I am so wishy washy
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (189838)
Boise, Idaho
September 1, 2015 11:02am CST
Over the weekend I made some decisions that were good for me. Gave me the opportunity to change my life and get out on my own and live for me. Up to now I have living with my daughter and helping her raise her son. She is bi-polar and he is ODD. I am the glue that keeps this whole mess together. I realized that this morning when my GS wouldn't get up for school and was subsequently not out there when the bus came. I am the one who came up with his alternative to give him the option of either getting up and taking care of his responsibilities or lose him play date this week-end with his friend.. My daughter and her boy friend were both just trying to get him to get up and that wasn't working. My solution did. So I know how things would be if I wasn't here. I can't let something happen to my grandson and I feel that I need to be here. I am so wishy washy. On the one hand I want to get out and be on my own and do for myself. But, on the other hand I need to be here to keep things going or my daughter might be in a loony bin and my GS in foster care. So I stick I guess and do what I can.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Jan 16
@celtceagle you are not being wishy washy you are just b eing practical really
1 person likes this
@yukimori (10192)
• United States
1 Sep 15
Have you considered that a psychiatric hold might be the best thing for your daughter at this point? There's a huge difference between being admitted for inpatient treatment for a mental illness and being "in a loony bin." I've been thinking about what you said about the fact that your daughter enters manic phases and gets violent whenever her medications are adjusted. Is this something that the prescribing doctor is aware of? If not, it needs to be brought to their attention.
I know this probably isn't what you'd like to hear, but please think about this. If she's admitted for inpatient treatment, they will be able to monitor her and observe the effects of the medication. They'll be able to adjust dosages or switch prescriptions to find something that helps her get her symptoms under control.
It's a really tough choice to make. I understand that. What I'm seeing as someone who's a complete outsider is that your daughter isn't having to deal with the reality of her mental illness because you step up. She doesn't have to deal with the fact that her manic phases turn her into a narcissist who doesn't put her son first. You're there to hold everything together, which enables the dysfunction to continue. It's honestly not fair to anyone involved in the situation. You all deserve better. 
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Sep 15
We've gone all though that and there is no way. She doesn't get violent. My reference to 'loony bin' was tongue in cheek. Sure the doctor knows she does this. But occasionally the meds to need to be changed. Admitting her wouldn't do any good. She would have to be there quite awhile for the meds to enter her system and take effect. She has a PSR and she is improving but it is very slow. She is 43 and I have been her advocate all her life. She couldn't take care of all her responsibilities by herself. I am here to remind her and keep her on track.
Yes, we all deserve better but this is what it is. And, I am in the glue that keeps it all together.
