My ex is in a new relationship

@dream_ozn (1754)
Singapore
April 7, 2013 3:34pm CST
Just a few days ago, i posted on Mylot saying that i get this weird and indescribable feeling because my ex of 6 years just changed his relationship status to in a relationship. and today i see him posting a photo of himself and his new girlfriend on FB. This marks their official announcement to the world that they are together. Surprisingly, I feel quite okay perhaps because i sort of got 'pre-warned' that he is already attached and i will soon see him standing and hugging a new girl. It's 7 months now after we broke up last September. I know of feel like 7 months is quite a short period to heal ourselves plus the fact that we were together for like 6 years. But there's no explanation in love. How long were you single before you had your next boyfriend?
5 people like this
18 responses
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
7 Apr 13
six years in a relationship is over. i am happy to hear that there is no trace of anger and hatred. it is amazing to know that you are able to overcome any ill-feelings towards your ex-boyfriend. probably it is also time to find someone or be open to some suitors to build your own relationship. i wish you the best in your new relationship.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey mensab, thank you for reply. I'm happy that there's no trace of anger and hatred in myself. I do not have any hatred to with regards to him i think becasue he was nice to me and he treated me well. You are right it's time to open myself up to suitors and to build my new relationship. thank you very much for your wish. I really appreciate it
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
7 Apr 13
You need to get over him and move on. Make yourself happy there.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey mariaperalta, thank you for your reply. I definitely need to get over him. But i think i've kind of get over him already. But I still get alittle affected whenever i see him posts on FB. Not too sure what this means thou. But you are right, i need to make myself happy.
• Mexico
9 Apr 13
I can understand that, what if you delete him from fb?
• United States
8 Apr 13
TIme will heal. But to me seven months is a short time but it depends on the break up too. But i would say if he moved on i would too. Dont cry over spilt milk
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey nenaandtrey, i think 7 months is a short time too. But love is difficult to say. Furthermore, my ex is 7 years older than me and he is now 30 years old and probably wants to get married already :) definitley, don't cry over spilt milk and i will definitely move on with my life.
• Singapore
8 Apr 13
I have not been in a relationship myself, but my sister-in-law's sister was in a relationship for 8 years. In fact they bought an apartment in preparation for marriage. However, she then met a guy who was more successful than her boyfriend and decided to go with the new guy instead, broke up and married the new guy within 2 years. Her previous boyfriend was a nice guy according to my brother hence I often wonder how hurt he was and if he has since moved on.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
8 years is indeed along time and what's more they already have an apartment in preparation for marriage. did you sister in law sister really love the new guys or just decided to go with him becuase he has more money? i hope she really love him. i hope her ex boyfriend move on with his life and is happy now. I cannot imagine how hurt he will be
• United States
8 Apr 13
Guys seem to move on quicker than girls, at least that's what i've noticed. six years is a long time, you seem to be handling this well. seven months seems short to heal, you're right. you'll find someone when the time is right for you and when you are ready. i've been single for over a year now, but my last relationship wasn't too serious because i wasn't actually in love. it was easier to move on from because things didn't work out well and neither of us were happy in that relationship.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
I think you are right that guys usually move on quicker than girls and isn't it just not fair at all :) Yes, i feel like 7 months is indeed quite a short period of time becuase 7 months when when he changed his facebook status which means that he probably started the relationship with this girl like 5 or 6 months after we broke up. Not that i'm concerned but still, i'm just thinking of it. Anyway, in love, there is no right or wrong amount of time that we have to wait before getting attached again. you were in a relationship but not in love :) i'm kind of curiosu. would you like to explain further? But indeed, it's easier to move on if things are not workign out.
