Would you welcome a refugee to your home ?

@topffer Yep, it is a definite no no. I can't even let my mom, who has dementia, stay here. It would be a really, really bad mix.

@sacmom I knew about your mother, but I did not knew that you had also an autistic child. Your life is certainly not easy.

Oh, you have an autistic child ? I understand you : it is a no no. I like to receive friends at home, and I have received in the past people homeless for a few days or weeks, but I would not receive a family of refugee not speaking my language during several months.

For me also, it is fine to welcome these people escaping from their countries to save their lives, but I will not welcome a family of refugees at home. We have a law giving a right of housing for anyone here, and I think it is the job of the state to find a home for them. 24000 in 2 years is not a lot. There were more refugees in the 1980's with the boat people in Vietnam : we welcomed 170000 of them in France.

@topffer Nice. We also welcomed some from Vietnam. And since you posted this I've looked up our history online. I only know we did have foreign refugees before and now I know it was the so-called White Russians. And that's when I found out about the Vietnamese too.

@owstalaga White Russians ? When I was a student in Paris I had neighbors from Russian origins. Their parents had left Russia in the 1920's and they were really interesting. I did not knew that you had also some in the Philippines.

And maybe not ? You are a bit evasive.

@topffer I don't think Tony would agree to it.

@dawnald Tony knows better then

We have more media communication and info than before. I think that the world has always been the same, but in the past we knew less what was happening and travels were more difficult.

@topffer Agreed. But somehow, the term "terrorism" was something that was unheard of. More people could believe others and also, people were more honest back then. Today, if someone comes up and says s/he is in need of help, the first thing that comes to mind is why? Why did s/he come to me instead of going to someone else!. Conversely, if you wanted to help someone say - give a plate of food, s/he would feel obliged back then instead of Why are you giving me food ? There must be some reason behind it. Life was simpler, more people appreciated good, and did not start to seek the why from the start.

@thesids You are probably right, there was less terrorism 50 years ago and the attitudes of people have changed, but you are speaking like if you were 100 years old Sid. Life was perhaps simpler, but it was harder than today : more work, more hunger, less medicine and more health problems, no internet...

It would be taking a very high risk as it is someone you don't know.

Not sure it would be a high risk, as these people leaving their countries are mainly cultured people from middle or high classes of their society, but privacy is also important, and I would not welcome somebody for several months/years at home.

@topffer I don't think the rank in their class really matters. There have been middle/high classes murderers before. And yes, you are right about the privacy issue.

You never know when you open your door what should happen. I have had 1 bad experience and two good with homeless people. People leaving Syria or Iraq today are mainly from middle and high classes, and they had often good jobs in their country, so it is probably more secure. They are not heroes, they want to save their lives, and it is important to offer them a safe home, but I think it is the role of the state to do it.

@cahaya1983 You see, I am for quotas for economic migrants, but I am against quotas for refugees. We never have had quotas for them in my country, and we cannot send these refugees back at the border if they enter illegally, it would be criminal. We welcomed 170000 people from Vietnam in the 1980's, they have settled here and are enriching our country, but most of the time this kind of refugees want to come back home as soon as it is possible, and it is what did refugees from Chile and Lebanon in the 1970's. We have to give a roof to any refugee knocking at the door.

@topffer True, which is why it's important to know the background of the people we invite into our homes. But you're absolutely right, for the Syrian and Iraqi refugees, it's more about survival than anything else so I believe safety and security would most likely not be an issue. The state plays a major role yes, but I also think the people's role is crucial, like what happened in Iceland when the people urged the government to increase the quota of the refugees allowed to enter the country - and they eventually did.

I hadn't thought about the help, but that is a good point. If you are offering them a place to stay, then I am sure that they would be more than willing to help out wherever and whenever possible.

If the house is large enough, why not ? You would certainly argue well to present their case.

@topffer I listened to everything that my parents had to tell me ... and some of it I even put into practice.

I heard him giving another lesson today. He has more humor than our previous president, and I think he knows the limits of his speeches, like your parents with you.

I always hated that 'contradictory' mentality.

@topffer ...actually sometimes he is kind. Too kind. But I never know the moment.

Do you think that your dad would approve it ?

It is also my opinion. If they have a quota of 24000 then they should have enough roofs for these people.

@topffer I would not like that either because it is hard when you can't understand one another.

I learned here a few years ago that you had problems in your own country. Language is a big problem, and I would not like to have at home people speaking a language that I do not understand.

