Trapped in 2014
By Gina
@Gina145 (3949)
Johannesburg, South Africa
September 9, 2015 6:29am CST
I'm having a really difficult week.
Exactly a year ago at this time, my Dad was in surgery. A naturopath had warned us that he shouldn't have the operation but should treat his condition using natural methods - or in other words, diet. But Dad didn't believe in such things and chose to trust the doctors. It proved to be a fatal error as the surgery caused a massive stroke which killed him.
Right now I feel like I'm trapped in 2014 as I keep thinking about where I was exactly one year ago and wishing that I could change things. I really wish this week was over.
7 people like this
6 responses
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
10 Sep 15
I felt sad about how you feel. If I were there I will hug you. I think it is quite understandable if you cannot move on, in the first place, he is your dad. The worst thing that could happen to us is losing our loved one. I am really sad about this. I want to know if you really are blaming anyone, or yourself because you said you feel like you are trap in there? I hope you forgiven yourself already because that is the first process of moving on. It happens my friend, but no matter how I console you, you will still feel that way.I want you to feel that you understand your situation and please keep on sharing it until you will be okay. Hopefully soon. If I can be of help please let me know.I am praying for you. God bless you!
1 person likes this
@Gina145 (3949)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Sep 15
Thanks @grecychunny26 . I don't really blame myself because we had to let my Dad decide for himself and he thought the operation would help him. But I do blame the doctors and nurses for not looking after him properly and I think the surgeon was wrong to recommend a seven hour operation for a man of 81.
1 person likes this
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
10 Sep 15
@Gina145 Now I really feel what you are feeling. Now I understand what are you going through. That is really hard. Do you want to file a case?
1 person likes this
@Gina145 (3949)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
11 Sep 15
@grecychunny26 No, we're not going to file a case. It would cause my Mom and I too much stress.
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
9 Sep 15
Sorry to hear and you are reliving it all over again, I know what you mean by it all and wishing you could changes things.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
9 Sep 15
@Gina145 It's sad and I do wish they had done something for you father.
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@Gina145 (3949)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
9 Sep 15
@kevin1877uk Thanks. The one thing I take consolation from is that he didn't really suffer. I've heard some stories that were a lot worse than what happened to him.
1 person likes this
@Gina145 (3949)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
9 Sep 15
Thanks @kevin1877uk . In some ways it's hard to believe it's a year already, but in other ways it feels like forever since I saw my Dad. The wishing for change is really hard because I can't help feeling that if the doctors and nurses had done everything right, my Dad would still be here.
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@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 Sep 15
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. That's a terrible thing to deal with, especially all the wondering about the "what ifs". I hope you find some comfort today, I know the grief of losing parent. We are never truly prepared for that.
1 person likes this
@Gina145 (3949)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
9 Sep 15
Thanks @Rollo1 . It was a horrible situation because after the operation the doctor told us it had been a big success. Because it was a big operation he was sent to the intensive care unit though. It was only the next morning when we went to visit him that I realised something wasn't right, despite the assurances of the nurse on duty that he was 'just sleeping'. Among the 'what ifs' is the question of whether he'd still be alive if the doctors and nurses had been more competent.
@Gina145 (3949)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
9 Sep 15
@LadyDuck Thanks Anna. I've always been against unnecessary surgery too, but the doctors made my Dad feel that this one was essential. They didn't warn him that the operation was going to be a very long one until the night before the surgery, and by then it was too late to discuss whether he should go ahead or cancel it.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
10 Sep 15
bless yer heart, i can empathize with ya. 've similar thoughts in regards to my dad 'n my mamaw's passin' 's i think both could've been avoided if'n only....1 person likes this
@Gina145 (3949)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
11 Sep 15
@crazyhorseladycx I'm sorry that you've been through that too. I get the feeling that all doctors care about now is money. It wasn't always that way.
1 person likes this