• China
8 Apr 13
Hi, maybe you did not put down your last relationship. Now you are say good-bye to him, It is no use for you to cencern his new relationship. Maybe you also could start a new one. You were not get rid of the status that you were his girlfriend. The years you stayed with each other mean nothing.My friend and her ex-boyfriend were together for about 7 years. Make ourselves happiness and let it go.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hi hsllhl, i think i have sort of move on. but you might be right. i have not yet put down my last relationship and that is why i always get affected whenever my ex post something on facebook. Now it is official that i say good bye to him becuase he already has a new girlfriend. Indeed, there is no use for me to be concern about his new relationship. Definitely, i need to make myself happy and in order to do that, i need to completely let go :) thnak you for your advice.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 13
We all heal in different ways and in different time factors, some people take longer, others heal quicker, there's no right or wrong period of time. I have been separated from my ex for 6 years now, and I have no clue if they are dating again, I could actually pity the person who ends up with my ex, but that's mainly we didn't end the relationship well, my ex was mentally abusive, so it was a blessed relief to be shot of them. I only hope the next person makes them happy, because they were obviously not happy with me. I don't wish either of them malice, life is too short. People move on.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey wolfie, thank you for your reply. and yes, you are right in saying that the time of healing is different for everyone. And indeed, there is no right or worng. i'm sorry to hear that your ex is mentally abusive. that really sounds like a very bad relationship that you had. You were really blessed to be out of that relationship. Did your ex had to seek help or anything like that? I hope he will mend his ways because whoever ends up with your ex will definitely not be enjoying it. I also hope my ex new girlfriend makes him happy and is better than me in making him happy. Exactly, do not wish them malice because we have other better things to do in life :)
• Philippines
8 Apr 13
In my case it takes me years to move on and engage for new relationship, i see to it that i'm fully healed before having a new relationship, i don't want to use a person just to ease the pain i felt. If i engage into a new relationship right away after my break up, maybe that relationship will not last also.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey Jonastabuena, thank you for reply. Indeed, it's not good to get into a relationship right after we break up becuase we will just transfer whatever feeling we have to our new partner and that is really nto a good idea. you are right, the new relationsihp might not last too. Are you currently in a relationship?
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
7 Apr 13
I'm happy for you that you are good with this and not holding a grudge or wanting him back. Seven months for a man is pretty good. Most find someone within a month or two. I broke off with my ex and a year later I found my new love and have been with him since. That was twenty-five years ago at the end of this month. The day I met him was the changing point in my life. I'm so happy I made this decision to leave the ex because if I hadn't I wouldn't have the amazing life that I have now.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey lelin, thank you for your respond. Indeed, i definitely do not hold a grudge against him. ANd i definitely do not want him back too. it was good in the past, but it's a different story now. You already make me feel better by telling me 7 months is good for a guy. I'm happy that you are with your man for 25 years. That's a really long time. My 6 years cannot be compared to yours at all. Exactly, if we do not leave our ex, we will never meet other amazing guy :) i'm happy for you :)
• Philippines
7 Apr 13
Yes, coming from a broken relationship that had been for 6 years is really hard to forget and to move on fast. But In love there is a lot ways of gaining and regaining the true, consecrated, committed and devoted genuine love relationship. Sorry to say that I have not been a victim of a broken relationship. So, your experience is I cannot give a sound comment or advice because proudly I can say, I have never experienced it.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey comment please, thank you for replying, it definitley means alot to me. Indeed, 6 years is one long relationship and it is definitley not easy to move on. However ,i think i'm good now, it's just htat whenever i see him posting something on FB, i get kind of affected. But it's getting better already. You are really lucky not to have been a victim of a broken relationship. How long have you been in your current relationship?
@Kementari (138)
• Canada
7 Apr 13
I was in a relationship for 5 years, we had plans for marriage, jobs, and kids. However, he ended up cheating while he was away for school and it took me a long long time to heal. I still feel weird when I see people asking my ex how him and his supposed new girl are doing, but I think to myself... at least I now have a guy who cares about me enough and who respects our love that will treat me right, so I am not really bothered by it anymore. To answer your question, I was in my new relationship 8 months after my ex cheated on me, and in those 8 months it was incredibly hard but everyone takes different amounts of time to heal and move on.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
That's really bad. i really hate guys who cheat plus you guys have already talked about marriage, jobs and kids. How could he do that? But still i'm happy that you are separated from him because this is a guy who cheats and you don't wnat to end up with him. But i'm happy to hear that you now have a guy that cares about you. I'm glad that you are not bothered about that guy anymore. Do not waste your time on such a person. 8 months is good enough for your to heal and you are right, everyone takes different amount of time to heal. But most importantly, all of us have to move on.
