combining lives

@savypat (20219)
United States
April 14, 2013 2:41pm CST
I wonder how people do this, say in their thrities and forties? I was married young and so my whole life has been together with my Hubby. But how people do this who already have children, jobs, friends and may even live in different cities. The attraction must really be strong?
3 people like this
6 responses
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
14 Apr 13
Great question! Being in my late thirty's and single I wonder if I ever met the right person would we mesh well. I am quite set in my ways and enjoy living alone. I don't know if I would like to "start over" - but I guess if I ever met the right person then it would be much of a problem because I would want to accept them into every aspect of my life.
@GardenGerty (134889)
• United States
14 Apr 13
One of the hardest things for me is sharing my time. When first married the first time I had to get accustomed to military deployment, then shift work, then over the road trucking. I went from being raised to be very dependent to in the end being very independent, and also taking care of my first husband while he was ill and dying. Always being the Mom to my kids and sometimes the dad as well. Now this new husband is retired. He is here all the time. Even when he works, he is trying to make me dependent again. He is eight years older than me, and I will likely outlive him. I have to sometimes remind him that that is not always in my best interest to have to depend on him. We get along okay though and he is a wonderful friend and partner.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 13
If you love someone and want to be with them you will make it work out. you will want to see them happy and they want to see you happy. you do for them and they do for you. and so on.
2 people like this
@MoonGypsy (4610)
• United States
14 Apr 13
i don't understand your question. the attraction to what must be very strong?
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
15 Apr 13
I think what she's saying is that to leave your family or uproot children or leave your job, whatever ties you have and go to another state, the love must be very strong. Most people think their lives are set by their 30s and 40s. My life was never very set in stone. So that wasn't as much of a problem and I never had any children.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36634)
• United States
16 Apr 13
I too was pretty young when I got married so we really didn't have a lot that we had to combine. However, I remember that my aunt got married for the second time when she was about 31 years old and she did have a home with her mother, a daughter a job and more. When she and Tony got married, they did maintain three checking accounts; hers, his and one for bills and that is what worked for the two of them. They've been married for about 21 years now and things between the two of them seem to be pretty good from my perspective.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
15 Apr 13
I don't think there is much difference. If you are young I assume there is attraction and you as a woman will probably give in or up a lot of your own life and goals (if you already have any at all at a young age). If you are not able/allowed to pick out your own partner you will have to get along one way or an other (which probably means you as a woman give up a lot too). If the couple is young they probably don't look further as having children.. which is their nearest future. If you are older in your 40's you can do the same and have children. Which frequently happens also. If there is no wish or need for children anymore, there are still wishes, goals for the future. Being older doesn't mean life is over. You meet for a reason, might have same interest so you go for that. BTW it's not said that all "young" couples live in the same city/village or???
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28116)
• Malaysia
14 Apr 13
It is not easy for two people from different backgrounds to live under one roof and remain civil to each other for long. There bound to be some kind of misunderstandings but that could be easily thrashed out when there is love and understanding between them.
1 person likes this