I am sick of this question.."Haven't you got a suitor yet?"... Its unbearable
@night01watcher (259)
Italy
March 28, 2013 1:38am CST
"When will you get married?"
Yes that question.
I am originally form Asia (Pakistan).
To be honest people here think that if a girls doesn't get married or engaged by 25, its like she has committed a crime or may its like death for her.
I am going to be 25 this November and I am single. So this is extremely frustrating for me to listen to people hushed voices. Most of the girls my age or even young have got either engaged or married.
Well seriously this isn't my fault if i haven't got a guy yet.
I mean on one hand the society doesn't like interaction between a girl and a guy before they are engaged and on the other side they will literally eat you brains for not being engaged till 25th.
These kinda thing starts happening as soon as you turn 20 here specially a girl. People from my country would know what i am talking about.
I mean this is stupid, its not like the end of some one's life. You cannot actually force someone to marry someone. Things like these happen when its time.
So cut the crap out people, grow up and stop frustrating young girls to the limit that they feel useless and piece of crap.
Stop doing this to your daughters and sons. Its not their fault if they haven't found a suitor yet. Stop blaming them for what isn't in their control.
If they are such a pain in your a$$, why did you even bring them in the world in the first place.
LET THEM LIVE!!
LET ME LIVE........
----- One Angry Girl
4 people like this
18 responses
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
28 Mar 13
I don't know which religion you belong to but I have also gone through the same passage and believe me that reading "Gita"(Hindu religion book) helped me a lot. It shows you the path of peace and will let you out of the depression and frustration. I have learnt that coming to this world is not about finding a life partner but only a way to get to the God. This human life is given to us to find the right path to the God, which will lead us to freedom from coming to earth again and again.
It helped me a lot!
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
I understand your feeling and it's really frustrating that people in your country are treating woman like small girls.
It's hard to condemned everyone in your country- this kind of thinking will keep for another decade or century (we never knew)
I am sure you are not alone having this feeling towards your people.
Wish women will be given the right to choice and what does freedom really means.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
I have a friend who comes from another country with this same kind of thinking and I can't help but to pity her (for there is nothing I can do to change anything)
It also broke my heart hearing cases like this (for I am also a woman)
I may say I am more fortunate than you and the other girls out there suffering this discrimination thing - and wish I can offer a thing to help you, at least to lighten your feeling :)
@night01watcher (259)
• Italy
28 Mar 13
Well you are right jaiho2009, woman's right is a big problem in all under developing countries. My parents are very very supporting, but the relatives, they just like to talk and its basically because of them that I am so hurt
@night01watcher (259)
• Italy
28 Mar 13
Thank you so much :) It good to know that there are people in the world who think same as you do :) And frankly, i felt lighter just after i posted my rant here on mylot :)
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
I can understand what you mean, I think people just blurt out anything without even thinking if they could be hurting others or not.
@night01watcher (259)
• Italy
28 Mar 13
I don't like this really, they don't even care how their every single word is affecting the subject.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
It's difficult to be in a culture where at the age of 25 , a girl is supposed to be married.
I got married and had a child at 31. That's because my husband and i enjoyed our being sweethearts first for about 3 years.
Though, when i was 28 years old and have broken up with my boyfriend, my male office mates keeps teasing me of not getting married yet. But i didn't get affected. I am enjoying my single blessedness and i know i will meet another man who will eventually be my husband.
And it sure happened. 
@night01watcher (259)
• Italy
29 Mar 13
hmmmm :S, I think i shouldn't get affected as well, things like these happen only when its time, there shouldn't be a rush.
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
28 Mar 13
i can understand about how you feel. two years ago, a pakistani friend of mine was worried when he couldn't find a husband for her 2nd daughter. i understand that it is the usual practice for parents arrange the marriage of their children.
women from other cultures would find this hard to understand. i for one would never have married someone that was not my choice.
this situation is not your fault. even if you reach the age of 60 and you're still single this doesn't mean that you're a lesser woman. what about your parents? are they not searching for someone for you?
my pakistani friend found a husband for her daughter and he went home last january for the wedding.
@night01watcher (259)
• Italy
28 Mar 13
My parents are searching for the suitor but the thing is wither we don't like the family or they don't like us. But i really think these decision should be made with much concern and care because as it is said here that not only two lives are going to be affected but whole two families will be affected by the relationship. So my parents are actually very supportive in this regard but other relative they make it impossible to breathe for me
@night01watcher (259)
• Italy
28 Mar 13
I have fought their negative thoughts for five years, and still am fighting.
But sometimes it becomes impossible for you, sometimes you feel like you have had enough. That's why i came here to express my feelings ;(
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
28 Mar 13
it is one of the most important decisions that your parents ever make for you.
your life would depend on their choice and you're right, it isn't easy. i know it's hard but don't get bothered by your relatives. they are not the ones who will be getting married. it's you and it's your life.
