I thought you were a man
By Porcospino
@Porcospino (31365)
Denmark
September 10, 2015 9:24am CST
Some members of discussion sites don't reveal their gender and their age in their profiles and sometimes we get very surprised when we discover their gender or their age in one of the discussions.
I was a member of a discussion site and I often talked to one of the other members. We often agreed and we had a lot in common. I assumed that the person was a woman in her late 30s like myself. One day I discovered that the person was a 70-year-old man! 
That didn't change our friendship, but it was so strange to find out that my mental picture of the person had been wrong all time.
The same thing happened in another case. The member was very active. We weren't friends, but I had often read the posts that the person had written, and I was sure that the person was a man. One day that member participated in a discussion about tampons. Oops wrong again 
Did you ever experience the same thing on myLot or on other sites?
That didn't change our friendship, but it was so strange to find out that my mental picture of the person had been wrong all time.
The same thing happened in another case. The member was very active. We weren't friends, but I had often read the posts that the person had written, and I was sure that the person was a man. One day that member participated in a discussion about tampons. Oops wrong again
Did you ever experience the same thing on myLot or on other sites?10 people like this
9 responses
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
11 Sep 15
Yes I've made the same mistake, and also had people think that I was a man. That's why, in my introductory post yesterday, I stated quite clearly that I was a woman in her senior years.
I do like to have a good idea of the person I'm communicating with.
3 people like this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
11 Sep 15
It is a good idea to write your gender in your introduction. Sometimes it is difficult to know if we are talking a man or woman. I have been wrong a couple of times, and I have also met someone on myLot who thought that I was a man. I guess my name and my avatar don't reveal my gender.
@owstalaga (4825)
• Philippines
10 Sep 15
Well someone mistook me as a man here even with my cute and girly profile pic. That's because of a make up comment I did! It's cool though, Maybe I have the mind of a man having grown up with brothers? 
Or not. hehe.
I always check people's profiles to know if they are male or female. If they prefer not to show it then I don't ask unless they write about themselves and I get to know them more. 
It's cool though, Maybe I have the mind of a man having grown up with brothers? Or not. hehe.
I always check people's profiles to know if they are male or female. If they prefer not to show it then I don't ask unless they write about themselves and I get to know them more. 2 people like this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
10 Sep 15
It is funny that they thought that you were a man Did you have the same avatar at that time? It looks like a female avatar to me. I also check people's profiles if I don't know if they are male or female, but sometimes they don't reveal their gender in their profiles
Did you have the same avatar at that time? It looks like a female avatar to me. I also check people's profiles if I don't know if they are male or female, but sometimes they don't reveal their gender in their profiles 2 people like this
@owstalaga (4825)
• Philippines
10 Sep 15
@Porcospino yup, haven't changed it since I came back. 
But it's all good. At least now they know my gender.
But it's all good. At least now they know my gender. 2 people like this
. I realized that you were a woman with your discussion about the jeepney and the burglars
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
10 Sep 15
This is so very common on the Internet. It has happened with me even here, at MyLot. Back then, I was completely sure that this person was a male. I even addressed a couple times using "him" on other discussions. Then one day, somehow, she read my responses. Did not say a word. Then on our mutual interaction on my discussion, I referred her as an elder brother to me. And it was then, she responded that she would be better off being addressed as my Big Sis. I was like... WHAT!!!.
Nothing has changed between us, except me now addressing her as my Big Sis everywhere since then. And we are also connected on Facebook. Unfortunately, she did find the new version of MyLot quite tough to navigate and has not returned after her first discussion. I wish she returns back and adds to MyLot.
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Nothing has changed between us, except me now addressing her as my Big Sis everywhere since then. And we are also connected on Facebook. Unfortunately, she did find the new version of MyLot quite tough to navigate and has not returned after her first discussion. I wish she returns back and adds to MyLot.2 people like this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
10 Sep 15
You must have been really surpriced when you found out that she was a woman I wonder why she didn't tell you earlier. The same thing happened to me once. Someone on myLot called me "him" and he was surpriced when I told him that I am a woman
It is sad that your friend stays away from myLot because she finds the new version hard to navigate. I think that it takes a while to get used to the new version. Maybe she will give it another chance and come back one day.
I wonder why she didn't tell you earlier. The same thing happened to me once. Someone on myLot called me "him" and he was surpriced when I told him that I am a woman
It is sad that your friend stays away from myLot because she finds the new version hard to navigate. I think that it takes a while to get used to the new version. Maybe she will give it another chance and come back one day.2 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
10 Sep 15
@Porcospino She said, she did not want to mention it on other discussions and on most of our discussions, we never had the need to use gender based words until that discussion where I mentioned "Big Brother".
I am trying to persuade her back, but from her latest Fb Updates, I think she is going to become a Granny anytime today. So maybe, this has kept her away.
2 people like this
@topffer (42155)
• France
11 Sep 15
It happened to me on French forums several times. In theory if people were writing a good French, the doubt should not last long, but some women are writing like if they were a man without making their participles agree with their gender, and you realize that they are not a man later. In a forum I thought during 2 or 3 years that somebody was a man until "he" told that "she" was a woman. I always feel stupid when something like this occurs.
. I always feel stupid when something like this occurs.1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
11 Sep 15
It is interesting that the French grammar makes if possible to see the person's gender. It was one of the things that I had to get used to when I learned French in the past. In Danish we always use the same word and it is impossible to see the person's gender based on the things that they write.
It is a strange feeling to discover that the person isn't a man or a woman like we thought I have experienced it a couple of times and I get really surpriced each time it happens.
I have experienced it a couple of times and I get really surpriced each time it happens.1 person likes this
@topffer (42155)
• France
11 Sep 15
@Porcospino Many forum users have an approximate grammar making difficult to tell the gender with their writings. Some women are putting all participles to the feminine, even those after verbs not needing it, and some are writing like if they were men. I told a friend who is a teacher that I would not like to be a woman, because writing would be too complicated, and I defended the same grammar gender for all. She said that she would regret to not have this feminine touch available.
It is really a strange feeling when you realize your mistake after several months or years.
.1 person likes this
@hostessman (11871)
• Tucson, Arizona
10 Sep 15
I don't know if it ever happened to me but I just enjoy the discussion and I don't care rather your a man or women
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
10 Sep 15
We can enjoy the discussions without that knowledge, but I tend to create a mental picture of the person I am talking to. Sometimes that picture is completely wrong.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36987)
•
11 Sep 15
I've seen that happen on another site, not sure why they do it.
1 person likes this
@redvakaurvaki (4217)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 15
I often experience this actually! I thought that my favorite discussion mate was around 30 years old female, but then I found out he is 50 years old male. It doesn't change things because in internet, as long as we can comfort each other
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
11 Sep 15
That sounds a lot like my own experience. I also thought that I was talking to a woman my age, and the person was actually a man who was several years older than me. It didn't change our friendship, but I got very surpriced when I discovered the truth.
1 person likes this
@redvakaurvaki (4217)
• Indonesia
15 Sep 15
@Porcospino True, when the truth revealed, it could be so surprising
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
11 Sep 15
Things like that happens sometimes. I have experienced the same thing, and I was really surpriced when I discovered the truth. Like in your case we had a lot in common.
1 person likes this
