Oh that poor lady!!!!

@Hatley (164264)
Garden Grove, California
April 28, 2013 2:15pm CST
I really think the owners are pushing it with some people they accept here or else they need to train the care givers to have more patience.This poor woman who has some sort of motor control nerve problems that make it almost impossible for her to steer her walker in the correct path as her arms and legs will fail out jujst fin allyh settled for the nearest table.. And she you can see she is really having problems. d settled at .But the care giver mostly assumed she just did not remember where she was assigned. But at least the care giver e walked behind her but kept making impatient remarks not thinking that the poor lady cannot control her arms or legs well. So they finally got her to her seat . Now I know by looking at her when we meet in the elevator that her problem does not affect her intellect as her eyes show a real awareness.So she is fully conscious that she has a bad problem and is unable to really make her body go where she wants it to. Most of us here can see that and sometimes help her if we can.But to get impatient with her over something she cannot help is useless and unkind., Your take fellow my lotters.
8 people like this
37 responses
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
28 Apr 13
This would suggest to methat the care givers are not trained to have patience. This is so awful it makes me feel angry and also sad. How I wish and pray that you were not there Hatley. I do not like how the people are treated
2 people like this
• United States
29 Apr 13
I agree, they should be trained better.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
ggr forgot to copy every damned word folks starting over i agree . I am not worried for myself but those who they take in here knowing that they really need care that they cannot get here well the owners shuld be ashamed as this lady really needs a place with real medical staff doctors and trained registered nurses not lay medical people. If they cannot do this at least train the care gieverss on how to treat these kind of residents so they will be com passionate and kind and patient.
@allknowing (84344)
• India
29 Apr 13
I was just wondering when people check in is there not a form that they fill out giving details of their health history? If not, its time it is done, as if the care givers know their wards they will handle them better. Just a thought.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi all knowing I remember filling ou5r a lot of forms but not a really thought out medical health formand th ats odd as that shou ld be o hand heer for everyonee. I k ow they did have some forms I hadto have my doctor fill out fot me that wwnt to the so called lay medical stalf.these are all lay people not doctors or nurses so they should stick to just ordinary retiring people with no exotic serious diseases that they do not know beans about here.
@allknowing (84344)
• India
29 Apr 13
It is frightening that even in homes such as yours they have no diet charts specially when seniors need that.
@GardenGerty (112521)
• United States
28 Apr 13
It sounds as if she has Parkinsons or Huntington's chorea. It is unfortunate that often the care givers in these group residences do not have compassion or understand the difficulties of the people they work with. They also forget that without people to take care of they will be out of a job. I hope there is the health assistance to help this lady.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi Garden Gerty she is really in a bad way. And today she seemed a lot worse.Once she was seated the lay medico aide checked her blood pressure and heart and stayed there for a good fifteen minutes. at least she is compassionate to the poor lady.These care givers need to knew that people in that condition cannot do anything to control their movements and try to have some sympathy and not scold them.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (112521)
• United States
29 Apr 13
Unfortunately the people who take these jobs are under educated and under paid. It may also be that the aid was having a bad day as well. If so she needs to step back and take a breather.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
yes as she is usually really good with people but I do not think she really understands the scope of what that ooor woman has and that she really cannot do much about what her body is doing.I have seen people with parkinsons so no she is worse than that. Its almost like her ody is doing an unusal dance and she cannot stop it.
1 person likes this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
28 Apr 13
The caregivers have no business to be making comments when someone has some kind of impairment. That is just wrong. Don't the realize the person knows this. They have no control it is not there fault it is the disease or condition they haves fault. I think they need to do some compassion training. Compassion for others.
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 13
hi marylynn thats it com passion, compassion training is just what they need The poor lady cannot help her conditon and I am sure if she could she really would.I watch her and thank God for whatever good parts of health I do have. I can still walk with a walker and my arms legs and body will obey brain's demands. I have learned more compassion than ever just living here.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Apr 13
Hi Hatley, yes it sure sounds like many of the caregivers/workers where you live need compassion and patience. I sure hope you are happy there. I feel so bad that you or the other residents have to go through things that are not necessary because of either lack of training or impatience. Some of the people that work with the disabled or elderly just should not be working with them.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
ys if they in tend to come here to wo rk they should know that they need common sense, compassionand caring. If they find that is just too much they should then quit and find a different job instead.I am just a adiabetic with arthritis so I do not demand much care from them at all. Most diabetics get ogood at self care.
