk to her so she would understand how you feel about her actions. so things wont get worst right?
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 13
Good idea, I think I will talk with her tomorrow when she is back from work. Thank you for the suggestion. Have a great day
@sheillaG0623 (171)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
no problem... just be more patient to others... if they don't know how to show respect. then show them how.. that makes you better and beautiful person.
1 person likes this
@Lhadycarra (54)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
Hahaha' that's un-respectful to the owner! Oh well you can't blame maybe it is her habit :) Just don't hurt her feelings if you that she's a good friend that you can keep !
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
She is nice girl, I like her except her habit. I did not mean to hurt her feeling, I only need my privacy to be respect.
1 person likes this
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
Yup, thats what I up to, I need her to respect that there is a door that should be the boundary of my private area so when people want to come, especially if they are not my close family, they have to knocking or call my name and I will let them in. If I give permission someone enter my room it does not matter if they want to lay on my bed, reading my books or magazine or eating my foods. What pissed me off if they enter my room without knocking and straight into my things like it's their own.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
OOOhhh.. I know how that feels like. I think it's about being too close (familiarity breed contempt). I guess she felt that it was okay for her to do that to everyone. Perhaps she lacked sensitivity or since she's a pretty cheerful person, perhaps she thought that it didn't bother anyone. I guess she learned the hard way, but at least let's hope she learned her lesson.
My brother used to do that too. I guess that's normal because they're my brothers. So whenever I don't feel like talking to whenever I'm busy, I just lock the door. I think you should just practice that, so that they know that they couldn't enter your room any time they feel like it.
I don't know about her not talking to you anymore though, sounds immature.
Have a great mylot experience ahead!
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
yup she is pretty cheerful girl and very friendly, may be she only feel little bit disappointed because she can not enter my room as usual. I think I will start talk to her 1st today.
@qianlizhifeng (468)
• China
15 Mar 13
From your discussion,I can feel that you don't want to be annoyed but at the same time you don't want to hurt the girl,either.It showed the close relationship between the girl and you for the girl to enter your room without your permission.At least she treated you as her closest friend,who could share everything with her.
It might be her mistake not to respect your privacy,but maybe it was just because she didn't notice that.
I think if you want to keep your privacy as well as your friendship with her,you'd better have a deep personal talk with her to explain what you thought and what you are thinking.Maybe you can learn about something in her heart.If both of you understand each other,the problems will be resovled.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
Yup that's it. I am a friendly and love to make friend with people but there is some moment when I don't want someone disturb me. She is nice girl, except her habbit to enter our room without knocking or asking us if we are busy or not.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
That girl does not know her limitations. One's privacy should be respected. In our home, even if we belong to one family, we knock or call before entering anothers room. That is what we call respect. And how much more if we are entering the room of somebody else. She does not seem to understand what privacy is all about.
Well she should learn and maybe you are the one to teach her.
Well she should learn and maybe you are the one to teach her.@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
I will teach her
I want her to start respect someone else's privacy, I don't mind if she come into my room and use some of my things, but I don't like it when she enter my room like I was made for her.
I want her to start respect someone else's privacy, I don't mind if she come into my room and use some of my things, but I don't like it when she enter my room like I was made for her.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
15 Mar 13
Hi,
Though people may be aware about the manners and behaviorism, some people just ignore due the closeness and intimacy. Here, she is taken excess freedom upon you mainly because she behaved so freely and openly. Now, she must have realised that you got annoyed and suddenly it might have hurt her.
Anyway, as being friends and nighbour, you can walk in to her home and say openly that I was really busy doing something and if hurt, just forget. Also, you can frame some smooth story for the same and resolve this issue. Also, you can adivise her in your own way in a friendly way, if she is minor to you and try to be friendly with her as you like her and always be good with neighbors for a better smiling and pleasing atmosphere around.
thank-s
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
Hi, you have a great point here.
I am planning to talk to her this afternoon when she is back from work. I like her and I don't want to be in silence with her since we are separated only by a wall.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
Well, she was so shallow! She needs to know that people want to be on their own sometimes. And no one should just barge into other people's room.