@Eveeox (27)
• United States
28 Mar 13
Maybe it could help if you related yourself to the old Chinese ways. Back then, once they got of age, they were force to marry whoever the father brought home. If not they were banned from the family and either kicked out or locked in their room. Another hold back for them was they could only have 2 children. 1 boy and 1 girl. If they had anything else than that, it would either be taken by authorities and put into a foster home, sent to another country, or just be killed. If you've ever read the giver, you could get the similar idea but, believe it or not, a lot of countries are like that. I'm not exactly sure on how women put up with it such as yourself but maybe if you looked into some biographies of some past housewives or such, maybe it might give you some ideas on how to cope.
@night01watcher (259)
• Italy
29 Mar 13
Yes there still are some regions in my country where these kinds strict rules are followed, Thanks to God my parents aren't barbarians *phew
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 13
I think that when you find your suitor you will be overjoyed with happiness and so very much in love. You have intelligence and you haven't got nasty words like the others seem to have. Take no notice of the people that moan about you not having a suitor just yet.
It is best to have children before age 40 years old. Therefore even if you marry at 29 years old you still have time to have two or more children. Just imagine you could marry at age 26, 27, 28 or 29 years old. I hope you find your dream man sometime in the next four years.
Many that marry will be divorced in a few years time. The ideal man for you is for keeps. Good luck.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
29 Mar 13
I know. Some girls just know how to get a guy. Should they offer flirtation courses in college or what? It is just a fact of life---some girls flirt a lot, others are not that type and guys have high respect for these girls they are afraid to go near them.
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
28 Mar 13
Wow one angry girl
I am 37 still single and l am from india. I am going through the same situation. But people are people they will say some thing dear. Either you do good or bad. So ignore them and live your life.
Happy mylotting.
@ladysilver (370)
•
28 Mar 13
I know what that means.You can ask them questions too, are they the only who have right to ask questions?Remember that these questions never end.When you marry they ask you if you're not pregnant yet, when you have your first child, they ask you when you're planning to have your second child, and so on, and on.The best thing my dear is to change the subject.Just don't talk about it with them.Make it a taboo topic.Say:It's God's will.It's in Allah's hands if you're Muslim.When you will be more confident, you can ask them:Why do you want to know?Why it is so important to you?You'll see, they have no answer.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
28 Mar 13
I had kind of the same experience in my society/community, but with boyfriend. Here, it's normal if you get a boyfriend at like 13+, and all the relatives have been asking with winks and stuff if I have one... later my mother and my best friend's mom started hinting that I might have too high expectations or I'm too immature (and my mom said I'm too overweight), and that it's not normal. But I was just unlucky... now I have a boyfriend, and now I'm glad that I didn't have a boyfriend at 14... missing all the teenage drama and immature stuff.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 13
So, what do they propose you do, jump for the first guy you see, regardless of whether you love him or not? That is just crazy, people can be so judgemental, there should be no stigma attached to not having a suitor. It's your life, not theirs, no one should be dictated to about when they should be married. Some people spend their lives looking for the perfect suitor, who imposed an age limit?
@santuccie (3384)
• United States
28 Mar 13
I understand where you are coming from; pressure is the same in my country (probably just about everywhere). You are viewed as a late bloomer, not yet an adult, if you are not yet married. Difficult as it is, you must try to ignore the shallow-minded beliefs of those around you. Your chances of convincing them (truly convincing them) that they're wrong are slim, if they haven't yet figured it out for themselves.
To quote Dr. Phil:
"Do you feel social pressure to get married soon? It's possible that from a very young age you were taught that marriage is a right of passage and you don't become an adult or a woman until you get married. Remember that this social pressure, real or imagined, doesn't make it true. You do not become a full-fledged adult by becoming married."
It is quite possible that you may be more mature than some of those who are putting this pressure on you. All people are not created equal when it comes to insight. Some have the gift, many do not.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Hi there ! A big hand for you for not getting marrying early ! I adored people who are not into rush in getting marry . They are driven , goal oriented and ambitious. Why , what is there to be in hurry for ? Is it a contest ? One million awaits for you there ? I can't understand why others so in rush ! I really pity those who marry early because they have enjoyed life much and here joining and talking another new responsibility. I want a lady should enjoy life to the fullest before entering that lifetime responsibility. I believed a woman can be very effective in having a family if at an early life she was able to enjoyed it much. There were some ladies who haven't tasted life of a teenager because at an early age got married already.
@Hugsy25 (274)
• Canada
28 Mar 13
I wouldn't worry about it one bit. The world is changing and it's time to start living life instead of how people think it's suppose to be. So enjoy life and don't worry about whether or not you have a suitor yet. You meet people when you least expect it.