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4059)
• China
29 Apr 13
I can understand your feelings on this one but I don't think we can fault the caregivers entirely for this one. For a start, these caregivers have other tasks to complete within a given day and while he/she is helping her to her seat, they would have to be mindful of another task waiting to be completed on the timetable. In this particular case, I felt that this dweller does need to be on a wheelchair considering her described condition and I have to wonder the reasons behind for not seeing to it. It is a much safer consideration since we do not know when accidental fall is going to take place which in her case can be extensively damaging or fatal even. Also, it will be easier on the caregiver to push her to her place than wait for her to make her own way. Another thing that came to my mind is the buddy system in your facility. I am wondering how is it that she does not have a buddy assigned to accompany and help her with her movements. Buddy system is good and relevant for both daily and emergency situations. On the point, I felt that this system is a little overlooked here.
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
first remember this is not a nursing home but a retirement center so they do not have a buddy system as this lady has too severe a n ailment that she needs a nursing home with real medical staff doctors and registered nurses too with hospital beds and room s.She needs more care than Gold Crest can give her as we have no medical staff at all just lay medial people just trained for a few medical jobs not doctors nor nurses either. as for the buddy system this lady dances and canot control her movements so buddys would not help her at all.retirement centers have no medical staff no hospital rooms nor hospital beds either.we are not fitted o ut for a nursing home.
• United States
29 Apr 13
I also cannot always control where I want to go either, but my anger is directed at myself first-why is my body attacking itself? I am aware that I walk more slowly than most , but when I get behind seemingly healthy people just shuffling along, I tend to get impatient. I cannot walk too slowly because my body will over compensate, and that's when I lose my patience. The caregivers may not be aware that she's trying to get where she needs to go. Obviously your friend is well aware when her body can't go further, and that's why she stopped where she was. Perhaps letting them know of her condition might help make them aware of what's going on, and if that doesn't help, perhaps a few words with management might go a long way. She's fortunate to have you as a friend!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi scorpioe she dcoes a reallybizarre sort of dance as she tries to move the direction she wishes to go so its some disease that affects control of her whole body,I am going to speak to the president of the residents as he has the liaison between the tenants ands the adins.They will listen tt him.
• United States
30 Apr 13
You are such a gem-you are always on the look out for the underdogs there and champion their cause! That woman is so fortunate to have you on her side. I'm glad that the president is so willing to fight for the residents-y'all are lucky to have him.
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
29 Apr 13
She sounds as if she might have ms or als, and the doctors have not made the correct decision yet. So she is not doing it deliberately and does not have dementia. So she really cannot help it. I know when my husband's health was going, he would fall down a lot, and they thought at first he had a stroke and we have the stupidest doctor in the world, he always makes wrong decisions. So maybe she had a doctor just as stupid. Maybe you suggest that maybe she could have als or ms. That might stop them getting upset at her lack of control.
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi suspenseful it is not ms or als as she is in motion constantly when she tries to walk and she looks like somone doing a bizarre kind of dance. I am gong to talk to the president of the residents her as he has the authority to go to the admins and they will listen to him.The caregivers need to know she cannot help it.We have no doctors or nurses here as its not a nursing facility so really she should not have been taken here.She needs to bei n a nursing home where there is a medical staff..
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
29 Apr 13
With als, the way to find out you have it is that your muscle under the skin starts twitching and you do not go and suddenly go into a wheelchair, it is very gradual. But she could also have palsy.
@emily7339 (1339)
• Malaysia
29 Apr 13
The care giver is indeed lacking patience in caring for her. She is supposed to do her responsibility well but did not carry out in kindness and with love instead . This really defeat her purpose of being here for the lady. I think she needs to reminded of her duty as this will be ongoing daily and the poor lady will be suffering like this over and over again . This is really sad .
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi emily yes she really surprised me today as I had thought she was more compassionate then that but she did sort of herd the poor lady back to her own table but she also made some sharp remarks to her.this was silly as if that poor lady could contol her movements she would, but she cannot so she needs all of us to be kind to her. Nobody wuld want that kind of dance that they cannot control every time they tried to take a step towards some goal.She cannot control those movements and its really hard for hers to either. Its ugly and painful to watch her bizarre movements as I know she cannot help it and she wishes she could.