@topffer @Marcyaz Nobody will understand them, but we will not welcome even a refugee center in India for them. Syria is near to Saudi Arab, refugees should take shelter there, why in Europe of far parts of Asia?

You are also moving ? I have started to move boxes since 2 months and it is a true mess in both houses. I understand that you need quietness during the day to sleep.

I would be worried to have a whole family here for any length of time and what if they didn't like animals that would present a problem.

Yes, double standards. We have several presidential residences where our president never goes (or rarely) and he could have sent a strong signal by offering one of them for refugees. What you do with orphans is a good deed ! I don't think it would be possible here and I regret it.

@topffer When we welcome strangers into our home we need to be prepared for all kinds of experiences.. all my experiences were not positive. I have had tough times with some people.

@OneOfMany I understand you perfectly, you were the first one to speak the right language for this discussion : the language of the heart.

@topffer It's supported by the Syrian girls I have met over here and the ones I have met are typically attractive young women. Improper thoughts and questionable motives often open the door to understanding!

@topffer If it worked out that way it would be great. Perhaps the refugees should see what singles are available and head there!

@topffer Maybe what I am trying to say is that it is a more personal thing than a "need" kind of thing. I can't seem to find the right words but you expanded on it a little. I wish I could take a family in, but I doubt it would actually happen. I hope it doesn't make me a bad person.

@mrdprince Certainly not, as I would be also a bad person, and I don't want to be a bad person. More seriously, I understand your position.

It depends of what you call "commonality". Syrians refugees are educated people (architects, teachers, etc), and not camel breeders. What would stop me to welcome a refugee is the language : it would be impossible for me to live with somebody if I cannot communicate. And I also like my privacy. I can welcome in my home a refugee for a few days or weeks, but certainly not for a year or more, until the war is finished in their country.

The check is supposed to be done when they enter in the country, but you never know...

@CaptAlbertWhisker No, but I think that Muslims running out because of radical Muslims are a good weapon against radicalism, and that we have also to welcome them.

@topffer Am I a bad person if I will prioritize Yazidi, Jewish and Christian Syrians over the Muslim ones?

The refugees coming from Syria are from educated middle and upper classes and a large part of them will certainly come back to their country at the end of the war. Same happened with Lebanese who came in France in the 70's. Only a few are still here. On the opposite we welcomed 270000 boat people from Vietnam in the 80's and all of them settled. They are now enriching my country. Sadly for German Jews who came in France, half of the country has been occupied by Germany in 1940, and many of them were deported to extermination camps. It is less known but they deported also to extermination camps the Spanish republicans refugees, and they were a lot more than German Jews in France (they were 440000 in 1939 in France). One of my best friends is the son of a Spanish refugee who escaped to the raids they did in 1940 against these refugees.

@Bluedoll I think that Germany which has a low fertility hopes that these refugees will settle and their generosity is a bit interested. We have to help these people without ulterior political motives, but if these political motives help, it is alright. I also think that the Muslim problem is mainly a problem with Wahhabism (from Al-Qaeda to ISIS, all terrorists are issued from Wahhabism and are applying its rules), and if I am right it will not be solved easily, as the wahhabist countries are those owning the oil (Saudi Arabia and the Emirates around), and they are today those which are refusing to welcome refugees from Syria...

@topffer There are some fear regarding a few bad ones mixed in and also what effect on the society a large influx of change (job markets) might have but as you pointed out there can be much to gain too. However, I took note of what BernieZ wrote. There is so much anger in that region and certainly good reason for anger. The "war'' never ends. Looked at the comparison of WW2 so we can see what kind of war this actually is. The numbers are staggering, impossible to ignore. It will not miss the history books.

And a very short response for a so difficult question.

@topffer Ok, I can give you a better a answer.

@topffer I know that there are a lot of refugees that need a place to stay so that they can restart their lives. They have nothing in their country and they are lost. But it can be so risky to put someone you don't know inside your house. That is what I don't know if I could do it.

yes our hats off to those who will take in the refugees.

You are certainly right, but in my country we have a right of housing for everybody, and my opinion is that if the state welcomes 24000 refugees, it has also to find a roof for them.

@Marcyaz Having said that, it is also time for the world to come to grips with problems, that makes refugees out of ordinary mortals like you and me. The violence and intolerance that goes in doing so, should not find place in any civilized society.

I would also gladly contribute to help them with money or food, but I would not lodge somebody at home for more than a few days or weeks.

@topffer yeah, Im not comfortable with other in my home, we rarely even have people over. The only one in the last year was my brother in law, no one else has been here but repairmen.