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
7 Apr 13
yes we have to let go of our past and well glad to hear your ok with it mine has only been gone a few months and well if i was not so stressed i would have kept him as a friend but i had to block them have a great day
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey blackrusty, indeed, i have to let go of my past. You meant you would kept your ex as a friend on Facebook or as a part of your life?
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
8 Apr 13
Hi friend, it is not easy to make sure how long we have new boyfriend, because there are many factors that influence the process. We cannot force ourselves to love someone although we want it. It is not easy to find the boy that can heal our broken heart. I think it depends on our lucky...Have a nice day...
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey srisahara, yes, we cannot force ourselves to love someone an it is definitley not an easy ting to heal our broken hearts. But all of us should move on! Have a nice day too
• Philippines
7 Apr 13
you should be happy for them. its good to know that he already moved on, and also you should do the same. accept suitors as possible because its too long being single for 6 years.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey yengnimcdo, indeed, i'm happy for them and i'm glad that my ex has moved on happily. I really hope that his new girl will make him happy and wil be a better girlfriend than me. i definitley have to move on too :) i don't think i want to single for 6 years. i am hoping to get attached soon :)
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
10 Apr 13
Hello Dream, watching our ex with another girl is not easy. But I think you have passed through the hardest days. I was 7 years with my ex. And then he married a girl 7 months after we broke. I was alone for almost two years. And I returned to "my first". And he wanted us to get enganged. But guess what? I was enjoying to be single and got engaged in a church ministry. I was discovering the world after 7 years of attachments. However "my first" pushed a little bit more. And then we got married, and we have three children, we have 17 years of being married. Block your ex at facebook. You must never give up to make your dreams become true. Blessings Dream... dainy
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
7 Apr 13
Well, maybe I should not even answer this question, but still I would like to say also my opinion. Starting at the "bottom", ie to your question that closes your post, I must say that I, despite having arrived at the ripe age of almost 38 years, I have never been engaged! It seems strange, however it is so, and in the future I will continue to be single forever. So to stay on topic, I can tell you, after all you have stood up well to the "shock wave" after 6 years that you were hooked up with a boy, now see him with another, in short, of course! New life for you and a new life for him.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey alberello, thank you for your reply :) Since you are single now, do you hope that you will get into a relationship someday? Or are you happy with your current life? Exactly, a new life for him and i'm too embracing my new life :)
• Indonesia
22 Apr 13
It’s good that you can let it go. Six years relationship surely not an easy one to let go. I’m glad that there is no anger or hatred. If you ask me for how long I’ve been single. It seems that I am being single for so long time. It’s great you can move on from this ending of relationship.
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
7 Apr 13
hi, there. i remember i told you that this is bound to happen. i'm glad you're okay and you don't feel the hurt anymore. now you know that it is really true. everything passes with time. i can't remember the gaps between my ex BFs when i was young. LOL i'm happily married and at my age i don't really think about them anymore. it's not the length of time that counts. it's your feelings about yourself, about your ex, and about the future. if you feel you've already gotten over him and you're ready to move on, then you are ready. who knows? maybe you'll meet a guy who's going to sweep you off your feet tomorrow... good luck.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
9 Apr 13
Hey dagami, Thank you so much for following my post. I remember you were the one who told me i should block him from my FB update page so that i will not get bothered about him when he post the photo of him and his new girldfriend. Yes, everything passes with time, and i'm glad it does. I'm happy that hear that you are happily married. Since you are already happily married, don't bother to remember about the length of time that passes between your ex. ANd you are right again, it's not the time that counts, its our own feeling that we have to deal with. I hope I meet a guy soon as well! thank you for your well wishes :)
1 person likes this