@toniganzon (55745)
• Philippines
29 Apr 13
I think that the Caregiver should not be a profession but a privilege instead. I know a lot of people in my country wanting to be caregivers in a foreign country like UK because the pay is good, but are these people really capable of giving care? Most of them are just doing it for the money or they don't have any choice at all and just landed in that job. So they really don't have what it takes to have the patience and to care for their patients.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi toniganzon yes indeed it should be better paid and only really dedicated people should apply and they should be turned down if they are flippant or sarcastic..Now here in the US nobody is leaving a job if they can help it as jobs are scarce indeedd So these women here should be damned grateful they are employed and practice some caring and tact and compassion too plus good old common sense too.
• United States
29 Apr 13
You have said before that you live in a retirement community--not a nursing home. It does not have tiered care, does it? Rather, it is licensed as an assisted living facility? If that is the case, the facility really does have a limit as to whom they should legally be accepting. While we were looking for a place for my boyfriend's mother, we found a place that we liked. However, they legally cannot be the sort of place she needs. That being said, people who work in care giving positions need to be patient and caring. If one is an impatient person, one should work in a field that does not require such a high degree of patience.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi wilson yes they are treading on thin ice and almost had a law s uit when I first came as they took a woman who really was insane.When she physically attacked her room mate the owners admitted she did not belong here at all.so they had to call the relatives and let them get her in to a nrsing home with mental ward.There is no medical staff here at all. It is just assisted living for retired people and not all of us are old some are as young as thirty. Some retired young for various reasons. That poor lady really does not belong here as she needs medical care where there is a staff of doctors and registered nurses.She needs to be sent tp a good nursing hom e with skilled medical staff.
@blue65packer (11834)
• United States
29 Apr 13
Sounds like maybe this woman needs a place to live in that can handle her disability better. Were there are better trained caretakers. With the nation becoming older and older we will need more caretakers as time goes on! It is a growing indrustry. We need to train these caretakers to be more paitence and to be ready for anything! Not looking forword to being taken care of by younger people with no paitence and need more training in the future!
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi me either when I came here but I had no other place to go and they would take my social security and ssi checks to pay for room and board.we were made ho meless and my son thinking of myh saftey and age and health ot me in to this retirement center., He also as umed he would soon get a job soon be able to afford a two bedroom apt and i would juts move out of here. b ut it took a long time for him to get a job and the job does not pay the kind of money he needed f or rent on a two edroom apt, It actually takes two paychcks to afford most two bedroom apts, The rent is 1200 to 1400 a month. one thousand for a one bedroom ap ts.So he now has a job 8o to afford the rent on a one bedroom apt he got the help of Section 8 who lowers the rents on one bedroom apts to 30 perc ent of the person's wages.that made his rent 400 dollars whihc he can afford. So I am stuck here.
• United States
29 Apr 13
"there by the grace of God go I." I don't know who first said that quote but the caregivers should feel mighty grateful to not have that affliction. It could be a caregiver that has a problem one day. It's just ignorant to pick on people like that.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi poinlessQuestions yes we all should be gratefull when we see someone like that poor lady as its a really severe affliction and she shows that she is intelligent so it has to really grab at her a lot.To get upset with her is stupid.
@mariaperalta (19089)
• Mexico
29 Apr 13
Glad you and others try to help her. But maybe she needs to be in a diff. kind of home. One that includes for care for her for that. Have a great sunday there.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi maria yes thats it really as they should never have taken her here as she needs a place with a medical staff w hich we do not have.We have what they call medical care coordinators who are lay people trained to do some medical stuff but not for those things that are severe like this lady has..have a great Sunday too.