If she doesn't talk to you for good, so what? She is not the kind of friend worth keeping.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
Good point! All of us sometimes need time only to enjoy it by our selves. She is nice girl, but she need to change her habbit a little bit.
@blaqwynter (218)
• Canada
14 Mar 13
Some people have no common sense within them. I have also lived with people like that, and as an avid ''nomad traveler'' I hop from resort to resort for seasonal work and you'd be surprised how many people do this in your provided accommodation. But to have your housemate to not talk to you anymore... Maybe she realized or finally it sunk in! Who needs jerks like that anyway? I like my friends to have at least some common sense and respect.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
I will be so grateful if she realized that I don't like the way she always enter my room and touch my stuff. I hope she does not think that I want to keep a distance with her. I will talk to her soon.
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
i will do the same thing if i were you.. i am a private person and i don't want somebody else just go to my room and feel relax touching my things.. there are people who don't care if they are crossing the line i hope she will realize what is wrong with her or maybe if you can why not talked to her about her attitude so she will know what is wrong with her..
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
Yup, I don't feel comfort if people come into my room and touch my private thing without my permission. I will talk to her today, I hope we will be ok after this.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
14 Mar 13
No, you weren't rude. Maybe she will understand now you just don't walk into a person's room without being invited. To stop talking to you is strange though. Maybe she's a needy person or thought you had a friendship that it was okay to waltz into your room whenever she felt she needed to talk to you. Wonder if she did this with other people there?
I would try to chit chat with her outside my room when see her and get a feel for what's going on inside her head. Or maybe you don't want to know and are thankful for the peace and quiet - LOL.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 13
She is nice girl beside her habit to walk into my room like I don't have something to do and always waiting for her.
@anilhclites (844)
• India
14 Mar 13
Yeah when you have closed the door, the pretty girl has to understand that she should enter with a permission. Even with the family members, this trend is on. But some people like to enter other room without permission and they even don't mind other people entering their room without their permission. So either you talk to her regarding this or locked your door when you are doing something private that you don't want her to let know.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
I will talk to her and also buy a latch for my door. I only need some privacy sometimes and need time only for me like the other girls do here. it seems like she is kind of girl who can't live alone, she always need someone to talk to.
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
14 Mar 13
Hi,
Really, that girl behavior is very annoying. Your privacy is disturbed by her. You have to lock the door unwillingly, it is troublesome for you. You should tell her straight forwardly that she should knock the door, she should not come directly into your home. Otherwise she would become a headache for you.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 13
I have plan to put a latch on my door so I do not have to locked it, I am bit worry with the keyhole, it seems they key will break if I turn the key into it's hole too often.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
14 Mar 13
Sad to hear about that girl. She must follow certain manners before entering other persons room. Your topic clearly shows that she don't have manners and take a lot of rights with you without your permission. This kind of activity is wrong. Don't worry for missing that girls friendship.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 13
She is nice girl beside her habit to enter our room as she wants. It wont bother me if she is not talking to me for a while since she is the girl who always borrow other girls' stuff like slippery, iron, umbrella, etc.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
14 Mar 13
I guess they weren't thought about respecting someone else's privacy in their home. If I were you, I would have set her straight the first time she did that. I mean, the door is there for a reason, and since I am paying for the rent for that room, then it is but my right to close it and to seek refuge and privacy if I want to.
I wonder if it is okay with her that someone else will just enter her room without knocking.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
I have never seen other girl come into her room, may be because her room is very messy. The other girl sometimes come to my room but they always asking me 1st if they may come even when they see me watching TV and the door is open, but this one girl will walk straight into other girsl room. Me too sometimes go to other girls room but I always knock or at least call their names if the door closed.
@jdawg011 (498)
• Canada
14 Mar 13
That is really frustrating. People need to know there are boundaries to these sorts of things. I think you may just have to explain that you would really appreciate if she knocked before she came in.
It is actually considered extremely rude to barge into someone's personal space like that.
Another similar annoying thing is when people come into your room and leave the door open when they leave -.-
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 13
-,- That one thing she always do, never close my door.
I am planning to talk to her today when she is back from work, I hope she'll get what I up to. Thank you.