• United States
28 Apr 13
A care giver's job is not an easy one and patience is part of your job duties. Making remarks isn't. If she thinks it, that is one thing. Saying it out loud for the patient and passersby's to hear is not appropriate behavior. She should be reported for treating the woman badly or should retire if she can't handle her job and duties. It is a shame this woman is left to deal with her on top of all the issues she faces daily with her own body. She really needs to have a care giver that actually cares for her properly. Hope someone reports her so this lady will get someone who will really be there for her. She most likely won't want to for fear she will be treated worse until a new person is put in as her replacement. This usually doesn't happen if a stranger reports the care giver. The company will want to keep their good name and if witnesses call about her abuse, even if it is verbal will want to take action more quickly.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Apr 13
Some one needs to start getting pen and paper and writning this stuff to the head office. it does not have to have a name on it either. you are paying good money to live in that home and no one should be treated that way. I wish one of my family members would tell me something like this. I would go there myself and tell them off. People need to know we all get old at one point in our lives and such treatment is not tolerated. If they treat you like that you give me the number I will tell them the right way to treat people. thanks for the info for my mother I told her about the cremes. take care. I am with adrain so won't be here to see your post. good day.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 13
hi gifts I am seriously thinking of talking to the president of us residents as he is the liaison officer to take complaints to the tadmins here. I just wondered why others here do not ever get upse by something like that,. of coursee U spent nmost of my younger working years as a nurses aide in a hosptal so I know what constitutes good care and what does not.I gess a lot of them here just take it and and shrug their shoulders. I think something does need to be done.
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
28 Apr 13
Patience should be the requisite of any carer, as well as common sense! And you'd have to question why she would want to be a carer if she cannot show any patience. It is very wrong to assume anything.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi Wolfie patience and compassion too as that poor lady does not have any way to co control her movements and I hink its likely huntington's chorea which one cannot make your body do what you want it to do so arms and legs just flail all over the place. the care giver finally did help her to her seat but bawling her out was not necessary at all as its not her fault.u
@MandaLee (3735)
• United States
28 Apr 13
Wow. I am so sorry. I hope the lady gets a more patient and understanding cargiver in the future.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 13
hi Manda lee I hope so too as some of the younger ones do show some patience and understanding too.Anyone who is in that bad a condition I think should not even be here as I think she needs to be in a nursing home with a medical staff as there is no medical staff here and no hospital wards orbeds for ill people.
@bunnybon7 (41414)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Apr 13
i just wonder if your place there where you are living is cutting back on costs like other places all over and therefore is hiring cheaper, uneducated help in order to pay them less and save money. im really begining to worry about you and the people staying theres safety so much goes on thats not right. good thing you are so far able to do so much for yourself and others.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 13
hi bunnyhbon yhes I think thats most o f the trouble here as they need younge women with some ducaiton as these are all Mexicans and nost of them never even finished high school let alone go to college.If they paid better they cu ld hire better trained care givers who knew nore about medical conditions than the women they have here. I am surprised that they did not hire nurses aides since they will insist on bringing in people who really belong in a nursing home with medical staff not here.
@911Ricki (13591)
• Canada
28 Apr 13
This place sounds like the retirement home I worked in. They would acept anyone, just so they had a room and paying. People who should of been in a nursing home, one lady I remember was 500 pounds and they wanted me in a small small bathroom, lift her by myself, because in retirement they arn't regulated to have lifts.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 13
o ricki I do hope you refused.I was working in St ukes hospital trying to bathe a 300 pound woman up on the bed on my hands and knees when her doctor son walked in took one look at me nine months pregnant and took my arm and lead me back to the head nurse and lold her to write out my child birth leave as her sending me to bathe that huge woman , his own sister, could have made me go into labor right there. boy was he mad and he was the chief olf staff. The head nurse resented me for my husband having married me when she had her cap set for him, He did not even kinow she felt that way as he did not even like her. i think that Gold Crestr is a lot like you said they anyone and she needs to be in a nursing home with doctors and nurses not here.she need more specialized care than she can get here.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
28 Apr 13
You know, that is ridiculous, that someone who is a caregiver to the elderly, NEED the training to know the various physical and mental limits one has as he or she gets older. I am beginning to wonder if you should stick around, I mean knowing you have diabetes, I know how you would react to both too much or not enough blood sugar and you don't want some idiot calling you a drunkard when you need help.
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 13
hi carm have to copy every stinking word as this is my\third try I am okay as I can go to the medical guy if i need any help. I am wondering if I shuld mention that incident to him as he is the one who does all the medical stuff here now.they are not doc tors or nurses just trained lay people but they are more intelligent than nmost of the care givers. l I am going to talk to our residents president as he can go to the admins with complaints as a liaison officer and they will listen to him . I know aida is usually much calmer so it might have been just a temprary gaffe on her part but yet that poor lady cannot help her condition,.I really am not sure just what to do as I hate to g et anyonee in trouble yet this should not be happenig here.